Message Boards

Topic : 01/07 Don't Be That Girl

Number of Replies: 370
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 04, 2008, 02:06:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you still looking for Mr. Right? Are you a catch, but can’t figure out why you haven’t been swept off your feet yet? Do you find yourself wondering what you’re doing wrong? Maybe it’s because you’re that girl! Dr. Travis Stork dated 25 women all at once on the hit reality show, The Bachelor: Paris. He says because of the experience, he has a knack for distinguishing what’s endearing in women and what’s not. He used his dating expertise to write a book called, Don’t Be That Girl: A Guide to Finding the Confident, Rational Girl Within. He explains the eight types of women he’s encountered and passed by: The Agenda Girl, the Yes Girl, the Drama Queen Girl, the Bitter Girl, the Insecure Girl, the Desperate Girl, the Working Girl and the Lost Girl. Meet five women who wonder if they’re that girl. Katrina, Rebecca, Demetrice, Jennifer H. and Jennifer R. want to figure out what they’re doing wrong when it comes to finding love. Are you making the same mistakes? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 7, 2008, 9:44 am CST

Women need to be at peace with themselves

There has always been a lot of talk, and a lot of books written, about the difficulty of relating to the opposite sex.  This guy's book is just the latest, and I don't really have any problem with him or his book.  But I do think that he is right about one thing.  Women (and men, too, but we were talking about women here) need to look at themselves if they want to find a satisfying relationship.  We spend a lot of time grasping at unsuitable men, obsessing over the qualities of various men, wondering about what men are thinking, complaining about what is wrong with men, creating lists of qualitites that men should have, and in general trying to make men responsible for our happiness.  We focus entirely on the men, and never on ourselves (unless of course we are being overly critical of our physical appearance).  We need to fix ourselves, and find peace within ourselves, before we can hope to have a satisfying relationship with a partner.  (Does the phrase "limit the emotional baggage to carry-on" resonate at all?)

 

You can't share your life if you don't have a life.  And no man wants to the responsibility of being the sole source of fulfillment for you (talk about pressure!).  Men want to share their lives with women who have something to offer.   So build your life as best you can, find more than one way to bring meaning to your life (career? volunteering? hobbies?  athletics?) and be open to the possibilities that present themselves.  And you need to accept the fact that you might not find what you want.  Not everyone gets everything they want in life.  But if you are happy with yourself,  you have a good solid base on which to live your life, and a much better chance of finding someone who will want to be part of it.  At least that has been my experience.

 
January 7, 2008, 10:24 am CST

What's Left??

He explains the eight types of women he’s encountered and passed by: The Agenda Girl, the Yes Girl, the Drama Queen Girl, the Bitter Girl, the Insecure Girl, the Desperate Girl, the Working Girl and the Lost Girl.

 

Can we say......controlling??? Don't be insecure, but don't work!! Don't be a yes girl, but don't be desperate!! Some of these things go together, and not in a pretty way.  It sounds like this spoiled brat has just listed all of the negative stereotypes that he has attracted because of his equally negative personality.

 

In other words, If this yes man with his agenda would stop all his drama and stop being so bitter, maybe he could get rid of some of his insecurity and wouldn't be so desperate.  Maybe then he could get more satisfaction from  his job, and wouldn't feel so lost!!

 

 

 
January 7, 2008, 10:25 am CST

yeah.....

Quote From: dansfae

I need someone to explain to me how this show is not some form of pimping.    The audience is led to believe some form of sex happens.

How is this guy not just an extreme egotist?

seriously!!!!!!
 
January 7, 2008, 12:08 pm CST

Are men stupid?

I have some questions for Dr. "That Girl" or Dr. Phil. 

I have been told by many men that if a woman is interested in getting to know them, you almost  have to hit them over the head because they usually don't have a clue.  But if we do that, are we considered desperate, or too forward and scare them off? I don't get it. 

 

Also, if we are self reliant, confident, own a home, have a good job, have an opinion and speak our minds honestly, we seem to scare the pants off men.  I am very confused.

 

I also was somewhat disapointed in the guy that asked out one of your women guests.  Of course he asked out the slim, hotest one.   When she was introduced she was known as, and praised for loosing 100 lbs.  Did anyone else notice the girl next  to her? And the look on her face? It drained and she looked down with embarrasement.  I felt so sorry for her. I wish the guy would have asked her out.

 

 Dr. "That Girl"  never once mentioned how men seem to only want to go for the hard bodies.  They think visually and very rearly get past the looks, to know the real person.  Granted not all men are to be steriotyped like this but many  and most are.  Weight is a huge issue as to why many women don't get dates.  It seemed like this topic was the elephant in the room during this show.

 

I love Dr. Phil and respect him but I think in this particular show he missed some important things about single men and single women trying to connect.

