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Topic : 01/03 Shocking Trends of the New Year

Number of Replies: 217
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Created on : Monday, December 17, 2007, 10:08:40 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents, listen up! It’s a new year, and the risky behavior of teens is ever-evolving into dangerous new trends propagated on the Internet. Is your teen involved in an activity that would shock you? First, Cody, Connor, Grayson and Garrett are teenage friends who film themselves doing daredevil stunts and then post them online for the public to view. The latest trend is called mattress surfing, where kids ride on top of a mattress being dragged behind a truck at top speed. The boys say they do it safely, but what do their parents think? The answer may shock you. When a family shares their tragic true story, will the boys see that mattress surfing isn’t just fun and games? Next, many people feel this practice is inhumane when it’s done to animals –- but now some teens are putting their health at risk to do it to each other. Then, Kaytee is a 15-year-old diabetic who says she’d rather risk dying than be fat. She engages in diabulimia, a deadly new practice of skipping insulin doses to lose weight. Wanda has been a diabulimic for 15 years and is lucky to be alive. Will these women stop their slow suicide? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 12, 2008, 6:29 pm CST

Mother of Kaytee

Quote From: l8bloomer

I couldn't agree with you more.  This girl's life is definitely on the line, but SHE is the one who needs to realize that.  I don't think selling the house to get her treatment would be a smart move.  I think they should keep trying therapy (maybe switch therapists?  I would try and find someone who specialized in addiction) and hope and pray that Kaytee comes to her senses soon and finds something worth living for other than a size 2 jean.
I have switched therapist, we are on the fourth one.  The last one was one of the supposedly "elite" of the St. Louis area in dealing with eating disorders.  It didn't work.  Also, selling the house, will only cause more stress on the family.  We have always lived within our means and to have to sell, we will still have to pay rent, and Kaytee will be affected because she will know that we did this for her.  You have to realize that it is just not about weight, that there is an addiction here.
 
January 12, 2008, 6:34 pm CST

I am Kaytee's mom

Quote From: btrflybeetle

I don't know of anyone that deal with both and they insinuate(on the show) that the girls need in-facility treatments. I have been in those before and they didn't know what to do with my insulin pump. So I controlled it. At one point, they did try to switch me from the pump back to insulin shots while in treatment, Unfortunatley, most diabetics are more educated on their disease than the nursing staff and you can manipulate them easily...they just aren't educated enough to know. The nurses in those places don't watch that closely...it seems no one knows enough about these disorders...even though it has been common for over 15 years.

This is just one more reason why I told Dr. Phil that therapists/residential facilities aren't prepared for this.  (It was edited out).   People don't understand diabetes, and then you add the eating disorder on top of it, they deal with the ed, but not the diabetes.  You are correct, our Endocrinologist said they have known about this disorder for many years.  They have kept it "Hushed' because they don't want other diabetes to learn about this, but it's out there, at diabetic camps, on chat lines, etc.  I only wish that they would have pulled me aside from the very minute Kaytee was diagnosed and told me about this, so I could have caught it sooner and gotten her help.  Instead I was in the dark.

 
January 12, 2008, 6:40 pm CST

MOther of Kaytee

Quote From: cfaug53

as a nurse  i feel if someone can turn the teenager around she might have a fighting chance- the older you get with high glucose levels you  destroy your organs, circulation, kidneys, eyesight .  the young woman may have done too  much damage already and she really wants the help.  the teenager looked like britney spears caught  in some act.  just thought it was damn cute.  see how she feels when she is hooked to a dialysis machine much of the day and 3 x a week or she can't to to drive.  they are throwing there body into a state of destruction.  the atkins diet does this as all you eat is meat- and then you have to buy ketosticks to make sure you are not into problems with your kidneys, that is also why they tell you to drink as much water as you can on this diet- it can also destroy the kidneys by ketones.    i didn't know it existed either but it shows how intelligent our kids are today and also how stupid without guidance. 
I have guided Kaytee.  We have been to numerous doctors, we have been to therapist, dieticians, had meal plans, talked about consequences, but to a 15 year old who thinks she is invincible, it doesn't matter.  She thinks it won't happen to her.  She has had numerous people talk to her about blind friends, amputations, kdiney failure, and it doesn't matter to her, the fear of being over weight, as crazy as it sounds is more important, more powerful for her.  Again, this is a disorder, it will take time, but we are just not doing nothing. 
 
