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Topic : 07/31 "Get Rid of It!"

Number of Replies: 190
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Created on : Friday, January 25, 2008, 01:19:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/30/08) Is there something you’ve been hanging on to for just a little too long? Clothes you haven’t fit into since high school? Boxes of stuff you haven’t looked at in years? Dr. Phil’s guests say their loved ones need to call the junk yard and “Get rid of it!” Kim says her husband, Paul’s, Star Wars hobby has to go. With over 6,000 pieces in his collection, Paul spends 30 hours a week playing with his action figures, building models and talking to friends about Star Wars. He even included light sabers in their wedding, so shouldn’t Kim have known what she was getting into? Next, Larry and Sheila married four months ago, but Sheila says she had no idea she was getting hitched to a hoarder. Larry says she’s got it all wrong –- she’s the pack rat! With some of their favorite collections rolled out on stage, can Dr. Phil help them negotiate what goes and what stays? Plus, meet Terri, who has four storage units and two garages full of sentimental memories –- like a rubber chicken and her father’s X-rays!  She spends so much money storing her stuff that she can’t even afford health insurance. What’s at the heart of her hoarding? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 30, 2008, 6:26 pm CST

Packrat

Quote From: kindergarten

I, too, thought Dr. Phil was a little rough with the woman with all the storage units of family memories.  What I have been doing to clear up old memory items is to take a photo of the item and I'm beginning to make scrapbooks of those photos.  Examples,  my daughter's kindergarten favorite dresses, the boy's high school varsity jackets, old missing parts board games, stuffed animals, Girl Scout projects, mother's specially made cards and projects from the kids, toys that the kids had, dance recital clothes, etc..  It makes it so much easier to part with the large items if you have photos of those things.  The photos are much smaller and even though costly, are much cheaper than the 4 storage units.  Please suggest this idea to the young lady.  Side note:  I was Star Wars guest, Paul Grandinette's third grade teacher.  The show was fun and very interesting.
 I feel that Terri needs to go through things, but with someone that won't keep telling her to throw things away, set to a stop watch!!  She needs time to greave!   I am one of those people like that, needs a visual to retain some memories, that is not a bad thing!  Sending some people that are O C D types dont help people like us!  We can get rid of things!  Please give us some space!   Terri i have been there!  Hang in there!   dollies62   A  FELLOW PACKRAT
 
January 30, 2008, 6:30 pm CST

A very interesting topic

It is very hard to part with possessions.I think all of us have this difficulty in various degrees.

I have a friend whose wife passed away 12 years ago. I feel he is living in the past. He is adament about driving her very old car which by now is an 'antique'. He has had so many repairs done on that car. I do not dare get into the car. I do not think it is my place to tell him to move on. A book about bereavment and moving on was mentioned on the Dr. Phil show but I did not catch the title. I think it would be very interesting to read it.

Jacqueline

 
January 30, 2008, 6:30 pm CST

"Fluff" Show

I call today's show one of Dr. Phil's "fluff" shows.....not much substance & silly.  These people obviously have more money than sense.  The StarWars guy thinks he's not obsessed???? The guy's in denial  and his wife is stupid to put up with it.  What kind of marriage do they have, when he says openly that cuddling with her is boring?  She ought to leave him with his toys & get out while she can.  From the looks of him, he'll never lose enough weight to get in that ridiculous costume, who's he fooling?  His whole life consists of sitting on his butt doing nothing but "playing" with one thing or another.  It was difficult watching these silly people try to justify their obsessive spending on what they call hobbies or collections.   They all need to grow up & get real.
 
January 30, 2008, 6:31 pm CST

01/30 "Get Rid of It!"

Quote From: vcfalgout

I'm still learning your way.   it's not easy, it's my nature to be sentimental about things perhaps it's  a personality thing and how we were raised.  My father taught us that some things may beable to be used for other things rather than trash.  I never thought about it that way my neighbor can just throw things out with ease food included.

I was raised the same way  LOL!  We did throw stuff out (only when it became apparent an object has tolaly out lived any usefulness) I'm glad to say, we're not quite that bad in our house.

 However, I am a stockpiler and it took my DH sometime to get used to opening up the cabinets and finding 30+ boxes of Kraft mac and cheese (bought for 8 cents a piece) Or, having at least 50, 4 roll packs of t.p. stacked in the corner of our downstairs bathroom. (free after coupons)

 At first, he threw a hissyfit, but then he realised it's allneatly put away and we won't have to worry abou running out  of much of anything again. And, since it's al really cheap or free after coupons, i'm actually saving us money.

 
January 30, 2008, 6:47 pm CST

Paul

I don't have any problem with 'collecting' as long as it is a PART of your life and not your reason for existing. Dr. Phil didn't say it, but I will. Paul, you are a very, very immature, selfish, self-involved person. Why did you even bother to get married if snuggling with your wife is so boring and time consuming? How on earth do you find any time whatsoever to spend with her? What about HER needs? If I were her, I'd seriously consider kicking you and your toys to the curb. Period.
 
January 30, 2008, 6:52 pm CST

"GET RID OF IT"

I think that he should GROW-UP, He should spend more time with his wife than his hobby. He has long way to go to lose over 150 pounds to wear Storm Trooper Uniform, If he really want to lose weight then start to do exercies with his wife to go out for long walks at the Parks for a hour per day every day and eat less and eat more fruits and Vegetables and LOT OF WATER.

 

What do you think?

 
January 30, 2008, 7:27 pm CST

Thank you!

