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Topic : 02/04 Dirty Little Secrets

Number of Replies: 277
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Created on : Friday, February 01, 2008, 02:17:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Affairs, sex with strangers, previous marriages and secret children … What happens to a relationship after someone confesses a deep, dark secret? Lee recently disclosed to his wife, Kristina, that he had been married three times before her and that he has a teenage daughter. Kristina says she feels stupid for buying Lee’s stories, and now she wants out. Lee, an actor, says he’s desperate to get his wife back, but has his best performance to date been playing husband to Kristina? Then, to the outside world, Sheri and Raymond appear to be a happily married couple of seven years with three young children, but behind closed doors, their marriage is nothing but a charade. Sheri admits that for the past four years, she has been dating close to 15 other men, whom she refers to as "friends with benefits." Raymond says he keeps up the facade for their children, but Sheri’s promiscuity has got to stop. You won’t believe what Sheri says happened to her eight years ago that may be at the center of her cheating heart. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 4, 2008, 7:42 am CST

Todays Show

 People are a mess! Everyone has things that they are hiding.. I think it is are in how you want to handle it. But in the long run the "truth is the best"... when you meet someone you should be truthful up front.. if you don't like them or they don't like you, and what you are or have done then you know where you stand.. NO!! hiding behind doors... it is what you do from there.. we make the choses from there, you have the power to make or break what is in you hand.. some people thing it is a game and like taking it to the edge... they are not God, you can not hold someones life in your hand, only God has that power... you get what you put in to a marriage or relationship...
 
February 4, 2008, 8:15 am CST

Can this society become any more pathetic?

These are supposed ADULTS. 

 

I'm so tired of cheaters, liars, immoral, unethical actions being labeled as having an "illness" or "addiction".  Bullcrap.  There's no "sexual addiction".  Society lets people off the hook way too easily with those labels.  What has happened to actions equal consequences?  Respect & self-respect?  Common sense?  Does anyone know what just plain common sense is anymore??

 

Character flaws are no excuses.  People still know right from wrong.  They just don't care until they get caught.  Then they go on TV & let a few tears flow.

 

What are potential spouses supposed to do...run a background check on their fiance to be sure of the truth??  How sad is that?

 

My mom didn't have the best childhood, I believe she was abused more than I know & my dad's dad passed away when he was just a boy.  They recently celebrated 46 years of marriage & lovingly raised two kids.  CHOICES, people.  At some point, we become adults & then what we do with our lives & to others' lives are our own.

 

Marriage is being turned into a joke.  People forget, or more likely don't care or want to remember, the definitions of the words commitment, honor, trust, love...  This is what happens in a society that is becoming more & more liberal.  It's not your fault, you must be sick.  Don't judge anyone, nothing anyone does is wrong, if it feels good; do it...

 

Grow up.  Wise up.  Man (or woman) up & behave as a respectable adult.

 
February 4, 2008, 8:15 am CST

happiness

I believe that the lady who has had sex with all these different men was not really being truthful.My oppinion is that she knew she was being watched by million of viewers and she was lying to herself about  being sorry about being with these men. I really think when she gets home she is going to go back and do it again. All those tears was fake ,ya maybe she dont want to lose her kids but she cares to much about herself.I hope her husband leaves her and takes the kids ,how embaressing to have a mom like that,who knows when her kids get into sports and she meets their parents she wont go after their dad i say boot her out.I belive her husband could find somebody much better and show their kids what a family is suppose to be all about not pemiscuious.
 
February 4, 2008, 8:19 am CST

Secrets That Control Our Lives

Wow - Dirty Little (or Big) Secrets are no way to live your life.  I've been living a secret for 3 years and every day (EVERY day!) I agonize over how to get out of it.   For all of you judgemental folks on the message, board, try not to be so quick to judge others.  I'm a stable, productive, intelligent, loving human being who originally justified my decision due to circumstances at the time.    What a nightmare !  No matter what option I chose to end this nightmare, I will end up hurting someone, so I just keep living my own nightmare every day to avoid that.   I know eventually my secret will be found out.  I know eventually when that happens it will leave me even more despaired.  Regardless of the many options I analyze in my mind to end this, there doesn't seem to be a good answer.   Dirtly little secrets leave you only desiring the freedom you had before -- the freedom to be authentic and yourself.