January 12, 2008, 6:43 pm CST

mother of Kaytee

Quote From: btrflybeetle

Just because it is easy for one person, does not make it easy for the next. For these girls, it seems this is more of a control issue and an eating disorder. I have also had juvenile diabetes for over 10 years. This was a trend that I found out about through the best diabetic camp in Texas when I was 17 and I actually did this horrible trend for about a year. When I turned 18, my doctors put me on an insulin pump shortly after my rapid weight loss and then I blew up and got up to about 250 pounds...at this point, I was only taking insulin to keep me alive...I didn't take the insulin to level my sugars for what I ate. I still struggle with this and have a LOT of problems with it. I'd like to get pregnant with my husband, but that requires getting my blood sugars under control. It isn't as easy as you believe. I'm very well educated about juvenile diabetes and want to be healthy, but I remember how it felt to be 250 pounds...I remember having trouble breathing when going up the stairs and having high blood pressure. I'd do anything not to be that heavy. And the Drs have no answers. They say you do as everyone else to lose weight...that you should excercise and diet...I worked with a personal trainer for over 6 months and didn't lose a pound..even when I ate properly! With some people, it is surviving...either you control blood sugars and be morbidly obese or you keep them a little high and do what you can. The doctors don't realize that juvenile diabetics have a hard time losing wieght...the metabolism just is not the same. I presented this to my doctor...I was very upset when he got onto me a few months ago for having a hemglobin of 9.0..I tried to explain to him my fear of going above 250 pounds..when I am at 230 now. The goal is to get pregnant. If I control my sugars correctly, by the time I am pregnant, I will most likely be over 300 pounds..already being high risk, why would I do that? Doctors don't listen and what is worse, they have no idea about this diabulemia. For some, it is not just an eating disorder...there are no answers for juvenile diabetics...the professionals pretend to have answers and have nothing to help you....

Any responses are welcome...am I the only one having trouble with this issue?

This is an issue Kaytee has.  She diets, excercises, and does not lose weight.   Also, in her case, the more she tries to diet and excercise, the more the eating disorder kicks in and she over excercises, and restricts, she goes from one extreme to the next.    You are correct, so far I have not found a doctor that has the answers. 
 
January 12, 2008, 6:52 pm CST

Mother of Kaytee

Quote From: hammees

I HOPE YOU GET THE HELP YOU DESPERATELY NEED FOR YOUR DAUGHTER BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.  PLEASE READ MY MESSAGE ABOUT MY SISTER FROM YESTERDAY. THAT WAS HER STORY AND NOW MINE TO LIVE WITHOUT HER.  MY SISTER WAS SO TIRED OF BEING SICK THAT SHE DECIDED SHE WAS GOING TO LIVE HER LIFE THE WAY SHE WANTED.  SOME FAMILY MEMBERS BELIEVE THAT SHE NEW SHE WASNT GOING TO BE WITH US MUCH LONGER AND THAT IS WHY SHE GAVE UP THE FIGHT.  I AM STILL OUT ON THAT.  HER SUDDEN DEATH WAS SO SUDDEN FOR US THAT WE WERE LEFT WITH ALOT OF QUESTIONS.  YEARS OF ER VISITS AND STAYS IN THE HOSPITAL WERE VERY FRUSTRATING BECAUSE AT TIMES WE THOUGHT SHE COULD BE CONTRIBUTING TO HER SICKNESS.  A LIGHT BULB WENT OFF FOR ME WHEN WATCHING THE SHOW, AND I WAS GOING TO CHANGE THE STATION BECAUSE I WASNT INTERESTED IN WATCHING THE IDIOTS MATTRESS SURFING. BUT I WATCHED AND MAYBE IT WAS A MESSAGE FROM MY SISTER BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON THINGS STARTING FALLING INTO PLACE FOR ME AND MAKING SENSE FROM MY SISTER'S STAND POINT. NOT THAT I AGREE. 

MY SUGGESTION TO YOU IS LET YOUR DAUGHTER READ MY STORY ABOUT MY 22 YEAR OLD SISTER AND IF YOU WANT MORE INFORMATION I WILL BE GLAD TO HELP IN ANYWAY TO POSSIBLY SAVE YOUR DAUGHTER'S LIFE.  PLEASE TAKE CARE!!