 
January 7, 2008, 12:25 pm CST

01/07 Don't Be That Girl

Quote From: carolina4

well i think i founded MR RIGHT for me. but the only problem is that is locked up inprison. And be won't get out for like 3 more years.. and alot fo things are in my mind. im just realli confused. sometimes i think his MR RIGHT. but most of the time he makes me realli mad. i been  trough hell with him. i been since the first day he got sentence. and i haven't left his side. i love him to much. i was with him way before he got locked up. i just don't know what to do.. IS HE REALLI MR RIGHT FOR ME?
sweetheart........if your boyfriend is locked up in  jail, you don't need Mr. Right..........you need a good dose of self esteem and self worth...............is that ALL you think you are worth?  a man in jail?

Good grief
 
January 7, 2008, 12:35 pm CST

THANK YOU!!

Quote From: skygoddess1

I have some questions for Dr. "That Girl" or Dr. Phil. 

I have been told by many men that if a woman is interested in getting to know them, you almost  have to hit them over the head because they usually don't have a clue.  But if we do that, are we considered desperate, or too forward and scare them off? I don't get it. 

 

Also, if we are self reliant, confident, own a home, have a good job, have an opinion and speak our minds honestly, we seem to scare the pants off men.  I am very confused.

 

I also was somewhat disapointed in the guy that asked out one of your women guests.  Of course he asked out the slim, hotest one.   When she was introduced she was known as, and praised for loosing 100 lbs.  Did anyone else notice the girl next  to her? And the look on her face? It drained and she looked down with embarrasement.  I felt so sorry for her. I wish the guy would have asked her out.

 

 Dr. "That Girl"  never once mentioned how men seem to only want to go for the hard bodies.  They think visually and very rearly get past the looks, to know the real person.  Granted not all men are to be steriotyped like this but many  and most are.  Weight is a huge issue as to why many women don't get dates.  It seemed like this topic was the elephant in the room during this show.

 

I love Dr. Phil and respect him but I think in this particular show he missed some important things about single men and single women trying to connect.

     Thank you!!  If we're spineless, we get walked on and they dont want anything to do with us, understandibly.

BUT when we are assertive, successful, indepedent, in control, self relient, and all those wonderful positive qualities that guys claim to want, we get dumped because their fragile egos can't handle it OR they hate themselves so much that they treat us like crap to make themselves feel better.

I give up.  I'm better off single.......I dont need my self esteem chipped away at every time I attempt to connect with a man.  Not worth it.
 
January 7, 2008, 12:44 pm CST

Don't be that girl

I am that girl/girls and will admit it. Also know what made me that girl. I believe that it is a series or events that make you that girl and that alot of guys are the cause of most of it. I also believe that it takes the girl to change that about herself. I hope that I can change. I hope that I can find that mr. right or almost right soon. I am 30 and sick of being lonely. I am also sick of the club scenes and now I have a great job and still in school so really don't have time to go to the club or even find a guy. Need help if anyone know where a single 30 year old could go to find a good man without going to the bar. I must just be old fashion but I don't think that finding a man at a club or bar is a good thing. But that is just me. Please I will take all advise.
 
January 7, 2008, 12:45 pm CST

Just a girl

I'm 60. I've been single since I was 23. My husband died when he was 26. I raised two kids, and worked on who I am. I am comfortable with me, but I ache for a relationship. I'm ever optimistic, but I must admit lately I am less than entusiasticaly looking. Men are "that Man" too. I've met men with agendas, men who ask pointed 20 questions, shallow men, rude men, desperate men, and more. I've loved them all - I just don't want any of those guys full time in my life. I didn't plan on looking for 37 years, I always thought I'd have lots of time to get serious. My motto these days is I'd rather be alone than in a bad relationship. It doesn't keep me warm at night, but at least I'm somewhat happy.
 
January 7, 2008, 12:58 pm CST

Excuse me?

Ok, I understand what these guys are saying and I agree 100% but PLEASE lets do a show on the things men do to screw up a relationship.

I am so sick of women being fully responsible for how the relationship unfolds.  If we're too much of this or that, bye bye boyfriend.

But HE gets a free pass to do whatever he wants because he's a guy doing what guys do and boys will be boys.


Enough is enough.  I'm so over these guys making us women feel like we aren't quite good enough. I'm tired of the complexes they give us. I'm tired of my self esteem being chipped away at, never feeling like I'm good enough.

A now there is one more book written by a man to 'help' us wome to stop screwing up and to make us feel bad about ourselves.  Thanks a lot. Where's the balance? I wanna hear about all the crappy things men do!!

lets hear about 'THAT GUY'.


 
January 7, 2008, 1:05 pm CST

Ditch Him

Quote From: girlfromto

sweetheart........if your boyfriend is locked up in  jail, you don't need Mr. Right..........you need a good dose of self esteem and self worth...............is that ALL you think you are worth?  a man in jail?

Good grief

OMG,

 

What would Dr. Phil tell u?  Kick his %^& to the curb.

 

Pick yourself up,dust yourself off, and have a great deal more respect for u.

 

Praying for u.

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Next | Last