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Topic : 01/07 Don't Be That Girl

Number of Replies: 370
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Created on : Friday, January 04, 2008, 02:06:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you still looking for Mr. Right? Are you a catch, but can’t figure out why you haven’t been swept off your feet yet? Do you find yourself wondering what you’re doing wrong? Maybe it’s because you’re that girl! Dr. Travis Stork dated 25 women all at once on the hit reality show, The Bachelor: Paris. He says because of the experience, he has a knack for distinguishing what’s endearing in women and what’s not. He used his dating expertise to write a book called, Don’t Be That Girl: A Guide to Finding the Confident, Rational Girl Within. He explains the eight types of women he’s encountered and passed by: The Agenda Girl, the Yes Girl, the Drama Queen Girl, the Bitter Girl, the Insecure Girl, the Desperate Girl, the Working Girl and the Lost Girl. Meet five women who wonder if they’re that girl. Katrina, Rebecca, Demetrice, Jennifer H. and Jennifer R. want to figure out what they’re doing wrong when it comes to finding love. Are you making the same mistakes? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 5, 2008, 2:06 pm CST

Dr Phil?

Are you obliged to have such an eggotestical man on your show because of chain mandates or impositions? I cannot believe you show men like this as an example or a present him, his million making book, as a tool for us.
What are you thinking in your own highly evolved, intelligent and sensible man mind?
Doctor Phil, to be swept up our feet is what we do to men when we take care of them and our own life... We elevate them... It is just words and it needs to be reciprocal.

Now, the rich man who gives a show and touches all these women, tempts them, fools them, tests them is evil himself.

What are you doing doctor Phil?

Where is Robyn?

Love

Seanice from Canada
 
January 5, 2008, 2:15 pm CST

That Girl

This topic seems to fit me to a tee...everyday thats all I hear is how good of a person I am, what a great partner I would make someone..but yet after 3 years of being separated(now divorced) I am still single and hating it...It seems all the men that I find are either married or in a relationship or they are liars or they are going through a separation and have to much on their plate..how can a 39yr old find love again???
 
January 5, 2008, 3:18 pm CST

Don't feel pressured...

Quote From: sportschick

This show seems to be RIGHT up my alley.  I am told daily what a catch I am yet I can't seem to let anyone IN though I have a good amount of male friends but still - I am single.  I want to find love but at the same time when people rub it in my face that they are in love I get cynical (so I am told).  I get asked all the time how am I not taken ... wouldn't I like to know?!?
 Don't feel pressured to get married or follow the lemmings. You will know when someone comes along who is your soul mate. I was always happy alone, even though I had lots of people around and a good social life. I am well educated with acceptable looks and everyone expected that I would marry early. But men didn't interest me precisely because they were so shallow and transparent in their desires. Then one day I met a man and while he was helping out in the kitchen I reaized suddenly that he was in my space and I didn't want to run away and be alone. That  was it; we knew that we were meant for each other because we could be in each other's company and we each felt as though we were alone. We were one! That was years ago and nothing has changed. Looing back, I know that I would rather not be with someone if they made me feel uncomfortable and want to run away to be alone.
 
January 5, 2008, 4:13 pm CST

i agree

well i think i founded MR RIGHT for me. but the only problem is that is locked up inprison. And be won't get out for like 3 more years.. and alot fo things are in my mind. im just realli confused. sometimes i think his MR RIGHT. but most of the time he makes me realli mad. i been  trough hell with him. i been since the first day he got sentence. and i haven't left his side. i love him to much. i was with him way before he got locked up. i just don't know what to do.. IS HE REALLI MR RIGHT FOR ME?
 
January 5, 2008, 6:02 pm CST

01/07 Don't Be That Girl

I am witty, intelligent, attractive, sensitive, giving, compassionate, affectionate, I have it all together.  You would think that is what men would want, but as I have been back on the dating scene for almost a year I am discovering that is not what they want. I am just not sure what they do want.

single in alabama

 
January 5, 2008, 6:39 pm CST

I think I'm all of them!

Well, I'm at least 5 out of 8: The Agenda Girl, the Yes Girl, the Drama Queen Girl, the Bitter Girl, the Insecure Girl, the Desperate Girl, the Working Girl and the Lost Girl. Nah! I've been at least one of the 8 in every relationship I've had. And I'm 68, been married twice, paired for a few years at a time several times, and I have eventually driven men nuts, finally bored them silly, or just lost the irresistibility I had in the beginning by a variety of yucky behaviors. And still people say to me: how can you be single? You are intelligent, articulate, funny, warm, caring, a good listener, an interesting and enjoyable companion; great taste in clothes; a good cook, etc. etc etc. It's never too late. The new year is a great time to start. I plan to pay attention and buy the book - or just so this author can't be accused of caring only about selling books, I'll borrow it from the library.
 