I would take your daughter to her Endocrinologists as soon as possible.  Have them check her A1C.  If is high, then my guess is that she is not taking her insulin.  Kaytee is not super thin right now, because I can get her Lantus in her.  She refuses to take her Novolog.  She knows without the Lantus, she would definately go into DKA, so she'll take that, but since we are getting 32 units of that in her, it keeps her from really losing the weight.  However, she doesn't gain it since she's not taking her Novolog.  Her doctor's were surprised that she figured it out so soon!!  Lucky us!  Before I was told what Kaytee was doing, Kaytee had gotten down to 108 pounds in a matter of about 2 weeks.  If it is determined that she isn't taking her insulin, seek help.....anything is better than nothing.  I cannot tell you a magic place to go.  If someone has one, I haven't found it.  I have found that many eating disorder facilities either do not know of diabulimia or have just recently heard of it.  I only know of two that have dealt with it, and neither one of them will take you if you are under 18.  I'm still seeking help.  Just doing what I can to get by to keep her from getting worse.
 
January 12, 2008, 6:55 pm CST

Mother of Kaytee

Quote From: l8bloomer

The Diabetic 16 year-old who refuses to take her insulin BROKE MY HEART.  I've read a few posts where people are wondering where the Mother is, but I felt the Mother was doing everything in her power to help her daughter.  Taking her to therapy didn't help, outpatient rehab didn't help and the only other option left for her was to SELL HER HOUSE to pay the lofty $40k fee for inpatient help  (segue - doesn't Dr. Phil usually help with this kind of stuff?  Why didn't he offer any "resources" for these girls?).  I thought it was callous, the way Dr. Phil told the Mother to do "whatever it took" and there were "no guarantees" her daughter would get better.  What kind of cockamamie advice was THAT?!  So she is supposed to lose her house and everything else JUST IN CASE her daughter chooses to get better?  Was he NOT sitting on the same stage?  The daughter has ZERO hope, ZERO motivation to get better and ZERO effort would be made on her part no matter WHERE she goes.  She needs help emotionally and mentally before she's going to be able to tackle this one and if she can't help herself - her Mother has NO SHOT.
Thank you.
 
January 12, 2008, 7:11 pm CST

Mother of Kaytee

Quote From: clshaud

i have a daughter who is 16 and was dxd at 7 with diabetes. she also does not take her insulin,

and do blood checks like she should. her nurse tells me that this is VERY common for teenagers.

Juvinile Diabetes is so hard on every aspect of these kids lives.

its like riding a roller coaster and walking a tight rope everyday.

maybe dr phil will have a show with some education for the public on what these kids go through

everyday. with no hope that tomorrow , next week , or next year wil be better.

INSULIN IS NOT A CURE!! we need to find a cure for these kids.

Amen!!
 
January 12, 2008, 7:15 pm CST

Mother of Kayee

Quote From: tmgreen

Oh Shelly - i was shocked when I turned on Dr Phil today and saw you and Kaytee on the screen.  It's Tracy M. from WHS.  I'm so sorry for what you have been going through in your family - it breaks my heart and I can't imagine the pain you are suffering watching your beautiful daughter slowly killing herself.  My email address hasn't changed!  The one I have for you is wrong.  Please please email me if you want a friend to lean on!  I will be there for you and do whatever I can.  I'm so sorry for you and g and C!  You are in my prayers!

 

Kaytee, i pray that Dr Phil got through to you today.  He is a wonderful teacher and he can help you if you will let him.

Thanks Tracy!!! 
 
January 13, 2008, 5:10 pm CST

Message from Kaytee's Mom about Diabulimia

Sorry this has taken so long, I have been having computer problems, and just got it working yesterday.  Here is some things I have been wanting to say...........

 

I’m Michelle, Kaytee’s Mom. I would like to tell you all more about this “disorder” since many of you do not understand what Diabulimia is. First of all this is not a term that the medical profession came up with, they refer to it as an “other eating disorder.“ It was the media that came up with the term.

My entire purpose of coming onto the Dr. Phil show was wanting to let other parents know that this disorder does exist and what to look for so that you can be aware of the situation and can maybe intervene sooner, to have Kaytee meet other Diabulimics so that she can communicate with someone that is going through what she is going through, and to look for someone that could help her because nothing we seem to try is helping. I was so in the dark. I had no clue that this was being done or could be done. I didn’t want anyone else to have to go through this.

