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Topic : 06/18 "My Big, Fat, Spoiled Family Member"

Number of Replies: 201
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 04, 2008, 02:12:22 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/11/08) Dr. Phil speaks with guests who are fed up with a family member because they say their out-of-control spending has got to stop. Katie says her brother, Adam, just loves to spoil himself. He's spent hundreds of thousands on boats, Corvettes, and top-of-the-line toys just so he can brag to people that he has them. Adam says what’s the point of buying these things if he can’t show them off? Is living the American dream worth having a $200,000 debt? Then, Kecedra says her 4-year-old daughter, Dawson, is turning into a shopaholic, and it all started when “Auntie Gina” bought the girl a leather skirt when she was just 6 months old! Kacedra says her sister, Gina, spends thousands spoiling Dawson, and she’s creating a big problem. And, you won’t believe the pet project Pam spends all her money on. This obsessive spoiling made her roommate so sick, he had to move out! Tell us what you think!

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January 7, 2008, 3:08 am CST

to psystudent1966

Quote From: psystudent1966

I think these people that go out and buy alot of fancy things and show them off, alot of them end up in bankrupcy because they cannot pay for the things they have gotten.  I was raised that if you want something you save and then buy it when you have the money for it, dont go in debt for something you will never be able to pay for.

I also have a family member, thru marriage that does these things she actually married for money not love and she will tell everyone that.  To me that is just petty and wrong. 

I was even made fun of by my husbands sister about the size of my engagement ring, it was not big it was a small ring and exactly what i wanted.  she thought it should be a huge rock or something,  Well she has been married 3 times all with big rings and now she is alone, we have been married for 20 years and I still do not want a rock, love is more important to me than possessions.

People need to live within their means, not go in debt to impress anyone, I definetly dont do anything to impress anyone, I do things that I need to do and want to do. 

Your "rock" is your rock-solid 20 year marriage! Mine too has been a long and happy marriage. Which is worth far more than your sister-in-law's collection of engagement rings from 3 failed marriages.  Could her excessive materialism be the cause?  I wouldn't be surprised at all.

You say you don't do anything to impress anyone. Well you don't need to!  Being in a long and happy love-filled marriage is plenty impressive all on its own!  Wishing you continued happiness!! J B

 
January 7, 2008, 10:39 am CST

Four Year Old Shopaholic

Quote From: tina2010

She has to learn no.You have to do her a favor. And let her know she can't have what she wants or she is not going to learn. You can't give in because she won't learn. I rather you deal with it  and pay attention to what is going on because she might create a scene at the store. Mom you are here to guide her. She needs to know we are nor buying toys. She will get it someday that she can't have what she wants. Don't spoil her becuase it is only her future and she is only going to be young once eventually she will get it sooner or later. Before you know it she will understand. Just becuase she is my mother she doesn't give me everything just because she loves me. You are here to buy food and put roof over her head
 My question is why does Mom allow Auntie to disrespect her in this manner?  It is hard enough to teach values and survive without having someone else come in and disrupt all that you are trying to teach your children.  Getting a backbone is only one of the things Mom needs to do.  I cannot imagine what a trip to the store must be like with the 4 year old, but most children that age learn by watching the adults that are in their lives.  Too bad she cannot be learning about earned income, interest income and savings accounts.
 
January 9, 2008, 12:56 am CST

My Big, Fat, Spoiled Family Member

I'm going through the samething with my step son his grandparents spoil him to were as he wants everything under the sun. but he's only 4 years old and it's harder on me because his father lets his parents get away with it and it hurts my 13 year old daughter more because they are her grandparents too but they treat her like s*** and wouldn't even accept her as their granddaughter. Which isn't easy for me to deal with so I know how these people are feeling in a way.
 
January 11, 2008, 5:22 am CST

infomercial

Let's hope today's show is better than Robin's infomercial yesterday.  Cujo  needs a little advice on dress by the way.  Dr. Phil's house was nice. 
 
January 11, 2008, 6:49 am CST

01/11 "My Big, Fat, Spoiled Family Member"

Hi, 

I think Aunt Gina, is spoiling her neice because she has not been stopped by her sister because Gina is probably paying some of her sister's bills and the sister does not want the money to stop. If she stops her from spoiling her daughter she will probably stop everything.

 

Mitsey

 
January 11, 2008, 8:00 am CST

Disgrace to MOTHERHOOD

As Dr. Phil has said so many times, "You teach people how to treat you."  It is obvious that Kaceeta has some serious issues with self worth, and her children are paying the price.  This is just another form of child abuse, because her other children are being blatantly neglected. How can she be a mother, and allow anyone to mistreat her children (even if it is a relative). DISRESPECT is just like poop, it comes in all forms.  I just hope there is someone in that family with enough common sense to step up, speak out, and come to the aid of these kids...because their mother is more concerned with pleasing her sister.

As for Gina, get a freakin life....it's obvious you don't have one if you desire to spend all your time with a 4 yr old. Maybe it's because they are on the same intellectual level.

 
January 11, 2008, 8:03 am CST

WTF?! The woman with the dog has got to be the most disgusting thing I've seen!

I have seen spoiled pets, and I've even been accused of spoiling my dog, but this woman is absolutely ridiculous!  She chews the dog's food?!  She won't let her roomates' have medication and the food they'd like?!  The dog gets the bed while she sleeps of the floor!  She's absolutely mental!  I admit I buy my dog sweaters and take her trick-or-treating with the kids, even give her the candy (not chocolate, though.)  I try to remember to get her a sandwich when I'm out, and even tear it into pieces so it's easier for her to bite, but I damn sure don't chew the sandwich for her! 