 

 
February 4, 2008, 8:27 am CST

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I think that Kristina is doing the right thing by choosing to love herself and respect herself enough to know when to leave an abusive relationship. No one deserves to have their love and devotion thrown back in their face. I hope that everyone who sees this show will learn from her strength to stand up for her right to be Loved and Respected and Treated Honorably. Everyone deserves these basic things from every other human. Just because you marry someone does not mean you are allowed to forget to treat your spouse with respect. Keep your chin up, girl and know that your daughter will be so much the better for having you as a role model.
 
February 4, 2008, 9:08 am CST

02/04 Dirty Little Secrets

Quote From: flthomcat

Instead of "Dirty Little Secrets" the show should be called "Filthy Selfish, Immature, Immoral People!"

 

WHY would anyone make the CHOICE to lead his/her life this way? Were they raised by wolves? Do they have no self-respect and morals?

 

The true victims in these relationship are the children. It's LIKELY that these kids will grow up and take much baggage into their adult relationships. Their own relationships will be filled with adultry, promiscuity, loneliness, anger, divorce, being unable to trust, etc. And the kids can thank their selfish parents for this!

 

For over 18 years I have been married to a great guy. We work at our marriage and our friendship. We put our kids first (what's best for them) and we try to be good role models for them. We have fun as a family and spend time volunteering to give back to society. We DON'T live in chaos. We DO go to church together every Sunday and actually do our best to Honor God, even when His teachings aren't easy or popular.

 

The world is messed up due to messed up people. The only one who can change YOUR LIFE is YOU. Make the decision to get control of yourself & the life. If not for your sake, than for your children.

Don't insult wolves! (heh heh) (Wolves actually have morals and are very family-oriented.)

 

More likely these people were raised by rats!!

 

You may be interested in my website: http://www.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/

I have written may articles on parenting, inlaws, teen pregnancy, and general family issues.

 
February 4, 2008, 9:41 am CST

Some encouragement...

Quote From: lynnds6363

   

     I always felt like you need to be there for your spouse when they are not feeling good about there marriage, making it work. You know I always thought that doing things like going places with them. And Kissing them alot when they first got married but if they turn you away and say you have to kiss all the time then thats another sign that don't care about you. Well thats the way see it anyway.

  My husband is really horrid with me he's just a bear to me. He doesn't want to doing anything with me anymore it like were roommates were not of course but thats how I feel anyway. My car needs attention and he won't fix it. The car is older then the hills its a 94 escort. The tail pipe is broke off and its dragging on the ground right now. So if he's not going to fix then I might as well not fix me either. I might as well die then Or not eat at all I can do it I've done it before. Lynnds6363

You need some encouragement and some hope to get out of this relationship and find yourself again!

There are so many resources out there to help women like you.

 

Also, please go to my website: http://WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/

 Go to "Blog Archive", click on "January", and scroll down until you find the article entitled: "EVEN A TURTLE..."        It deals with abuse relationships and may help you get an idea of where to start. Meanwhile, please don't do anything to hurt yourself, such as not eating....you have to take care of yourself and take the steps to get your soul back.  You didn't say whether or not you have children, but if you do, you must take care of their mother and be there to protect them.

I hope it helps....God Bless. 

 
February 4, 2008, 10:02 am CST

02/04 Dirty Little Secrets

Quote From: sunnydazed

These are supposed ADULTS. 

 

I'm so tired of cheaters, liars, immoral, unethical actions being labeled as having an "illness" or "addiction".  Bullcrap.  There's no "sexual addiction".  Society lets people off the hook way too easily with those labels.  What has happened to actions equal consequences?  Respect & self-respect?  Common sense?  Does anyone know what just plain common sense is anymore??

 

Character flaws are no excuses.  People still know right from wrong.  They just don't care until they get caught.  Then they go on TV & let a few tears flow.

 

What are potential spouses supposed to do...run a background check on their fiance to be sure of the truth??  How sad is that?

