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Topic : 02/08 "My Worst Valentine!"

Number of Replies: 150
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Created on : Friday, February 01, 2008, 02:22:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If you dread Valentine’s Day and don’t have a creative bone in your body, take heart, because Dr. Phil and Robin are here to help the romantically challenged! Denise has been married for 17 years and says her husband, Darren, never buys gifts or cards. She says he told her he loved her when they got married, and he’ll "let her know if it changes!" Robin and her married friends give the hapless hubby a crash course in courtship. You won’t believe his sweet surprise for his wife. Then, Jennifer wants a makeover so she can feel sexy as a mom, and Michelle wants her mechanic husband to clean up his look. Don’t miss Robin’s drab-to-fab makeovers for them! Plus, Stephanie says her family is fixated on the fact that she’s single at 33 and won’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. Her sister, Tiffany, says Stephanie’s biological clock is ticking away, but Stephanie says her relatives are ticking her off! See Robin’s great ideas on how to pamper yourself if you’re single on Valentine’s Day. Plus, Brett and Katie have only been married for six months, but their lives have taken a turn for the worse. Katie was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis a few months ago, and her engagement ring was stolen when their apartment was recently robbed. See the heart-warming surprises Dr. Phil and Robin have for the couple! Join the discussion.

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February 7, 2008, 5:43 pm CST

I like your comment

Quote From: housewife52

You know, ya'll ought to look up the origin of Valentine's Day. It's very interesting. And I think St. Valentine was a very brave priest. If nothing else, we all ought to think of him on that day. He gave his life in the name of LOVE!
I really don't know where this celebration came from,, now I am going to google it  because of your comment ,, but if you could school me on what you know about that actual facts behind this celebration that would be great. I guess yo do learn something new everyday,, thanks
 
February 8, 2008, 4:20 am CST

02/08 "My Worst Valentine!"

Quote From: deb1966

I really don't know where this celebration came from,, now I am going to google it  because of your comment ,, but if you could school me on what you know about that actual facts behind this celebration that would be great. I guess yo do learn something new everyday,, thanks

I read that there are several interpretations of the origin of Valentine's Day.

 

This version can't be proven historically, but it is a possibility.

 

3rd century in Rome-Emperor Claudius ll heavily recruiting men for his armies without a lot of success because the men preferred to stay home w/ thier sweethearts, wives, families. Claudius ll decided that if all men were single they could focus more on thier task at hand, so he outlawed marriage.(For men as yet unattached) A priest named Valentine performed marriages in secret-this got back to Claudius ll-made him mad so he put Valentine to death. The outcry was so great Claudius ll reinstated marriage. St. Valentine honored for his belief in love and the concept of marriage.

 

If you look it up there are several other versions of the origin of this day. Because I am a romantic at heart, I chose this one. Who knows it may be THE origin. If anyone else knows more please let us know. 

 
February 8, 2008, 5:49 am CST

Who needs Valentine's Day?

It's funny, but those of us who have been happily married for long periods of time seem to be the couples who DON'T get all excited about this holiday that has become little more than a winfall for stores!

 

Most people either can't or don't hold relationships together for very long. A superficial day with candy, hearts, flowers and jewelry has LITTLE TO DO WITH LOVE or COMMITMENT.

 

Sorry I sound so cynical, but I could care less if my wonderful husband of 18 years gives me a gift. His "GIFT" is himself day in and day out, warts and all:) I just wish more people cared about the IMPORTANT things in life instead of silly "holidays."

 

Consumerism has ruined this holiday much like it's been ALLOWED to ruin Christmas and Easter....

 
February 8, 2008, 6:46 am CST

First V day without husband

 

I agree with the woman who wants to wait for the right man. Waiting for the right guy is the best thing you can do.   I was married to my Mr. Right for 37 years.  I lost him to cancer in June.  So, this is going to be a hard Valentine's Day for me.   Ignore your sisters!!!  It's their problem, not yours

Cindy

 
February 8, 2008, 6:48 am CST

DO WHAT I DO....

Quote From: sweezie

No Valentines, No Birthday, No Cards or Gifts. Nineteen Years of Marriage! 

I just buy myself something nice. ALL the time, not just for V-Day, but every week I buy a bunch of flowers and arrange them in a vase and enjoy the heck out of myself..

