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Topic : 01/24 "I Want Out!"

Number of Replies: 161
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Created on : Friday, January 18, 2008, 02:26:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
When couples tie the knot, they vow to stay together "'til death do us part," but what happens when a marriage takes a few bad turns, and one partner desperately wants out? Dr. Phil's guests are at a crossroads in their marriages. Hector and Nicole have been married nine years, and Nicole says she's done with the marriage, no longer loves her husband and has a boyfriend to prove it! Hector says he loves his wife and is desperate to save his marriage. He's even paid thousands for Nicole to have plastic surgery! Can Dr. Phil convince Nicole to give up her lover and give her marriage another shot? And, Shaun wants to dump his wife, Nancy, for good because he says she stalks him and throws herself in front of the door to keep him from leaving. Nancy is convinced Shaun still loves her, and she's hoping they can resurrect their union. Is there hope for this couple, or should they walk away? Tell us what you think.

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January 24, 2008, 2:28 pm CST

I want out

I have a question did anyone see at the very end of Todays show (Thursday) there was a memorial to someone who passed away?? Does anyone know if that was for someone who was on the show? Thanks if you can answer if you know!!!

Erin

 
January 24, 2008, 2:29 pm CST

01/24 "I Want Out!"

Quote From: housewife52

I think the main reason for the 90 days is for her to drop the other man. You know ,she does need to break it off with the other man before she proceeds with a divorce. She really needs the time to make a plan for herself as to how she is going to move forward. She'll need to get a job,find a place to live, and that sort of thing.I don't think she and Hector can work things out. The fact is, if Hector had a problem with reading her diary about something that happened before she met him, he will definitely not be able to move past this affair with the current man. 

my experience-  the day i asked my ex husband for a separation, he decided it was a good idea to assualt me.  i left for a day or so and had to listen the whole time to others talk about how i should give it a chance, try to work things out.  at 2 a.m. the morning after i came back to discuss things with him and see what could be done, he then has another stroke of violent genius- he rapes me at knifepoint.  i'm thinking that perhaps Doc's whole idea behind the 90 days is to get those unresolved feelings out that he talked about so that she can leave in peace, which would be good for the children; however, i could see how pressured she felt having to make that decision right then and there on the show and that wasn't right.  if anything, try to get those things resolved that need to be for the good of the children but by no means remain in a home with a man who dares to put a pillow over your face!!!  there's other ways of resolving issues without living in fear of your life.  telephone and scheduled councelling for example.

 
January 24, 2008, 2:31 pm CST

GROW UP, NICOLE. You're supposed to be an adult

Nicole is no different than all the male LOSERS who think that just because there are problems in a marriage (and EVEN a separation), the vows before God don't mater. Sadly, it's often the children of these immoral, immature, selfish, irresponsible "adults' who pay the price.

 

As Dr. Phil has ALWAYS said, You don't leave a marriage until you've done EVERYTHING to save it. And you do NOT ever go outside the marriage.

 

It takes two to have a great marriage, a fair marriage and a lousy marriage. If a marriage is over, it should ONLY be over after EVERYTHING was done to save the marriage. And if it IS over after that, than NO OTHER RELATIONSHIP should start until the divorce is long over!

 

I am SO SICK of adulterous men and women. I have been married to a great man for 18 years, but I've sadly had to go thru 2 divorces with friends whose husbands had girlfriends and just wanted out. BOth women were taken by surprise and neither deserved that. And in both cases, the kids have suffered. All of this is due to SELFISHNESS and IMMATURITY on the part of the one having an extra marital affair.

 

Nicole is a cheater, regardless of ALL ELSE. She's a LOUSY role model for her children. And if she's a Christian, one would HOPE she cares what God is thinking about her actions...

 
January 24, 2008, 2:33 pm CST

I wonder..

How many others feel like I do when you see a marriage (either one) lose all sense of dignity and pride and it's 'out there' for the whole world critique/tear apart/analyse to DEATH. (Death being the operative word, I think.) I suppose I am reliving my own experience of humiliation,but I find it very painful to watch these  people tear each other to pieces. I think for those of us who HAVE been there, you can hear the death knell loud and clear.I'm in the same boat with those who think the 90 days is a lost cause.
 
January 24, 2008, 2:33 pm CST

How pathetic of you

Quote From: dollface54

 Right on!!!!

So you are saying that cheating is fine if someone has been abusive.

 

Yes, I suppose IN YOUR WORLD two wrongs make a right.

 

What a lousy, immoral, sad way to live.

 

Imagine if kids were involved in that world. Oh, I forgot, who cares about the innocent children???

 

HOPEFULLY people want to behave like responsible, mature, unselfish ADULTS. It's no wonder most people today can't even sustain a happy marriage; they're simply too immature.

