Topic : 01/08 Cyber Bullies

I just want to say how deeply sorry I am for the loss of your dear Megan, it truly is a tragedy... I watched the show and could clearly see the pain you and your husband are still in. I lost my mother to suicide 7 years ago and it is the worst possible pain. Although the circumstances that lead to Megan's death are just disgusting, from an adult being part of it to the whole fake my space thing just absolutely makes me sick to my stomach.. I am sure by now you know there will be so many people commenting on the show and some of the remarks I have read make me sick... Don't listen to any of them that are not any source of comfort or support for you and your family. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and I hope in time you all can get through this and some kind of justice will be served. Megan is a beautiful child and she is with her Heavenly Father and I am sure she is looking down and very proud that her parents are trying to get some laws passed so that no other child ever has to have this happen to them. Good luck to you and your family and just take one day at a time and the Lord will give you strength even when you feel you can't go on....

Wow! Isn't this a little harsh? No, not a little, this is ridiculous. You can blame a lot of people for what happened and the truth is that there may be multiple places where the blame lies. But saying the mother herself is responsible for the death by her actions is just cruel. First of all, Megan chose to take her own life; no one did it for her.

You can blame the mom for not being "supportive" all you want but I challenge anyone with children to tell me how they've been perfectly supportive with every issue that's ever bothered their child. If you tell me you've never said "buck up!" when your child has been hurt or never said "I told you so!" in some situation, than you're lying. We ALL say things like this from time to time. None of us are perfect or perfect parents. So don't dare to blame the mother just because hindsight shows she MIGHT have been able to prevent what happened by being psychic, not to mention perfect and unable to be frustrated or emotional herself. The mother has enough blame from herself, I'm sure, saying the exact same thing. And that's too bad, because it WASN'T her fault.

The mother clearly said and showed that she WAS involved with what was going on. She had read the emails with her daughter and WAS discussing them. That's more than most parents even know in these situations. Sadly most only discover what was even going on AFTER their child has taken some regrettable action. So she did right. She simply did not have any clue that her daughter was so disturbed that she was possible of taking things to the extreme that she did.

So in my book, the mother did better than 99% of the parents in these situations that I've read or heard about before because at least she communicated with her daughter and knew what was going on. Again, we can't be perfect, and we can't predict the future, especially when dealing with someone who evidently has mental issues we are not aware of or do not know the degree of.

This kind of thing has happened throughout history with teenagers, back before Romeo and Juliet. The message is clear though. Parents simply have to do the best they can. Know what their children are doing and stay involved and communicative with them. That's all you can do. Also, don't be hesitant to pull the plug on communications like a computer or even a cell phone if things are getting out of control. Yes, the child probably won't appreciate that either, but if you feel things are out of control enough to warrant it, wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?

Bottom line, stop attacking the parents for not being perfect and not knowing exactly what would happen. It's not fair and it makes you look like a fool as well. What happened is tragic enough without heaping extra blame in places where it doesn't belong. In the end, the buck stops with each individual. No matter what, we are all responsible for our OWN actions.

I had a cop call my fiance back in November and told me I was going to get arrested becuase of this girl name Samantha who refuses to leave me and my family alone, she is my fiance's ex girlfriend and she is married but still wants to be with Corey (my fiance), Reason being on why i was going to be arrested was because my sister was on Myspace and got a nasty email from calling my 16 year old sister fat and calling my son a bastard baby, so my mom called samantha and told her to grow up and to leave us alone especially my 16 year old sister, I never got back with the cop because i thought it was her petty friends again, then this morning i got a phone call back from the cop telling me i needed to come down to the state police station so he could interview me, I dont know what to do, this girl is crazy, she makes up conversations and prints them out and tries to use them against me, and she is good with photoshop so she can make them legitimate looking. I'm afraid im going to go to jail for something i dont start. I have blocked and deleted this girl several times and when i let my guard down there she is again.

She has posted I am glad your families house burnt down, too bad you all werent in it when it happened.

and calling me fat and ugly and telling me i needed to lose 60+ lbs and calling my son a bastard baby.

she even went so far as to have her husband come to my house and pretend like he needed to talk to me and he took pictures of the inside of my house and then go back and pick his wife up at the gas station up the road, and then they started making rude comments about how i looked and how my house looks.

I am just so tired of this drama she causes in my life and i want it to stop. Can i go to jail for being the victim in this whole thing? (not saying i havent said things back to her but she is always the one to start everything with me)

Cops don't call to have you come down to take a statement.....they come to you. You need to take all the evidence you have and go to your local police department to make a report (that way it's all documented). You can call your phone company and make a report about the fake call and see if there is anything they can do. If not, make sure they document it for you. Get a notebook or a calander and from this point on document everything she does and what you do about it. This way you will have documented evidence in case she makes a real threat against you or your family. Ignore this woman, but keep records and let her know you have done this. Keep in touch with the police department on this matter, if she goes to far they will have to step in and "Visit" her for a statement.

i agree we all have issues but that is rediculous and childish,she should still take responsibilty,and to me that was the final draw and as a proud parent of a 17 year old if she came to me with that problem i would of been up there,then done something about it,i did not like her commentt when her daughter came with the problem our children are young,immature,nieve,that is why we should keep monitering and keep talking to them about what gos on the internet.

