Topic : 01/08 Cyber Bullies

Ah yes, just what we need.  Lets get government more involved in our lives.  Go ahead, pass a law to make cyber bullying a crime.  Lets create yet another bureaucratic department to enforce this law.  Spend thousands if not millions to investigate and bring these criminals to justice.

Could not time and money be better spent educating parents.  Bringing them to the same level of internet intelligence their child has. 

How is providing your child with a computer and internet access without supervision and education any different than providing that same child with an automobile without supervision and education?

I understand the need of the parents, who have suffered a tremendous loss, to receive a feeling that justice has been served.  An apology from those involved just does not cut it.

Spend time starting a foundation in your daughters name.  One focus of this foundation could be to educate parents.  Encourage parent envolvment with any and all internet time.  Teach our children that there are just some cruel people out there and what to do should one cross their path.

The issue of trust from parent to child should not be allowed to be an issue.  Plain and simple, children do not have enough life experience to handle an adult with a hurtful, hateful adjenda.  They need us. 

I felt compelled to write because of what I heard on today's show regarding cyberbullying.  I too enjoy playing online games and am a long-time subscriber to my favorite game - "fighterace" (hence my nicname).  Ketsujin Studios, owners of this game have it right.  As a part of the agreement you must sign to create your account, there is a Code of Conduct (CoC) you must read and acknowledge that you will be in compliance with it at all times.  The CoC outlines in very plain simple terms that you must in no way do anything that will be regarded as offensive to any other player, nor are you allowed to swear (text filter in place), call names or otherwise detract from the enjoyment of the game by other players.  Even name-calling in other languages than English is caught on many occassions and is dealt with accordingly.  Violators are instantly caught because they have "monitors" with an "@fa" within their in-game nicnames who constantly check what's going on.  And there's almost never a time when there isn't at least one "@fa" in a room to deal with potential situations, resolve problems, provide assistance, etc.

Furthermore, if they miss something, the chat log always shows exactly who said/did what, and when they did it.  The "offender" is warned the first time they break the rules.  The second time they break the rules they are instantly "kicked" from the game and have their accounts locked out for 24 hours.  If it is done a 3rd time, their membership is revolked without refund; real name and information is kept on record and they are barred from ever re-joining the game.

Can it be much simpler?  Microsoft needs to grow up and address the problems inherent with X-Box Live (cyberbullying/ name calling, etc.) and act accordingly.  Simply create a CoC that registrants must accept when creating their account and hold all people accountable for their actions and back this up with people monitoring the rooms on a constant basis.  After all, if they can make $45 million in 3 days, they can afford to hire a few dozen people to monitor what's happening in their game-rooms.

Thanks for listening.

I am sure that not all will agree with me. But turn it off. i play games on line i talk on line. and yes i have come across the haters looking to fight bully. walk away turn it off i do. And for you kids take them away from my space.  i never let my kids on the net without me there. i no all pass words. i daily check and remove friend adds that i no are Cyb freaks selling sex. keep it locked so not all can see it. as a mom u have to be in there world. and because we talk and have a open relationship he does not think i am invading his stuff. he nos why i check. i don't hide nothing from them i let the know there is freaks out there in this world and i make sure do what i can to help keep them safe. and if there was bullying going on  they would be shut down. most net bully's are weak people who are being bullied in life and they have nothing better in there life and if u feed into them and write back it feeds them. so do like u would do in the world walk away. and i believe that mother who played a part in the little girls death she should know karma will bite her back. 

  This cyber bullying over Xbox 360 is a problem this man decided to have. With the Xbox system you have the ability to shut off chat and to block users you do not wish to here from.  In referance to this man talking about his children accesing his xbox live account when he is not around is the same as accesing the internet parents are the only people responsible for monitoring there children online if the parent cant do this than internet access should not be in the house. This is a fine example of just another person trying to get somethig for free from microsoft. It is also real disheartening that Dr. Phil has allowed this man to create a problem where there is no problem. Bottom line if you dont want to hear what people have to say on Xbox live you dont have to listen.

Ronnie

As the mother of both a 10 & 12 year old I can absolutely, without any shadow of a doubt, agree that some form of legislation/punishment for cyber bullying should be in effect.  At the very least, punishment on a school/local law enforcement level should be in effect.

Online services, such as myspace, allow these kids to have the freedom of speech afforded adults in reality.  Speaking first hand on this matter, I can tell you both boys and girls alike can be BRUTAL on myspace.  And let me assure you girls are the worst. 

I agreed to let my 12 year old open a myspace account with the agreement that I would have full access to the account at all times and would regularly be monitoring the page's content.  (Understand that I am not blaming myspace here).  This is actually a great way for kids to keep in contact with friends/classmates after, say,  moving to another town or school, etc, WHEN USED PROPERLY!

I began to notice a difference in my daughter's behavior from the happy go lucky kid she was to this withdrawn sad girl.  Once I logged in to her account, it was only then that I realized that her so called "friends" where calling her names and encouraging other peers to join in as well and attempting to get several other friends to jump on the bandwagon and ignore her too.  These were kids who not only had been friends with my child for years, but in fact had spent several nights of the previous two weeks, sleeping at MY house!  I WAS FURIOUS!  I proceeded to copy and paste all of their horrible comments into a microsoft word file and prepared them, quite nicely I might say, for email to each of the girls parents.  I then phoned the parents and had them come to my home where the girls were put together to "face and fix" things.

My daughter hates that I "invade her privacy", but at the age of 12, she doesn't deserve any yet!  I may be considered over protective, but someone's got to protect them!  These kids don't have to look at the face  of the person they are bullying  or their physical reaction to the ugly comments, only making it easier to continue to inflict the pain of the bullying.

As ridiculous as it may sound to some people, this is a very serious matter amongst our preteen/teenage culture and it needs to be monitored by ALL parents.  I am very sorry for this family and what they are going through, but the painful truth of the matter is, is that until there is some sort of accountability enforced on these types of sites, none of these kids are safe from the evils of cyber bullying.