Message Boards

Topic : 12/19 Parents’ Ultimate Test: Dealing with Autism

Number of Replies: 290
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, December 13, 2007, 05:12:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The ultimate test for any parent is loving a child who is difficult, sometimes frightening, to the whole family. It’s a test parents of autistic children are put to daily. Ten-year-old Luz throws screaming tantrums, barks like a dog, and tells his mother, Sara, that he plans to kill her. Sara has long felt despair at Luz’s out-of-control behavior, yet she was shocked when a doctor diagnosed him with autism. Go inside the daily life of this family, see Luz’s wild behavior caught on tape, and learn why Sara’s main coping mechanisms might be putting her at risk. Then, a member of Dr. Phil’s own staff achieved miraculous results for her autistic child and her whole family through an intense program. Could a similar treatment work for Luz? Plus, what causes autism? Several recent media reports and high-profile parents such as Jenny McCarthy have pointed the finger at vaccinations. Is there a link? Child care expert and pediatrician Dr. Jim Sears weighs in. Then, imagine having a crime committed against you, but not having a voice or any way to tell someone you’d been wronged. Some mothers in Las Vegas say that’s exactly what happened when a teacher allegedly abused their autistic children, and they’ve filed a lawsuit. Hear them recount the painful details of the alleged abuse. What are their chances of winning in court? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

February 8, 2008, 5:55 pm CST

Good Gravy

Quote From: brandia

That was quite possibly the saddest statement I have ever heard:

 

But those of us who lost a child, who was Neuro-typical, to this epidemic...we know differently

 

Your child didn't die!!!!!!!!! He is still there, he still needs you to love him, he is not your idea of perfect but my Lord woman he's still your child. Do you just spend your days looking at him, being angry that he is who he is? My heart is breaking for him right now. So he not what you thought you'd get... are you perfect?

 

I'm wondering if the early intervention was your attempt at trying to fix your "broken" child, not for his well being, but to make things easier on you. There is no cure & again: I will state after reading this message board, you can keep your nuero-typicalness, I's rather be an Aussie, Aspy, Autistic anyday


You are wildly projecting.

My mind was so not even near where yours went, that it never occurred to me that my words could be so wildly misconstrued.

I am pained for the experiences my son has endured.

Yes, we suffered a loss. All of us. My son lost language, the ability to communicate, HE lost so much.
That caused a world of hurt for our family.

We suffered a loss,

We have gained an equal amount of enlightenment, for having had to live through this experience.
How awful to be inside your head, no offense.
That is a piece of the depression puzzle for you...
to quote Anias Nin "We do not see the world as it is, we see the world how WE ARE"
Good luck to you.
 
February 28, 2008, 9:43 pm CST

Sydney, Australia

First-thanks for your evenly balanced show, Dr Phil!

 

I was pleasantly surprised your Paediatrician expert was actually au fait with the autism mainstream!

As Dr Seers (Sears?) said,over half the parents of Autistic kids KNOW it was vaccines. I'm one of those.

My ex-autistic son is 13.

I have 4 older children (ages 28-21) -all gifted and talented. I'm convinced the only reason my 21 year old son was ADD and not ASD was that he was born in 1986 before the vaccine schedule doubled.

 

The reason I emphasise this is that the Biological regime (Pfeiffer/ DAN) is based upon treating these physical imbalances.

I cannot say this enough.............Autistic children are SICK!

 

Once you remediate their chronic brain/gut inflammation (in our son's case from measles vaccine), eliminate allergic foods, add supplements for enzyme, vitamin deficiencies ,mineral imbalances (specifically Zn /Cu) etc AND chelate (7 times safe mercury levels in our son's case) THEN they are well enough to begin auditory/visual/proprioceptive retraining with AIT/ Samonas/HANDLE/Floortime or whatever other therapy is available.

 

Most of the "rocking/handflapping/bizarre tantrums etc are direct communication of pain (usually gut), sensory distortion and the anxiety both these factors cause the child.

 

Please tell Luz's parents we started late -our son ws 9 before we finally found a Pfeiffer trained Physician.

Despite this...........the improvements in our son are amazing.

