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Topic : 07/21 Lies and Betrayal

Number of Replies: 828
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Created on : Friday, February 08, 2008, 12:23:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/14/08) When you get married, you look forward to a life filled with love, happiness and security. But what do you do if you find out your spouse has been telling you lies and is someone completely different than the person you thought you knew? Elizabeth says her husband of three years, Matt, is a pathological liar, a con man and an alcoholic. She says he has lied about everything from what he does for a living to dying of cancer so that she would marry him. Matt says Elizabeth is a sociopath, and he accuses her of molesting her 12-year-old son. When Dr. Phil interrogates them with tough questions, will the truth come out? In an effort to sift through the mudslinging and get to the truth, Matt and Elizabeth agree to take a lie detector test. One of the two was deceitful in answering every question. Find out who. Next, hear from Randy and Rhonda, a couple who took Matt in and are caring for him because they believe he may be living the last phase of his life. Will Matt's shocking statements change their view of him? Dr. Phil has a strong warning for this couple. Then, Matt and Elizabeth are currently separated and negotiating custody of their two young daughters. See the argument that ensues outside the courthouse when Elizabeth accuses Matt of sleeping in the same bed with Rhonda. And, what shocking statement does Matt make about his daughters? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 14, 2008, 8:48 am CST

enraged and sad

Dr. Phil,

 

I have been watching your show since day 1 and I just Love You, Happy Valentine's Day!!  You are such an inspiration and you help so many people that it just amazes me.  Anyway, after watching today's show, I just felt I had to respond.

 

First off, I could tell right away that Matt was a liar, etc.  He never looked anyone in the eye or anything.  I felt so bad for Elizabeth and those precious babies.  The main thing that really touched a nerve with me was that he was lying about having pancreatic cancer!!!!  Any cancer for that matter, but especially pancreatic.   I have suffered from chronic pancreatitis all my life, however, it wasn't until 2002 that I was "officially" diagnosed.  I do NOT have pancreatic cancer and pray every day that I don't ever have to go down that road, but since I do have chronic pancreatitis I am at a 40% greater chance of developing pancreatic cancer some day.  I belong to a wonderful support group and what I have learned over the past years has been mind boggling, to say the least.  It is the "worst" kind of cancer there is.  There is no "cure" for it and it is the most rapid spreading cancer with death being pretty "quick" if you do develop cancer.  Right now I have a very close friend who is dying of pancreatic cancer.  She was diagnosed 1 year ago this past October and she is literally on her death bed. She could dye any day now.   I have been through so many surgeries, hospitalizations, "low" invasive procedures, and spent 6 months on a 13-hour per day continuous feeding pump.  It is a very rough, debilitating disease!  I am 38 years old and have a wonderful husband, 2 amazing boys, ages 9 and 10, and the most supportive family!!!!!!   I am sooooo lucky to have that.

 

Back to my point of the show, SORRY!   I have not been feeling well lately (I deal with severe pain and nausea every single day), but I also have had the flu several times since November, my amazing sons just love bringing home all the little "bugs" that roam around school and they just can't help but to pass them along to me  :)    My resistance is so low due to the pancreatitis, that I pick up things very easily.  Anyway, I haven't been feeling well and this morning I was feeling "blue" anyway and then your show came on and I just about lost it over that crazy, lying "Matt" guy.  After watching the show, I literally starting crying and was praying for Elizabeth, her beautiful children, and that family Matt is conning!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Not only did I pray for all of them, but I prayed for myself in that here I am with this horrible disease, etc., but I am soooo Blessed to have the most supportive, loving husband, two children, and an amazing family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can't imagine having to date again with all these "crazy" people that are out there like this Matt guy.

 

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be so long, but I just wanted to Thank You for all the good you do and for bringing me out of the "blues" today by me realizing what I have and how Thankful I am even though I do struggle every day with my own illness.  The pancreas is such an intricate organ that many doctors don't even know all of what this organ does.  A lot of people probably don't even know that you can't live without your pancreas.  I was just so infuriated that this horribly sick man would lie about having cancer let alone a cancer that is so miss-understood by so many!  My support group is always trying to find ways that we can get the word out about this disease, which all too often is dismissed as "irritable bowel syndrome" or  an "in your head" disease.  They have been turned down by so many shows, etc., because it is such an intricate organ, disease, and there are not many people, doctors, etc., that really know enough about it to do a show, etc.

 

Thank you for "listening" and I apologize for this being so long.

 

God Bless You and everyone who reads this!!!!!!!!!!  You are the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Sincerely,

 

Nancy T.  (Ohio)

 

 
February 14, 2008, 8:51 am CST

Scary for Elizabeth, kids, and Randy & Rhonda

This was a very disturbing story.  I have had some people in my life that have done some similiar things to present things in one way & be very convincing to others.  I feel bad for Elizabeth, but believe she is the best off in this situation.  She knows the truth & has been fighting for someone to believe her & I believe she has finally convinced others.  I hope with resources & support, she & her kids will now be okay.

