Topic : 07/24 Behind Closed Doors

  My short message is that I think its great that the people on your show and on the message board can release their harmful past and try to get on with their future. I have a best friend who was abused by her father. Her parents were divorced and she was sent every week-end to him for visits. She would cry and throw up and do just about anything to try to not go but her effects went  with out her peace of mind she was sent. Her mind was so confused because her abuser would  tell her  that he would kill her and her mother if she told. Shw has made it in her life because she tried to buried it and I'm the only person she has told and its been 50 years for her. I love her and will always be here for her. Thanks for the show Dr. Phil maybe some day she could come out with her abuse and get the help she has always needed.

Lady, you can blame everyone in the world for what YOU didnt do but it makes absolutley no difference.  You CHOSE to stay married to a sick and twisted pedophile AFTER SEEING HIM ABUSE YOUR DAUGHTER.

Go ahead and blame the Dr. Phil show saying "its just show business" and "dont believe eveyrhting you hear".   NONE of your crap makes ANY DIFFERENCE!

You saw your husband ABUSE your child and you STAYED WITH HIM!  What excuse and justification do you have for that???   NONE!    Nothing you say makes that ok.  You own as much responsibility for your daughters abuse as does her step father.  In my opinion, you own MORE.  You were her MOTHER, you should have PROTECTED your child and God knows how many other children.

Your posts make me sick.  Instead of falling on your knees and begging forgiveness from your daughter you continue to make excuses, minimizations and justifications for your disgusting lack of action.   Even to this day, after years and years, you are STILL more concerned with YOURSELF than your very own child. 

Climb down off the cross lady.  This isnt about YOU.  It is about your CHILD.  The child you refused to protect by CHOOSING to stay married to a KNOWN PEDOPHILE! 

You should be in jail for you CRIMINAL actions.

I've been reading your postings, and I've got to tell you that your anger is scary!! Even your posting name tells me that you have some major issues that you need to resolve.

 

 Please know that I am not criticizing you in any way....obviously,  you have been through hell and probably have every reason to be furious.....but, I truly hope that you find some kind of help so that you can heal...otherwise, your abuser WINS!

 

The most effective way to get back at your abuser is to get help and go on to live a good and happy life, despite what they've done to you....killing them will only put you in prison..and, again, they win. You deserve better!! YOU DESERVE BETTER!!

 

Of course you cannot forget what's been done to you...I know that's impossible...but, you CAN...and BETTER get some help so that you can find some kind of support. There are a lot of free resources out there. Look in the phone book and find mental health agencies. They can at least point you in the right direction to obtain some help. You are holding all this inside and it is poisoning you.

 

May God bless you and give you strength for the journey ahead. You really are not alone. 

I was touched by my dad when I was 12 or 13 years of age.

 

My mother had no idea that my dad would have ever done this to me...I never told her the truth...I told others in the family in hopes that were he to try it with them...they would stop it. 

 

Sometimes, Heidi: mothers that stand back and do nothing...were taught that this kind of behavior is normal...sometimes these moms go into a stupid stage and somehow bury the memory...you know the ostrich ritual...

 

If I take my mind off of it...it will go away...

 

Perhaps her husband, your step dad Heidi, was that convincing to her that he wasn't a touching you anymore or that what she saw wasn't what she saw...

 

I have a niece that when she told her mom that her step dad was a molesting her...her mother blamed her for being too sexy dressed around him and that she must have wanted it to happen...

 

God only knows what lives inside each persons heart, mind and soul...

 

Remember something Heidi....forgiving your step dad is a good thing...forgiving your mother also is something that you need to do for yourself.

 

I forgave my dad years ago...

 

I did it for myself, because I know that anger, hurt, resentment, hurts the owner of it and besides that which holds our anger, controls us...you are still being controlled by mom due to your inability to forgive her.

 

Don't allow her to have any more of your precious moments in time that should be filled with your memories of your life that you are a living now...

 

Those are just my thoughts...

Look into what kind of life that your mom had with her own parents and such and perhaps you will find that she did do the very best job that she could...knowing what she knew then about life and the pursuit of happiness for her children.

 

Those are just my thoughts

I'm into Rainbows, Ice Cream Cones and gum drops...

We Are All Blessed and just don't realize it

Love, Light and Peace

Tonie

That is what is so grand about Dr. Phil's Shows!

