Topic : 02/06 Pill Popping Twins

Dr. Phil, I was shaken by yesterdays show with the pill popping sisters. I do hope they get the help that they despirately need for their own sakes as well as their family's. You were right on. Thank you for all you do.

Wow, I think he was very understanding the first thing I would of done when I saw the tapes would have been to call CPS. I did not have the best parents in the world ....my real dad liked little kids if you get what I mean, my mom resented me because she married my real dad because she was pregnant with me and a whole bucket full of crap dumped on me because of these things.

SO WHAT! It was hard, it hurt and I had alot to work through but you know what? I worked through it, I did NOT take drugs and abuse my kids because my mommy said something mean to me! When do you grow up enough to start taking responsibility for your own life and your own actions and stop blaming your parents??!! At some point you are an adult and free from them so what you do with your life after that is on you not them.

There is nothing wrong with compassion but enabling is a whole other thing....here are two examples~

Where I used to live there was this guy across the street. He was probably in his 50's, he had a long record of drug abuse and petty theft. His parents bought the house he was living in, paid his bills, and brought him groceries every week because they didn't want him to steal from them anymore and they didn't want him to be homeless and hungry. Every week when this little old lady would drop off the groceries he would scream at her about being late and get so mad he would throw the food across the yard. Who in that story do you think deserved the compassion the 50 year old looser drug addict or the elderly lady that loved her son (in all the wrong ways)??????

How about this- my mother in law has a son who was on drugs she would give him money so he wouldn't steal and gave him the hard core pain med's her other son was prescribed for cerebral palsy and all the surgeries he has had just so the other son would stop throwing temper tantrums. He was a disgusting mess but she would just keep giving them to him. One day we had a BBQ and foolishly allowed my mother in law to bring this wayward son, we warned them both that he was not to come over high or to bring any drugs. Guess what she gave him methadone at MY house with MY Children there!!! My daughter and my nephew were crawling at the time and could have gotten into the drugs he dropped but luckily my sister in law found her brother passed out on MY bathroom floor first and cleaned up the mess!!!!!

So I ask you should I just ignore the very real danger my children were in out of compassion for this looser and his pathetic drug abuse ????? What if my daughter would have ingested the drugs??? Should I just say it's OK he needs our compassion and understanding even though my daughter could have been killed???

NOT in this life time!!!!! Taking it easy on these people is why bad things happen to the good people around them!

Guess what else~ once the entire family told him it's enough and until you get clean we will have nothing to do with you and you will loose your daughter and be kicked out of your parents house....That's when he got clean. Tough love is the only love you can have for a junkie!

~Nixi

I drank heavily for many years. When my youngest children were 3&4 I stopped and never looked back. I don't miss it. I, in fact, was injured on the job 22 years ago and take pain killers. I don't get enough relief but still try to deal with it and work. At one time my physician  told me he was concerned about me being addicted. I told him, "Well Doc, if my options are to be in chronic pain that controls my life and prevents me from sleeping I'm not real concerend about the addiction". What a choice to need to make. The V.A. has been so good to me. They tried to find all sorts of ways to make it possible for me to work without the pills. My pain and disposition were horrible. They are now finding new ways to help me. I have a friend who was in a vehicle accident last year. She objected to the doctors giving pain medication to chronically pained people. She now understands it. I actually talked to a woman while I was in college who'd had a severe auto accident and she had a standing order at the hospital that she could go into the emergency room for a pain shot. She told me that it was either that or suicide because the pain was so severe. She said she hoped to be off of that medication as she becomes more well. Science has not come up with a way of connecting pain in all cases. I remember reading about a football player who this past season (Brian Urlacher) who began having pain as I describe mine. They couldn't find a corresponding cause with the scans but they KNOW he's in pain. So they treat him via his complaints. They believe him but not me? I"m the empty  nest father of five children and my wife is that of five diffferent children. I do what I have to do to provide and that's it. Now they're talking about a patch for me. I'm in favor of that because it would dispense the medication in such a way that I would be living pain free. When my kids were still at home I would lay and cry in my sleep and then pop the pills when I first got up so that I could make it to work. What a terrible way to work. I took any pain shots the doc would give me. I went to a chiropractor daily for a long time for short term relief. Now I'm 56 years old and live in such a state as to need chronic help with the pain. My wife is the bes and understands. I get grumpy and she is so loving to me. I also found out that I have other mental health issues. I take a lot of meds to help with that. Whatever is causing all the pain doesn't matter a whole lot to me anymore. What matters is that I get relief. I actually had to get a POB in order to keep people from taking my meds. I'm a lucky man because my children understand and love me and if something were to happen so that I needed them for complete support and living arrangements they'd be there for me. I went to NYC to see my daughter after TG last year. She is so patient with me. She's so loving and caring and treats me with such great respect. I see the turmoil that these people are in and I'm so grateful that we don't live that way. God didn't intend for people to live like that and finding a way out of that is so important. Linda and I set some ground rules when we got married. No shows R rated or above. No arguing about money and don't let the kids split us up. We've had some pretty bad financial situations and have yet to blame one another. We are on our 17th year of marriage and I hae the perfect wife for me and she says I'm perfect for her. It's taken a long time to gain the trust o some of the kids. It's working, though, and we're getting things worked out. My mental health issues have taken a lot of perseverence on the family's part. I don't hide my mental health issues because I want others to find hope. I'm not embarrassed by it because I see it as a stepping stone and encouragement for others. I'm not necessarily happy about all the decisions I made but as of now I'm so happy that I've overcome and I have a family who loves me. I don't abuse the drugs and don't share them. I have people trying to get me to give them to them. Since I first started getting the meds that's been an issue. I don't share. Doc gives me enough for me and I have to control the number of pills I take so that I don't run out. If I share them then I won't have enough for me. If the doc is giving too many for a person they should never give them to another. That's why we have the medical system we have. Docs should be concerned about giving out so many pills. :Pills aren't the only solution. I can tell you that I've had to make decisions that were contrary to my original thinking. I didn't take meds unless I absolutely needed to. When it came to a point that I could see that it was either the pills or chronic and unmanageable pain I finally took the drugs. lsgg