 

I think she is afraid of real, human relationships, and I think Pie Boy is an extention of herself.  She uses him to spoil herself.  Did she not get love as a child?  Was she raised by a pack of wild dogs that she would think this animal (yes, I said ANIMAL) is equal to a human child?!?  She compares Pie Boy with Dr. Phil's son Jordan?!

 

Seriously, don't they make a medication for this?

 
January 11, 2008, 8:59 am CST

Dear Sunny

Quote From: lashel52

I agree...it's a 'void' in their lives, but how does one determine what that 'void' is?

 

I have a beautiful, intelligent, successful, 37 year old daughter that drives me crazy with her 'shopping'!  I raised her with plenty of "No's" and plenty of training.  Allowance was earned, part was saved, budgets were created.  When she wanted her first pair of Nikes (at 13), I told her to 'get a job'...she did!  She babysat to earn those Nikes!  She had to buy her own car...including her first one.  She was well taught on the value of a dollar and how to spend/save.

 

Her first job was at a shoe store and it was then that I began to see a 'problem'.  She had little to no 'paycheck' at the end of the week and her room was filled with clothes, shoes, jewlery and makeup.

 

She went into the Air Force rite after graduation and has spent the rest of her adult life there.  She has never been married, has a 10 year old son and lives with her father.  Every time she is deployed, mom takes care of her son, cleans her place and gets her bills caught up.  On top of being a shopaholic, she is a hoarder (so is her father).

 

She has a huge heart and gives to folks in need, does for several charities, and overwhelms her family and friends at Christmas.  Her son?  SPOILED!  She was warned from the time he was born, what her parenting 'style' would do, but she wouldn't listen to anyone.  She thought it was 'cute' and he was her only child.  "He will have what I didn't."  At 8, she suddenly slammed on the brakes...it wasn't 'cute' anymore when the school began to call.  The result?  She has become abusive with him and he is now in therapy.  She won't even admit there is a 'problem' with her...let alone get help.

 

Last year, she was deployed to Iraq.  Her son was already living with me so the transition wasn't too bad.  As it neared time for her to come back, her son began to have tantrums.  It sadly became obvious that he didn't want her to come back!  Rite before it was time for her to return, my situation changed and he was forced to return to live with his mom.  Moving him back, I discovered the ugly truth about the way my daughter and grandson lived.  I had to report her...for my grandsons sake.

 

With a broken leg, I dug through mountains of 'stuff' just to find a bed.  The cats had used my grandsons room as a liter box - I had to gut his room and start from scratch.  All summer, I slaved in the basement of my former husbands house, trying to dig through tons of clothing, trash and cat feces.  It wasn't pretty, nor was it 'done' when she returned.  She returned with a 30 day 'notice' that if she didn't clean up the environment, her son would be removed.  Needless to say, these have been some 'trying' times.  I couldn't believe my daughter, who always looks so well put together, was living in such filth.  You couldn't find the floor!  Brand new items were on the floor being walked on!

 

In the effort to 'clean up', much of the 'stuff' was boxed or bagged to be sorted later.  She was furious and went on an extended 'shopping spree' to 'replace' what she couldn't 'find'.  She could afford to do that...mom had paid all her debts, including some from 1996 and had thousands in her savings account!  I got laid up with a broken wrist and herniated disks in my neck...the clean-up came to a stand-still.  I asked her about her 'need to shop'.  She said she gets a 'high' from it.  I asked her about the bills...she doesn't worry about them!  I asked her if she is happy living like this...she didn't answer.  I asked her if she thought buying for her son the way she does was 'good for him'.  I was told "I make good money and like to spend it...big deal....MY son will NOT be raised the way I was...he won't wear bobos or wait for his birthday or Christmas for new clothes..............."  I was devestated!  This is 'my' fault?  Perhaps it is.  Perhaps I said "no" too often, made her wait too long, made her feel inferior to her friends?  Did this put the 'void' in her that she is trying to fill now?  Meantime...what happens to my grandson?  After living with me, she knows better than to beat him like she used to, but how do I stop the over indulgence?  How do I stop her from trying to 'buy' his love?  If you could have been here at Christmas.....it's pathetic! 

 

Is it the parent's fault these people have 'voids'?  If so, what do we do now?  It will be interesting to see Dr. Phil's take on this issue.

 

Sunny

 

 

 

For Petes sake,  Stop paying her bills!! Ok, take care of your grandson, clean her house if you like, but stop paying her bills. Its like you are giving her a clean slate to go out and charge!

 
January 11, 2008, 9:20 am CST

Todays show

I love watching you Dr. Phil and I have learned allot from you, but sometimes I think your a little judgmental with the animal lovers. One thing is that everyone should brush their dogs teeth; dogs can die from an infected tooth. Take it easy on the animal lovers, if treating their dog like a human makes them happy, then that's great. I'm an animal lover myself and I have taught my cats many tricks. One also loves going for car rides. Animals are very smart if you have the time to train them!
 
January 11, 2008, 10:31 am CST

01/11 "My Big, Fat, Spoiled Family Member"

Quote From: markvw

Let's hope today's show is better than Robin's infomercial yesterday.  Cujo  needs a little advice on dress by the way.  Dr. Phil's house was nice. 
The women's haircuts were an improvement. And, the slim-fit, dark jeans were flattering. Mine make my legs look thinner. And, they're under $20, from Wal-Mart. Not, Robin's $200 "must have" jeans. That first dress, though, wasn't flattering. And, what's with those hideous prints? Especially in the dress? I rarely buy prints anymore. Solids are much more classic and versatile.
 
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