 

Just by knowing that we are not alone and that others have walked through worst things than ourselves, helps somehow in getting us from point A to point B in life...

 

Aunts that molest are perhaps aunts that were molested themselves...automatic program...

 

Stay strong...child molested from aunt and all here present...

 

Allow the healing to begin...

God Bless You All

Love, Light and Peace

Tonie

I am a Survivor of abuse. I was molested by numerous family members and then married a man that was abusive and once he learned about me being molested as a child would tell me that I must have loved it, must have loved the feeling, because I never said a word to anyone. I WAS 5! When your told that you will die if you say a word, you believe that. When I was 8 my Mom suspected my cousin was molesting me but never talked to me about it. She talked to him and must have taken his word for it because he continued to live with us and continued to molest me until I was 12.

I taught my daughter to tell someone, scream, run!! I told her that if there was anyone, and I meant ANYONE that touched her and she didn't like it, that no matter what they said she is to tell someone, ANYONE! That they would only threaten her so she would not say anything, that they would really never kill her or me. As of today I know in my heart that she was never molested.

For this Mother to sit there and say she does't understand a molester?!?! Hello? Where the hell did she grow up? She was 27 and thinks that's a baby, WOW! She had NO business having children then if she felt she was a baby at 27! I can't beleive her thought process. Like Dr Phil said, I would walk across the ocean to keep my children safe. If I could have gotten across there before the authorities would have found me because I would have that bastards balls in my hand. NO ONE TOUCHES MY CHILD AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! They would have to lock me up to keep me from killing them. It is SO sad that this Mother simply just doesn't get it. I can't comprehend that ignorance!

 

Alive, Debra

why thank dr phil all he did was hide the vile mans face  and name he protected him why  as a victum of this i find i discraceful that dr phil portect him phil should use his time and money and tv show to prosecute these animals

I have been reading these postings and am absolutely AMAZED at the number of people writing in who have been abused!! My God!

What sickens me so much is that so many of the mothers of these children stood by and allowed it to go on and on without putting a stop to it!!

 

I have raised three children alone and cannot even imagine what I could tell myself that would make it okay to allow some piece of garbage to hurt my child in ANY way, let alone to sexually abuse them.  

 

One thing I want to mention to any single Moms out there, and always followed when I was a single Mom is this: Predators select you young, single mothers JUST so that they can get to your kids. Do NOT be flattered by any man who tells you how wonderful you are, and how much he "loves" kids. Be suspicious of any man who asks you if you have kids the minute he meets you...and, for God's sake, do NOT give out any information to anyone you've just met!!! If someone asks you if you have kids do NOT answer. Just because someone asks you a question, does not mean you have to answer!!

 

We women are way too polite and willing to trust...we don't want to be "rude", so we answer all questions to the peril of our children's safety.  You have to tell yourself it is NOT being rude when you refuse to answer personal questions, but rather, it is rude of the person asking the questions! Put yourself into the mind set that you do NOT owe anyone a view into your personal life!  Protect your children! Be vigilant. Listen to that inner voice we all have when it tells you something isn't right. TALK to your children, all the time.

 

The best line of defense against sexual abuse of your children is PREVENTION!! Pay attention!

issuse we live in a world were people hurt kids and what do the abuser get tell me the average get 18 month and mental heath help  yes im angry 

a prayer is not making a judgement as you are so kind to point out to me, and as for not knowing what im talking about well hun i do know its a sin of great maganitude to sexualy molest any child, my statement being even 1=one child being molested is 1=one too many, meaning no as in 0= no child deserves to go through that,  seems you may think differntly of my opinion, but we all have one, sorry you find my thinking children are so much a gift from god offencive, but i know children are from heaven, we all should remember this, god gives and god can take away, i got to watch 30 min of the show today b4 i had to leave but i saw enough to know the mother on the show is a very sick woman in despreat need of dr phils help, i hope by the end of the show she --as in the mother on the show also realized she needs help in a big way, she is still a wanna be mom in my book, no real mother at any age would keep a female child in that situation for any reason, i sure as heack wouldnt, and im not even a woman, but i know what i would have done, dr phil said it best, I WOULD WALK ACROSS THE OCEAN TO GET MY CHILDREN AWAY FROM THAT!!,   NOT HAVING ANY MONEY IS NO REASON TO MAKE A CHILD SUFFER 1 DANG DAY LET ALONE FOR 7 YEARS!!!! YEAH THAT MOM NEEDS HELP,