I too am very concerned for these children, not just their present well being but for their future. Some background to explain where I am coming from...My father is misguided much the same way that this young man is, what I find interesting is they are both educated men. My father at one point had he and my two sisters living in a homeless shelter because he believed that God had called him to quit his job and I have never truly figured out what he was supposed to do. Pretty much the only reason why he works now is because his hand has been forced but from what I have been able to figure out is he has always had these grandoise (sp?) visions of being a highly followed spiritual leader and stressed while growing up that "it is better to give than to receive", however at one point I realized if that was the case then shouldn't we be the giver's and not the receivers at some point too? My father has a background in excessive barrowing of money, he has used my mother as an excuse, yet despite after thier divorse many of these patterns that he blamed on her he was doing and I didn't see much of it in my mom. My dad also "worked" hard yet never was truly productive, never truly stuck with anything. Something else that he would do was when he did have funds instead of providing for his family first he would buy books of his choosing for whatever church he had decided god was leading him to at the time and would critisize men who "gave thier children everything". Being a parent myself I look back and realize these men were not "giving their children everything" but were doing thier job to provide for their family first and make sure that their children not only had a good start in life but to help create good christian stewards that were not sores on society.
I will admit that being raised in this way did warp my thinking on many matters, I am so blessed to have been led to a wonderful christian husband that has been able to open my eyes to exactly what the scriptures do say, help me break the "cherry picking" habit, and discover freedom in making and having money.
I am not talking about "shopping money" but not feeling guilty for taking care of my family and meeting thier NEEDS but also being able to be a giver, which truly is a huge blessing. If these children are being raised with the mindset that they were put on this earth to be given to it will create in them a warped sense of personal responsibility, does not build self esteem and ultimatly will make them drains on society. One of my sisters has chosen the same lifestyle, choosing to use the circumstances of her life as an excuse to 'need" help from others and to ultimatly not accept responsibility, yet she has such high standards she gets insulted if someone takes pity on her and gives her something not up to par with her standards (i.e. name brand etc..)
Another thing these children I am sure will be facing is the pressure to take care of thier parents, this same selfishness will at some point be directed at the children, as soon as my husband and I were married we were expected to take pity on my father and let him use our house phone as if his own, we offered my sister who was of driving age a beat up truck so she could get a job, my father made an issue about it being a peice of junk, yes well it was free and would get her from A-B until she could save enough money to buy her own vehicle, which she only did when no one was coming to her aid at one point. This has put a strain on my husband and I's relationship, until I realized that my first responsibility was to my husband and children, we have now been deemed the selfish ones (for choosing to take care of our immediate family first) and in comparison to many we do not have much.
Fortunatly my father only produced 3 girls, and out of the three only one has taken on the same mindset as he. I am sick thinking about how this man is shaping his kids, if his kids do choose a lifestyle different from his that does follow gods word what they will face in terms of being rejected and condemned by thier parents (which no matter how strained and derainged the relationship it is still very difficult) the strain it will put on their future relationships with trying to raise a family, I know in our experiance parents with thier own agenda will push a couple very close to divorce, in our case we have both had to choose each other and our children and put such boundaries as "If you cannot respect us and our boundaries then you are not welcome to come around" at this point it has been 3 years since I have spoken to my father and we are going on a year not speaking to my husbands family (another long story I am sure I will share at somepoint when Dr. Phil hs that special).
I hope and pray that this man turns it around before it is too late, because right now it just seems he is hurting his parents but in the future he is hurting as of now 7 future family's and thier children and thier children if they take on the same stance as he. I agree in being self sufficent, but living off of charity is not being self sufficent nor is it relying on God. Do not get me wrong thier is a time and place for charity, the bible specificly cites Widows and orphans, and I think it is an insult to people who fall into that category because only they know what it is like to rely on God in that way.
(Original Air Date: 02/15/08) What happens when a parent’s agenda becomes so extreme that his or her children are forced to live a harsh, stoic existence? Dan and Janna are a college-educated couple married for 15 years with seven children, ages ranging from 2 weeks to 14. They have no income, no heat, no running water and are about to lose their house. Dan and Janna believe that their primitive lifestyle is God’s will, and that they are being led by the Lord. Janna’s mom, Carol, and stepdad, Rich, are worried about the health of their grandchildren. Are they eating enough? Are they warm enough? They say because the children are home schooled, they live in a cult-like home environment, and are not exposed to the outside world. Carol and Rich are willing to bail this family out one last time, but why are Dan and Janna refusing the help? After eight failed businesses, why won’t Dan get a job to support his family? Where will they go when they are forced out of their home? Talk about the show here.
