Message Boards

Topic : 07/21 Lies and Betrayal

Number of Replies: 828
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, February 08, 2008, 12:23:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/14/08) When you get married, you look forward to a life filled with love, happiness and security. But what do you do if you find out your spouse has been telling you lies and is someone completely different than the person you thought you knew? Elizabeth says her husband of three years, Matt, is a pathological liar, a con man and an alcoholic. She says he has lied about everything from what he does for a living to dying of cancer so that she would marry him. Matt says Elizabeth is a sociopath, and he accuses her of molesting her 12-year-old son. When Dr. Phil interrogates them with tough questions, will the truth come out? In an effort to sift through the mudslinging and get to the truth, Matt and Elizabeth agree to take a lie detector test. One of the two was deceitful in answering every question. Find out who. Next, hear from Randy and Rhonda, a couple who took Matt in and are caring for him because they believe he may be living the last phase of his life. Will Matt's shocking statements change their view of him? Dr. Phil has a strong warning for this couple. Then, Matt and Elizabeth are currently separated and negotiating custody of their two young daughters. See the argument that ensues outside the courthouse when Elizabeth accuses Matt of sleeping in the same bed with Rhonda. And, what shocking statement does Matt make about his daughters? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 28, 2008, 9:53 pm CDT

BEEN THERE - FINNALLY FIGURED OUT THE TRUTH

   AS A FAMILY WE HAVE EXPERIENCED A CHARACTER IN OUR LIFE JUST LIKE THE HUSBAND IN THIS SHOW...I AM LATE IN LEARNING THESE TRUTHS MYSELF - BUT I FINALLY GET IT!  WOOHOO!

1) PEOPLE OFTEN ACCUSE OTHERS OF THINGS THAT THEY THEMSELVES ARE GUILTY OF -                WHAT IS HE SAYING? - DOES THIS  REALLY MIRROR HIS OWN STATE OF MIND?
2) NOW - INSTEAD OF THE TALK...LOOK AT THAT  WALK !!!
3) THEY QUITE OFTEN HAVE SOME FANTASTIC STORY TO TELL -
   WATCH OUT CAUSE SOMETHING IS PROBABLY UP AND A SCAM IS GETTING READY TO UNFOLD.
4) IT IS FOOLISHNESS TO NOT LEARN FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE (I WAS REALLY DENSE) -
   HOW MANY TIMES DOES HE HAVE TO LIE & MANIPULATE BEFORE YOU FINALLY GET IT? 
   THIS IS A RED FLAG THAT YOU NEED SOME HELP IN FINDING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!!!
5) KIDS DO NOT BENEFIT FROM BEING IN THE ENVIRONMENT WITH THESE PEOPLE -
   GET SOME COURAGE AND DON'T FALL FOR HOW MUCH HE IS HURTING...BOOHOO...
    KIDS CAN BE TERRIBLY DAMAGED BY THEIR BEHAVIOR....
  
   IT TOOK US YEARS TO RECOVER, AND I AM GUILTY OF BEING STUPID... 
   BUT I LISTENED TO THE SHOW TODAY - AND I THANK GOD THAT I WAS ABLE TO PICK UP THE CLUES AND COULD HAVE PREDICTED ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT THE HUSBAND PULLED...!  THERAPY WORKS BY THE WAY - SPEAKING PERSONALLY!

   THESE CHARACTERS ALWAYS LET OTHERS PAY FOR THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES AND USUALLY DON'T STAY IN ONE PLACE LONGER THAN IT TAKES A LANDLORD TO FIGURE OUT THE CHECKS AREN'T ANY GOOD...AND EXTENDED FAMILY QUITE OFTEN PAYS FOR MOST OF THE CARE OF THE FAMILY BECAUSE THEY GET THOSE DESPERATE CALLS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT...

