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Topic : 03/27 "Get Your Act Together!"

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Created on : Friday, January 11, 2008, 01:06:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/17/07) Most kids dream of growing up and moving away from home, but what happens when your adult children still haven’t flown the coop? Amanda, her husband, Mike, and their baby are all living in her parents’ tiny three-bedroom apartment. Amanda’s sister, Heather, says Mike and Amanda are so disrespectful to her mom, Brenda, and stepdad, Mike, that they need to be kicked to the curb! Heather says Amanda is lazy, and Mike lost his job as a correctional officer when he was convicted of selling drugs to the inmates! Brenda says she can’t bear the thought of her daughter and grandchild living on the street. Can Dr. Phil get her to cut the purse strings? Then, Brianne has been with her boyfriend, Greg, for nine years and says he’s the biggest mooch she’s ever met. Greg has never paid rent and admits he’s had between 50 and 75 jobs in the last six years. Brianne’s Aunt Terri says Greg is a lazy loser, and she’s sick of his excuses. Will Greg be able to get on his feet, or should Brianne cut her losses and move on?  Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.


 
moodymitzy
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January 17, 2008, 1:21 pm PST

01/17 "Get Your Act Together!"

Quote From: kimikki

Two weeks after I graduated high school, my mom said I needed to find a place in town. She wasn't kicking me out, but I had a job, and no car; I needed to be closer to my job. I moved and haven't looked back. At one time, my daughter and I needed a place for two months and Mom let us stay with her. It was agreed that it was only two months, and we stuck to that agreement. Life hasn't always been easy, we lived on  state assistance for a while. Now I own my own home, my daughter has put herself through college and has a career, a home and a family of her own. It can be done! Get those kids motivated. Quit mollycoddling them and make them do things for themselves, quit holding their hands through all of what they do.
I was kicked out a few weeks before graduation mainly because the child suppost checks ran out. I made it on my own, I struggled and am still struggling with some things but I can take care of myself. I would also not do that to my child. I actually love my child. What I think more parents need to do is prepare their kids to be adults. Get them ready while in high school. I am currently raising my sixteen year old sister and I tell her that if she goes to college then we will help her in anyway we can but if she does not go then she is on her own. If she stays with me she would have to pay rent.
 
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ramair
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January 17, 2008, 1:24 pm PST

01/17 "Get Your Act Together!"

Quote From: melly987

I am outraged at what I saw on the show today.  I don't normally watch TV during this time of day, but as I heard a woman say something like she had to quit her job to "take care" of her son because her husband doesn't have a job and he wasn't taking care of the baby....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!  If he isn't working then quitting your job is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard of! 

 

I am very passionate about this topic because I found myself pregnant in January 2007 and we now have a beautiful 4 month old baby boy.  My boyfriend and I got an apartment in April, he works as a plumber's apprentice and i as a waitress.   We keep opposite schedules so we don't need to work out daycare.  I can watch Tommy during the day while he is at work, and he watches him 4-5 nights a week while i wait tables.  So, I would like to know why both of them don't work?  I didn't think it was really an option these days to only have one parent working, but IF you can afford it then thats great... YOU TWO CANNOT AFFORD IT! 

 

Tell these two to get up and BOTH get jobs....since when is it only the mans responsibility to earn a wage?  Don't you want more for yourself and your child?  Take some pride in yourself and get off your ***  and if that means both of you flip burgers on opposite shifts then so be it. 

 

People like you two make me sick....what are you going to say next, that life isn't fair.  Welcome to adulthood, fun isn't it?

 

Melissa

age 27

working MOM with a 4 month old

 Amanda is lazy, pure and simple. Said she quit working to watch her son grow up. And, that's what she's been doing, sitting on the couch, watching her son grow up. And, her mother take care of him. Yet, has the nerve to use him as a pawn. No, her parents don't want to see their grandson living under a bridge. But, they don't have to. They could keep their grandson while Mike and Amanda lived under the bridge. CPS would insist on it.
 
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shrimpety
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January 17, 2008, 1:26 pm PST

it starts with the parents

my parents raised us with the clear expectation that as adults we would be self-supporting. it was plain and simple - make your choices but make sure you can support yourself.
 
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amiller212008
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January 17, 2008, 1:31 pm PST

where do u find these people?

Im watching the show at this very moment and im laughing so hard i almost peed my pants!!!

When my daughter was born i rented a 2bdroom apartment and worked two jobs. its part of the responsibility of having kids. Yes i had help, i signed up for state assistance on daycare and my parents babysat sometimes 8hrs in one day. but i was never a mooch. i dont kno where these people get off just living on a living room floor?!? Invading her parents space and taking advantage of them.

Dr. Phil if you ever want to do a show on strong willed women contact me!!
 
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oshea5
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January 17, 2008, 1:38 pm PST

Love this topic

My hubby's sister who is 37, still lives with my in-laws. My In laws are 68/70 years old. My SIL works full time, but has no future. She is also lazy, my FIL is the one doing dishes and cleaning the house during the day, because he is retired. My MIL still works full time. When my in-laws are gone from this earth, she will be in a quandary as to where she will live. My husband and I will NOT take her in, and my hubby's other sister wont take her in either. My SIL has no clue how to live on her own. When my in-laws come to visit us, the SIL comes along without being invited by us. She doesn't have the maturity to pick up the phone and ask. We live 300+ miles away. I think we deserve to hear from her. She waits for my in-laws to tell her what to do. Its not that we don't ever want her here, but she needs to speak for herself. My hubby wants to take her aside and tell her to step up to the plate. Thats why shows of this topic are so close to home for me.I always want to call my FIL and tell him to watch, but he would get mad at me. The future is going to be interesting to say the least. Can't wait!
 