Kaytee initially wanted me involved in her regime. I would plan out her meals and let her know how much insulin to take. Then one day, when I went to give her her shot, she said she had already done it. I didn’t think much of it, other than she is feeling more comfortable with the diabetes. She started spending lots of time in her room. Again, I just thought it was a teenage thing. However, what I didn’t know was that she was binging at night after I would go to bed or after she would get home from school. She started to lose weight. I watched her and noticed that she was eating, but only smaller portions.-so I figured she was doing it the smart way. Then she started with major mood swings. One minute she’d be happy and laughing, the next, yelling and screaming. Where she used to be nice when I would ask her about her sugar levels, whether she’d taken her insulin, she would get mad that I was intruding-slamming her bedroom door. She started complaining that she didn’t feel well. She was weak, her face was drawn, shallow breathing, she got thrush, she had yeast infections, she got strep. I took her to the doctor every time I turned around. We had her in the ER twice because she was dehydrated from losing so much weight. After the second visit to the ER, her Endocrinologist called us in and that is when we discovered that Kaytee had not been taking any of her insulin. She had figured out that if she used her control solution (what she referred to as fake blood on the show) she could get a false reading. So when I was checking her meter thinking she was doing everything right and that her levels were good, she had me fooled.

Luckily my Endocrinologist have known about this “disorder” for many years. In fact, there are approximately 400,000 diabetics that suffer from this. However, most doctors/therapist do not know about this, many have never heard of it, or just have recently heard of it. Most have never had to deal with someone going through this. I was told by someone that an eating disorder is an eating disorder, whether you purge, restrict food, or restrict insulin, it’s all the same and the medical professionals can handle it. They know what to do. However, I don’t believe that they are prepared. I have talked to five separate therapist in the St. Louis area, only 2 of the five had heard of the disorder, none of them know a lot about diabetes. Of the three eating disorder facilities that I called, none of them had dealt with diabulimics, and of the 31 that Wanda called, only two had dealt with diabulimics. When I put Kaytee in intensive outpatient therapy (IOP), the facility would not let the girls leave the room for an hour after eating so they couldn’t purge, they would also check their meal plan to make sure the food they had complied, if not, they were given a health drink. However, for my daughter, they would not make sure that she checked her sugar or take her insulin. I was told they didn’t have time to make sure she did so and also that even if they made sure she did it at IOP, it wouldn’t make her do it when she wasn’t there. Well, wasn’t this her issue? Her form of eating disorder. Just because they didn’t let the purger purge and the anorexic restrict while at therapy, that doesn’t mean that they were not going to comply when they weren’t at therapy either. Another reason why I feel they aren’t ready, is because there are so many aspects to it, depression, the eating disorder, the diabetes, and most therapist/residential facilities don’t deal with all the issues, they deal with one or two, but not all three. Yet, another point…Wanda had been with her Endocrinologist for 17 years and he never knew what she was doing or questioned her why her sugars were so out of control. But once she came out and told him what she was doing, he dropped her and said that she was too much of a high risk!!! Why didn’t he recognize this before and do something in the 17 years he was her doctor????? A final thing that also comes to mind with Kaytee to show that therapist/residential may not be ready is when she had told her therapists that she had thrown up three times that week, but the therapist didn’t bother to tell me about it. The next day is when she went into diabetic keto acidosis (DKA) where the body has such a build up of toxins from the sugars being so high that your organs can start shutting down and you can go into a coma and you could also die!!!! We had to have her air lifted down to the hospital. Had the therapist told me we may have been able to prevent the entire incident. I’m not even sure that they knew that that was a symptom of the disease. But again, my point, I don’t think they are fully prepared. I’m not criticizing them, I’m just saying that it is a complex issue.

My daughter’s Endocrinologist told me that this “disorder” seems to occur in young girls, usually 12-16 that are diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. They didn’t tell me everything about it, but did say that they feel that some of the things they feel trigger the disorder is that you are a teenager and already have so much going on in your life, with hormone changes, going to high school, the need to fit in, wanting your independence, being like your friends, being able to run around and have fun, and then WHAM….you’re a diabetic, you’re being told you can’t eat this, you can’t do that, you have to test your sugars, you have to take your insulin. You can’t sit and pig out on pizza/candy/soda with your girlfriends on a Friday night, you have to go to the school nurse every day to check your sugars/take your insulin before you can go to lunch and eat, YOU ARE DIFFERENT THEN EVERYONE ELSE!!!! Hence the problems begin-Don’t‘ you remember being a teen? Then you discover by whatever means that if you stop taking your insulin, you lose weight, you can eat what you want, how much you want, and not gain wait. It’s so easy, and once you start, it is not easy to stop. Why should you. You’re young, and your invincible and nothing is going to happen to you, it may to them, but not you. Another thing I read was that one in three diabetics develop some kind of eating disorder. You are so regulated and focused on your diet, that food becomes such a focus, that it just happens.