   AND THE FELLAS ARE ALWAYS SICK OR DYING, OR THEIR KIDS ARE, OR THEIR WIFE IS...
IT GETS GREAT SYMPATHY...THE ALCOHOL OR PILLS ARE NOT ADMITTED TO WHEN THEY USE IT - BUT THEY EXPERIENCE SO MUCH ANXIETY AS THE SCAM GOES ON & ON & ON...THEY GET NERVOUS - IT IS HARD WORK TO KEEP UP WITH ALL OF THOSE LIES.

   OUR LIARS'  ACTIVITY  HAD ALL OF US INVESTIGATED BY THE FEDS BEFORE HE WAS FINALLY ARRESTED AND SERVED 3 DIFFERENT JAIL SENTENCES; HE CHEATED EVERYONE INCLUDING THE KIND HEARTED  MINISTRY  WHO WERE REACHING OUT TO HIM WHEN HE WAS IN JAIL. HE USED THEM TO TRY TO GET US DRAWN IN AGAIN, AND THEY SIMPLY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE WERE FED UP... UNTIL AFTER HELPING HIM ONCE HE WAS OUT OF JAIL, AND HE RAN OFF WITH THEIR VEHICLE AND OWING THEM MONEY...

   HE WAS VERY GOOD AT FEIGNING  A HEART ATTACK WHICH WOULD EVEN GET HIM A STAY IN THE HOSPITAL FOR FREE.  HE COULD ALSO CRY AT THE DROP OF A HAT.  THE CLAIM THAT HIS SPOUSE IS CRAZY...AND THAT HE'S THE SANE ONE...IS OH SO FAMILIAR...

WE HAVE BEEN THERE - BUT FINALLY STOPPED BEING VICTIMS - AND GOT SMART AND STRONG.
HOPE YOU CAN DO THE SAME.





 
July 28, 2008, 10:49 pm CDT

Whatever Happened To.....

What ever happened in the months following a 2-14-08 show involving a guest named Matthew?  Did the people he was living with and "conning" come to their senses?   That man needed a lot of help?
 
July 29, 2008, 12:14 am CDT

You are not alone

In 1991 I met the same exact type of guy. He swept me off my foot and convinced me to marry him. It happened so fast. After we were married he changed. He would insult me in comparison to his previous wife. I was wife number 3. This man has been married 14 times to my knowledge today. He lied to me but because I loved him I felt I needed to trust him. That trust faded real fast after I found a love letter one month after we were married. I left him 2 months into the marriage and I was one month pregnant. I had two boys from a previous marriage and I got out as fast as possible. I needed to for the safety of my boys and my unborn. I went years without talking to him until he contacted us when our daughter was 13. I told my daughter that he is her father and that she needed to beware that she shouldn't believe everything that comes out of his mouth. He to would say hurtful things to her one minute and the next things would be okay. He would become so angry when he was caught in a lie. He lied so much that he believed his lies. Sort of made me laugh when he called after 13 years asking me who I was because he had amnesia and he just didn't remember. He said that he got child support papers in the mail and just didn't know. I know that his contact has alterier motives but I only think since he continues to call that he thinks he could get his foot in the door again and take financially what he wants and move on again. That isn't going to happen again, I learned about him fast but not fast enough for him ro ruin my credit and put me into deep debt. Through the years I have crawled out of the debt hole and have moved on. He continues to tell me about his cars and expensive houses and his businesses. If he had all what he says he has then the DA child support division would catch up to him. This man has never paid support to any of his numerous children from his numerous marriages. Because of him it has made me hesitant to form new relationships. The best thing that your man has given you is your children and let those children know that they are loved and their dad is not a portrait of who they are. God Bless you and good luck.
 
July 29, 2008, 9:52 pm CDT

07/21 Lies and Betrayal

Quote From: samsmomfl

With all due respect...those children were abandoned LONG before they were even thought of.  His life was a lie from the minute they met and she should have known better than to marry him....you can't tell me that she didn't see the warning signs, anyone could have seen them.  Shame on her for sitting there and crying speak up and defend those children and tell him to get lost.

Thank you for understanding exactly what I was feeling......

