Topic : 01/15 Internet Mistakes

In this competitive job market, why shouldn't employers be as selective as they can be?  And why should they just rely on references? There IS a connection between how you behave privately ( ie.pictures posted on the internet) and how well someone will perform in the workplace.  It demonstrates whether or not you have good judgement.  If that is lacking (and it certainly is if someone is stupid enough to put those pictures on the internet) then why would someone want to employ that kind of person? What kind of job will a person with poor judgement do, and how do they represent the company they work for.  Yes, when you work for an organization you represent them.  So if someone puts something out to the public on the internet, employers have every right to look at it when making a decision on a candidate.

 

As far as your comments on Amanda, and that she should work in a soup kitchen, how 'bout MARY doing something useful with her life such as that?  The time she spends being productive and helping others would also be time away from doing destructive things such as drinking and posting pictures.  Ad maybe she would earn to get attention for doing something positive for a change.

I want to be clear that I am just calling for Awareness, Education, Regulation, and Legislation. TV is regulated, movies are regulated. BUT RIGHT NOW THE INTERNET IS A FREE-FOR-ALL! People say that the technology can't be tamed, but if we can create this technology, then we need to regulate and control it as well.

For answers to this question see TAMING THE WEB at: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/porn/special/taming.html   When it comes to exploitation, obscenity, and graphic sexualized imagery including teenagers this is really not acceptable and our society needs to wake up to this issue and put a stop to it. The the technology has surpassed the legislation. There should be no barely legal minors in graphic obscenity available for sex offenders to download 24/7 posted online. 90% of sex offenders use Internet pornography, and regularly browse sites such as Facebook and Myspace as well. Sex offenders use these sites to look for prey. These girls lying drunk and passed out on the floor or hugging toilets or "tagged" with graffiti in their under garments is pornographic and obscene and they are minors-they shouldn't even be drinking in the first place and it is ILLEGAL, and these girls are inadvertently exposing themselves to these predators as well. Why isn't this being prosecuted, its illegal all up one side and down the other?????That is my main question for all of society.
  Has the porn industry gotcha?
http://www.reuniting.info/resources/porn_masturbation_addiction
Online obscenity and its related social ills are breaking up families and lives left and right. Almost all of us have been touched by Internet obscenity, predation, or trafficking now. They say the average age of a child's first access to viewing HARDCORE OBSCENITY is the age of 11. That's too young to be exposed to this online free-for-all, a party where everyone's in the room even, Chester The Molester ( that this is a popular and well known site is telling).   We won't the know full impacts and ramifications of all this till this generation becomes adults - they are the first to be raised with this technology...   If you want to know my personal story its below and why I am on here and so concerned about this for all girls and women. This includes both Amanda and Mary - as well who I believe are both living in a bullying, out of control, narcissistic youth culture that is experiencing what scholars are calling the "Death of Empathy" -- scholars like ROBERT JENSEN are talking about this, when he says that we all live in a predatory corporate environment where everything, even our teenage girls and women, is for sale online.   My Story - even though I don't want to make this personal...My family recently found out that our teenaged niece was posting and selling herself online in all kinds of forums on servers of well known Internet Sites like MySpace... She was working as an escort, and she got beaten up and raped and then she contracted HIV and has been suicidal on and off for over a year now. It has divested her family and her extended family. The whole time she was drinking productively and doing hard drugs too, and thought the money/drugs/notoriety was worth it, they told us the between 5-10 men a day were using her and video taping it for the sex acts she was paid for and posting to sites that operate off of Craigslist and others, please boycott these sites!!! Young girls for sale on these sites is an autrocity, and no one seems to be aware of it or fighting this predation???? We should all be fighting for these exploited women.

...And no one even knows about half the stuff that‘s going on out there on so many web servers, literally millions of such sites exist now.

 

To the poster who said and assumed that I "must" look at porn, you are very wrong. I have taken the NO PORN PLEDGE, but I do support other men and counsel in men's groups among men who are tying to quit or heal sexual addiction created by these Internet Pushers. I know that allot of men have bought into this Internet Trashy Flashy Online Party Hookups, and Obscenity as a way to prove their manhood. I am trying to raise the awareness among these men, some of these guys are colleagues and friends unfortunately...

 

PLEASE PROVE YOUR MASCULINITY SOME OTHER WAY! http://www.oneangrygirl.net  

 

PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS http://www.reuniting.info/peace_between_the_sheets   One book that is great on this topic is about the Toltec wisdom of energy transfer and it speaks about how especially when people take many lovers these lovers implant energy "hooks" into the wombs of the women and these hooks can feed off these women for years and years if they do not cleanse their energy because especially the womb is set up to want to feed energy to others and its hard to stop women from losing their sacred life force and energy to this, but especially if they have sex that is not connected and committed at a level of higher self and higher energy -- with real LOVE-- we all want real love. BUT THIS I-CULTURE IS SELLING FAST AND EASY PARTIES AND SEX AND HOOKUPS LIKE ITS OF NO CONSEQUENCE.   If you are just having sex that is of the body/flesh - with no communion you have left out the most important part, the part that feeds you on a heart and soul level.