when i watched the story on the girls i felt for them its not easy to deal with what they deal with but you got to make a life better for youreself their are children involved here and i have children and i hade a sister who was addicted to pills and herion and tryed to kill her self not once but twice and and it scared  me and i hope they do get the help they need not for noone else but for their self and the kids its not fair to the kids to see that kind of behavior from a suppose to be a mother and aunt thats really sad it you ask me ,,,

Not only do these twins need intervention/treatment, their mother - I feel - is also a huge part of the problem.  How will she deal with the day to day care of three needy children.  I pray she is able to "step up to the plate" and do what's right. 

 I watched the show on my DVR as I usually do and this show really made me want to cry. Not for the ladies but for their children. I wish they could see the pain and heart ache they will cause their kids when the kids are 40 years old sitting on the couch with thier spouse, (if they are lucky enough to make a life for themselves) and crying because they never had a mother.
My husband and his twin sister were taken away when they were 6 years old because their mom chose to do drugs instead of taking care of them. He spent his whole life wondering why he isn't good enough, or smart enough, or worth enough to have a good life. I see the pain in his eyes when he looks at other people our age getting advice from their mom, if you saw it you would want to cry.
Now my husband made it out of that crazy world of drugs and alcohol and we have a very nice life, aside from the constant cheerleading on my part to help him see what a wonderful man and provider he is. He may be drug free but the drug life he saw his mom live will haunt him for the rest of his life. His sister's were not so lucky. One died at 25 of drugs, one is a functioning drug adict and his twin sister is a homeless drug adict for which she has been since she was 13 years old.
If these woman could spend one hour with my wonderful husband and hear the pain he has had to live with because , "his mom was having a good time",and to see how hard his life has been since she chose drugs over raising her kids they just might think twice about what they are doing.
Yes we worry about what effects devoplmentally this has on the kids now, but you must also consider the effects  for the rest of those childrens lives, and that is assuming they even make it to adulthood without dying of a drug overdose or suicide.
We must give our children a fighting chance out of the gate, we must make sure they have the tools to suceed in this world.
Please people advocate for the children in your life, treat them as the angels they are and not as though you were given some right to have them.

For two days I watched the show about the twins, and it really scared me. I have been on Ocycontin, norco, soma(flexeril,xaxax,vicodin,es vocodin) at one time or another. currently just the oxycontin, norco, soma, and when i feel like a panic attack xanax. this has been going on for 6 years. mine have for 3 back surgeries ,a neck surgery, and i still am in constant pain. my biggest fear is being taken off of them. I find I am losing my memory, thank heavens I dont have small children any more and no when not to drive. I wonder if i am fooling my self into thinking I am doing ok when actually I am not. How can I tell. I dont see anytime in the future of getting off the them.

Hi, I understand your need to manage your pain, as I suffer from chronic pain too. I was also addicted to my prescribed pain meds oxycontin and valium.

Please believe me when i say that it is not better to be on the pills,as you are probably addicted as i was.

Do you notice that sometimes your pain meds do not help take away the pain as well as they used to, do you find yourself taking more some days than others ? and always playing the game of catch up, have you lied to your doctor about your pain pills going missing,even if you still have them just so that he will write you another RX?

 

If you have please call someone for help, you still can be an addict if you are taking your meds as prescribed. Ever notice if you miss a dose you feel very sick or nauseas? do you notice that your pain is intensified more so than before the drugs. You are addicted my friend and I do hope that you may find a multitiered approach to kicking these drugs. You have overcome alcohol that is fabulous just remember that cross addiction is very common in recovering alcoholics even if its many many years later.

 

Please for the sake of your lovely understanding wife and your children seek help to manage the pain without the meds, and be good to yourself I know it is hard, I pray that you may  find an answer to seek other options.

 

I don't know the name of the pain meds that you are on but believe me i am sure they will destroy you one way or another, Please get help.

 

Sincerely a recovering addict.

I am sorry shahnster.  I realize that you are totally entitled to an OPINION but this is just medically wrong.  Drug abuse is not the name for any disease.  That is just druggie jargon.  The addiction has a physical hold on a person, withdrawl has medical side effects that is true- but it is completely curable. 

If you are going to compare it to cancer then you have to presume that the individual is not willing to be cured when he could be.  You would have to have a scenario where, like a junkie, the person continues in his cancer rather than seek treatment.  If that were the case then yes I would use your above argument.

Babies are not born addicts.  (Unless their mothers use while pregnant.)  It is an acquired illness.  It is a voluntary condition.  The addict first chooses to use, then chooses to not get the help.  Please don't insult the many brave individuals who battle cancer.

You are not abusing prescription meds like these twins from what I read in your letter.  They are buying these meds off the street from dealers.  They take them without medical supervision and have no idea the maximum daily dose or dosages that they should be taking.  They are taking them without physical pain. 

You are under the care of a physician- I assume.  Talk to him or her about your concerns.  Find out what meds not to take together.  Find out how much is too much.  Being treated for chronic pain is different than Yvonne picking up her husband's pain meds and getting high.  You might not be able to be off pain meds but that is something between you and your doctor. 

Remember-  Just don't drive under the influence like Yvonne's husband.