Topic : 01/02 No Kidding New Year's Resolutions

I am a Mom and a wife of a wonderful husband.  6 years ago our lives were turned upside down.  We already had beautiful daughter and then a son.  Little did we know our son would have a very rare illness.  He is amazing and I can not imagine him in my life.  The problem is I sunk my emotions in the candy machines at the hospitals.   I gained over a 100 pounds.  I do not see myself.  I have not seen myself in a long time.   The difference now verses the last 6 years, I finally came to reality that this is not going away.  I finally cry when I need to cry instead of hide my feelings or eat.  My son will always have this illness.  We have learned to manage his illness. It is time to rid myself of this reflection of years of  fear,  frustration and hurt.  I have the book (the last three years).  Time to get past Step 2.   Good luck to everyone wanting to get on track.  

Dr. Phil,

 

Do you think, perhaps, the female that has a smoking problem is experiencing anxiety attacks when she quits? I believe you have a cognitive approach, which I think could be beneficial to this individual. Thought: I can't do this, I can't cope, I'm giving up my best-friend; Feeling: Out of control, anxiety, panic; Reaction: Anxiety attack.

 

Thanks!

Lori, LCSW, MSW

 Hi Pam,
I smoked for 30 years, a true nicotine addict. I tried everything to quit. When I went cold turkey I was cranky my kids begged their dad to take their allowance and buy me some smokes just to relieve the stress I put on them. I live in Canada and we have a product here called CHAMPIX. I had heard good things about it. My doctor prescribed it and it is amazing. In 2 weeks I just quit, I just forgot to smoke, not one withdrawal. It is a 12 week program and I am one month in. What it does is it uses varenicline tartrate tablets to block the receptors that make you crave a cigarette. I hope this is available to you because it has been the miracle I needed to quit.
M. Lawrence
Sask. Canada

I am 21 years old and have been married for going on four years.  I watched the show today and totally hate resolutions.  However, I am SO READY to quit smoking....I started when I was 17 and really don't know why..I guess to just be in the crowd.  I quit when I got pregnant almost two years ago, because I knew the risk to my child however after I quit breastfeeding I started right back.  My son is now 19 months old and my husband and I don't smoke in the car or in the house because of the risk to our son...but it was like a light bulb just went off...there is serious risk to us too...I don't know if my husband is going to quit but I sure do know I am!  Thanks Dr. Phil for the extra little push.   My only concern is how should I go about it...I told myself that I would not pick the bad habit up after I had my son but I did...it is hard when there is another person....do i pretend I'm pregnant again..what do I do to actually stop this time...I'm young enough to stop and add years to my life and my son is young enough to never know I did smoke...win win for us both...he's got a mom longer and hopeful he'll never pick the habit up because he won't see me doing it...but what is the plan you have set forth for pam...I want to know the steps to take!  Please help and thanks again.

YI swear infront of kids and I do it. I would like to stop and this is about me

Hi Debbie,

 

You don't have to be over weight to have Sleep Apnea.  I also have it, I sleep with a CPAP Machine and I used to weigh 125 lbs.  I had my tonsils and my uvula (hanger back of my throat) taken out about 3 or 4 years ago, but it didn't work and I still have Sleep Apnea.  I weigh 165 lbs, 5'8 and I'm 52 yrs old.  I would like to lose 40 lbs., plus to find a solution to stop sleeping with the CPAP Machine.       

 

Dr. Phil also has good books to help lose weight.  The Ultimate Weight Solution:  The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, and The Ultimate Weight Solution Food Guide. 

 

Wishing you the best.

I quit cold turkey 35 years ago but my wife continued to smoke. She's 66 now . After smoking for 55 years,up to three packs a day, and trying to quit many times, she finally did with the help of Chantix. Her previous attempts were because I wanted her to stop. Finally a health scare made her want to stop for herself. She's now been smoke free for 8 months. If it takes a smoking cessation aid to quit, don't be afraid to use it.

  It is not easy to quit smoking.  But it can be done!  My husband and I have talked about quitting for a few years.  Last March the state of Iowa added a dollar per pack to cigarettes.  That did it for me.  I know it seems like a shallow reason to quit but it worked.  I absolutely COULD NOT pay that much for a pack of cigarettes. 

 

I used the product Smoke Away to help.  It is not a magic pill.  You still have to stop smoking, it will not just magically cure you. 

 

I can't say it was a walk in the park but it was not as bad as I thought it would be.  I was an emotional mess for about 3 months and I would cry at the drop of a hat. 

 

I wanted to let the lady on the show know that you DO NOT have to wait for your husband to quit smoking so you can.  I quit while my husband was still smoking.  It has been 9 months since I smoked but my husband is still smoking.  I'm sure he will quit someday...I can't make him. 

 

I really hope she goes for it and quits.  She will be so glad that she did.  I am.  I am able to breathe better and go out and play with my children. That makes it all worth it.  Good Luck!

Nysha,Simone. Iam in the same vote I swear I'm violent  your sister Victoria should change her ways herserlf. And this is not for both of you .You have nothing to do with it. It is not your life Except for Victoria. She has to learn to control herself because none of you won't be around your mom won't be around to protect you all  not Victoria. Because now it is time for her to change for herself. She will lose her family if she continues. Don't enable her she has got to learn to figure out. You are all grown women you have your kids

Hi Jill

 

Belive me I know what you are going through, I am in the same position as you. Sometimes I do the same thing, but I finally took the incentive and changed my life. Sure I still struggle sometimes, but I have it under control.

The reason I used to do the same binge eating as you, is because all my life I have always tried to please my mother. No matter what I do for her - and it is a lot. I have 4 sisters who don't even do anything for her not even take her shopping for groceries knowing that Dad is not able to do this, he can't really walk long distances, he walks with a cane.If it wasn't for me they would starve, literally.

 

I grew up and tried to move on, but having mom's approval still meant a lot to me. But even today nothing I do is right or good enough. So in turn I used to eat to comfort myself, make me feel better. I also do the take out and eat in the car thing. Maybe to eat with another would show them that I am eating like a pig; this is just what I felt like after I ate it all. It really wasn't worth it, but I did it anyway.

 

It was self punishing. Then sometimes when I feel alone in the world, like no one understands me or cares about what I have to say or who I am, even feel unloved by my husband, I eat.

 

Then one day I woke up and decided that all these people in my life could be replaced if I really had to. But if I don't change my life then I am giving in to them, and they don't really care now, so why would me getting fat change them at all? I would just look like hell and feel worse.

I changed my life and now live with who I am, I am number one in my life and they don't matter. When I put this in my head,I changed my thinking. It did take a long time to do this, sometimes I still do this, but haven't for a long time.

 

I know you can do this, if you want to keep in touch, feel free to do so. I know that you can be successful as I am living proof that it can be done, you just have to find out what it is thats bothering you, deep inside and I probably am right that it is similar to mine.

 

All the best,

Bee