 

My mom didn't have the best childhood, I believe she was abused more than I know & my dad's dad passed away when he was just a boy.  They recently celebrated 46 years of marriage & lovingly raised two kids.  CHOICES, people.  At some point, we become adults & then what we do with our lives & to others' lives are our own.

 

Marriage is being turned into a joke.  People forget, or more likely don't care or want to remember, the definitions of the words commitment, honor, trust, love...  This is what happens in a society that is becoming more & more liberal.  It's not your fault, you must be sick.  Don't judge anyone, nothing anyone does is wrong, if it feels good; do it...

 

Grow up.  Wise up.  Man (or woman) up & behave as a respectable adult.

See...this is what I keep saying, too.

 

No one wants to hear the truth...when you speak it, you are called "judgmental".  My response to that is "Darn right! Everything everyone wants to do in NOT okay when it affects the rest of society. If being judgmental is wrong, then let's just abolish all laws and the courts and let everyone run wild, huh!"

Now, that makes just as much sense as saying no one should judge another person.

 

I don't want to the world I live in to decline any more.....and it will if good people continue to say nothing and are afraid to speak out for fear of being called "judgmental".  Who cares??  Speak out!

 

http://www.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/  to find many articles on family and societal issues. Go to Blog Archive, click on January, and scroll down.

 
February 4, 2008, 10:23 am CST

02/04 Dirty Little Secrets

Quote From: shareliz

I know a man that lies about every aspect of his life.  What would make a person lie about marital status, the number of children he has, a military career and the involvement with multiple women at one time?   This is a 62 year old man.   He is very good at what he does.   When caught in lies and confronted, he admits to not being honorable and goes on.   He does not care that he breaks hearts.  Is there hope for a person like this?

NO!!  RUN!

 
February 4, 2008, 10:55 am CST

I agree

Quote From: laurieg14

In MY mind, no matter what kind of tragedy or problems you have had in the past, that you could possibly justify lowering yourself to sleeping with 15 different men while being in a commited relationship. I CAN actually speak from SOME semblance of experience having had to leave home at the ripe old age of 16, and later on having lost my infant daughter to SIDS. I believe you have to take responsability for your own actions as it will only be yourself who pays later on for your mistakes and possibly your children as theyll absorb EVERYTHING that goes on around them no matter HOW well you THINK you are hiding things from them. They see EVERYTHING. I dont think your partner should have to pay for the things you do either. I honestly believe that in todays society there are FAR too many people that like to blame everything, and everybody else for their problems instead of just dealing with them, or getting HELP dealing with them. Blaming  a situation, or your parents, or a spouse, or WHATEVER will only hurt YOU. You have to be able to acknowledge it, and FACE it head on, or youll only end up destroying yourself ( or your KIDS, who incidentally never ASKED to BE here!) and never leading a productive life.

I agree with this message.  Hiding secrets always leads to disasters.  If you can't be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with anyone else, especially the one you chose to spend your life with.  For better or worse does not mean that the worst is yet to come.  It does not mean that you cheated in the past, got away with it and can continue doing it.  You are not only cheating on your spouse, but you are also cheating on your children, family and friends.  I was married to this person who traveled a lot and I was 2 months pregnant at a time he went on a business trip.  Yeah right, business all right, it was monkey business.  When I found out, which was not too long after he returned, on his next trip low and behold to his surprise when he returned from his BUSINESS TRIP, I stood at the top of the stairs waiting for him to come in and as he did, I handed him a set of keys to his new apartment, had his clothes packed and was even kind enough to have boxes with dishes, silverware, and cookware for him to take.  When he said what the hell is this, I said "your keys to your new apartment, and your stuff to go along with it. "  Now you can cheat all you want loser.  Shortly thereafter, he was served with divorce papers. 

 

I've learned never to EXPECT anything from anyone because you will no doubt be DISAPPOINTED.  People are going to cheat till death due them part and that is a fact.  Too much temptation out there male and females.  Not too many people understand the meaning of commitment.  I have been single now for 14 years and NEVER plan on getting married again.  I am very happy with who I am.  I very rarely date and like it this way. 

 

Cheating is total chaos, disrespectful and pathetic.  People who cheat are losers. 

 
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