Topic : 06/26 Teens Having Babies

Quote From: danishgirl2

I may have a different view on this because I'm not an american, I live in Europe.

I'm an 18-year old girl in the last year of high school, the perfect age target of your discussions about teen sex. You say that teenagers must keep themselves from sex, and that its not right to teach the kid about condoms and birth control pills, mainly sex education. I dont know exactly how it works in America, but in Denmark where I live sex education is very important, we get knowledge about sex since the 5th grade, every year, even last year in 2nd year of high school we saw videos in Biology.

You get nothing from telling teens not to have sex, because they have sex anyway.

The best way is to teach them every single part of the proces of getting mature for it, about safe sex and what to do if an accident happend, for eksample a broken condom. And a girl's rights to say no, and about being in control of your own body, to avoid group pressure or pressure from one particular boy or girl for that matter.

And for all you worried parents - to teach your kid about sex and to give your little girl or boy a couple of condoms is not the same as saying '' feel free to have all the sex you want'' Its just making your kid extra safe from pregnancy and Sexually transmitted diseases.
My parents never told me that I couldnt have sex, they told me to do what I felt was right, and I knew everything about the case from my school education, so at an age of 17 I got a boyfriend and after 7 months I started having sex. I had a few accidents but never got pregnant because of my knowledge of the morning after pill, and now I'm on birth control pills and my parents knows about me having a sexlife, and they are just happy for me. Because they know that I'm a responible person and that I only do what I feel is right, and it makes everything so much easier without those angry parents telling me that its wrong, because its not. Including the sex education we were told that sex is only a part of a loving relationship, its not something you do to be popular or whatever sick reason. We were told like a hundred times.

And I'm in a loving relationship with a wonderful guy - and that makes sex okay. And I know how much a pregnancy can distroy my life, my education and my social life. So a pregnancy is the last thing on my list, actually its not on my list at all. So safe and controlled sex is okay!
And if you know someone who has sex for all the wrong reasons, it might be because she/he has no selfconfidense or self respect for her/his own body and its value. Try to talk to her/him and try to make the person understand that sex can feel a 10000 times better if you love your partner - that might work, because who wouldnt want sex to be a 1000 times better?? Haha.. :)

Quote From: armychick22691

I am 17 years old and began having sex a month after I turned 17. My niece is also 17 and she became pregnant at 15. She now has a 20 month old boy and he is the most adorable child. My niece has had a difficult life being thrown out of multiple homes. She doesn't seem to stay in one place very long. My heart breaks for her but I feel most sorry for her son. He deserves better then that. The father of the boy is constantly in and out of jail on drug related crimes and he now lives hours from the child and may see him once a year if that. She just doesn't seem to be able to care for or provide for her son and I wish there was more I could do to help but being 17 there isn't much I can do. Although I see what happened to my niece it has not impacted me as much as I thought it would. My family seems to distance themselves and we hardly ever get together so I rarely see my niece. I became sexually active soon after I had a horrific car accident. Although it may sound silly one of my biggest fears was dying a virgin. 3 months after my accident I began having sex. The first few times it was unprotected and I was afraid I was pregnant because I was 7 weeks late. It turned out I was not pregnant (thank god) but the fear and reality began to sink in. Niether my parents nor my sister (who is 15) know about my choice to have sex and I'm not exactly sure if that is the best idea. I have been toying with the idea of telling my mom about my choice but I am worried what she will think. Since my scare I have decided to stop having sex because it only makes me feel worse about myself. I know now that it was probably not a good idea to begin having sex in the first place and I don't like lying to my parents (my mom in particular) and my sister. If anyone out there has any ideas about how to talk to my mom please don't hesitate to comment.

Quote From: ramair

A lot of American girls your age have some really messed-up thinking about having sex and making babies. They can have all the knowledge in the world about, and access to, birth control and still refuse to use it. Actually trying to get pregnant.They like babies and want them. And, some of these girls are only 12-years-old! Even though they know nothing about raising and providing for children.

Quote From: danishgirl2

I see that religious people might have problems with protection and such, since it might be against their religion. But I think, if you've got the proper informations you can avoid a great deal of cases of teen pregnantcies. If the problem is that difficult, as you explained it might be an idea to have teen moms coming out to schools to tell about their situation, both the happy and sad part of the story.

