I have a 26 year old daughter that has two small children, ages 4 and 2 years old. They were not planned, but how many of us plan children when we have them? My daughter's husband is a lazy slob that does nothing in life other than plan video games, and scream and yell. It is like living in a war zone.
They lived with his parents when they were dating in order to keep expenses down. They were both college students at the time. Then came the first granddaughter and my daugther thought getting married was the right thing to do. Wrong answer. Her in-laws talked them into staying with them, even after the first child was born, so they could finish their education. My daughter has continued her education, but her husband will never finish. He is just lazy. I cannot tell you in the 5 years they have been together how many jobs this so called man has had. He cannot take supervision and either quits the job or gets fired.
After my oldest granddaughter was 1 year old, my daughter wanted to go to work, still work on her education, but have an income in order for them to get their own apartment. She was sick and tired of living with her in-laws. Her in-laws said she was a bad Mother if she left her child to get a job (her husband's Mother had never worked a day in her life, and that pretty much included raising 4 sons. His Father did everything, worked, grocery shopped, cooked, laundry, everything. She was just lazy.) But my daughter's husband had no ambition whatsoever to leave his parents home. He just kept getting jobs and losing them. My daughter was the slave in the house. Did everything for everyone. I kept telling hisparents that they were just enabling these kids to fail.
My daughter was not raised like that. She was raised with morals and values, responsibilities and discipline. I pretty much raised her on my own when she was barely 4 years old. My husband and I were together for 17 years, but went down the wrong paths in life and just forgot to meet in the middle. But, my husband was never a lazy man. He worked, helped 50-50 with everything in the household chores, whether it was before our child was born or after. It did not make any difference what the chore was, we shared and traded off week by week on who did what. We both held full time jobs, good jobs I might add, and managed to have careers and raise a child. Did that make us bad parents? No would be my answer. In fact, I think it made us BETTER parents. We never mooched off our parents or family. We lived 5,000 miles away from any family whatsoever. Our child was a happy child. No screaming, yelling, verbal abuse, nothing. Not ever.
Finally, after my daughter had the second granddaughter, she had enough of raising two little ones on her own, being a slave and no future ahead of her. She got a job and started saving money. She wanted out of her in-laws house. In the meantime, her husband quit his job - right after she started working - and did not work for over a year. That is when she took the girls and left. I took my daughter and her girls in with a timeframe and a time limit. She had applied for an apartment and they were waiting for a vacancy to come through. In the meantime, my lazy son-in-law finally got the concept. Get a job or you won't have a family. Now where do you think he went to get a job? The same place my daughter worked. Now how dumb is that? He is a very needy person and wants to be around her 24/7. That may work for some people, but I don't know many. He wants a Mother, not a wife. He still sits around playing video games all the time, never helps with the girls, is a slob, and a verbally abusive husband and so called Father.
Maybe someday my daughter will see the light and get out. Until then, I just keep asking her, what are you going to do about it, when she comes complaining to me about her life, her husband, etc.
She has lost most of her friends at work because absolutely no one can stand her husband. Being together as a couple and a family is a good thing, but you need interests outside your marriage to be happy in your inner self.
My husband and I always had a rule. We had our "couple" friends, we had our date nights out together and we had boys night and girls night out as well. It made for a healthy relationship. You do not have to be with your children or your spouse 24/7. It made us a better couple and made us really appreciate the precious time we did have with our daughter and each other. We worked hard to keep money in the bank, lived in a nice home and had a good child that was taught right from wrong.
Don't let your children mooch off you and think you are doing them a favor. You are just ENABLING THEM TO FAIL.
(Original Air Date: 01/17/07) Most kids dream of growing up and moving away from home, but what happens when your adult children still haven’t flown the coop? Amanda, her husband, Mike, and their baby are all living in her parents’ tiny three-bedroom apartment. Amanda’s sister, Heather, says Mike and Amanda are so disrespectful to her mom, Brenda, and stepdad, Mike, that they need to be kicked to the curb! Heather says Amanda is lazy, and Mike lost his job as a correctional officer when he was convicted of selling drugs to the inmates! Brenda says she can’t bear the thought of her daughter and grandchild living on the street. Can Dr. Phil get her to cut the purse strings? Then, Brianne has been with her boyfriend, Greg, for nine years and says he’s the biggest mooch she’s ever met. Greg has never paid rent and admits he’s had between 50 and 75 jobs in the last six years. Brianne’s Aunt Terri says Greg is a lazy loser, and she’s sick of his excuses. Will Greg be able to get on his feet, or should Brianne cut her losses and move on? Tell us what you think.
