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Topic : 01/08 Cyber Bullies

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Created on : Friday, January 04, 2008, 02:07:51 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You've heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” But what happens when someone posts malicious comments about you on the Internet? This trend, known as e-vengeance or cyber bullying, can have deadly consequences. Thirteen-year-old Megan Meier committed suicide after being taunted on MySpace by “Josh,” whom she believed to be a cute teenage boy. Unbeknownst to her parents, Ron and Tina, Josh’s profile was fake, which they believe was created by an adult neighbor to monitor Megan. Was this a case of freedom of speech, or harassment? A state senator proposing anti-cyber-bullying legislation and a First Amendment attorney weigh in. Then, Colorado councilwoman Sandy Tucker made national headlines when she posted a controversial joke online. When the mayor asked her to remove remarks he considered offensive, Sandy refused and then resigned. She doesn't feel the need to apologize and says people need to lighten up. Holly lives in Sandy's town, and joins the show via Web cam to tell the former councilwoman why the joke is no laughing matter. Plus, meet a man who says he's constantly taunted by racist slurs while playing Xbox Live. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 8, 2008, 6:27 pm PST

Cyber is Cyber

Cyber space is an outlet that lets you think, do and say what the world, has almost stopped as free thought. 

The council member tells a joke, 99% of the folks know it's a joke, 1% wouldn't get it if you told them it was a joke.  10% take it personal and get offended, the rest get a good belly laugh.  So, to save the 10%, the 90 % get to just grin and bear it.  How sick is that.  The joke was equal opportunity for every special group on the planet.  Many minority comedians, will make as much fun of their group, as any other minority or majority.  Most see the humor and laugh.  This is okay.   Fair and equal bashing is funny.  If you can't see the humor in making fun of the political correctness of  the joke, you are probably in the 1%, who will never get it. 

As far as getting harrassed in cyber-space, well, it takes about a nano-second to change your identity.  Do it.  Your "Smurf182" identity is not that special.  Too bad you spent, countless hours, becoming the master troll in some dumb game.  If you have come across  folks that  mess  with you, change  your name, get a new, free email address.  Only tell friends and family what your new identity is. 

Passing laws, and seeking social retribution for preceived offenses, is just plain absurd.  The internet and this form of communication will change and adjust far more quickly than societal controls.  Change the channel if you don't like the show, stay out of the kitchen if you can't stand the heat or just shut if off. 

 
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January 8, 2008, 6:28 pm PST

The Perfect World

We as a society need to learn to coexists.  I guess I could relate with the lady that was a government official.  I don't feel she intended to hurt anyone.  She just didn't want to be inslaved by society, so she probably made the right decision for herself by resigning.  But, at the same point we need to take accountability for what we say.  It seemed like she was saying that she didn't care that she offended people, because she would have done it again. She may have started by placing those comments to make people laugh, but she finished by leaving it there to be right. 

There really is no right answer someone is always going to get hurt.  Either it is the lady who can't speak her mind because of  the chance that it might offend someone, or it is the person that is getting offended and jailed by fear, and pain. I just think people need to think about their intentions before they say something.  We are all here together, and what we do is going to affect one another, rather we realize it or not.  Sometimes we need to just take the higher ground and give our freedom up so someone else can have some freedom.   

 
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January 8, 2008, 6:33 pm PST

The "Bad" Joke

First of all, political humor is SUPPOSED to be insulting. The fact that it insulted everyone (except blondes) is why it insulted no one. She is a Dem and the point of the joke was to poke fun at herself. If she read it into the minutes of her city hall meeting it would have been different. She posted it on a public forum where jokes are posted. Okay, so you don't think it's funny, who cares? She did and I did too. I am not an idiot, I am well educated, not racist, part minority, and I can laugh at myself. I laugh at Republican jokes, Jew jokes, Fat jokes, white jokes, jokes about red hair and freckles, jokes about women, and they all could be directed at me. I just say F' 'em if the can't take a joke! When I was ill with Cancer I laughed at jokes about death and illness. Probably why I survived. Laughter is such good medicine. The Mayor is NOT her boss. The people who elected her are her bosses. If they didn't like her humor they could vote her out next election. Until then they deserve her representation. As for the stuck up blonde on the webcam, I would not move to her town because no one there has a sense of humor and she seems very much an intolerant prude. I love the councilwoman, because she can laugh at herself. I am outraged that she found a need to resign.

 
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January 8, 2008, 6:34 pm PST

Please

Quote From: sbedford

First of all did this girl have parents?She was thirteen and talking to some stranger on the internet and her parents didn't even care.Second of all what happened to today's children?Why are all the children in america a bunch of babies and let some harmless words cause so much stress.Using the internet is an option so there is no way in hell you can make a law from this incident.I blame this all on the 13 year olds parents for not raising their child right and not being in her life enough because I'm sure there were warning signs of depression and/or suicidal jestures.Dont get me wrong you shouldnt act like that towards other people but you cant really place the blame on her neighbor.