Many thanks to Dr. Phil and his staff for airing this episode.  I was happy to see that something is being done about cyberbullyng, that can make a difference.  J

I’ve been affected by cyberbullying a number of times.  I found this very difficult to deal with, especially from an emotional perspective.  People are not always what they appear to be, when you communicate with them, on the net.  It’s easy to hide behind a name, not a direct person that’s in front of you who gives you all sorts of signals as to their real character.   The truth about the internet is that it is so illusive, it offers people the freedom to do many things, and sometimes things that are unhealthy and frankly abusive.   The net attracts many people who have a passive aggressive nature who resort to manipulative behavior.  They have difficulties just being themselves with people.  They need help, often professional help, such as psychiatric care.  It also happens that there are people who use the net who will not even benefit from psychiatric care, and that’s dangerous.  I’ve learned to speak up about it, within the different cybergroups and messageboards that I participate in.  I feel that it is something that needs to be addressed. 

While I still enjoy communicating with people from all walks of life, my communications have become guarded, and respectful, even when we feel people don’t deserve our respect, because I’ve become wise about it.  People have feelings and have the right to use the internet without fear.  I don’t want to scare anyone, however people need to be careful about what they reveal about themselves, not to mention their family and friends, when they are talking with strangers in cyberspace.  I learned this the hard way, and don’t want to see others’ hurt.

We can only protect ourselves so much.  The net is a beautiful thing, that’s for sure.  This type of communication is happening and it's big.  It’s a privilege to use, within reason.

Terry!  Why not just give up the Xbox?

Terry expressed some legitimate concerns over the fact that the internet threats could be real and that his family could be in danger.  I admire Terry for standing on his principles and his right to play internet games.  I agree that he shouldn't need to be subjected to cowardly racial slurs.  But.....I have to question Terry's judgement and I'm a little surprised that Dr. Phil didn't point this out.

If Terry feels these threats could be real and his family endangered, then is internet gaming worth that risk?  What if something did happen to his children or wife?  If it were me, I would have a hard time justifying trading the safety of my family for a few moments of online pleasure. I know you are standing on principles here but is it worth the fight?

I have taken it up with my lawyer and she called them and it is a real state police that called me and they dont want a statement they just want me to come down for something i have no idea about. but I wont be going without my lawyer.

I have a Confirmation class- Sixteen 16 year olds.  I try to teach them the impact that they have on people's lives with their words.  Words have the power to raise up and to tear down.  They will often say, of curse words- They are just words.  Then prayers are just words too, I answer them.  We have the ability to make heaven on earth for others or hell on earth for others.  Our words have such power.

Hello Everyone, I am a 25 year old male and I watch Dr. Phil almost every day.  I enjoy the shows that are about technology such as the virtual world episode and this cyber bully episode.  There is one thing I noticed about both shows though, but more specifically about this show.  There seems to be some misunderstanding or bias leaning a certain way.  I am going to address the third story with th eman that played Xbox360 online and got harassed.

The man said that he was harassed while playing his favorite game online.  He seemed seriously concerned about the harassment yet I never heard one thing about the tools Microsoft provides its customers to handle these types of situations.  The existence of these tools was ignored by both the man appearing on the show and the show itself.  I don't know if it was intentional or just bad research, but there are indeed very good tools for stopping harassment or not being harassed at all. 

If you are harassed you can easily block communications with anybody and you will no longer receive any messages from that person.  Also while in the game if you don't plug your headset in you can't even hear what people are saying you can also turn speech communications off altogether.  The final tool available to customers is the ability to appear as though you aren't online so no one has to know you are even playing.  I would also like to say that I have never been harassed on Xbox Live because I don't "trash talk" other people, and they have never sent me any bad messages or harassed me in any way.  I think that the guy that appeared on the show liked confrontation and may have been the initiator of the conflicts.

There is indeed a "report to Microsoft" tool that can be used if someone is severely breaking the rules, but there shouldn't be much need in most cases if the other tools are used.

As a final note I would like to point out that if people are too worried about being tracked down over Xbox Live that they don't use their real name or address when creating their account.  There is no reason you have to use your real name or address on the form it is just like registering for this message board.  I didn't have to include any accurate information to gain access to this message board, its all phony.

I wanted to post something about this story because I didn't feel that the show got it accurate at all.