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Topic : 01/15 Internet Mistakes

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Created on : Friday, January 11, 2008, 01:03:06 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Girls dancing on bars half-naked, passed out on the beach, hugging the porcelain … these are photos posted for all to see on the Web site Facebook, in a group called Thirty Reasons a Girl Should Call it a Night. These shocking and provocative pictures are supposedly submitted by the women in the photos themselves. The women say they love to have fun, and this is a way to bond with other girls just like them. But are there unforeseen consequences to letting the public behold you at your worst? Dr. Phil speaks with women on both sides of this debate. Jasmine is the moderator for the group Thirty Reasons and says, although she’s responsible for taking down questionable photos, she hasn’t found one yet! Amanda and Norma are incensed that women would degrade themselves in this way. Hear from the president of a company who uses Web sites like Facebook and MySpace to weed out potential employees. Could documenting your good time on the Internet become your biggest regret? Then, a teen who loves to drink says criticism of Thirty Reasons just reinforces the double standard of gender inequality. What do Dr. Phil and the teen’s mother think? Plus, a mayor’s sexy photo has her town’s residents outraged. And, meet a substitute teacher who says he was unfairly fired from his job two times for what’s on his MySpace page. Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 22, 2008, 1:09 pm PST

that's fine, so.....

Quote From: tikokiko

While I wouldn't post pictures like that of myself, no one was aking her what she thought, and I'm pretty sure that if it had been me posting those pictures, I most likely wouldn't care.

They weren't her pictures, and she doesn't have to look at them if they bother her so much!!!!!!!!!!:)

When Mary can't get a decent job because her maturity level and bad attidude are displayed all over public social networks nobody wants to hear her crying about it....

 

You reap what you sow, Mary.  Remember that.

 
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January 22, 2008, 2:43 pm PST

Pathetic

Quote From: momakababe

go do your own "homework"

 

you use "womens rights" as part of your platform & yet in reality you don't know anything about womens issues or "The Movement"!  You've still not said how the "60's sexual revolution" related to the feminist movement.    I'll give you a hint it's called sexual repression.......  However that's not what any of this is about because it isn't just women who are "degrading themselve online but young men as well & they are ALL being judged by their behaviors online!!!!!!!!  That's why 1 young man was passzed over & the other was FIRED!!!!!!!!

 

before I repeat what I'd said earlier let me say

 

Namaste

 

 

"Fifties fetish pinup Bettie Page, known in pornography circles for her black-haired bangs and kinky straps, whips and boots, predated Playboy magazine and, apparently, caused quite a stireventually being asked to appear before a senator's porn hearing. "

 

 

you mean like in the bondage pic from the fifties?  this was & IS pornography and so not it's just changed because the women have less clothing on?   or because it's on the internet instead of in a magazine? 

 

With all this said these young women on myspace are not wearing all that much etc. & again I don't agree with what they're doing but they're hardly creating pornography. 

Just a lovely picture.....

 

For those of us who helped to bring about EQUALITY for women (along with our mothers and grandmother zwho marched and wrote letters and demanded equality), HOW PATHETIC that women aren't bright enough to have enough respect for themselves than to de-humanize themselves and their bodies with sexual images. Anyone can have sex, including dogs. We're supposed to be more proud of our brains and emotions and actions than of what we can do in the bedroom with (sometimes) total strangers!

 

As someone so eloquently stated, just becuase we CAN do something doesn't mean we SHOULD do it.

 

If we want respect in this world, we must EARN it. When we show no respect for ourselves, our bodies and God, we shouldn't expect to get ahead in this world when it comes to friendships, comittted marriages, good jobs, etc.

 
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January 22, 2008, 5:46 pm PST

01/15 Internet Mistakes

    Heres whats okay to post on the Internet. Anything..........Anything and Everything is okay. Just post it......

 

   One problem people may make on the Internet is that they will take into consideration everything they hear and see. Suppose you got an e-mail, and it said you win 1,000,000 dollars. Then you open it up, and it said click here to claim your 1,000,000 dollars. A large number of people would probably jump on that , and they would expect to get 1,000,000 dollars.

   These type of wacko e-mails are not realistic, and that type of money don't exist. Instead its a scam and its out to rob or fool you..........

 
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January 22, 2008, 8:13 pm PST

You Missed The Boat

Yes, you told that young lady that drinking was illegal at the age of 17 BUT you never once brought up the fact that with that type of drinking comes the possibility of rape, pregnancy and even death by accident.  As a parent, I was amazed that you let the girls mother off the hook as she seemed to condone what her daughter was doing as she had this grin throughout the show. Sometimes I think Dr Phil needs to show the people interviewed that the audience is in aggreement or disagreement with them.  They were definitely in disagreement with this young 17 year old!
 
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January 22, 2008, 8:20 pm PST

Repercussions of MySpace and FaceBook Phots

These girls do not realize that not only are they ruining their chances for a good job, a good school, or a career in any military service if chosen, they are also putting their lives in danger.  Pedofiles and Sex Offenders prey on those sites for vulnerable girls to take advantage of.  They will see how inibriated these women are getting and how they are passing out in odd public places.  Easy access for kidnapping and all the other horrible things that happen to individuals not being aware of their surroundings or what they post for the entire world to see.

