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Topic : 01/14 "At War with My Teen"

Number of Replies: 714
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Created on : Friday, January 11, 2008, 01:01:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Family members are supposed to support one another, but what happens when a household is in total meltdown and filled with constant battles? Sandi says her 17-year-old son, Michael, is totally out of control. During a fight they curse, yell, and even come to blows –- all captured on cameras installed in their home. She says she's called the cops seven times and has been so scared of Michael that she's locked herself in the bathroom to escape him. Michael says the bickering is not all his fault. Is he being honest with himself? How is Michael's relationship with his stepdad, Jim, adding to the problem? You won't believe some of the shocking statements the parents make. Find out why Robin joins the conversation onstage, and find out what Dr. Phil thinks is at the root of the problem. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 12, 2008, 6:59 am CST

Winning at ANY cost

     Oh dear.  If it is so bad that Robin has to have a talk with her, Mom is no candidate for Mother of the Year.

     My mother and I still have a strained relationship.  The basis of the problem was that we strongly resemble one another.  (I look in the mirror, and my mother looks back at me)  This doesn't sound like a major problem, but because of this, she was determined that I should have a better life and be a better person than she had been.

     When a parent tries to re-live their own lives through the actions of their children, it creates nothing but chaos.  I didn't follow HER plan!  She contacted the authorities, claiming that I was totally out of control.  The only solution was sending me to girl's reform school.  I talked back to her.  Sometimes, I swore and called her foul names.  She saw to it that I was the talk of the school by marching to the guidance counselor's office and announcing that I had a sex life.  I was 17, and I was not a virgin.  (In the state where I live, that is enough to land any girl in reform school)  Worst of all, I had a younger sister.  Mom didn't want my behavior to contaminate her.  And the two of them told half of my classmates all about my sex life with myself.

       And Mom felt justified. 

   

 
January 12, 2008, 9:34 am CST

teen granddaughter

My 18 year old granddaughter came to live with us about 3 months ago, however she spends most of her nights running around with friends and sometimes ends up staying at their home.   She recently lost her job, and is delinquent with all her bills which is her problem.

However some of her "friends" are in their 20's and have drinking and drug problems.  She said I treat her like she is 5, and out the door she goes.  Her mother lives in another town, and don't want to bother with her and she don't get along with her dad.  HELP

 

I have told her is she ends up in jail, not to call me.

 
January 12, 2008, 9:59 am CST

At war with my Teen

It is so hard for children with a step parent in the first place.  This should have been taken care of a long time ago.  This certainly isn't their first rough period.    Just being a teenager is difficult!!  I hope it is not too late.  God Bless and take care.
 
January 12, 2008, 10:51 am CST

Doctor Phil Show

At Doctor My Phil Teen War With. What are you talking about?I know that war is only in Iraq and Iran aswell-

so get use to it. See you on Monday Janurary 14th, 2008.  Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------.

 
January 12, 2008, 12:51 pm CST

son battles

This sounds as if it could be about my family.  My son has an unbelievalbe temper.  He breaks things, punches holes in walls and curses me all the time. As long as I let him do whatever he wants there is no problem, sweet caring, loving, but if you say no you better hold on.  He has depression, he doesn't take meds for, he has a back injury but doesn't think the doctors know what they are talking about.  According to him we have never done anything for him.  I am at my wits end.  I hope this show hels our situation.
 
January 12, 2008, 1:08 pm CST

Send him to me

PLEASE!  Send him to me for two weeks.  I am sure there is a lot of good in him.  He just needs a few push ups, sit ups and laps.  Once all of his energy is out he will act right!  Put the kid in a sport for goodness sakes!  Get some big men in your family to take him down there if you have to.  Don't respond to his mouth, ignore it!  Just engage him in some physical activities with other parents and kids around so he can see how NORMAL people act!  If he wants to stay out of the mental hospitals and jails he will listen up, straighten up and fly right!  If not, let him suffer the consequences. 

PS:  his step dad should not have to discipline or deal with him negatively at all since that is your job MOM!!!  Stop getting mad and get happy.  Tell him nicely what will make you happy.  Tell him exactly without sarcasm what you need him to do.  Then walk away and let him do it.  If he CHOOSES not to do it, consequence time!  17 yr old appropraite consequence is that every time his friends call for him on the phone for the next two weeks you tell them various reasons why he cannot come to the phone like 1) He was playing in the mud outside and a worm crawled up his butt so he is bed ridden for a while and cannot come to the phone then hang up.  Once word gets around and he sees you are not playing around he will CHOOSE the best outcome for himself.  Dont get mad...get happy!  Believe me, even if it does not work you will still have a little smirk on your face knowing he did not get away with it either!  Also, this puts a little fun into your relationship with him...that will keep him coming back for your advice...he will see how smart you can be and how quickly you can let your PRIDE go and he will think you are very wise and start to treat you with admiration instead of disrespect.  The whole disrespect thing is because he is mad at you for NOT LISTENING and NOT HEARING HIS SIDE before you pronounce judgement.  LISTEN TO HIS LONG DRAWN STORY then pronounce judgement.  It will probably be the same pronouncement but he will respect it because YOU LISTENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 
January 12, 2008, 1:20 pm CST

at war with my teen

 I want want to let you know that I had so much trouble with my son when he was a teenage to 22 years old he was into drugs and alcahol and I was very scared of him that if he would hurt me or kill me but he went to jail for three weeks and he had a bad experence so I got him home and til there was room at teen challenge and he's been there since march 26, 2007 and he is a change boy and I am so happy the changes he has made and thank to teen challenge for all the work they have done.
 
January 12, 2008, 3:41 pm CST

Parents Need To Do Their Job!

I am a single mom of 2 teenage boys (16 & 19)...been a single parent for 11 years.  When are parents going to wake up, stop making excuses, and start making their kids behave?  It's not hard, its a matter of priorities...kids come first when you're a single parent because you have double-duty to do.  My boys know better than to misbehave.  Wake up parents and do your job!!!
 
January 12, 2008, 4:05 pm CST

01/14 "At War with My Teen"

well I think the mother is so frustrated that is why she is acting that way.  I am sure the son didn't just start acting this way.  Agreed that I will be curious to see what the deal is with the stepfather.  Wonder if the bio father is around.  My kids act like that and they are 14 and have been for years.  The yelling and screaming is awful but when I have had enough of the name calling and the emotional abuse then I lose it also. 
 
January 12, 2008, 5:41 pm CST

at war with teen

I feel that one way things are out of control is parents allow the teens to call them names. I think the teen needs some  therapy, and better yet   DR. PHIL'S BOOT CAMP
 
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