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Topic : 02/04 Dirty Little Secrets

Number of Replies: 277
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Created on : Friday, February 01, 2008, 02:17:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Affairs, sex with strangers, previous marriages and secret children … What happens to a relationship after someone confesses a deep, dark secret? Lee recently disclosed to his wife, Kristina, that he had been married three times before her and that he has a teenage daughter. Kristina says she feels stupid for buying Lee’s stories, and now she wants out. Lee, an actor, says he’s desperate to get his wife back, but has his best performance to date been playing husband to Kristina? Then, to the outside world, Sheri and Raymond appear to be a happily married couple of seven years with three young children, but behind closed doors, their marriage is nothing but a charade. Sheri admits that for the past four years, she has been dating close to 15 other men, whom she refers to as "friends with benefits." Raymond says he keeps up the facade for their children, but Sheri’s promiscuity has got to stop. You won’t believe what Sheri says happened to her eight years ago that may be at the center of her cheating heart. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 2, 2008, 3:48 am CST

02/04 Dirty Little Secrets

I love shows like this one. Makes me wish DrP was 2 hours long instead of one.
 
February 2, 2008, 7:10 am CST

I don`t understand

In MY mind, no matter what kind of tragedy or problems you have had in the past, that you could possibly justify lowering yourself to sleeping with 15 different men while being in a commited relationship. I CAN actually speak from SOME semblance of experience having had to leave home at the ripe old age of 16, and later on having lost my infant daughter to SIDS. I believe you have to take responsability for your own actions as it will only be yourself who pays later on for your mistakes and possibly your children as they`ll absorb EVERYTHING that goes on around them no matter HOW well you THINK you are hiding things from them. They see EVERYTHING. I don`t think your partner should have to pay for the things you do either. I honestly believe that in today`s society there are FAR too many people that like to blame everything, and everybody else for their problems instead of just dealing with them, or getting HELP dealing with them. Blaming  a situation, or your parents, or a spouse, or WHATEVER will only hurt YOU. You have to be able to acknowledge it, and FACE it head on, or you`ll only end up destroying yourself ( or your KIDS, who incidentally never ASKED to BE here!) and never leading a productive life.
 
February 2, 2008, 8:25 am CST

Ugh!

I have to say I wish I would have yelled at Lee a lot more.  I decided to be true to myself and what I was feeling that day.  I didn't WANT to scream at him because I had been screaming at him for a long time already.  I just wanted Dr. Phil to give him a what for.  And I wanted to make sure he never got a date ever again.
If I could go back I would really tell him just what I thought.....and maybe throw a chair.....okay, maybe not but it's a good fantasy.
 
February 2, 2008, 9:03 am CST

PROMISCUITY AND REPEATED INFIDELITY - MALE AND FEMALE

If you are with in a relationship with someone, you expect the relationship to grow and deepen over time; you expect a heart connection to be made and maintained.  You operate your life based on this expectation.  When your partner in the relationship does not or cannot make an emotional connection, the relationship becomes very painful.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight into personality types most capable of repeated infidelity are:

 

 

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why Is It Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

 

Malignant Self Love:  Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin MAYBE The Professional Bachelors Dating Guide:  How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho by Dr Brett Tate

 

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen AND Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

 

Healthy Boundaries Workbook: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Set and Maintain Better Boundaries by Deborah Deiboldt Legge OR Overcoming Passive-Aggression by Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

 

 Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Make a promise to yourself to leave.  Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful, trusting, supportive, and fulfilling life.

 

Hope it helps!

 
February 2, 2008, 9:03 am CST

Secerts

Secerts are sometime better

When you confess a secert it breaks the trust and you can never get it back you may forgive but never foget

I have connfessed and had them confess

Bonlady

 
February 2, 2008, 10:03 am CST

dirty little secrets

COULD THE PROBLEM BE: OUR DEF. OF LOVE?  DO WE PAIR SEX WITH LOVE?  DR. PHIL, PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT REAL LOVE IS.  (WITH AND WITHOUT THE SEX)  MANY NEED TO KNOW.  THANK YOU
 
February 2, 2008, 10:45 am CST

Doctor Phil Show

Dirty Doctor Little Phil Secrets. That is a new one on me but anyway I like it. See you on Monday Feburary--

04th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
February 2, 2008, 1:04 pm CST

What happened to believing your vows?

What the hell is a matter with people these days? I have been married to the same man for 26 yrs. I have been with him for 28 yrs. We still have a wonderful marriage. We are just as much in love today as ever before, if not more. Now I am not saying that everything in our marriage is daisies and roses, its certainly isn't. However, that is what a real marriage is about. Loving and Trusting your partner enough to honor the vows you two took and shared the day you said I DO. People these days get married with thought in their heads that... "Oh well I can always get a divorce". I get up everyday knowing that life is going to throw you curves and stress. But I aslo get up everyday thanking the good lord for the blessing he gave me when I met my husband. Even at the roughest times in our marriage I never questioned is love or is fidelity. I did sometimes question where the hell is head was!! LOL. People if your considering getting married.. please don't do it if you think that you can change him, or things will be better once your married or have children. Only get married if you know that your relationship can't possibly be any better than it is a this moment. Then your marrying for the right reasons. And for god sake if you find out the man you married has other wifes and children past or present you were never told about, then stop and take a good look at your life, and ask your self if this marriage is one of honesty and trust. If the answer is no, then I would say its not a marriage and you should get out as fast as you can. You deserve to be in a honest and trustworthy marriage, not one built on  lies and deciet.

 
February 2, 2008, 2:26 pm CST

Ack!

Quote From: housewife52

I love shows like this one. Makes me wish DrP was 2 hours long instead of one.
I am glad it wasn't  It is grueling going through this stuff with the producers and then on stage.

Seriously don't gain TOO much enjoyment from my pain.

It's horrible.
 
February 2, 2008, 4:20 pm CST

02/04 Dirty Little Secrets

Quote From: sheilahg

What the hell is a matter with people these days? I have been married to the same man for 26 yrs. I have been with him for 28 yrs. We still have a wonderful marriage. We are just as much in love today as ever before, if not more. Now I am not saying that everything in our marriage is daisies and roses, its certainly isn't. However, that is what a real marriage is about. Loving and Trusting your partner enough to honor the vows you two took and shared the day you said I DO. People these days get married with thought in their heads that... "Oh well I can always get a divorce". I get up everyday knowing that life is going to throw you curves and stress. But I aslo get up everyday thanking the good lord for the blessing he gave me when I met my husband. Even at the roughest times in our marriage I never questioned is love or is fidelity. I did sometimes question where the hell is head was!! LOL. People if your considering getting married.. please don't do it if you think that you can change him, or things will be better once your married or have children. Only get married if you know that your relationship can't possibly be any better than it is a this moment. Then your marrying for the right reasons. And for god sake if you find out the man you married has other wifes and children past or present you were never told about, then stop and take a good look at your life, and ask your self if this marriage is one of honesty and trust. If the answer is no, then I would say its not a marriage and you should get out as fast as you can. You deserve to be in a honest and trustworthy marriage, not one built on  lies and deciet.

I agree! even if you not married NO relationship is safe witout TRUST! i believe you can still love someone even after they have cheated or lied but if you cant trust the one you love then the relationship will never last because you will always think he or she is up to no good! you can always forgive but you will never forget and if you find yourself acting out of character like checking his cell phone or sitting up counting the minutes when he's going to come home or just thinking he or she id doing wrong, then your only going to put stress on yourself and your partner and your relationship.
 
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