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Topic : 01/14 "At War with My Teen"

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Created on : Friday, January 11, 2008, 01:01:50 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Family members are supposed to support one another, but what happens when a household is in total meltdown and filled with constant battles? Sandi says her 17-year-old son, Michael, is totally out of control. During a fight they curse, yell, and even come to blows –- all captured on cameras installed in their home. She says she's called the cops seven times and has been so scared of Michael that she's locked herself in the bathroom to escape him. Michael says the bickering is not all his fault. Is he being honest with himself? How is Michael's relationship with his stepdad, Jim, adding to the problem? You won't believe some of the shocking statements the parents make. Find out why Robin joins the conversation onstage, and find out what Dr. Phil thinks is at the root of the problem. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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toniecw

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January 14, 2008, 12:16 pm PST

This twenty year old is right!

Quote From: saas1321

Alot of what you said really concerns me, mostly about you saying that if she ends up in jail for her not to call you. You need to be there for her. Set rules she lives in your house and if she want to stay there she has to go by what you say.(common rules ) If she does not like that she is 18 considered "an adult" let her go out and see what life really is. Her mom not wanting to bother with her i bet hurts her. I am on 20yrs old i have been on my own since i was 16yrs old because my mom could not get it together. Be there for her, be her support, love her no matter what. Set rules that she has to have a job, clean up after her self, home no later than 1 a.m. You are supposed to love your grandchilderen no matter what step up and help her she is crying out for attention of LOVE!!!!!

Probably one of the reasons that your grand daughter is a staying with you is because she can make up her own rules...

I always had rules that my sons knew that they had to follow if life at home was to be tolerable for us all...

They had curfew that was different during the school week and different on the week ends...they knew they had better call if they were late or had other plans...

Parents that make their children believe that they are friends and thus the child is able to run all over them...is not only hurting themselves, yet the child as well.

All kids of all ages, need boundaries...

Setting a clear distinction between the offense and the love for the child is an important element...

Some parents may love the child in spite of how they are a reacting to a situation the child has placed them in...remembering to always return to love is very important...such as this 20 year old has pointed out quite well.

Thank you for the reminder!

Learning how to forgive is also another important element...Parent to child and child to parent.

Did anyone catch the news blurb video about the mother that sold her son's car after only two weeks of giving it to him for breaking one of two rules that she placed on the gift of the car?

Two rules of mother: 1. Always keep it locked. 2. No alcohol. The car was discovered after two weeks to be unlocked, and a can of alcohol was in it.

The ad that she placed was called: "Meanest Mom on the Planet."

For those that haven't seen the video...can see it on my blog called, "Thoughts to Consider."

Love, Light and Peace

We Are All Blessed

Tonie

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toniecw

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January 14, 2008, 12:20 pm PST

That is also how I see it as well

Quote From: ramair

You want to know why Robin has never had to raise her voice with Jay and Jordin? Dr Phil backed her up, every step of the way. Once, one of them, riding in the back seat with the other, "sassed" Robin. And, Dr Phil calmly, but firmly, told him if he "ever spoke to his wife" that way again, there would be consequences. Dr Phil taught the boys, by precept, and example, how to treat Robin, and all other women.

We are talking about two different family dynamics here...was is a blended family environment and the other...the natural and well balanced family....both parents working together with the same dream in mind...

One is the difference between apples and oranges and the other, apples and apples...

Yet blended families can turn out successful as well...obtaining counseling to iron out the kinks is a great way to begin...

Those are my thoughts

We Are All Blessed

Love, Light and Peace

Tonie

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toniecw

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January 14, 2008, 12:25 pm PST

Treating Children With Respect

Quote From: auggie123

Every child is going to push the envelope to see how far they can push. That is when the parent steps in, and that is where mistakes are made and children seem to suffer in the long run. Parenting is not easy it takes all the patience in the world not to lose your cool but in the long run treating your child with respect will win every time. And I'm sorry if there are people that are having problems with their children, look in the mirror because that's mostly where the problems started. From the time my daughter was old enough to talk I've taught her, through words and actions, how to respect , love, and always be the person God would want her to be. Just like Dr. Phil stated, it takes years to see the damage. It all starts from the beginning like building a sculpture you mold, and mold, and mold that little person to be the person they DESERVE to be, believe in them and most times they won't dissappoint you!

All get back what they give forward....If one wants respect, they must give it to obtain it in return...

"For every action, there is a reaction."

Our children grow up so fast...as I look back over the years I do have a few regrets, yet not many...

Good luck to all that are in the midst of child raising...I still say that it was the greatest accomplishment of my life...and one that I will never regret.