January 5, 2008, 6:53 pm CST

I think Dr. Stork'e experience is perfect for his analysis

Regardless of why he or the women he met would be on a show like Bachelor, it gave him an opportunity to make comparisons and draw conclusions about the people he is dating and his own reactions to them that may not be there when he is experiencing the same things over time. It's like a lab experiment - concentrate on the relevant variables, and don't get distracted by things that are not relevant. Fortunately, this fellow is intelligent and really wants to help us figure out what's not working for us. Then it's up to us to decide whether we want to acknowledge and then change it.
 
January 5, 2008, 7:15 pm CST

Dr. Phil is simply offering us something that may help

What I like best about  Dr. Phil is that his "experts" don't pound the table. They just say,"this is what I see, and this may work better." I am a New York divorce lawyer, and daily I talk with people who want ideas about what they may be dong wrong, and what may work better. Labeling and judgment are an unfortunate fact of life. But some amount of generalizing is necessary. if we can't gather a set of human traits and give them a name and discuss what may work badly for them or may work well,  there could be no field of psychology - or a number of others. I hope Dr. Stork offers something of value to me, and that I can pass along to my divorce clients.
 
January 5, 2008, 8:02 pm CST

Don't be that girl

Quote From: whitakergirl

  Dear Dr. Phil,

 I'm perhaps one of your biggest fans.  Mainly because I like your no bull tactics.   Here's a subject that should be touched on more often.  Simply because from childhood up women live in a dream world.  Thinking that love just falls out of the sky.  Sadly most never know the real meaning of LOVE, therefore, have no idea of what they're looking for in their youth.  Even worse   through their life.  How sad it is that women feel that these guys will bring them great happiness and fall for all their lies, etc.  Someone should educate these women from youth up not to believe everything they hear from a guy regardless of his statue.   If women would spend more time  trying to get their own head together, keep their pants on and make it a firm resolution not to settle for anything less than what they want instead of trying to find Mr. Right then we would have a much better society today.  Home is where the heart is.  Sadly, most never know what home nor love really is.   I'd love to tell everyone, follow the golden rules and your life would be much happier.   I know because I've been there done that and can assure one and all. It's NOT worth the consequences.  If you don't find TRUE love, then be happy alone.   Do what you like to do and you might just find the real Mr. Right doing the same thing.  Where it be a walk in the park, a visit to library, etc.  NEVER stay at home hoping for the phone to ring from someone who cares only about self.   Time slips away all too fast and life will pass you by in an instant.  Therefore I encourage one and all to follow the golden rule and see the blessings in return.    No more agony of what if.  Once you realize what you'd really like in a mate.   Just wait..   IF it's meant to be.  He will appear when least expected.   If not.. still you can be content with yourself and able to sleep at night.

Best wishes to all..

Nancy Whitaker

Its not true what he is saying let alone thinking dare i to say..

There are sisters that feel that what you are saying is true. It happened to me the person whom i have been with for 20 years. We met, neither one of us were looking or even thinking more than a coffee date or someone to go to the movies with. We fell in love over time and I thank-god every day for bringing him into my life.My boyfriend before him was a coke addict angry,selfish person. I stayed with him for 3 years and my life was hell as was my 5 year old daughter at the time. My husband has earned the title of father . So listen to what she said it is true love does happen for a reason.

merry from Canada

 
January 5, 2008, 8:59 pm CST

Not Mr. Right for anyone...

Quote From: carolina4

well i think i founded MR RIGHT for me. but the only problem is that is locked up inprison. And be won't get out for like 3 more years.. and alot fo things are in my mind. im just realli confused. sometimes i think his MR RIGHT. but most of the time he makes me realli mad. i been  trough hell with him. i been since the first day he got sentence. and i haven't left his side. i love him to much. i was with him way before he got locked up. i just don't know what to do.. IS HE REALLI MR RIGHT FOR ME?

Sweetie, don't sell yourself so short.  If the dude is locked up, what real RIGHT future can he have.  O.K.  lets cut the brother a break, tell us what he is doing in there to improve his life when he comes out.  Some inmates earn college credits, others find and dedicate themselves to the lord.  What has this brother done good lately, and maybe that will give you your answer, if he is or is NOT Mr. Right. 

 

See to many girls settle for Mr. Almost Right, and again, some have such high expectations that they ahve no idea when Mr. Right is stearing them in the face.  So my advice, keep it real, and listen to your heart but validate yourchoice with your head.  Tall order I know, but a life is too short to spend it with someone who truly does not deserve you giving him the time of day.   If that is the case for this brother, that is.

 
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