At age 13...........

He now reads!He attends normal high school and has a group of 4 friends with whom he goes to the movies, attends Air League (a form of scouts with flying), drama, swimming and the usual school activities.He even participates in sport!!

 

He has an ironic sense of humour and understands complicated concepts (both school subjects and emotions/empathy!) .However, he still doesn't remember months of the year and has trouble with our phone number etc.This is not unexpected, as it is precisely these areas of brain function most effected by mercury damage.We have been lucky that other areas mercury loves seem to have fared better with him.

 

The Lord  has also sent so many loving helpers into our lives.

 

Keep hope. It's NEVER too late!

Our son's doctor had an 18 year old ASD boy speak for the 1st time just by trying the gluten/casein free diet!

 

kerrie

 

 

 
February 29, 2008, 6:45 am CST

advice re: violence

Quote From: msjones_2007

I leave in Texas and I am a Severe Aide for an Autistic Room.  My children can be very violent at times.  I have been scratched, hair pulled, bitten numerous times, but some days our kids are great.  It does take a special person to be able to deal with an Autism child.  You can scream and holler because it would go in one ear and out the other.  My kids are very smart.  You just have to know how to handle them when they become violent.  They can get violent.  I know a couple of my good teacher friends have been seriously injured behind kids, but they are still in this field.  I love working with Autstic children and I would not change my job for the world. 

 

Ms. Jones

Texas

I would be interested in what interventions have you found successful when a child is displaying violent behaviors.

 

AM

Easter Seals Southwestern IL Autism Resource Center

 
March 13, 2008, 1:10 pm CDT

Please Be Aware That Not All Autistics Are Violent!

Quote From: essiarc

I would be interested in what interventions have you found successful when a child is displaying violent behaviors.

 

AM

Easter Seals Southwestern IL Autism Resource Center

 

 

                             I find it to be a stereotype that it is assumed that all autistics are violent! That is without a doubt certainly not true.  Most are not.  I'm an Extremely high-functioning autistic and I am not at all violent.

 
May 11, 2008, 2:59 pm CDT

son just diagnosed @ age 15

Quote From: kpag18

My youngest child has Autism.  She is now 19.  She lives in an apartment with 24-hour support staff.  She has lived independently for a year and a half, and although it was the hardest thing I have ever done, it was the best choice for her.  She would never have learned to live independently if she continued to live with me because I would enable her every move.  I love her too much to watch her struggle, so I tend to spoil her!  She has no other family support in her life, as her Dad, brother and sisters do not bother with her beyond an occasional phone call, and all other relatives live far away.  She needed to have the opportunity to develop her own lifestyle and friends, and now she has that.  She is still working on her High School Degree, and she has a job (with a job coach to assist her).  I talk to her daily, by email and phone, and I still spoil her at my house on the weekends, but she has learned to do so much for herself and I am so very proud of her accomplishments.  And although I still cry the whole way home every time I leave her, the most important thing is that I know that she will continue to prosper and succeed long after I'm gone!!

 My 15 year old son was just diagnosed as a high functionong autistic and the school he attends doesn't want to accept the diagnosis ( they would have to provide services? and don't want to ?), So I am trying to get him some help to insure that he can live independent of me. My circumstances are similar to yours with no close family and he has a sister who is far away in college and six years older than him. Also he and his sister never really bonded. I am a single mother, going to be 50 soon and am worried so much about his future. We live in southern CA and funding is very tight. what do I do?, where do we start?, who can help? I would love to give to my son the gift of independence and pride your daughter now has. God bless you.

 

From someone who is here and wants to be there.

