Honey, (sorry this is so long...)
You are doing a fantastic job ! You have already lost 20 pounds. That is an accomplishment in itself. Just keep on doing what your doing. I do not believe that you need willpower. I gave up on willpower 4 years ago and decided that willpower was a useless word and whoever invented that word should be ashamed of themselves ! Now on a serious note, you don't say how fast/slow you have taken off this 20 pounds and it really doesn't matter because it's 20 pounds that you will never see again. (a positive thought...nothing to do with willpower). Think ONLY positive thoughts. Shake any negativity out of your mind right this second ! Ok, it's gone now. Your different now. Can you feel the flow of nothing but calmness and peace and self-love....love yourself. You deserve to love yourself !
Let me tell you what I call "My Truth". I guess I look at "MY Truth" sort of the same way that Dr. Phil talks about "Lifestyle Change". "My Personal Truth" (and honey, I sincerely believe we ALL have our own personal truth...now we can say that we don't know what that means but deep down inside everyone knows what their truth is...it is who you are at your very core not who you are on the outside and that is what will propel you through this weightloss that you are going to see continuing. It's not who Grandma sees on the outside at Christmas because you have to attend Christmas dinner with all your skinny cousins who keep whispering and giggling and Aunt Dipstick who weighs 110 and eats a 2 pound box of chocalates for breakfast everyday and tells you that you don't eat right...hmmmm. And yet you still smile when you feel those hot tears stinging the corner of your eyes when you refuse to let them fall as you turn your back and dash for that whole pumpkin pie that Grandma made just for you. Honey, been there done that! See, I have faith in YOU....because I had/have faith in me. You can get there. I know that YOU know what "YOUR Truth" . You know that you are a strong person, you know you are confident, you are intelligent, you have a "core and a truth" which means you will be alright if you just "believe in yourself ONE DAY AT A TIME" and I have seen many days where I made it through 24 hours by living and being present from just one hour to the next hour. The day was long but I made it because I know I am strong and I will never hand my Power over to food ever again...or to anyone for that matter. I am OK in my 200 pound body...I am no less a person that a 110 pound person and I refuse to let my family make me feel that way. (See me taking back my power?) I have lost approximately 20 pounds a year for the last 4 years. It doesn't sound like much, honey, and I still weigh a little over 200 but I have my POWER back and my TRUTH. And I Will lose the weight that I need to and it's OK that it's slow. Afterall, it took God 6 days to make Earth and put Adam and Eve here and he rested on one day and so do I. I will also share with you that I cannot exercise much as I have a list of health problems longer than your arm unfortuneately. (Kidney transplant 20 years ago..I did peritoneal dialysis 2 years prior to that and was unfortuneate enough to get peritonitis (not fun), 2 total hip replacements and 2 revisions on one of them, degenerative disk disease in my spine, fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, arthritis, lymphadema, both knees and ankles need replacement because I have avascular necrosis in all my joints for which I am followed by a pain specialist who keeps me as pain free as I can be, IGA defiency which causes me to have chronic pneumonia. I was in the hospital with it 3 separate times in September. I also deal with anemia, B-12 defiency, pre? Type 2 Diatbetes caused by one of my medications...SAD, Sjrogrens disorder, Reynauds syndrome, Sick Sinus Syndrome, migraines, cataracts (one has been operated on but now I see white fog and double fuzzy vision at night). H/O panic attacks, depression and PTSD. I have been going to the cancer center once each month for IGG Gamma Globulin infusions...I can't even remember...between 15 and 20 years now. I have never missed one treatment. I was a couple days late a few times and ended up in the hospital with pneumonia wishing I hadn't postponed my 30 day visit to 32.
I just had my gall bladder removed, I have celeiac disease and I am lactose intolerant which is nothing. I am on many drugs but recently...well you get the picture. There's more...really there is but seriously I do take very good care of myself. I don't smoke and I have a rare glass of wine. I may be heavy but I am doing something about it. I do look healthy...so...this brings me to this point...I said all this for you to see and understand this one thing....
......I feel I am very blessed that I do not look or act the part of someone with poor health. I am a fairly private, but open person. I don't mind telling someone my health history but I refuse to complain to anyone in my family or my friends. They know my problems but not in detail because I find when a person complains they make "their dilemma even worse". Or in other words they seal their future. What you say and what the people around you say is what and who you are. If you brow beat yourself. everytime you try to walk 1/4 of a mile...let's say..."well, I can't even walk a mile, there is no sense in trying to walk to lose weight...I can't do it so I quit." Then you are going to quit. You just talked yourself into it. You need to say to yourself, "hey I did it, tomorrow I will take 20 extras steps." OR your mother says " you were gone a long time, here have this...as she tosses you a package of your fav cookies"...what do you do in this situation?? Toss them right back to her and say, "no, all I need is a cold bottle of water with lemon." THIS my DEAR is YOU LOVING YOU. This is not will power. This is your Truth...this is who YOU really ARE. AND by the end 8 weeks you will be walking 1 mile...slowly perhaps like I do...but you will walk it...and the weight will be melting.
I have many tips I would like to share with you. I just bought myself a exercise watch. It hasn't seen much action yet BUT it is an incentive for me to "stay the course". I think you put your calories in it. A pound is 3500 calories so if you put in 3500 calories and subtract what you eat from the 3500. If you eat , 1500 calories a day you will have a deficit of 2000 calories and by the end of the week...you will not have GAINED any weight and you should have LOST weight. I think it also subtracts how many calories you burned walking or doing exercises and keeps track of your heart rate, etc. I have not used it yet but I will let you know more about it if you want...just ask me. And I have bought myself a few stretching bands and fitness books for beginners a couple years ago when I first started because any movement I feel is good movement. I love to do pilates and yoga here at home but again because of the replaced hips I have to be very careful not to pop them out of joint (been there done that 2 times...not pretty trust me). And if I get on the floor I need help getting up so I did buy a very small weight bench so I don't have to get on the floor if no one is at home. I have a couple men's sweatsuits from JCPenny that were dirt-cheap, and a couple women's exercise bras and and yoga pants from Dick's off sale racks to exercise in. I set myself up for a POSITIVE experience.
And I also invested in a good pair of scales because I have a problem with getting dehydrated. These scales tell not only your weight, but your hydration %, BMI, % of body fat, and how many pounds of muscle you have. They were not expensive and are very easy to program. You can program up to 4 people..
Why am I telling you all this? Because if I can lose weight honey, I know in my heart of hearts YOU can. You are a very beautiful young lady who has so much to offer this world, don't stand back and let your weight make you miss opportunities...someone out there needs YOUR help to lose their weight. They need to hear YOUR story. Everyone has a story...everyone's journey through this life is unique...one just has to find their "truth" and grab on to it for the "ride of their lives".
DON"T have the "tummy band"...I was suppose to have my stomach stapled on a recommendation from from 2 doctors in Vermont about 18 years ago but I decided against it. I knew I wasn't emotionally mature enough at that time to be told that I could only eat a shot glass of food 6 times a day for the rest of my life. I knew I couldn't do that. Oh, and about loose skin...I think the slower you lose the weight the less you have and I think doing exercises helps with that too. Yep, I have loose skin but I dress to impress...no one sees it and I have never heard my husband complain...he's a real man. We take the bumps and bruises that life has given us and we've grown stronger together after 30 years. He certainly has been through alot with me.
I will keep you in prayer and feel free to write back to me if you need encouragement. We all need a mentor at times ! I know I do.
God Bless,
Frannie