This was 47 year old woman participating in SEDUCING a 13 year old girl with an attractive but fake 16 year old boy to allegedly gain information about what Meagan was saying about her daughter. That is just so wrong. Why pick a fake boy? To cause further humiliation that's why. IF all you wanted was "the goods" my guess is using a fake girl would be more productive. This was done to purposely seduce and humiliate a very young girl. It is despicable.

 

Meagan's internet useage was well monitored by her parents. Moreover, Lori Drew KNEW Meagan suffered from depression. 

 
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January 8, 2008, 6:36 pm PST

Get a Real Life for a 13 year old.

Why did this 13 year old have a "online affair" with a unknown male to start with? The mother had no control over her kid!!!! Now Little Miss Mommy wants to have people arrested 'cause she did a miserable job of supervising her 13 year old. Megan was no angel when it came bullying herself. It's always SOMEONE ELSE"S FAULT IN AMERICA TODAY. The typical KNEEJERK reaction is pass more laws than communist China. SHE HAD NO IDEA WHO HER DAUGHTER WAS TALKING TO ONLINE & DID NOT SEEM TO CARE UNTIL IT WENT TOO FAR. WAKE UP AMERICA!!!! WHO"S TALKING TO YOUR KID?
 
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January 8, 2008, 6:36 pm PST

01/08 Cyber Bullies

Quote From: ericka91

     This is just the way some people are. I think it makes them feel good about themselves by making others feel bad or try to. They must not like themselves-I feel that if they didthey wouldn't want to hurt others. But, on the other hand, we don't need to take what every one else thinks and says about us to heart. We should know ourselves and be confident in who we are. This way when someone does try to tell us that we're fat, ugly, stupid, dumb, etc. - it won't phase us at all because we know who we are and GOD didn't make any one of us like this. Everyone is beautiful, but their ways may not be. Some people just get off on making others feel inferior to them. That's the only control they may have-because they can't control themselves. Just remember, GOD made us all, but we choose to be the way we are...
Unfortunately, being rational as an adult doesn't help a dead 13 year old who was inexperienced and at a critical age having to deal with the real world.
 
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January 8, 2008, 6:38 pm PST

HOGWASH

Quote From: seeyah

This was 47 year old woman participating in SEDUCING a 13 year old girl with an attractive but fake 16 year old boy to allegedly gain information about what Meagan was saying about her daughter. That is just so wrong. Why pick a fake boy? To cause further humiliation that's why. IF all you wanted was "the goods" my guess is using a fake girl would be more productive. This was done to purposely seduce and humiliate a very young girl. It is despicable.

 

Meagan's internet useage was well monitored by her parents. Moreover, Lori Drew KNEW Meagan suffered from depression. 

HOGWASH!!!!
 
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January 8, 2008, 6:40 pm PST

01/08 Cyber Bullies

I live in the same area and my heart goes out to meagans family.That mother should be so ashamed and I think Meagans family should file a civil suit and take all the money and start a foundation in Meagans name and get the message out about cyberbullies.My son who is 16  also seen the show today with me and said it is terrible the amount of cyberbulling that goes on.Thank you Dr.Phil and meagans family for sharing this tragic story but I think this has opened a lot of parents eyes and I will monitor and talk with my boys about this.
 
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January 8, 2008, 6:41 pm PST

01/08 Cyber Bullies

Quote From: seeyah

This was 47 year old woman participating in SEDUCING a 13 year old girl with an attractive but fake 16 year old boy to allegedly gain information about what Meagan was saying about her daughter. That is just so wrong. Why pick a fake boy? To cause further humiliation that's why. IF all you wanted was "the goods" my guess is using a fake girl would be more productive. This was done to purposely seduce and humiliate a very young girl. It is despicable.

 

Meagan's internet useage was well monitored by her parents. Moreover, Lori Drew KNEW Meagan suffered from depression. 

That's it, blame the victim and the extended victims, the parents.  That solves the problem of bullying others, especially that of a 13 year old dealing with an actual adult who was assisting and training another adult, an 18 year old, and Lori Drew was literally teaching her daughter, also 13 years old - to lie who you are and bully another.  I bet they had lots of laughs over that!  I believe the original writer has a narcisistic personality problem!  All about self and little understanding of compassion and especially realizing this issue is about a 13 year old against two adults and another 13 year old being assisted by those two adults.  A child is dead.  HELLLoooooo
 
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January 8, 2008, 6:44 pm PST

Xbox live

I just want to talk about the xbox live situation that the gentleman talked about. I personally have played xbox live. When you play on there people call you every word that you can think of...One person even stated to me  " I am going to go to your house and rape". And then they laughed as if it was funny. I also get called the N word even though I am not an African American. They just plainly think they can say whatever they want to whenever they want to. I don't listen to these idiots who cuss repeatedly and say such awful things but I do personally think Microsoft is doing a horrible job at monitoring all of this. I will say you can leave feedback on the gamer tag and even mute certain people while playing but still that gives them no right to harass people because they are mad that you beat them....So that is my story on the subject...And Kudos to Dr.Phil for a  great show!
 
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