We Are All Blessed

Love, Light and Peace

Tonie

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vmallen

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January 14, 2008, 12:29 pm PST

A very good Military Boarding School

Even though our family did not get to this point, we did do a small segment on the Dr. Phil Show, what ultimately helped us was sending our son to a Military Boarding School. He was a good kid, lazy, but good but as he grew into real teen years, he just could not get himself or his hormones together. Once enrolled in ORMA, he has become the kid I always thought he could be. Well behaved, great grades, great attitude! I give credit to his upbringing, but ultimately the discipline that I was unable to absorb in his body was given there. He is such a joy to be around and further more, he likes himself and who he is becoming.

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doglverx5

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January 14, 2008, 12:33 pm PST

01/14 "At War with My Teen"

I truley believe that my son treats me with kindness and respect due to the example his father has always shown to me. I think the problem with this family started a long time ago when this child was an infant. It proves the old saying is true. "If you always do what you've done, then you'll always get what you've always gotten". How sad, a son that is diffucult to love and a Mother who is difficult to respect. I hope they both get the help they need.

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srd138

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January 14, 2008, 12:38 pm PST

Wow

I am watching the show right now. Wow, that mother has gone above and beyond just screaming and yelling. That was more than raising her voice. I hope the mother gets just as much help as the son does. No wonder the son does the things he does..not to say it's right but who has he learned how to act except from a mother who flips OUT and can't act like a normal human being. I am a mother and have never been to the point where I need to go crazy and scream like that. Wow.

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divajinx

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January 14, 2008, 12:40 pm PST

01/14 "At War with My Teen"

That mother is the mother from HELL! The son may be antagonizing her; teens do that to parents, but she is definately out of control. Perhaps it's hormonal, perhaps it's mental. We may never know, but she shouldn't be SCREAMING at the top of her lungs for no good reason. She would get farther (and better responses) if she weren't so LOUD and OBNOXIOUS! The drama has got to stop. At the pace she's going, she's headed for an early grave and may never get a chance to have a happy home.

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pattycake8

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January 14, 2008, 12:41 pm PST

sounds like home

I go through the same thing this mother does . My son goes "off" at the drop of a hat. You can't speak to him if he is playing a video game or working on the computer. He also goes off if he gets upset with a friend on the phone. He breaks doors, punches holes in walls , slams doors.

He is on medication since he was 10 years old . I believe that the teen in todays show may have a

mental problem that needs to be evaluated and tests be done to find out what is actually going on.

There are times that i have to leave the house to get away from the situation.

Blame the mother why not????????

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karepack

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January 14, 2008, 12:45 pm PST

01/14 "At War with My Teen"

I just came in on this topic this afternoon. I came in at the part where the clip was being shown of the mom going balistic. How quick people are to judge. you have no idea what you can become when you are pushed to the wall. I have been dealing with a son with addiction issues. I am known as a quiet, soft spoken person. My son has pushed me to a place I wouldn't want anyone to go to. For Robin to go to that boy and hold his hand and say that she has never spoken a harsh word to her sons only adds to that mom's own guilt. Don't get me wrong, I thought the woman's behavior was uncalled for. No child needs that in their lives. I too have said and done things I am not proud of, but please Robin, try to see that everyone cannot live the life that you have. I hope and pray that this family can be healed. God Bless

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shmigelz

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January 14, 2008, 12:45 pm PST

That mother is a mess.

That mother is totally outta control. No doubt about it. Just look at her on today's show. You can actually see the evilness, grumpyness, meanness, the out right hatred just by her constant facial expression.

It can't be easy for a kid to have to grow up with not on a mother who's outta control but also not having a real, true father is his life, but yet a 'step' or what I call 'fake' father. He's not a true father, there can't be 'true' love there.. He didn't father that kid into this world!! I don't know the details but I also assume that teenages had to go through his mothers divorce from the FIRST HUSBAND? or the REAL FATHER??

The teenager has been thrown around sooo much and been through soo much, what do you expect from him? How do you think he's gonna act from time to time?? First off hes A TEENAGER! Teenagers act stupid and crazy time to time - THEIR TEENAGERS! But throw in step fathers, insane mothers?

That mother needs some serious, professional help and SHE NEEDS to SHUT her MOUTH and LISTEN!

I feel bad for that kid, hes all on his own with his mother and step father against him.. See the thing is that kid will only get BIGGER, STRONGER, faster, TALLER, etc and chances are the step father will only become more and more obese/overweight. SO what goes around comes around.. It always does... Im sure Michael is counting his days, not to mention he's already standing up for himself and holding his own against a GROWN MALE ADULT STEP FATHER...

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