Having sex divorced from love, is a crime against your own heart/soul.   This kind of sex being sold to these teenagers online, is actually impure, on an energetic level. It is also very bad for men to masturbate excessively to pornography too which the biochemistry is explained on the site mentioned above www.reuniting.org its also very bad for men to have unconnected sex too, or sex that lacks intimacy or communion of the spirit because they actually expend alot o life force energy in doing so and when it goes into  a cycle of energy that is not connected to them, it cannot come back to them. Which is why this is low level, bestial if you will. Why do yo think men are told by their coaches before big games to avoid sex and masturbating so they can save their energy....   Its better explained in the book. But we all have some bad hooks in us nowadays and have to cleanse and detox - I highly recommend this material. Energy parasites are in any of us that have had one night stands, hookers, casual sex, or other encounters that were recreational and not with a spiritual alignment. Many Indian and tribal cultures have awareness and teachings about this that are completely lacking in our high tech, media crazed, pop culture.... http://www.amazon.com/Sorcerers-Crossing-Womans-Journey-Arkana/dp/0140193669

I think someone else already posted this link to - everyone should see it though: http://www.beliefworks.org/home.htm  

WWW.AGAINSTPORNOGRAPHY.ORG  

 

www.xxxchurch.com

 

Never forget ANDREA DWORKIN:

http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin  

"Earlier in her life, Andrea Dworkin prostituted. In an autobiographical essay written for the Contemporary Authors reference series, Andrea writes of a time in her life, beginning in her late teens, when "I ******[sic/prostituted] for food and shelter and whatever cash I needed." She cites a letter she wrote in reply to the author John Irving, published in The New York Times Book Review May 3, 1992, and in that letter she describes a time when, "homeless, poor, . . . sexually traumatized, I learned to trade sex for money. I spent a lot of years out on the street, living hand to mouth." That experience, according to this letter, is part of what informs the commitment behind all her writing: "With pornography, a woman can still be sold after the beatings, the rapes, the pain, the humiliation, have killed her. I write for her, in behalf of her, I try to intervene before she dies. I know her. I have come close to being her." In a speech given in October of the same year, she again publicly identifies with prostituted women: "...the premises of the prostituted woman are my premises."

 

From Recent Academic Sex & Gender Violence Conference

ftp://nsweb.law.du.edu/spring2007videos/specialevents/sexpoliticsgenderviolenceconffeb2007

Paraphrasing From Professor Gail Dines: ‘What does democracy look like when a handful of corporations control the cultural discourse? What does it mean to talk about Free Speech in a society where 30 seconds of speech costs $330, 000 in prime time? Free Speech is now the most expensive commodity in our media driven, corporate society. In a media culture (Howard Stern driven) the only way to be heard is through access to this media. We are only as good as our culture. The pornographers have hijacked this culture, and they did it without a battle. But there comes a time when we must ask: At what point can society no longer tolerate this? We cannot hand this culture over anymore.

 

We all deserve better than a porn-culture. It‘s time we really fight back. And its time that we no longer get sold on this shallow argument that we are against free speech, when we are take a stand against pornography and sexualized violence against women and children, and ultimately men too.‘

Please don‘t attack me for being honest about my thoughts and just giving you some stuff to look at, take it or leave it - its up to you. I AM GOING TO KEEP DOING ALL I CAN TO EDUCATE & PROMOTE AWARENESS ON THIS ISSUE, ONLY BECAUSE it has devastated my family many times over now.     ---  

A Man Speaks Against Pornography: Pornography and the Death of Empathy
http://www.southendpress.org/2007/items/87767  

Listen to Robert Jensen‘s discussion of the reach and impact of pornography in US society on March 9, 2007. Paraphrasing from Robert Jensen:

"Porn is used to get men in the mood to kill, there is the military Connection. On pornography and the death of empathy: men are being trained to ignore the experiences and feelings of women. Women in pornography are systematically subjected to cruelty and humiliation.

 

This is a death of empathy. This plays out in public contexts all the time. It’s a serious problem in this culture. In a predatory corporate capitalist system, we have to constantly struggle to reconnect as human beings." 

I too was amazed that Dr. Phil didn't light into Mary's mom. The child has been drinking since she was 13 and the mother has done nothing about it? Where was Dr. Phil's indignation? Where was the heart-felt lect ure to the mom to do something.



Mary should be grounded completely. I wouldn't even let her go to the mall by herself nor to a friend's house unless the parents are home. Second, I'd take away her allowence -- it's harder to obtain liquor if you don't have money. I'd take away computer priveleges, too. If Mary needs to use a computer for school work I'd put it smack dab in the living room and monitor her closely.



This mother reminds me of the mother of the teenager who texts while she drives (Out-of-Control Hobby?). It's 'Oh, gee, I wish she wouldn't do it' but neither mother steps up to the plate and takes action. These are unfit parents and are as guilty of child abuse as those who beat their kids -- either way the kids may well end up dead.



