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Topic : 03/27 "Get Your Act Together!"

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Created on : Friday, January 11, 2008, 01:06:43 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 01/17/07) Most kids dream of growing up and moving away from home, but what happens when your adult children still haven’t flown the coop? Amanda, her husband, Mike, and their baby are all living in her parents’ tiny three-bedroom apartment. Amanda’s sister, Heather, says Mike and Amanda are so disrespectful to her mom, Brenda, and stepdad, Mike, that they need to be kicked to the curb! Heather says Amanda is lazy, and Mike lost his job as a correctional officer when he was convicted of selling drugs to the inmates! Brenda says she can’t bear the thought of her daughter and grandchild living on the street. Can Dr. Phil get her to cut the purse strings? Then, Brianne has been with her boyfriend, Greg, for nine years and says he’s the biggest mooch she’s ever met. Greg has never paid rent and admits he’s had between 50 and 75 jobs in the last six years. Brianne’s Aunt Terri says Greg is a lazy loser, and she’s sick of his excuses. Will Greg be able to get on his feet, or should Brianne cut her losses and move on? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.

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lalalalala

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January 17, 2008, 12:40 pm PST

What happens when.........

ok so what happens when you 24 yrs old and want to move out and have your own life but your mother wont let you??

my parents divorced a few yrs ago and since then my mom has leaned on me as if i was her husband, i finally got an apt with out her knowing and just told her one day that i was moving out then she refused to speak to me for 3 months! i have a full time job and pay all my own bills i have a college degree and no criminal record, no kids, no evidence of bad decisions in the past, i hardly even drink but still she makes me feel like im a bad person for "not being there to take care of her" the problem with being there is that i cannot date from there because she feels as though i am "cheating" on her if i have a boyfriend

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aclady927

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January 17, 2008, 12:46 pm PST

5.00 a night motel / projects

Dr. Phil

I lived in the projects all my life. I raised 3 very bright children. All with good jobs and 2 with beautiful children. And still my husband and I reside in the projects. there is not one thing wrong with living in projects. Thank you

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sfree04

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January 17, 2008, 12:58 pm PST

Lazy Men and Low Women

As Dr. Phil has stated many, many times: you show people how to treat you. These women are making me very angry. I'm not going to argue about feeding our son while you're not working and we all live in your mothers house!! I'm not getting together with a man that does NOTHING and coming home from work to be spoken disreapectivly. Hell no!! I am a women grown. My child needs a commetted, faithful role model and if my husband or boyfriend can't do it, I'll do it myself, by myself! I'm so tired of these women getting on this show and not taking responsibilty for the families that they've created. It is not an option that if my husband doesn't work then maybe I'll work. We'll all work if that's what it takes. In the second segment the women was taking her child to daycare while her husband stayed home. That's CRAZY!! Kick his ass out, and get on with you life!!

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danalyjos71

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January 17, 2008, 1:00 pm PST

What wrong with her getting a job???

On the first segment I am surprised at how many times Dr. Phil told the husband and not the wife to get a job and then when the wife said her husband needs to get a job because she needs to stay home and take care of their son he didn't jump in. HELLO... this is 2008, not 1948!! What's wrong with her getting a job too?????? The husbands' complaint was that $8.00 was not enough to get a place of their own, but if she made $8.00/hr for 8 hours and then he went of to work doing the same for 8 hours they would be able to afford something. Come on!!! For years my husband and I would work opposite shifts so that we didn't have to pay for day care or worry about who was caring for our son. There were times it seemed like tag team racing as we passed each other with a quick kiss at the door. I worked through the middle of the night and then came home just as my 1 year old was waking up and then had to care for him. We did it and I can't believe that on the show not one person said anything like this when the wife was doing nothing but pointing her finger at her husband. What's wrong with her lazy butt????? Once again, it's 2008!!!!!!!

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jaimie1974

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January 17, 2008, 1:02 pm PST

Gramma

Quote From: shorty53

My youngest son and his girlfriend put us through hell when the lived here. Treated our home like a hotel, expected 5 star accomodations, didnt lift a finger to help here or keep their area of the house decent. We finally threw them out, they went through evictions at other places, were taken to court, had to live in seedy "pay by the day" motels, i had police at my door several times a week looking for them because they owed money somewhere. My husband and I ended up with legal custody of their now 6 yr old son. We adore him, but i will never have my own life again. All the rest of my days will be taken up raising another child, by the time he is old enough to be on his own, we will be too old to enjoy anything. My son and the g/f now have a place of their own and each has a job, but have made no attempts to reclaim their child. They are totally enjoying themselves and the freedom they have with no responsibilities. I cant put into words the resentment I feel toward them when im running down the hall at nite to comfort a child with bad dreams, or standing in the freezing cold waiting for a school bus to arrive, washing loads of little jeans and shirts, doing homework, and all the other things my son should be doing. I would love to just be Gramma.