 

Only you can make yourself happy!

 
February 8, 2008, 7:26 am CST

02/08 "My Worst Valentine!"

Quote From: nannydue1

I realize that I have gained a little weight over the years but really......Dr. Phil's Weight Loss book is not an appropriate Valentine's gift.

  

     Was it what you actually wanted?

     The most thoughtful, personal gift I ever helped a man give his wife as a present was . . .  dirt.  My best girlfriend, Sena, was raising African Violets.  She had all the pots she need to transplant them, but she needed several cubic feet of African Violet potting soil.  As her bff, I informed her husband, Steve, that Sena hoped and prayed for him to go down to Home Depot and purchase it.

    "Are you sure?" he asked me. 

     "Yep, Steve.  If you don't buy her some dirt for Valentine's Day, Sena's gonna be real disappointed.  Candy and flowers are nice, but Sena would be happier with the dirt."

 
February 8, 2008, 8:04 am CST

A fun day

 

Valentine's Day is a lot like any other holiday- I think people eventually just go through the motions out of duty than anything else.  It becomes this harrowing obligation that you have to buy in a store because you are unable to recreate it. 

 

I think though, that it has to be this conscious, creative thing that isn't confined to one day,  just like Christians are thankful everyday for Jesus redeeming mankind as an undesserved gift- not JUST on Christmas or Easter.  When my husband remembers and respects my likes and dislikes, or does something for me (even if its just making the morning coffee) it's more romantic to me than a box of chocolate. 

 

You have to create or find the essence of the holiday in everyday life for it to be meaningful.  It shouldn't be saved up all for one day out of the year in one cathartic expression.  I do like Valentine's Day, I enjoy the candy and the flowers, etc.  However, I don't NEED these things as proof or trophies as to how much my husband LOVES me.  His actions already make me feel like I won the lottery year round.

 
February 8, 2008, 8:18 am CST

mzsuzq2u

Quote From: mikerichard

Well I'm 52 SWM, and this day means nothing to me. I'm shocked so many people are married and their partner can't or won't take a moment to honor them with a card or a flower. It's so sad. I'd love to be in a situation where I could do that for someone. Dr. Phil--please know many of us singles out there KNOW we will NEVER have someone special in our lives for all sorts of reasons. I've never married, I'm still a virgin, and have never had a girlfriend. Illness and poverty kept me out of the dating pool for years. If I told my story, no one would believe it.  Those members of your audience who are married or have someone don't know how fast it can be taken from them. Death comes to everyone, and it usually happens when you least expect it. Moral--live in your todays, not your tomorrows, and please be grateful you have at least one person you can call special each day. A loveless and sexless life is not any fun. I've lived, but I never got to love. Am I bitter? No--I just realize it's very late now, and most likely no one is ever going to come my way.

Live my life just one day, and you'd be truly changed I promise.

 Your message made me feel so sad. I am sorry for the way your life has gone.  I just want you to know that...sometimes someone can have someone in their life but still feel alone, and  have a sexless relationship.  I am not much older than you, but I too feel it is too late. I always feel empty inside.  I wish things were different in my life, but I know it will never change.  I wish you well.  God Bless You. 
 
February 8, 2008, 8:18 am CST

Stephanie...

 

To the girl (Stephanie?) whose sisters are pressuring her to get a date-

 

Don't listen!  You shouldn't settle for Mr. Right Now. Some people don't fall in love until theyre 70.  It should be REAL, and anything less is NOT worth the pain of a divorce or unhappiness.  Men  can smell a desperate woman a mile away-the best thing you can do is have NO agenda (certainly not your sister's), and let it develop naturally. 

 

Don't buy into the biological clock rationale that society uses to pressure women to marry and have babies (there's always adoption and 40 year olds have babies too, they just have to be more diligent in their pregnancies).  Just be you.  You have to love yourself before you can love someone else, and be confident even if you never do get married (be okay with that, and that there are so many other positive aspects about you than whether or not you have a mate).

 
February 8, 2008, 9:29 am CST

Brett & Katie

 My thoughts and prayers go out to Brett and Katie. May God surround you with HIS Love and give you strength to get through this tough beginning. God Bless.
 
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