Topic : 01/23 Con Artists and Thieves

Wondering if compulsive stealing is connected to OCD in some way? A subcategory?  My first thought while watching this show is how it seems similiar to people who hoard things.  Neither type really need this stuff, but they're compelled to do it...The illegality of it all makes a dramatic difference in how we view it, but with both, their functionality is disrupted. 

I could be talking out of my ear, but I'm curious as to what the professionals would say to this.

Dear Dr. Phil, staff and "a concerned viewer,'

I think that yes, Dr. Phil, despite your openly displayed anger and disgust with "Casey" on the show, you really and TRULY missed the point that he, his brothers, and many who yes, have this affliction / disease / disorder / problem / addiction / prediliction / compulsion.... want, intend and desperately would wish others could and would help them to understand... WHY. It would have been SO insightful, positive, uplifting, helpful, THERAPEUTIC (even though a ratings-based television program meant to help AND entertain....) to acknowledge what he was telling you from the point of  view of a THERAPEUTIC endeavor. This approach, which I'd always presumed and hoped your program and intentions were and are, would actually have HELPED. Instead, you utterly dismissed him as a selfish and 'lazy' person who simply felt 'entitled' to things... which may have been partially or totally true, but which is only PART of what he may have been experiencing.

I can tell you from firsthand, DAILY experience, that the rants here on this website in response to Casey and the other profiled individuals, but *especially* to Casey's story in particular, are not even remotely touching upon the actual PROBLEM that is being identified. Really.

Dr. Phil, and staff, (and Oprah, your friend, who uses many of the same pieces of analysis and examination that you do, obviously, in terms of identifying one's own culpability in 'owning one's behavior and choices...) this 'disorder' or 'disease' or 'problem' is not only very VERY real, very VERY humiliating, embarassing, shameful, horrifying and self-destructive, but *****causes the perpetrator, (YES, the law-breaker, for those of you intent on pointing out the obvious!) to literally HATE oneself,***** for all they are doing, DESPERATELY *WISH* they could and would simply "STOP" doing (PLEASE!!!) and causes utter despair, deeply painful, self loathing thoughts and repetitive, dehabilitating grief and depression about the "choices" one has made.

I *personally* can assure you that NO ONE except someone like Casey, (and there are many MANY others 'out there' that people don't even realize are your own neighbors, friends and relatives, churchgoers, otherwise VERY respectable, honest and GOOD parents, friends, children and otherwise....) fight this battle every single day to YES, do the RIGHT thing, the GOOD thing, the PROPER thing, and of COURSE, the LEGAL, respectful and HONEST thing.

Despite what you may or may not think or believe, it has NOTHING to do with depriving others, store owners, large 'entity owners' of material goods (as Casey was in fact trying to describe) but about HATING *oneself* and putting ONESELF in (again) a self-loathing, self-hating, deeply troubling and tormented 'place' in order to hide, 'stuff',' ignore, quash or otherwise erase something, or years of things...

by essentially and quite literally (obviously) making choices that are not only self-destructive, offensive and unable to be explained in any logical way (as Casey was also trying to expound upon....) The victims are CERTAINLY right and obviously 'entitled' to anger, repayment, restitution, apologies, cessation of the activity  / actions concerned, of COURSE.... but that is not the issue at all. That is the result of the choice that was made, and the civil and legal 'correction' of the outward action. The individuals, corporations, and employees and public affected CERTAINLY have a VERY REAL, VERY APPROPRIATE and VERY UNDERSTANDABLE right and expectation to be ANGRY, resentful, upset, you name it, and even litigous, yes. Very much so. But in HELPING CASEY, Dr. Phil, as 'concerned viewer' alluded to, you completely and totally missed the  mark. I can ASSURE you that public (nationwide) 'indictment' of Casey and / or others similar to him will not HELP, STOP, REALIGN, or even REMOTELY enlighten him or anyone else who is definitely struggling in this or a very similar situation! These ARE loved people who do good things and can and often ARE 'respectable' people. Really and truly.

Dr. Phil, and staff, you missed this, missed it entirely, or at least, failed to acknowledge even a TINY part of what the "SYMPTOM" was of the very deep, very painful and very 'disturbing' problem or root was...

Again, his behavior and choices, although and of course are ***definitely*** WRONG and certainly have serious and 'appropriate' legal consequences, I can ASSURE you ... these individuals CAN be, many times ARE, and desperately TRY to live their lives very effectively, HONESTLY and openly, TRANSPARENTLY and even courageously yet all the while struggling (and failing, horrifyingly) daily and even from a moment to moment basis because they cannot get a GRIP on why these racing thoughts, emotions, and choices seem to CAUSE him to DO what he DOES. These demeanors (his speech, the amount of items in sheer quantity and ridiculousness of his items... ) are so FAMILIAR and "NORMAL" to ***ME**** that it's as if this person was in fact ME who came onto your show...

...and I couldn't have been more shocked and horrified than if I were seeing a MIRROR as I watched and heard him describe EXACTLY what I live with from moment to moment, day to day!!

Every single BREATH I TAKE becomes a challenge to just 'stop' as so many so glibly put it.