 

My biggest concern is for Randy & Rhonda.  This horrible man, Matt, has played upon them at a very vulnerable time in their life.  What a low person to take advantage of those who are just good, kind people that are suffering!  Isn't that the lowest form of life....like Matt....knowing what these people have gone through & take advantage of them because of their situation?  I really hope they will get Matt out of their home immediately & break all contact with him.

 

I hope also that as definitely disturbed & ill as Matt is that he will not do something to any of these people, now that he has been exposed.  Since he has lost face & people now know he is a con man, would he just kill his wife, kids, and others?  I hope there is some protection, all involved will have, from Matt.   He is probably capable of doing about anything.

 

My ex-husband was somewhat of a con man.  He was a minister & lived a double-live.  He showed himself one way before the congregation & was another man in the home.  He started out okay, but somewhere things went really bad.  He ended up with many secret mailbox addresses & doing things that I have no idea of to this day.  I stayed with him for 27 years & could take no more.  Now one of our children is exhibiting similiar actions.    She is now denying a secret life she is living.  They both accuse me of being mentally ill, when they are the ones with deep disturbances.   Yes, I was deeply affected by all the mind games that were played with me.  I had horrid nightmares for years until a therapist helped me work past things.  I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.  I remember hearing Matt say Elizabeth was mentally ill today too.  Any mental illness she has is probably a result of what he has done to her. 

 

It's funny how the ones who are the most messed up try to accuse the other of what they themselves are doing or are!  Wishing everyone freedom from Matt and the best.  Hopefully Elizabeth won't find one of her children grow up into a Matt as an adult, as I have.

 

 

 
February 14, 2008, 9:01 am CST

I don't think so

Quote From: butterfly311

This guy is a complete nut case and needs serious help.  He is a pathological liar and con artist  who actually believes what he says.  He also acted like he was "on something" on the show.    Matthew doesn't even want his children anymore.  How sad.

 

Question to Matthew:  Why did you bother being on the Dr. Phil Show?  You obviously have a problem with reality.

 

Note to Elisabeth:  You and your children need to stay away from this person.  Get in touch with family, friends and community programs for support.   Good Luck to you and stay safe. 

You say that you believe he actually believes what he says.  I have an ex husband that I have believed actually believes what he says, too.  However, if he really did believe what he said, then wouldn't the polygraph test have indicated truthful answers.  I just think they have repeated the lies so many times & lie so constantly that they are very, very convincing & just great liars.  I have always wondered if my ex is actually aware of the truth or not. 

 

After raging fits, my ex would re-tell me a story of how a hole got in the wall or the phone jack was ripped out of the wall.  I would have witnessed the incident & knew what he said was not what happened.  However, when he did these things, I began questioning myself.  Didn't I just see something else happen?  These guys are just liars & trying to drive their spouses to insanity.

 

This helped me today.  Even though I've been away from this man for 9 years, I have never gotten answers to many questions.  I've wondered so often if they really believe what they are saying or not.  I'd say they really know the truth (now after seeing the poly results). 

 
February 14, 2008, 9:12 am CST

Crazy!!!

That guy is a freaking nutcase and I was GLAD to hear him say he was out of his children's lives. I wouldn't have cried if I were her I would have got on my knees and thanked God. You don't need them growing up with a "role model" like him!!

 

I also don't believe the people he was staying with his 100% innocent intentions!! Either they were swingers who invited him into their marriage OR they took him in because he promised them "millions" of dollars and two beautiful baby girls. I can't see innocent intentions there...sorry.

 
February 14, 2008, 9:29 am CST

So much for custody!

LOL! That's hilarious!

 

I love how Matt refused to talk about his health, on the advice of a lawyer, because it might jeapordize his custody case...

 

...and then said his kids were dead to him and he didn't care if he saw them again.  I'd say his custody case is over now, lol!

 
February 14, 2008, 9:35 am CST

Lies & Betrayal

I can't wait for your update on this character Dr. Phil.  What a coward, he showed his colors when confronted with the lies he told!  My heart goes out to Elizabeth and the children.  I hope she gets help  emotionally.  Evidently, Matt has zapped all of her self-esteem out of her.  Your a beautiful young lady and I'm sure a good mother, your in my prayers.

 
February 14, 2008, 9:42 am CST

Good Point

Quote From: iambetht

You say that you believe he actually believes what he says.  I have an ex husband that I have believed actually believes what he says, too.  However, if he really did believe what he said, then wouldn't the polygraph test have indicated truthful answers.  I just think they have repeated the lies so many times & lie so constantly that they are very, very convincing & just great liars.  I have always wondered if my ex is actually aware of the truth or not. 

 

After raging fits, my ex would re-tell me a story of how a hole got in the wall or the phone jack was ripped out of the wall.  I would have witnessed the incident & knew what he said was not what happened.  However, when he did these things, I began questioning myself.  Didn't I just see something else happen?  These guys are just liars & trying to drive their spouses to insanity.

 

This helped me today.  Even though I've been away from this man for 9 years, I have never gotten answers to many questions.  I've wondered so often if they really believe what they are saying or not.  I'd say they really know the truth (now after seeing the poly results). 