Finally, why didn't anyone else notice this. I read through about 100 postings until I found one on this point. [P.S. How do you get paragraph breaks and white space between paragraphs? I can't seem to do this]

As I watched this show the thing that I found most disturbing was what seemed to be a consensus that it was ok for people to lead duplicate lives, that is, a life with behaviour that is acceptable and/or expected and then a life, or lives that are apparently 'private.'  Apparently in the 'private' life one is allowed to act in bizarre ways though because it is 'private' it's somehow ok.  This is a very slippery slope, exactly where is the line drawn. 

 

I was a click away from changing the channel when an audience guest, a professional of some sort, agreed with the troubled young woman and basically reinforced the idea that her internet behaviour fell into this 'private' category.  Then you put a stop to it Dr Phil, I hope people were paying attention.  You challenged the professional in the audience and said to him basically, it's all one thing, there is no separation.  I believe we are 100% our behaviour, public and private, we are 'the sum of our deeds'.  If there is a division, accountability for both is our character.     

There is a public life, and there is a private life. But the internet is counted as your public life. There are things I do in my home that I wouldn't ever do in public. I think most people are like that. But again if I did them with the windows open, it wouldn't be private anymore now would it. And yes one is allowed to act in very bizarre ways and it is okay. The reason Dr Phil put a stop to that statement the guy said was cause the internet is not private so to assume its your private life is stupid. I don't even think going to a bar is counting as your private life. However if you go to a party at your friends and its all your friends together, that can count as your private life, cause then there is no public viewing and I have had some private partys that turned crazy and the rule was, if it happened at the party it stays at the party. Nobody the next day went to work and told there bosses what they did, and photos where never taken.

I think Dr Phil made a huge error when adding the Arlington Mayor to the segment on Internet mistakes. This woman was not wearing anything that revealed any part of her body that you would not see on any beach in America. The photo shown on TV was tasteful and showed a woman proud of what she has accomplished by working out and living right.  The bra and panties covered more on her then I see at our local beach by woman wearing swim suites. She is a proud woman that felt it was appropriate to post photos of herself on her website. Who's business is it of anyones to say she cant do that. She is held to no higher moral value then anyone else in the community. She is entitled to a personal life. There was nothing sexual or perverted about that photo. Those who are complaining could better use there time helping others then complaining about what others are doing. People in politics, law enforcement, positions of trust or any other high profile position should enjoy the same freedoms in the USA that any other American enjoys. They are not excluded from having a life and doing as they see fit.  No one was harmed in taking that photo so why is it an issue. Get a life people. Start caring about real issues like hunger, abused children, the homeless, abused wives..etc..

I'm 19, soon to be 20, and while like most people my age I enjoy having fun, my "fun" doesn't consist of getting s**tfaced and posting pictures online for the world to see. All I can say about Mary is that she needs to grow up, and maybe one day when reality slaps her in the face, she'll do just that. I don't understand how anyone can act that way, and then post about it online as if they're proud of their actions. I don't see what's attractive about puking your guts out in a toilet because you had way too much to drink, having your "friends" write crap on you while you're passed out, etc. And then posting the pictures online? The girl just seems desperate for attention. And the message it sends out to guys is "HEY! LOOK AT ME! I'M DRUNK AND EASY". Maybe that's what she was going for.

 

And like many others have posted, I wish Dr. Phil would've really let her mother "have it", so to speak.

Mary is a young girl with a lot of problems, she is not the anitchrist. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE THESE PICTURES DONT LOOK AT THEM!!! So if the way you act in your own private time demonstrates how you are going to act on your job, lets all remember our president was doing cocaine in his younger years!! So maybe if he would have taken pictures of this and posted it on a web sight we could all have known he lacked in judgement skills and wouldnt be at war and in a recission!!!

I'm appalled at how today's teens use/abuse the Internet and how naive they are about future consequences of such things as posting photos of their drunken escapades for the whole world to see.  When you brought up the fact that future employers who might see these pictures might not want to hire her, she naively and stupidly said, "well, I just wouldn't want to work for anyone who would feel that way.  I'll just go work for someone else!"  As you continue to remind us --- "their brains aren't fully developed yet.!" As the old English poet said, "oh, the gift to give us to see ourselves as others see us."  I just wonder where the parents are who aren't monitoring such behavior and aren't taking a tough stand to pull the plug on their computer privileges if they did such horrific exhibitionistic behavior.  The behavior is horrible enough without posting it for the entire world to see. 

 

I wouldn't have a clue how to get on a Face Book or My Space page and have no desire to do so.  Of course, I'm one of those "old" conservative folks who, at 61, realize that I might have been blessed to grow up without television, telephone, internet, or all the other  disgusting stuff.  I love computers for the great source of useful information and email communication, but wonder why there are no restrictions (I know, I know -- free speech, etc....) for all the perverted behavior that is allowed to happen via this media.  The recent cyber bullying incidents are also another disgusting misuse of the Internet.  How cruel some people can be who forget that they are interacting with REAL PEOPLE and can cause them irreparable harm by their cruel misuse of the Internet.  Of all the assinine behavior was the Mother who would be involved in the cyber bulling with her child against child.  What a stellar example of motherhood!!  There should be a "hot corner in hell" (as my mother used to say) for people who would do that.