 
January 24, 2008, 2:33 pm CST

Both are worthless

Another case of a woman who has been reading too many self-help books and picking and choosing solutions she thinks will bolster her selfishness.  She has stayed in an abusive marriage and cleaned out the old man's wallet with selfish cosmetic surgery and once that's done, she can go "on with her life" with a married lover and start on his wallet.  Since she is "so worried about her children", why didn't she get out long ago and use that money for a divorce to remove herself AND HER CHILDREN from a dangerous situation?  Why does Dr, Phil waste his time on worthless people?  He is a woman beater--she is a golddigger and two kids are paying for it.
 
January 24, 2008, 2:41 pm CST

Nicole and Hector - Both are a Mess ....

 

What on earth is with Nicole? They declare bankruptcy and she goes and gets a mercedes, she gets a boob job and an eye job (her face looks a little too barbie-like – in a scary way). They pay rent, don't own, have car loans instead of buying what they can afford and she's getting a boob job and her eyes done?? Her first thought should have been let's buy a house for my children to live in – very immature. She has wasted tens of thousands of dollars – I know its from lack of self-worth  and no self-esteem – but she had this problem before she married that selfish, immature bully. She was so desperately hurt when hector fooled around on her and then she goes and messes around with some other woman's husband?? HEL-LO???? Ewwww.


As for Hector – you are a bully – and yet you were walked on too – you can't afford presents cause you're paying for plastic surgeons and crap like that and a mercedes that nobody who rents should have – you get a car like that when you can afford to pay cash for it and not before. You get a car like that when your kids college funds are all set up and you've got a years worth of mortgage payments set aside.

 

Mature adults don't live beyond their means - immature selfish people buy a mercedes before etheir kids have a healthy college fund. Time for you two to grow up, together or apart - you BOTH need to grow up.

 
January 24, 2008, 2:43 pm CST

Would be better to leave

my experience-  when i told my ex husband that i wanted a separation, he thought it would be a good idea to assualt me.  i left for a day or so and the whole time had to hear how perhaps we should talk things over, give it a chance to work.  at 2 a.m. the morning after i went back, he had another stroke of violent genius and decided it would be a good idea to rape me at knife point- and yes, even after that a married couple that are Christian marriage councelers asked if perhaps i thought there was anything that i could do to make it work.  i think Doc's whole idea behind the 90 days is so that they can resolve those unresolved feelings he talked about so that she can leave in peace, which would be good for the children.  i don't, however, agree with how she was put on the spot to make a decision right then and there.  i could see how uncomfortable she was with that.  don't get me wrong, i'm not saying she's an angel in the whole matter.  but i do feel perhaps Doc should have suggested other ways of resolving those issues so that they could be there for the children- the telephone or scheduled councelling.  there is no way that i am going to agree that she should stay for any reason in a home with a man who dares to put a pillow over her face?  what good would it do to be in fear for her life?
 
January 24, 2008, 2:44 pm CST

90 days of fearing for her life

I agree she needs to not overlap men and think what she needs most is to learn to exist  on her own to build her confidence BUT

 

I don't agree with sending a woman back home with a physically abusive man who has hit her with his fist and tried to smother her UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.  This man is a classic controlling stalker-type, and they ain't seen nothin yet - until she actually tries to leave.  She is better off with an unknown temporary, if she thinks that is the only way out, than this proven dangerous spouse.  And I can't believe with there being kids in the house, Dr. Phil, who I hold in very high esteem would prolong this situation.  He should have gone with his first instinct. 

 

Sure, the ideal situation is two mature people who end a relationship amicably and without fanfare.  I can tell you from the number of divorce settlements I see, it is a rare occurrence.  And I believe the sooner you get out and on with your life the better.  I hope they both learn something from it, but I have far more hope for her than him. 

 
January 24, 2008, 2:45 pm CST

01/24 "I Want Out!"

Quote From: metro53

I am shocked that Nicole was told she needed to give this 90 days.  Dr. Phil needs to see this man for the person he is, which is an abuser.   I agree she needs to dump the other guy because she has no future with him and she needs to work on herself.  Her husband obviously destroyed any feeling she could possibly have for him.  I would not trust that man for one second!  They need to figure out how to co-parent the children peacefully.  He needs to face it that his marriage is over instead of suddenly coming up with a conscious - give me a break.  As soon as he would reel her back in he would be the same man.  She does not need to walk away - she needs to run!  Good luck Nicole and work on your self-esteem and putting your life in order before you bring another man into your life.
 

Don't you get it? They're both immature and I think they're both bullies – she's buying mercedes while they have trouble meeting the bills and getting loans for a boob job and plastic surgery? He was in touch with a former GF and so she's so hurt she goes out and starts an affair with a married guy herself??


That trainwreck of a relationship took two people – both with good points and bad points. But both of them wrecked that marriage.

 
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