Good Point and glad to hear you are away from that person.

 
February 14, 2008, 9:56 am CST

02/14 Lies and Betrayal

Tell you what...you can defend Internet dating all you want, but too often I see tragic stories of couples meeting on the net and marrying with disastrous results!! This couple today are a good example.

 

I think you are opening yourself up to all kinds of freaks who can say anything they want...both of these people lied their butts off to each other....and it's too easy to do when you are not face-to-face. Since you cannot discern the good from the bad over the net, why take the chance? It's just too dangerous.

 

And then, these two stupidly rushed into marriage and had a couple of kids, which only added to the disaster! Now, instead of just their own lives being in shambles, they have selfishly involved three other lives....her son by another man, and then their own two girls.

 

Dr. Phil was right when he said "Alarm bells should have gone off when you arrived in Florida and had to sleep in the car when your husband tells you he lost the keys to his million-dollar mansion"! Duh!! My immediate response would have been, "Well, let's go to your house, pull up in the driveway and CALL A LOCKSMITH!!"

I think the wife was looking for an easy life and was thinking this guy had money and would give that to her and her son, so she turned a blind eye to common sense. When you look for an easy way out, you get into trouble....every time!  

 

What a shame.

 

The couple who took this loser in, I believe, were also motivated by greed. And, letting him sleep in their bed?? Come ON!  What kind of weirdos would allow a near stranger to even come into their homes, let alone sleep in their bed?!  Do the words "serial killer" mean anything to you? 

 

THINK, people!! Use common sense; listen to your inner voice; your "gut instinct"! Don't blindly believe ANYone....check up on them! We live in the age of technology; we have access to information about people!  You can run, but you can't hide these days. The information is out there....use it!

 

www.nononsensegrammytree.blogspot.com/ check it out for articles on parenting, in-laws (and outlaws), teen pregnancy and many other relevant issues.

 

  

 

 
February 14, 2008, 9:59 am CST

02/14 Lies and Betrayal

What is this guy a 3 yr. old who had a night mare and needs to crawl into bed with mommy and daddy???

And what is with the couple who are playing along with this????Dr. Phil is right they don't deserve this. This weirdo is totally taking advantage of the fact that they're son passed away. Disgraceful.

There are so many layers of crazy and creepy here I can't even see straight!!!

And just like a child he didn't get his way so he says on TV his kids are dead to him??!! Good God!

Poor woman, she got alot more than she bargained for when she signed on the Internet that day!

I wish you well (the wife) And when you finally get totally free of this guy don't ever look back!

I feel like I fell down the rabbit hole just watching this guy I can't imagine being the wife!

~Nixi

 

 

 

 
February 14, 2008, 10:15 am CST

02/14 Lies and Betrayal

Quote From: waihini1

OMG! This subject is near to me and my home.

I too married the grand faker- he did all the "right things" when we met, dated, were engaged and the first year to almost 2 yrs we were married, then close to our 2nd anniversary, he warped into someone I didn't recognize. He became distant and cold towards me, all romance halted except for the sex, of course he still wanted that (back then anyway, not now). All the cards he sent, be it ecards or real ones stopped, he didn't want to take me on 3 vacations a year, but now it was down to ONE and it was always some place HE wanted to go, I had no say in it. I found various "clues" that pointed toward him cheating but never could really prove it totally, it was just an insidious feeling that hung in the air between us.

He has his own cell phone and got calls in the middle of the night, one time I got into his voice mail and found some female voice left a message that said, hey sexy, I miss you call me soon. I confronted him about this message and he claimed he had NO idea who that was and no he wasn't cheating, BUT from that time on he made damn sure he turned his phone off at night, hid it from me and if it was visible he deleted all the call history on it, so I didn't see who he was calling or who was calling him.

I have tried over and over to communicate with him about problems that I see we have, tried to get him to counseling with me too (he went one time then refused to go again as "he didn't have any problems and didn't need to go". Each time I tried to tell him of my unhappiness, he would turn things around on me, and make it sound like I was crazy or he would get mad and tell me he is going to divorce me. This has been going on now for almost THREE yrs. I cannot keep living like this, this man behaves like he hates me not loves me- he ignores me most of the time he is home, the other times he acts all nice nice so he can manipulate me into giving him sex once a month! I am not allowed to see my family and have to spend time with his family constantly- they come first in his life, always will and I am not considered part of this family unit, nor are my children or grandchildren by this man

All I can say to you is leave if you can as things will only get worse and you will only get more and more unhappy.

People will do to you what you ALLOW them to do! Once you figured out that your husband was a liar and a cheat, won't change, and is making your life miserable, why have you not left?

 

Don't choose to stay in a bad situation and then continuously gripe about it.

GET OUT OF YOUR BED AND RE-MAKE IT!!

 

www.nononsensegrammytree.blogspot.com/   check it out...I think you will find some relevant issues that may apply to your situation. Click on "January" and scroll down to the article titled "Even A Turtle....." for starters.  

 
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