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mslinda59
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January 17, 2008, 1:45 pm PST

In agreement, but....

I am in total agreement with Dr. Phil about the couple to get out and get a job!  But what agency does a person go to if they can not find a job on their own?  There is a young man 25 years of age who has looked for a job in Grand Prairie, TX.  Unfortunately he has a 2nd degree felony on his record and no driver’s license. He has applied at several fast food chains/franchises all say they do not hire someone with a felony conviction on their record.  He has gone to Project Rio for the State of Texas and all they did was speak to him in a ugly way…. Say “you convicts come last, just sit down.”  So my question is where in the world do felons find a job if a state agency doesn’t even care?  I would love to know what agency Dr. Phil turns to that will help this gentleman find a job. 

 
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oldbroadinbigd
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January 17, 2008, 2:00 pm PST

Buzz Words for This Show

 

Enabler: - parents, grandparents, usually MOTHERS of adult children who perpetuate the situations by allowing themselves to be taken advantage of - all in the name of LOVE

 

Emotional blackmail:  Using a child to emotionally blackmail a parent - this is right on, too, because what grandparent (especially GrandMOTHER) would want their grandchildren on the street?

 

It is not mean and cruel to raise your children with the constant that they are to develop skills, obtain educational goals and make smart choices in order for them to be self-sufficient to lead an authentic life.

 

I know what I'm talking about, people.  4 years ago when my m-i-l was dying and we had to evict her alcohol and meth-addicted 48 year old loser of a son (and his illegimate young son) who lived off her, trashed her 4 bedroom suburban home into squalor, jacked her ATM for $300 every 3 days yet there was never food in the house, etc.    He didn't last 5 months in the apartment we fronted him the money for - was evicted by the time we moved her into a nursing home - if we hadn't sold her home so quickly (thank you, God, you always come through!), his plan was to just slink back in there - I'm cutting this off now but, believe me, my husband (the good son) and I pleaded with her for years (because she was just heartsick about how he was leading his life) to cut him loose but she was a classic enabler under the guise of MOTHER LOVE and didn't want  her grandchild to suffer - she did this guy no favor at all. 

 

P.S. - I realize when addictions are involved, that ramps up the problems but why do you think a lot of these people don't have any money - even if their addictions are just cigarettes?

 

 
 
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mimiskb
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January 17, 2008, 2:01 pm PST

Was this about me?

I'm LIVING this woman's life.  My daughter met a guy the week before she turned 17, and he was 21.  Four months later, she was pregnant with her 1st baby, and the NEXT year she was pregnant with her second.  They have been evicted 4 times in the past year alone.  I have refused to let them live with me, because he refuses to work, sleeps until noon, they have horrendous fights.  His family says we are nonsupportive, even though I paid for a wedding .... but they FORGOT the marriage license and didn't tell me until the day of the wedding, which went on but didn't count.  The 2 babies are now ages 4 and 2-1/2.  Last month, after yet another eviction (they move in with his grandmother), my daughter was arrested for holding some drugs for him, and he failed a drug test (she passed).  CPS was called by someone, a meeting was held with the family, which exploded into a full-blown rage at me, since they thought I was probably the one who called.  Our side of the family was immediately cut-off from the boys, the CPS worker quit because of the shock and distress over the meeting, and I didn't get any contact with the boys for 3 weeks.  Finally, we are allowed to see them again, but they are once again on the verge of eviction, CPS has apparently lost interest, and I would never EVER recommend getting them involved again because they didn't do anything and the babies almost lost the only sane contacts they have.  I don't know what the answer is, but my heart goes out to this poor woman who is being held hostage by her love for her grandbaby.  Be very careful about following Dr. Phil's advice about evicting them, because the very first thing your daughter and SIL will do is punish you and the child by keeping you from having contact, and if CPS does take the child from them, they WILL eventually get the child back, and it will be the last time you see him.  Let me know if you ever find the answer.  Right now, I'm holding my breath to see what happens next, as yet another screaming fight will be taking place soon, and it's just something my grandsons have to live with. 
 
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poetrob
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January 17, 2008, 2:04 pm PST

What if Son Wants to Work & get out

Here is a scenario:

 

What if the son wants to work and get out? Unfortunately his parents are successful at blocking his

efforts. They go out of their way to stop him including accusing him of being mentally ill and incompetent.

No one has ever made such a diagnosis and no one questions the claims.

 

The son knows it is a buch of dung and his parents are lieing but no one asks him for his input.

The son finds himself being illegaly forced to remain in their custody with no options whatso ever.

The son is now on anti depressants and his parents don't even get involved in his treatment. They

stay in the background running his life or ruining it by denying him the right to to make his own decisions.

 

Here's the kicker, they don't have legal rights of him.

 

The son knows that he should be working and supporting himself especially since his parents aren't

able to. He needs legal help and can't get it. Basically he is screwed on every front when he attempts

to make the right decisions.

 

What if parents just refuse to let go.
 
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slee240
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January 17, 2008, 2:12 pm PST

I can relate

My Sister-in-law has a boyfriend just like this guy, only her boyfriend wants to be a pro-bowler. He refuses to get a job and they have a second child on the way.  My Mother-in-law is supporting her daughter and her babys financialy.  This situation makes me very angry.  My Sister-in-law is to blame as well for continuing this relationship and continuing to have sex with a looser!
 
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