Casey's STEALING ****is**** 'shopping' to him, or DRINKING to an alcoholic, DRUG USE to a drug addict, or any VICE or COMPULSION to whomever has ONE... there is SO much that you didn't even touch on or help him with, Dr. Phil, and the hatred, disgust, anger is WELL understood, I can assure you.

But, you, and others who are so quick to judge (in this case) and who don't seem to have an ounce of empathy for someone who obviously has SO MUCH going on (in his mind, in his head, in his thoughts, emotions and mental processes) that he can't even *****wrap his mind around his own behavior and choices....***** just -----saddened me to my core----- and made me feel ever so much more hopeless in my OWN very VERY long, drawn out quest to be and live as a (YES!) GOOD (imagine that!!!) parent, child, spouse, partner, friend, citizen, worker, professional....

And with this impending and progressing morose conviction, "a concerned viewer" wrote that 'he would be a whole different perswon once he gets help....' I am so HOPEFUL that CASEY sees this somehow... is that even really a possibility or true? That medication can stop or cure these compulsions or behaviors?

If so, that is EARTH SHATTERING!!! At least to me, and I'd certainly hope, for and to Casey!!!

It's NOT about narcissism, greed, or getting 'something for nothing.' While of course that is HAPPENING... and is definitely WRONG, and should INDEED stop (!) Casey doesn't know HOW! Does an addict know how? Does a compulsive behavior individual "KNOW HOW" to "STOP" doing ANYTHING that is compulsive?

To help clarify this to others, let me say this; I personally got a "100 %" on a SHOPLIFTING CESSATION course I VOLUNTARILY found, researched and self-enrolled in after disgusting, shaming and horrifying mySELF yet again... and in this forum for whatever reason I can tell you that has NOT HELPED ME ONE IOTA. Not one bit. How sad and pathetic (and RIDICULOUS!) is that??!!

(Casey are you reading this? Are you able to? Can someone show it to him?????)

because Casey, I am here, at 1:49 a.m. while my own spouse is sleeping soundly next to me, (having no idea what I'm writing, looking at or thinking about.... talk about hidden lives!!) and I may be one of the few people in this world who UNDERSTANDS what you were trying to do (NOT to brag or get 'attention,' but to SCREAM FOR HELP because you're so disgusted, upset and frustrated with YOURSELF....) 

"Concerned viewer," I wish YOU were able to "JUMP RIGHT INTO" my LIFE and help ME, or would know someone who COULD, really and TRULY, because my current "HELPER" (yes, a "professional" who is supposed to have an advanced medical degree in pyschotherapy....) has currently and to date offered me "STOP" breathing techniques.... utterly inane. 

Like you, I am yelling, too. And writers and responders / viewers who feel so morally self-righteous, judgmental and 'horrified,' I AM TOO. At myself! And at and by Casey! But where does that get him, me, or YOU?????!!!!! And Dr. Phil, what did you present to your audience with this story in particular? That the "just stop it" technique is what he's supposed to do?!! Apparently, that's what many have taken from this, and oh, yes, that he should be treated with CONTEMPT, DISGUST, ANGER and HATRED. Wonderfully therapeutic, indeed. Makes me want to 'out' myself too.

But for me, unlike "Casey," (who I consider BRAVE for coming on national television and telling this horrific personal truth to millions, putting himSELF in the public pulpit of ridicule, ADDITIONAL shame and judgment... wow....) it's deeply personal, deeply private, and utterly, painfully, silent. I am not encouraged, uplifted, or hopeful AT ALL. I think I may be more committed than ever to 'suffer in silence" until I really have no more choices left to make because they've already all been made. Yes, by me. Because it feels THAT hopeless.

I hope you and your staff read this, that there is a taped and presented 'followup' or "Part Two" to Casey's story in particular, and that you are able to show the world who is watching what this may REALLY be about. I can tell you. I know it so well. Casey's not the jerk you and (it appears) the others here think he is... I believe that and don't know him from Adam. His choices are NOT excusable, are HORRIBLE, and are definitely in need of serious accountability... AND he needs HELP. Right now. Much like my  very own, REAL LIFE, RIGHT NOW life scenario and myself. 

Listening to this show and watching these thieves, makes me angry.  Not to be racist, but I truly believe that they get away with it, because while they are over yonder pilfering these business and getting away with it, the people who are being carefully watched and followed are blacks and other ethnic minority.  Specifically a black person enters a store he is being followed and carefully watched, yet whites shoplift more freqently and steals larger and more expensive items.  A survey was done a few year ago  which was made public on 20/20 showing that whites shoplift more than any other race, yet they are never closely watched when they enter these businesses.

If my son enters a store he would be followed and watched, yet he is one of the most honest persons I know.  It happened when he was younger and we were together, and I had to tell the store clerk to take a good look at him, because he would never steal from this store or any other.  He needs to go watch his white counterparts who are on the other side pilfering and leave us alone. 

That girl who thinks that she is not jail material, needs to do time.  If you are a thief, you are jail material.  Apparently Dr. Phil thinks that he can save the world, by getting all these low-down white trash on his show and then tell them that he can supply them with the resourses they need to do and get better and then readily assume that they are not bad people.  Most of them I think, just find a reason to be on TV, because they have been doing whatever they are doing for their whole lives. Why do you think they are going to ever change?