I know this must be very difficult for you and your husband, but I urge you to focus on the positive things in your life.
When your grandchild is old enough to be on his own, you will still be able to enjoy life! This little boy needs you, and he is lucky enough to have you there to comfort him; I believe everything happens for a reason. This little one has been put in your hands, you are going to shape and mold him into a happy, healthy, productive citizen. This is a lot of responsibility and effort, but when you reap the rewards and feel the joy deep within your heart, you’ll know it was well worth it.
Yes, it is sad and sick that your son and his girlfriend won’t take responsibility. Someday, they will realize what a terrible mistake they’ve made; but for now, they are focused solely on themselves and their ‘needs.’ I wish you the very best in life and urge you to focus on the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives- best wishes!

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melly987

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January 17, 2008, 1:03 pm PST

Moms can work too!

I am outraged at what I saw on the show today. I don't normally watch TV during this time of day, but as I heard a woman say something like she had to quit her job to "take care" of her son because her husband doesn't have a job and he wasn't taking care of the baby....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! If he isn't working then quitting your job is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard of!

I am very passionate about this topic because I found myself pregnant in January 2007 and we now have a beautiful 4 month old baby boy. My boyfriend and I got an apartment in April, he works as a plumber's apprentice and i as a waitress. We keep opposite schedules so we don't need to work out daycare. I can watch Tommy during the day while he is at work, and he watches him 4-5 nights a week while i wait tables. So, I would like to know why both of them don't work? I didn't think it was really an option these days to only have one parent working, but IF you can afford it then thats great... YOU TWO CANNOT AFFORD IT!

Tell these two to get up and BOTH get jobs....since when is it only the mans responsibility to earn a wage? Don't you want more for yourself and your child? Take some pride in yourself and get off your *** and if that means both of you flip burgers on opposite shifts then so be it.

People like you two make me sick....what are you going to say next, that life isn't fair. Welcome to adulthood, fun isn't it?

Melissa

age 27

working MOM with a 4 month old

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jaimie1974

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January 17, 2008, 1:06 pm PST

twisted

Quote From: ampugs

What do you do when the mother won't allow the son to use the phone, go out of the house, get a driver's license, or go anywhere without her? He's 36 years old, but regresses to about 6 when she starts in on him. He's not allowed to have friends. He works full time. He gives her most of his money. Most of the time she sits in the driveway where he works so he doesn't talk to anyone else. She has him completely intimidated. A little bit of a twist on this topic.

This is a lot of a twist! You’ve described an overbearing, manipulative mother who craves complete control. She will have that complete control unless/until her grown son makes the decision to get out. What would happen if he didn’t give her most of his money? What would happen if he made a secret plan to ‘escape,’ if he had someone helping him save money towards that goal?
Is this a friend of yours?

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kimikki

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January 17, 2008, 1:09 pm PST

Get your act together

Two weeks after I graduated high school, my mom said I needed to find a place in town. She wasn't kicking me out, but I had a job, and no car; I needed to be closer to my job. I moved and haven't looked back. At one time, my daughter and I needed a place for two months and Mom let us stay with her. It was agreed that it was only two months, and we stuck to that agreement. Life hasn't always been easy, we lived on state assistance for a while. Now I own my own home, my daughter has put herself through college and has a career, a home and a family of her own. It can be done! Get those kids motivated. Quit mollycoddling them and make them do things for themselves, quit holding their hands through all of what they do.

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kimikki

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January 17, 2008, 1:12 pm PST

01/17 "Get Your Act Together!"

Quote From: lalalalala

ok so what happens when you 24 yrs old and want to move out and have your own life but your mother wont let you??

Good for you!!! It may have taken a little subterfuge, but it worked for you. Because of bad decisions on her part, my sister and my dad didn't talk for almost two years. They've both gotten over it, and now have a terrific relationship. Give your mom time. She'll figure it out. Just keep the lines of communication open. Be ready when she decides that it's time to let you have your own life and mend those fences.

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ramair

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January 17, 2008, 1:12 pm PST

01/17 "Get Your Act Together!"

Mike and Amanda are both full of it. An $8 an hour job is "beneath" him. If breaking the law, smuggling illegal drugs into the prison, where he worked, were beneath him, his job opportunities wouldn't be limited to flipping burgers. And, if Amanda weren't such a lazy, lying hypocrite, she would've continued working after her baby was born. To take care of him? Part of taking care of a baby is providing for him. By getting a job. Since Mike's past criminal behavior is keeping him from getting a well-paying job, Amanda needs to get one. And, Mike needs to get whatever he can. And, move up from there. Amanda hasn't been taking care of her baby, anyway. She's been putting that off on her mother. Who ought to keep the baby. And, kick Mike and Amanda out. Necessity is the mother of invention. When Mike and Amanda have to fend for themselves, they'll take jobs digging ditches, if that's the only employment they can find.

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