Thank you so much for this show. I am one of the people who are, dare I say, a major horder. I always think that I can use something or sell it at a garage sale or keep whatever for my children. I counted up that I have 4 storage units, 1 POD, and a three-car garage full of stuff. I want to get rid of most of the stuff I have not looked at in years. I am not sure how long it will take me but I know it needs to be done. One of my favorite phrases is "how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." I will take it one step at a time.

Thanks again!

 
January 30, 2008, 7:40 pm CST

Well...

... She did know when she was marrying him that he liked Star Wars- A lot. Why is she upset or suprised? It's not like the day of the wedding he came up to her and said- "Oh, btw, I am a Star Wars Fanatic and I have a huge Collection I have been hiding all this time we were together."

Wasn't there a past show where Dr. Phil told a woman that she knew before they got married that he was the way he was?  So shouldn't it be the same?

And why is she mad he wants to lose weight? Yeah, it's to fit into a costume, but come on!
 
January 30, 2008, 8:05 pm CST

It feels so good!

For the past 3 years I have been dealing with what is left behind when a hoarder passes away.  I have been through the process not once, but twice. 

 

The first was my husband in 2005.  Over a 30 year period he never threw anything away.  One reason is that he could fix anything and so there was potential in everything.  I was amused at the hats and coats, because we (I) had a rule - only 3 hats, coats, or boots in the house at a time.  He had at least 50 of each.

 

I was not aware of the magnitude of his problem until I had to clean it up.  Along with all the "normal" stuff, he collected military surplus everything, camping supplies, tools, power equipment, etc.  I had ~35 vehicles in various stages of rust.  We are talking 12 acres of stuff.  There was a shop in woods, a huge warehouse, our 2 car garage, barn, bus - all full.  The good stuff was easy to move out - but then there is the pure junk.  Like 200+ tires, dozens of chain saws, lawn mowers, weed eaters, batteries, etc. 

 

Almost a year to the day later, my mother passed away.  My sister and I were left with the task of going through her estate.  My parents collected antiques.  The hoarding was almost as bad, but much cleaner and not nearly as heavy.  I shredded papers for hours and hours.  My parents kept every piece of paper they ever got.  We had to go through it and actually had fun finding things. 

 

I really liked the last advice about keeping the a few important things and showcasing them.  I happened to have just finished a small room and my sister and I have made it a place to do this.  One of the items is a memory board from a childhood dog.  We found the paperwork for the pound adoption, her vaccination records, her tag, pictures, etc. We are doing the same thing with my parents wedding items.  The room is full of things from our childhood and family.

 

Once I got to a place where I had the time, I started going through my things and tossing, selling, giving away.  I go to the dumpsters and goodwill almost every weekend.  My car will have trash, items for the shed where people can reclaim usable items, and items for goodwill. 

 

Advice –

·     You don't have to do it all at once - but you do have to start.  Just start sorting.  Things that you can't get rid of on the first round might not look as important on the second or third round.  The more you do it, the easier it gets.  It is so liberating.  I started giving things the 5 sec rule.  If I could not tell what it was after 5 secs - it went in the trash. 

·     Ebay is your friend - but you are probably enabling another hoarder!

·     Let other people tell you what is junk, because sometimes you can't see it.

·     Keep anything that your children might want (up to a point).  I kept several vehicles that my son connects with his father.  He may decide when he is older to get rid of them, but for now they are important to him.

·     Think of the people that will have to clean up your mess.

 

My biggest revelation was one day at a friend's house when a particular issue of National Geographic came up.  She said that she had thrown it away.  I said, "You threw away a National Geographic?”  She said, "Yes.  You can throw them away - it is not against the law."

 

My manta is now, "Let it go..."  I am not done yet with the heavy stuff, but something goes almost every day. 

 
January 30, 2008, 9:02 pm CST

OCD

Is a big problem for a lot of people--including me. I'm working through too much stuff, but it's slow going, due to chronic pain problems. I am trying to pare down on clutter, and I've gotten a lot done, but have a lot to do.

That being said, the Star Wars collector should hook up with sf fandom, where he can find other people who are also collectors. The collectibles he has will appreciate in value--Star Wars fans spend a lot of money on their fandom. Some of the things he collects are already worth a lot. The wife should have known what she was getting into before she married. I don't blame the guy a bit, actually.

As for the other fella, he and his wife have to compromise. He should pare down, and so should she (but the garden bird is a goose, not a duck.) If it were me, I'd ditch all the plastic flowers and give away all the broken stuff he has that he'll never fix, and distribute clothes to those who could use 'em to keep warm.

Some professional organizer--maybe it was Peter Walsh--said something that I try to keep in mind. If EVERYTHING is important, then NOTHING is. To that end, I'm clearing out stuff that I used to love but no longer have room to collect or the same desire for. As an artist, an sf and book fan, and a reader and writer, as well as a costume maker, this is difficult. But one of my mantras is "it's only stuff, it's only stuff, it's only stuff," and I keep pitching. Even one pile or box a day is progress. And I reduce the amount of new clutter coming in. I try to pitch a mass of stuff for each thing that comes in. It's tempting to keep my vegetarian times zines, for instance, but if I need a recipe, online vegan recipes are all over the web. And so on. It's hard to give up my science magazines, but when I die, my kids will ditch them anyway. Freecycle is my friend--for giveaways, since I'm in an apartment complex and can't have a garage sale. And so on.

That said, I'd never want anyone else to do it. It has to be me. And I'm working on it.


So it goes.
 
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