 

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January 22, 2008, 8:27 pm PST

01/15 Internet Mistakes

I

I just viewed the Internet Mistakes show today.  I was a bit taken aback from several aspects.  There fine line that is so apparent it is scary.  I just can’t help but think, isn’t it better to side on the more moral or responsible side of things than what the opposite could be?

 

Bottom line, I think it boils down to respect and responsibility... Let me explain:

 

I saw and heard every word that the 17 year old was saying.  In my opinion she neither respected herself nor expressed any responsibility for herself.  You could see it in how she carried herself and looked at those around her.  Deep down, I think she saw she had a problem, but had never been taught the appropriate way to handle herself.  I was appalled at the lack of intervention from her mother.  At the age of 15 she became aware of her daughter’s drinking, yet it still continues.  She was not aware of the extent of her FACE BOOK account.  I think this family helps to display the very wrong turn that is happening in our society.  Firstly, never would my parents have allowed any actions such as drinking underage or inappropriate language towards others.  This mother didn’t seem to bat an eye.  As a teacher, I see this decline in our family connections grow each year.  The behaviors and attitudes of children become more “in your face” while we have less parental support.  I feel for this family, and I hope that this show can be a wake up call.  This young child is on a path of destruction, they just don’t see it yet.  At this point, it is like she said; it is just cute fun and games.  This attitude shows that she is still not old enough to make long term decisions that will impact her life.

 

The substitute teacher is another story.  It is true that as teachers, we are held to a higher moral standing.  This means inside and outside the classroom.  If I was a drunk, do you think you would want me as your child’s teacher?  I know I wouldn’t want that for my own children.  This young man has an outside career, so many of us do. (To help make ends meet).  That outside career must not put the first priority in jeopardy.  This is how I see this situation.  He is in a position of authority.  He works with older students that… like to see the language flow.  How can he correct them if he too uses that language?  Double standard?  Yes, you can argue that there is a time and a place, but that can be as weak as the person who needs to use that kind of language to get their message across.  He had his warning from the school board after the first termination and re-hire.  When he chose to repost his ‘music’ he basically slapped the school board in the face.  (TIP…They don’t like that kind of behavior).  He should have been fired after the second time.  Not only did he repost his original music, but he added nudity to a site that he was aware students of his were viewing.  He needs to think, why is it he wants to work for the schools?  Is it the time, love of the learning process, or working with kids?  We all know that it is not for the money!  I made more money bartending and waiting tables part time, than I do as a full time teacher.  My suggestion, bartend where they have visiting bands.  Maybe someone of importance will see you and help you on your path.

 

We overall should be asking ourselves some basic questions to answer the Internet Mistakes debate.  What kind of person do I want in charge of my mortgage, credit cards, children, sales person, et.  If an employer wants to use public access to find out more about your character, than go for it.  I would rather know that the person taking personal information over the phone, or completing my medical information have a sense of respect and responsibility for themselves.  (Respect meaning that they don’t advertise their misjudgments in a public forum)  If they show that restraint, than perhaps they will show that respect and responsibility toward my needs. 

 

One more comment.  The young girl who opposed the FACE BOOK site.  While at first she seemed to have her act together and appeared to have a strong head on her shoulders, really upset me at the end of the show.  I am sure she did not mumble to the other child about being eaten alive on the show.  I am more likely to believe that it went down as first described.  The way she stumbled over herself to “get out of the situation” made that clear.  I was very pleased when Dr. Phil put her in her place so to speak.  She didn’t add anything of value when the other young lady was on the stage.  In that one fell swoop, my opinion diminished of her greatly.

 

 
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January 22, 2008, 9:21 pm PST

01/15 Internet Mistakes

Quote From: chinduck29

I have a profile on both Myspace and Facebook.  Both places have a warning about posting inappropriate pictures and nudity whether it is in pictures or videos, however, with millions of people on both sites, it's very difficult to police.  That's why the sites also request its users to report such abuse.  It will then be investigated and the users and profiles removed and banned.  IT DOES WORK!  I've had to use it myself because of friend requests that were porn related.

 

The substitute teacher is wrong with  the postings that he has on Myspace.  If he is in a position of working with children no matter what the age, then he has to police his actions.  These kids will look up to him and see that he is advocating nudity and foul language in his music then this must be OK for them.  If he wants to do his music, I believe he can do it without the vulgarity or inappropriate videos and still have the same effect .  There are many artists out there who do and enjoy immense success.

 

 

The substitute teacher wanted to know why his private interests and pursuits affect his job?

 

They don't. 

 

Video recording and then posting them on Myspace or Facebook makes them public!  He turned his "private" pursuits "public" and promoting and he can no longer call them "private".

 
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January 22, 2008, 11:38 pm PST

Internet-public bad deeds

A little piece of advice ladies: make it private. Not everyone is worthy of seeing your drunken conquests online. Particularly not the president of your University, the principal of your school, your mom and dad, the neighborhood sex offender, your potential employer. They all like the internet too. Remember those 'Hi, Sara' commercials? They are too accurate. Each of these websites has a privacy setting. Use it.

