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Topic : 01/07 Don't Be That Girl

Number of Replies: 370
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Created on : Friday, January 04, 2008, 02:06:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you still looking for Mr. Right? Are you a catch, but can’t figure out why you haven’t been swept off your feet yet? Do you find yourself wondering what you’re doing wrong? Maybe it’s because you’re that girl! Dr. Travis Stork dated 25 women all at once on the hit reality show, The Bachelor: Paris. He says because of the experience, he has a knack for distinguishing what’s endearing in women and what’s not. He used his dating expertise to write a book called, Don’t Be That Girl: A Guide to Finding the Confident, Rational Girl Within. He explains the eight types of women he’s encountered and passed by: The Agenda Girl, the Yes Girl, the Drama Queen Girl, the Bitter Girl, the Insecure Girl, the Desperate Girl, the Working Girl and the Lost Girl. Meet five women who wonder if they’re that girl. Katrina, Rebecca, Demetrice, Jennifer H. and Jennifer R. want to figure out what they’re doing wrong when it comes to finding love. Are you making the same mistakes? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 6, 2008, 8:43 pm CST

I agree!!

Quote From: canada_here

I could name a few...

How about the "Mama's boy"? Many women have met several of them during their dating lives.

Then there's "Peter Pan" (the little boy who reufses to grow up). We all know some of these, too.

And of course there's always "the Playboy". We are all familiar with his needs.

 

I think it's important to note that women aren't the only ones who can be labelled. Maybe it's more appropriate to ask what function these labels serve, outside of a clincial context.

How do these descriptons help the people who are being labelled, to have richer, fuller lives?

 

Simply put: they don't.

 

Perhaps we ought to be asking what the individual assigning the label is getting out of it. There has to be a payoff in it for someone because, like stereotypes, labeling persists.

 

Perhaps those who are quick to judge ought to examine their need to do so BEFORE pointing a finger at others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well said my fellow Canadian, I completely agree with you.

 

GO SENS GO!!

 
January 7, 2008, 4:06 am CST

Hey carolina4!

Quote From: carolina4

well i think i founded MR RIGHT for me. but the only problem is that is locked up inprison. And be won't get out for like 3 more years.. and alot fo things are in my mind. im just realli confused. sometimes i think his MR RIGHT. but most of the time he makes me realli mad. i been  trough hell with him. i been since the first day he got sentence. and i haven't left his side. i love him to much. i was with him way before he got locked up. i just don't know what to do.. IS HE REALLI MR RIGHT FOR ME?
Hi there! I'm sure that's a lot more to your story. But, in reading what you've told us, it doesn't sound like a very promising situation. "most of the time he makes me really mad"-what is it about him that makes you really mad? How else does he make you feel? The times you DO think he's MR RIGHT, what do you base that on? This enforced seperation may be a good opportunity for you to have a chance to clear your head and think things out. Good luck.
 
January 7, 2008, 4:15 am CST

Another thing....

Quote From: derevna33

    He is locked up.  It isn't challenging to have a real relationship with him.  She gets to live in a happy la-la land.She doesn't have to deal with wondering what he does with his time away from her.  She knows he follows a routine. 
Whatever past history they may have, might kind of fade while he's in jail. Instead of remembering what thier relationship has been, she may create a new one,based on how he's treating her now. I'm sure that he treats her differently now that he's in a controlled environment.
 
January 7, 2008, 7:00 am CST

Today show

I am home sick today...this is too funny.  I am happily married, thank goodness.  I would hate to be out dating in todays world.  I didn't realize it was so hard.  I've been out of that scene for 25 years.  I do see to a point how women can come across.  Ladies...please don't look for a man in a bar!  There has to be a better place.  I do think the young doctor is a little full of himself. 
 
January 7, 2008, 7:21 am CST

My sister-in-law

 Dr. Stork's book is perfect for my sister-in-law.  She is 62 and just got back into the dating arena. Her only problem is that she is very negitive and the ol'poor pitty me type.  This comes across with anyone she meets including women friends.  There are times (most all the time) mountains are made out of mole hills.  It's really hard to be around her.  I know exactially what to get her for an anytime gift.
 
January 7, 2008, 7:23 am CST

you're kidding?

i personally don't believe who i want exists.
 
January 7, 2008, 7:55 am CST

Dr Stork

I am wondering how qualified Dr Stork really is to be talking about women and what "kind" of woman they are. He's SINGLE!!!!! I think better advice on the subject of women finding a perfect mate would come from someone who is already happily in a long-term relationship. And if he knows women so well, then he would be taken, right??
 
January 7, 2008, 8:30 am CST

Dr.-In-Love-With-Himself

I wouldn't give this "dr" the time of day.  Who CARES that he "actually" wrote a book.

 

I found his demeanor to be egotistical and demeaning to women.  Any man (or woman for that matter) who appears on that dumb Bachelor show is just desperate for their own little 15 minutes of fame.   In this case, the doctor wasn't satisfied with one season highlighting his wonderfulness, he went on to write a sappy self-help book and attracted the good Dr. Phil to dedicate a show to his "wisdom" about GIRLS.

 

It will be interesting to see if he sells more books than he gave away to the audience.  I will not buy one, that is for sure.

 
January 7, 2008, 9:03 am CST

why don't men know what we're thinking

I listened to the ER doc on your show this morning tell women that he knows what they're thinking as far as having an agenda, etc. 

 

My question is, why is it that after we're (women) are with a man, they can no longer tell what we're thinking?  Men are always saying, I can't read your mind; tell me what you want/need.  I guess you all lose that ability once you are in a relationship. 

 

Ha Ha

 

 
January 7, 2008, 9:03 am CST

He's Not Mr. Right

Quote From: carolina4

well i think i founded MR RIGHT for me. but the only problem is that is locked up inprison. And be won't get out for like 3 more years.. and alot fo things are in my mind. im just realli confused. sometimes i think his MR RIGHT. but most of the time he makes me realli mad. i been  trough hell with him. i been since the first day he got sentence. and i haven't left his side. i love him to much. i was with him way before he got locked up. i just don't know what to do.. IS HE REALLI MR RIGHT FOR ME?

No one in prison is Mr. Right.  Especially someone who makes you mad most of the time and who's taken you through hell.  He might become Mr. Right, but only if he does some work on himself.  And he needs to prove that he's learned how to be Mr. Right (staying out of prison, getting his life together, doing right).  That won't happen quickly - it will take a few years after he get out.  Until he has a new track record, don't invest in him, and don't put your life on hold for him.   Life your life and be open to other possibilities.

 
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