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Topic : 01/08 Cyber Bullies

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Created on : Friday, January 04, 2008, 02:07:51 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You've heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” But what happens when someone posts malicious comments about you on the Internet? This trend, known as e-vengeance or cyber bullying, can have deadly consequences. Thirteen-year-old Megan Meier committed suicide after being taunted on MySpace by “Josh,” whom she believed to be a cute teenage boy. Unbeknownst to her parents, Ron and Tina, Josh’s profile was fake, which they believe was created by an adult neighbor to monitor Megan. Was this a case of freedom of speech, or harassment? A state senator proposing anti-cyber-bullying legislation and a First Amendment attorney weigh in. Then, Colorado councilwoman Sandy Tucker made national headlines when she posted a controversial joke online. When the mayor asked her to remove remarks he considered offensive, Sandy refused and then resigned. She doesn't feel the need to apologize and says people need to lighten up. Holly lives in Sandy's town, and joins the show via Web cam to tell the former councilwoman why the joke is no laughing matter. Plus, meet a man who says he's constantly taunted by racist slurs while playing Xbox Live. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 23, 2008, 7:18 pm CDT

01/08 Cyber Bullies

TLTR (too long too read)

 

I would like to firstly say that I just saw this story today (repeated on television in Sydney) and that I only saw the male playing football online.

 

Now I'm your average 19 year old who plays online war games constantly. These games get probably the most people raging than any other game that I have played and I have dished out and been the reciever of online bulling.

 

There are various measures you can do to avoid this.

One: Your online gaming name should be different to what you normally use. I use Nimbus2506 for forums, emails etc Whereas ingame I use something like Nimbot, MrScientist, RiceRice and various others. This way those people can't find me.

 

Two: There is normally a block/ignore feature in games to stop listening to what other people are saying. If there isn't, just ignore it. Those Keyboard Warriors just want attention. DONT GIVE THEM ANY! If you ignore them they'll go away, just keep "owning them"

 

Three: Contact the game manufactor not the console manufactor. If I'm getting bullied in a game called Call Of Duty 4 and there was no way I could have resolved either by changing my name, changing server, ignoring the person, reporting the person to the server administrator etc. I would contact the game manufactor called activision or the external business called Punkbuster. I would not contact Mircosoft as they would not have the strength to deal with it. Punkbuster or activision would for example as they own and regulate the game. :)

 

Thats all I have to say.

 
October 23, 2008, 7:48 pm CDT

Internet risk

This show Cyber Bullies was just shown here (Australia) so I guess we aren't getting the latest Dr Phil shows at time of airing. Anyway I mainly came in on this episode where the Afro-American gentleman was discussing abusive messages he was receiving whilst playing games on his XBox.

Of course this is totally unacceptable, but I'm guessing there isn't a lot you can about it unless there was some way of monitoring on-line activity during any given game. But given the nature of the international web I'd assume this isn't possible. Of course there is the age old answer, just turn it off, but the gentleman in question clearly enjoys his XBox games. I guess all one can say is that we know the Web attracts all kind of wacko's & worse and there isn't a lot we can do about them except ignore them the best we can and ensure they never get access to our personal details.

One question though, how would this abusive texter know his ethnic background or is that something that one has to declare before being granted permission to play, seems odd that it would be a requirement though. Anyway the man has a perfect right to give his ethnicity without being treated in this awful way. I'm Irish born & quite happy to say so but would not appreciate receiving an endless bombardment of Irish jokes. But sadly we don't live in a perfect world.
 
December 8, 2008, 10:28 am CST

100% Agreed.

Quote From: jphuff

Wow! Isn't this a little harsh? No, not a little, this is ridiculous. You can blame a lot of people for what happened and the truth is that there may be multiple places where the blame lies. But saying the mother herself is responsible for the death by her actions is just cruel. First of all, Megan chose to take her own life; no one did it for her.

You can blame the mom for not being "supportive" all you want but I challenge anyone with children to tell me how they've been perfectly supportive with every issue that's ever bothered their child. If you tell me you've never said "buck up!" when your child has been hurt or never said "I told you so!" in some situation, than you're lying. We ALL say things like this from time to time. None of us are perfect or perfect parents. So don't dare to blame the mother just because hindsight shows she MIGHT have been able to prevent what happened by being psychic, not to mention perfect and unable to be frustrated or emotional herself. The mother has enough blame from herself, I'm sure, saying the exact same thing. And that's too bad, because it WASN'T her fault.

The mother clearly said and showed that she WAS involved with what was going on. She had read the emails with her daughter and WAS discussing them. That's more than most parents even know in these situations. Sadly most only discover what was even going on AFTER their child has taken some regrettable action. So she did right. She simply did not have any clue that her daughter was so disturbed that she was possible of taking things to the extreme that she did.

So in my book, the mother did better than 99% of the parents in these situations that I've read or heard about before because at least she communicated with her daughter and knew what was going on. Again, we can't be perfect, and we can't predict the future, especially when dealing with someone who evidently has mental issues we are not aware of or do not know the degree of.

This kind of thing has happened throughout history with teenagers, back before Romeo and Juliet. The message is clear though. Parents simply have to do the best they can. Know what their children are doing and stay involved and communicative with them. That's all you can do. Also, don't be hesitant to pull the plug on communications like a computer or even a cell phone if things are getting out of control. Yes, the child probably won't appreciate that either, but if you feel things are out of control enough to warrant it, wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?

Bottom line, stop attacking the parents for not being perfect and not knowing exactly what would happen. It's not fair and it makes you look like a fool as well. What happened is tragic enough without heaping extra blame in places where it doesn't belong. In the end, the buck stops with each individual. No matter what, we are all responsible for our OWN actions.

Sorry that I'm very late on this, but I 100% agree with you from this statement. People have no idea what it’s like to lose a child due to the intense bullying that she had suffered, among what other incidents that children suffer due to others. And it certainly doesn’t come from their parents. Shame on those of you that are defending Lori’s actions.
 
While it’s also true that Lori didn’t cause Megan to commit suicide, she, Ashley Grills, & her daughter, Sarah, KNEW what kind of problems that Megan had mentially, & decided to act out on it, & had shown absolutely no remorse for what they did, & had started this whole charade in the first place. That's why people are blaming them, & that's why they have been receiving all the public humilation that they’re getting, & rightfully so. Plus don’t say that they aren't drama queens, because if they weren't, then they would have just marched their butts onto Tina's doorstep, & just simply asked her if Megan was bullying Sarah. Now how hard is that? It’s not. This whole tragedy could have all been avoided if they were to simply do that of what I said. Period. Now I dn't know if you'll agree with what I said, but this is what I think of this whole situation. I hope that those that are judging Tina doesn't have any kids.

 

Plus to all you Lori defenders out there, here are some links which Lori describes this situation as "funny", & a few ones which knew Lori or used to know her personally. 

 

http://stcharlesjournal.stltoday.com/articles/2008/06/19/news/sj2tn20080619-0620stc-drew0.ii1.txt http://drphil.com/messageboard/view.user/2207006/

http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/11/lori-drew-pla-2.html http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/05/15/internet.suicide.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories  

 

Still think that she's all goody-goody? Now think, is this the type of person that I want to be friends with? I sure don't. If you do, let me know so I can get her phone number for you. 

 

Please, people, open your eyes & wake up.

 
August 10, 2009, 2:37 pm CDT

01/08 Cyber Bullies

Dear Dr Phil,  I want to do some thing! It should be a law against bullies of all kinds and they should be accountable for there actions in person or on line. so what can i do... tks miller

 
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