 
November 7, 2008, 12:07 pm CST

Aspergers Syndrome

 
March 10, 2009, 3:42 pm CDT

12/19 Parents’ Ultimate Test: Dealing with Autism

Quote From: happynurse63

Symptoms of Mercury poisoning: By theEnvironmental Protection Agency
  • Impairment of the peripheral vision
  • Disturbances in sensations ("pins and needles" feelings, numbness) usually in the hands feet and sometimes around the mouth
  • Lack of coordination of movements, such as writing
  • Impairment of speech, hearing, walking;
  • Muscle weakness
  • Skin rashes
  • Mood swing
  • Memory loss
  • Mental disturbance 
Sypmptoms of Autism:
Babies
  • Appears indifferent to surroundings
  • Appears content to be alone, happier to play alone
  • Displays lack of interest in toys
  • Displays lack of response to others
  • Does not point out objects of interest to others (called protodeclarative pointing)
  • Marked reduction or increase in activity level
  • Resists cuddling
Children
  • Avoids cuddling or touching
  • Frequent behavioral outbursts, tantrums
  • Inappropriate attachments to objects
  • Maintains little or no eye contact
  • Over- or undersensitivity to pain, no fear of danger
  • Sustained abnormal play
  • Uneven motor skills
  • Unresponsiveness to normal teaching methods and verbal clues (may appear to be deaf despite normal hearing)
Mercury poisoning does not equal Autism!
or in the case of vaccines causing Autism: Thimerosal does not equal Autism!
Back in the old days, the consensus was that illness/disease was caused by evil spirits, that rats/vermin arose from piles of garbage or dirty clothes (abiogenesis/spontaneous generation).  Louis Pasteur debunked all of those "superstitions" with a carefully constructed experiment, called "Pasteur's Experiment".
Thimerosal has been removed from all vaccines, with the exception of the flu vaccine!
If you are interested in thimerosal in vaccines, MMR vaccines, check out some famous studies from the Danish and the Japanese, the study shows that even though many parents in these countries, who, afraid of the vaccine/Autism link, did NOT vaccinate,  but the Autism rates still increased.
Now if Autism is caused by vaccines, how do you explain the paradigm?

My child exibits symptoms from both lists. Looking  peripheral resulted in vision therapy to correct his loss of central vision. So what's wrong with him? Got kids? No definitive proof but some have all the answers.LOL
 
April 28, 2009, 5:27 pm CDT

Autism and violecne

I have a 20 year old daughter. The youngest of 4 children. She is diagnosed with Asburger Syndrome and mild mentel retardation. Her speech is good and her eye contact is good. She hates lookng at herself in mirrors and photos. She hates hearing the word Autism and does not want to hear about her conditon in any way.  Her social skills are terrible and she does not have close friends. Her obsessions keep her in her own world a lot of the time. I have been told she is at a 7 year old's level. When she is angry with her older sister or someone else in the family she will get very agressive and use bad words. She will kick, scream, scratch and bite. Break things, wreck her room and draw pictures. The pictures are of family members hurting other family members. The last time she did this she drew a picture of her older brother with a gun shooting me. Then she drew her other brother with a knife killing her sister. She drew her grandmother (my husband's mother) giving poison to her father. This is so scarey. She has not gone for sharp objects or knives but I am worried this will get worse and she will act out her drawings. She can be so wonderful at times but the violent behaviour is geing worse.

 
July 16, 2009, 2:20 pm CDT

i know how tough it is my son has pdd and my nephew has asburgers also

Quote From: shirlyalli

I have a 20 year old daughter. The youngest of 4 children. She is diagnosed with Asburger Syndrome and mild mentel retardation. Her speech is good and her eye contact is good. She hates lookng at herself in mirrors and photos. She hates hearing the word Autism and does not want to hear about her conditon in any way.  Her social skills are terrible and she does not have close friends. Her obsessions keep her in her own world a lot of the time. I have been told she is at a 7 year old's level. When she is angry with her older sister or someone else in the family she will get very agressive and use bad words. She will kick, scream, scratch and bite. Break things, wreck her room and draw pictures. The pictures are of family members hurting other family members. The last time she did this she drew a picture of her older brother with a gun shooting me. Then she drew her other brother with a knife killing her sister. She drew her grandmother (my husband's mother) giving poison to her father. This is so scarey. She has not gone for sharp objects or knives but I am worried this will get worse and she will act out her drawings. She can be so wonderful at times but the violent behaviour is geing worse.

i have a 14 yr old son curentlly in a school for children with developmental disorders..hes been away from hom for almost a year.its so hard not being able to be there all the time when he needs me.he often cries when i call him and it tears my heart out.ive been going through this sence he was about 3 yrs old.goin from dr to dr..getting all kinds of digagnoses...my son also gets angry when hes trigered..i dont have any one to talk to so it makes it harder to deal with........yvonne anderson winsted ct.
 