 
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January 23, 2008, 8:14 pm PST

Silly

I really think that the whole debate about the group "30 Reasons A Girl Should Call It A Night," is really silly. Personally, I belong to the group b/c I am at that age where my friends and I go out and party, but I wouldn't ever post any pictures of myself on there. However, if a girl chooses to post a picture of herself on there, I think that's her choice to be stupid and let everyone see her being a drunken idiot. As for Amanda and whatever the other girl's name was: Amanda talks about maturity, and yet she is continuing to argue with someone she's never even met via facebook. It's my personaly opinion that she should worry about herself and just forget about what's her name. As for what's her name (I'm sorry, I really can't remember the other girl's name), it sounds like she really does have a drinking problem. I knew kids in high school with drinking problems and as serios as it is for an adult, it seems even worse for a person of that age.
 
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January 24, 2008, 8:25 pm PST

Who is Being Harmed/Who Cares?

Quote From: jenny0727

By no means do I think these pictures are something to be proud of, but sometimes in this cruel world one needs to step back and look at things they have done and say gosh that was dumb and have a laugh.  I dont want to put pictures of myself on the internet, but i am a shy person. Other people, however are not and as long as no one is being harmed WHO CARES! I hope any future employers will take the word of my references and past employers and resume!! And not go digging around in my personal life for a reason not to hire me!! Now the whole Mary situation is something totally different. That poor girl needs to get help before she is killed in a car wreck, raped one night while she is drunk or any of the number of things that can happen to a young girl. She is so young and doesnt know the damage she is doing to her liver and the long term effects it will have on her body!! The Amanda girl really made me mad!! She should spend all this time and energy that she is using on this crap feeding starving children or workig in a soup kitchen!! I just dont see where she gets off budding in these peoples business?? She really needs to get a LIFE and stop worring about other peoples espeacially something so unimportant as pictures that people took!! If they bother her that bad then she has the right to NOT look at them!!!

You asked: Who is being harmed? 

College Students

There are cases where students have been expelled from their college residence hall or university after school administrators found pictures of students to engaging in activities that were against university policies or the law.  Photos can be used as evidence in discipline hearing.  I am a university administrator and my school has asked us not to look on Facebook for infractions.  But if a photo has been brought to an administrator’s attention, the administrator has an ethical and legal duty to act.  If someone has provided an administrator a photo they found on a website of a student engaged in risky behavior—like binge drinking, the administrator is advised to act upon the information by some form of intervention.   If not, the school may be sued for negligence if the student is eventually injured by continuing the behavior.  If a student is expelled, no refund is given for the time they were in enrolled in the school. Some universities cost as high as $40,000 a year and many students accummulate a hefty student loan debt just to attend college.

 

If a student has an underage drinking violation while in college it can stay on his academic record.  Underage drinking convictions or violations can bar a student from entering law or med school and can prevent them from studying abroad.  

 

Potential College Students

I do not know if admission officers look at Facebook or MySpace for more information about potential students.  Based on Mary’s presentation on the show, I would have doubts that a college admission officer would view Mary a potential prospect for their future Freshman class.  She may be a bright student with a high GPA and SAT score.  She have excellent references.  If a school knows that a student is engaging in binge underage drinking in high school, then that student becomes a liability to the campus community.  Campus administrators, police, and residence hall advisors are constantly battling the binge drinking culture on campus.  Colleges can manage the problem by refusing to admit students who already have a troubled history with alcohol.  Admissions officers may or may not look at these websites, but I would advise high school students not to risk their college careers for the thrill of posting a photo on the internet. 

 

Colleges and Universities

At one university athletes posted pictures of the team on Facebook engaged in hazing activities. The incident made national news and created a public relations nightmare for the school.  When the school’s reputation is damaged, alumni donations and endowments to the school decline.  With less money, funds are not available for scholarships, academic programs and research.  The publicity surrounding the scandal impacted the team and individual players. Player who were not involved in the hazing were personally demorallized and depressed.  This is a prime example how posting personal photo can have major consequences.

Read this article.

http://media.www.gwhatchet.com/media/storage/paper332/news/2007/01/29/News/Facebook.Big.Brother.Administrators.Coaches.Keep.Tabs.On.Students.Online.Activit-2682532.shtml

 

You asked: WHO CARES?

I care as a university administrator who wants to insure all my students have a chance to develop themselves to their highest potential as human beings.  I care because I want nothing to hinder their path towards their chosen graduate program, internship, or career.  I care because want to teach them about the consequences of their actions so they do not have to learn from their tragic mistakes.  

 

If parents are concerned about their child’s future and want them to thrive in college or in their job positions, they would care too.  Most involved parents teach their children that the behavior they present on the internet is open for public display with an audience of millions.   Young people need to know that interacting on the web requires a sense of personal and communal responsibilities. If we can teach that lesson now, we can provide them a life where they are judged by their good deeds and hard work, instead of one act of stupidity.

 

 

 
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