It might even be an idea to provide young girls with a plastical baby for a couple of weeks, I know those are expensive and hard to get but if you just hand them out to girls who seems to be in the ''risk group'' of becoming pregnant, maybe religious girls or girls with psychological problems of some sort.

If you REALLY put them into the situation, also financially and socially with the parting and boys it might just turn on a red light in their heads.

Quote From: charise820

Wow,  you need to grow up!  good thing you don't have children because with your attude I would feel for them.  there is nothing wrong with be a housewife.  People don't choose to be house wives because they are dumb.  They choose it because it's what's best for there family and they want to raise there children.  I know that I did.

 

and also if a teen mom is working, and she gets help from welfare then she too is paying for her own help did you ever thing of that.

 

oh and dead end jobs...ummm a video store....and face it some has to work this jobs because for some people as yourself it's below them to have to do it oh and many teen moms do get great jobs may no in your town because attudes such as yours.

 

and do tell some one to tell someone to kill there child before it's here is wrong.  you some teens get pregnant while on birth control. 

 

Oh ans since you know so much I assume you are having sex.  OH and the caffine thing what bulled I am pregnant I before getting pregnant I was a caffine addict.  OH and that's not the first time I got pregnant while drinking tons of caffine.

 

If you don't want kids then that's find but you attude needs to be check and maybe you should talk to dr phil.  but if you want to have sex and no kids well then think about getting fixed because birth control doesn't always work I am tell you that now and it's the truth.  so grow up and learn something.

Quote From: grandmashari

Wow... That is a lot of hating Jess.

 

There is a lot of teens out there that make good mothers, although it is better to wait until you are older, mistakes sometimes do happen.  There is a lot of older mother's out there that are horrible.  So while it is better to wait until your life is where you want it to be, being older doesn't make you a better parent.

 

GEDs aren't the same as high school diplomas, but they are better then none.  If a person gets a GED they can go to college or at least take some college courses and then on job applications they are able to mark the box "some college" rather then the GED.  My nephew got his GED and he is a wonderful, very intelligent young man and father (he became a father at 16).  He joined the army, excelled in it, being at the top of his class in Special OP's and is now looking at college this fall.  Don't judge them all by a few.

 

Beings you seem to hate kids, your advice on making yourself miscarry or abortion makes sense to you.  Sad thing is if they take your advice, it could very well cost them with their life.  If you make yourself abort, you could bleed to death.  Abortion, to me, is murder... but that is another debate.  Those girls who go through it will have to deal with their decision for the rest of their lives and that shouldn't be taken lightly.

 

If you think that drinking lots of caffeine will make it impossible to have a baby, you are fooling yourself.  I hope that you practice safe sex because if you are counting on this method of birth control, you will someday be having to take your own bad advice.

 

You speak of stay at home moms as being something negitive and shameful.  How wrong you are.  With a society like we have now and the problems you hear about on the news every day about some child being killed or harmed in Daycare, we need MORE stay at home moms.  I was a stay at home mom with three kids until my youngest was in school.  I wouldn't have traded that time with them for anything.  We made do with what my husband made and that is where the younger generation is having trouble now.  Everyone wants to live beyond their means and buy on credit.  Credit cards are the worse thing out there for financial stability. 

 

The best advice you gave here was to go to college and do something with your life.  Every person should be able to support themselves and their family.  Some people need a little extra help to start with and there is help from our government for that.  It should be help to get started, not a lifetime commitment.  I am sure over the years I have paid more in taxes then you, but you will catch up since surely you are in college and not planning on working forever in a video store.   

 

If you grow to hate your child, then it is more a reflection on you and your parenting skills then the child him/herself.  Kids do make choices that aren't all that healthy and at times friends are really bad influence, but if you are good with your parenting skills, you can bring them back around.  Paris Hilton didn't have parenting.  When you leave your child in the care of others so much of the time, they lose who they are and turn to other things (booze, drugs and sex) to find themselves.  

 

By the looks of your picture and your post here, I would say you are young, probably not much older then 20 if that.  You will learn tolerance and compassion through life experiences.  I hope this will tame your judgemental attitude soon.