 
July 29, 2008, 9:54 pm CDT

07/21 Lies and Betrayal

Quote From: katerine

I seriously doubt that she was crying at the end because she'd been holding out hopes of getting back together with him.

 

It's far, far more likely that she was crying because he was saying cruel things about her children... his children.

 

"They are dead to me. You can have them."

 

It doesn't get any more cruel than that.

 

She was crying, because she was in pain on their behalf. They'd just been abandoned by their father.

To Katerine

 

Thank you for understanding exactly what I was feeling.....

 
July 29, 2008, 10:13 pm CDT

07/21 Lies and Betrayal

Quote From: patti07666

I had Matt pegged from the first glimpse I got of him during the introduction to the show. His eyes said it all. He's a conniving con artist and a manipulator, not to mention an abusive bully. Someone like Elizabeth, a sweet, eager- to -please young woman, is often the perfect target for someone like him.

 

Yes, Elizabeth misrepresented herself online, a very common thing, especially when a woman wants to appear "special". She did come clean very quickly. It sounds like he taunted her emotionally with the talk of his ex, a stripper and hot looking woman. In her somewhat immature but innocent way, Elizabeth told a white lie about being a phone sex operator. Silly, but it sounds like Matt was already doing a number on her and provoked her into being jealous.

 

Matt's deception is far more serious. He takes the offensive when he is being cornered, like a junk yard dog. Bravo to Dr. Phil for standing up to him.

 

The poor couple who is involved with Matt right now...well, they seem to be incredibly nice people, a bit naive, and what's the deal with having them share a bed with Matt?? It's amazing how someone as skilled as Matt in conning someone can have otherwise sensible folks doing crazy things.

 

A classic example of Matt's bullying is his final parting end run shot tonight: OK, you can have the kids, and I never want to see them or you again. He sure knows how to push Elizabeth's buttons. He knew that would get her. But again, good for you, Dr. Phil.  Disown your own flesh and blood on national TV just to get the last word, because you KNOW you're drowning in your own deception?? Show the cad the door!

 

The look on Elizabeth's face during the show made me want to cry. She is so traumatized by him. Her own parents are right about him. I do think she still harbors love somewhere in her broken heart for him and is trying to understand and come to grips with how someone in this world could do this to her and her kids. Yes, Elizabeth...there are bad people in this world. And I'm sorry you had to meet and marry one. The Internet is fraught with dangers of people like him lurking around and wanting a nice, pliable woman to play and take advantage of.

 

Yes, she made some foolish choices along the way and unfortunately had to suffer the consequences. As Dr. Phil said, Didn't some bells go off at some point? All I can tell you is that love can be blind and the Internet can blur the lines of truth and reality.  Especially for someone as seemingly vulnerable and inexperienced as Elizabeth.

 

It may seem like the end of the world for you now, Elizabeth, but it is actually the beginning of a new life for you and those precious children. Be happy you got out before the girls got bigger and they would become the victims of his abuse. You are young and beautiful and you will find happiness. Stay close to God and to your parents.

To Pattie07666

 

I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time and writing in that really it my thoughts...

 
July 30, 2008, 9:50 am CDT

I agree

Quote From: drendo1

  Information about a person's education falls under the right to privacy law.  The  University of Michigan would not release the information to Dr. Phil, a television host, by his own admission not a practicing doctor of anything.  I think the whole situation is made up.

     I too believe this was a ploy to get him to tell the truth.  Is lying to get someone to tell the truth not as bad as the person telling the original lie?  Unless he signed a consent form, you can't just call up a university and ask if someone was enrolled. 
 
September 8, 2008, 7:02 am CDT

07/21 Lies and Betrayal

Quote From: amysrivera

Actually this is not true. I work in Enrollment for a well known university and there is basic information that can be given out without violation FERPA (compliance rules for education).
You obviously do not work for a university.  A signed release does have to be obtained.  Anyone, such as Phil Mcgraw, does need a signed release.  (A TV host, not a licensed psychologist)
 
First | Prev | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 | 82 | 83 | Next Page | Last Page