Like many that suffer they feel they are the only ones that are going through this, and now that there is a name for this, many feel that there is hope and know that they are not the only ones going through this horrible ordeal. Wanda is searching for the help she needs, I am searching for the help my daughter needs. Someone mentioned that this was their choice to do this to themselves, but in reality it is not. It is something that takes a hold of your life and you can’t just wish it away. It is like being a drug addict, alcoholic, anorexic, or bulimic. It is something that is so powerful that you just can’t stop. It is not just about weight, it is about your self image, your self esteem, your mental state. It is much more than girls being selfish/reckless/obsessing about weight.

In my daughter’s case, she also suffers from depression, so that combined with the diabetes and the disorder, it is a very difficult ordeal. Once I figured out that she was manipulating her meter to get a false read so I would think she was taking her insulin, I immediately worked with the doctors at Children’s Hospital to help get her on track. I have written letters and made numerous phone calls to my insurance company to try and get them to cover a residential facility, I have had her to her pediatrician, endocrinologist, adolescent medicine doctor, dieticians, social workers, therapist, and put her into Intensive Outpatient Therapy (six days a week/3 hours a day), which as you know from the show didn’t work out. I have prayed, I have yelled/screamed, cried, been the bad mother and taken everything away, been the good mother and given her things, I have spent almost $6,000 in copays, put over 6,000 miles on my car, I have missed countless days of work, had to leave early, come in late, make up time, in order to get Kaytee the care she needed. I don’t think that I have been an inactive participant in this process, like led to believe. One other thing that really upset me was when I was told that I need to do what I got to do to get her the help, at the risk of losing my house, and that nothing is guaranteed in life, yeah, I know that nothing is guaranteed in life, however, I was taking all the steps I could think of first before we go to the extreme. It is not just my daughter, I have a son, and it’s not fair to him to give up everything we’ve worked so hard for. We don’t live in extreme, we’ve live within our means, and the thought of going broke, for something that isn’t guaranteed is scary. It also affects Kaytee, how do you think she feels knowing that she would be the cause of us possibly losing our home, we are a family and have to do what is best for us as a whole, but I will do what it takes.

If I can say anything, it’s do not judge what you don’t understand. If you have a child with diabetes, know that this exists, and that a child will do whatever it takes to keep this their secret. If you notice any symptoms, take them to their doctor immediately and tell them your concerns. If they don’t know what it is, have them contact the St. Louis Endocrinology department and have them explain. If you want to talk about this, you can email me at Chiefkeeper@netzero.com. But only legitimate emails please.

 
January 18, 2008, 7:00 am CST

About Wanda...

I am the aunt of Wanda. First, let me tell you that she is a wonderful and loving mother, wife, niece, daughter, and friend. She really didn't think she could have children and more or less risk a lot to have them. She is a WONDERFUL mother! She takes time with her children, is very patient and very loving to them.  I had a friend that just died of alcoholism at the age of 55. The things people wrote about her are unbelievable...how she was everything any girl wanted to be, head cheerleader, homecoming queen, valedictorian, and beautiful. But she was self-destructive, just like Wanda has been. This kind of behavior is not chosen, it is definitely an addiction that is bigger than we can ever imagine. Wanda is on the right track, she is searching for help. She has admitted the problem which to me is a great hurdle in itself. She has the support and love of all of her family and friends. WE all love her so much and respect her courage. I'm not for sure if I could ever do what she has done in admitting her weaknesses. Probably most of you that have "judged" her in a negative way would never have the courage to do what she has done. And to Kaytee, If you can just stop now destroying your body, you too can marry and have two beautiful children like Wanda. And Wanda, if you stop destroying your body, you will have a beautiful niece (that would be YOU) like I have. We love you and are praying for you to have the strength to beat this. Maggie Riley and Trest need their mother now and for many years to come. I love you, Aunt Rhonda
 
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