August 10, 2009, 2:05 pm CDT

autism

I just wanted to say the best part of this show was the message someone left about not surviving through the day but dancing in the rain.  I'm a mom of 3 kids under 5.  Two with autism, and one baby. 

I think its pretty ridiculous ye are all arguing about the cause.  I know there is research into the causes being done, and why not leave it to the professionals instead of assuming you know everything by telling everyone "oh its definitely this, or definitely not this".  I doubt you really know.

Thats one of the harder parts of autism, the not knowing.  They say early intervention works.  But there are people who start early intervention with their children at age 2 and they still don't gain language skills (talk), and there are people who start at age 5 and they improve straight away.  There are kids who go on those special diets and all of the sudden they see massive improvements, and there are kids who it doesn't change anything.  What the previous posters are saying about each child being different with autism is true.  I have two sons, both autistic.  They are like polar opposites.  And neither one are physical in a mean way.  They both have meltdowns, as most people with autism occassionally to frequently do.  They react differently during these times.  They are unique individuals.  They have loads of personality!   But I don't have a clue what their functioning skill level will be when they are 10, 15, 20, 40?  They could both live at home for the rest of their lives, or they could be extremely high functioning as they get older, make many improvements and go to a University.   You just do everything you can and hope for the best.

I agree that you should not define a person with autism as only autistic, as they are so much more.  They have likes and dislikes.  Its just like saying everyone of a certain race or ethnicity is the same, when they are clearly not. 

Another challenge of autism is that my boys look perfect.  People have certain expectations of children who look like a cute, well behaved, little boy.  They don't expect them to start screaming in the shop because it gets too crowded, or to cover there ears if they get overwhelmed.  They don't expect them to start crying because you touched their hand.  And the biggest thing people DO expect of your child is to talk back to them.  Neither one of my boys have functional speech yet.  People talk to them.  Say "hi" whats your name, how old are you?  Are you having fun playing?  One of my kids won't even look at them and would act as if he didn't hear you (although his hearing is perfect).  The other one would look at you and he has quite an extensive echolalia and would probably come up with a phrase or a few words that had absolutely nothing to do with what you asked him.  He can sense your tone, so he would answer a question, but most of the time its a yes or no because he doesn't actually know what you're saying.  So if you say, whats your name, he might say no. 

My main point is.  The kids are the focus.  Don't make it about why.  Just make it about them.  About helping them and being there for them.

The hardest thing for me is making time for myself.  Because I think most parents of a child with autism will tell you its a 24 / 7 full time gig.  And you can sit there and tell me that any child is a 24/7 job.  But its not the same.  A child without these challenges might sit quietly for a while while you get a cup of coffee or are making dinner.  It IS different for every child with autism.  But mine require constant attention, support, and supervision.  My best bet is to keep us all in one room (or two rooms joined together) for a good part of the day so I can see what they are up to the entire time, and make sure they are safe and well looked after.  This means not cooking proper meals (a lot of the time), or needing to make time to eat (they don't eat regular foods, they each eat different things, are very picky about what they eat), not getting time to do pretty much anything that doesn't revolve around the kids unless they are at the pre-school (both at the same time), or in bed!

I also wanted to say my oldest son is in aba which seems to have helped a lot.  I didn't see many people posting about that on here.  - the tutors come to our home and work with him one on one?  That is in addition to speech therapy, occupational therapy,  their psychologist, pediatrician, nutritionist, and physiotherapist.  As well as attending a local pre-school part time for exposure to other kids! :)

Sorry about this being long.  I hope it gives another side to this issue! :)  I guess I want to end by saying I'm not upset that my kids have autism.  I accept it.  Its a small part of who they are.  I do work with them on the "little things" as does their dad, to try to encourage them to develop new skills.  But I don't want to waste any time worrying about what did this to my kids, when I could be spending time with them.
 
First | Prev | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | Next Page | Last Page