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Topic : 08/18 "Sober Up or Else!"

Number of Replies: 429
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Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:47:29 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/18/08) Living with an alcoholic parent is one of the most difficult and heart-wrenching experiences a child can go through. Heather, 28, and Alexandra, 21, say their mother, Joey, is a pathetic drunk, and if she doesn’t get clean once and for all, they will walk away from her forever. Joey says she had her first drink at 7 and was drinking heavily every weekend by 15. She’s now 54 and about to lose everything she holds dear. Former guest and drug addict Joani began documenting Joey’s addiction a month ago. Faced with home video footage and testimonials from her family members, will Joey have the courage to take a step toward sobriety, or will she cave in to her addiction like she did after her previous stints in rehab? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 16, 2008, 12:43 pm CST

REALITY OF DRIVING DRUNK SMARTEN UP PEOPLE

CHECK OUT THESE SPACES ON MYSPACE DEVOTED TO THOSE WHO LOST LOVED ONES TO DRINKING AN DRIVING. IT WAS MY BROTHER. 38 YEARS AGO KILLED BY A DRUNK DRIVER ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD, SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY. TIME HEALS NO WOUNDS. JUST LESSENS THE PAIN. CLICK ON THESE SITES YOU JUST MAY CHANGE YOU WAY OF DRIVING AND STOP THE DRINKING.

 

www.myspace.com152415923       also    www.myspace.com/302015846 

 

BUT BEST OF ALL A SHOCKER IF YOU HAVE NOT HEARD IS THIS ONE  SAD SAD DAY   

 

                       www.myspace.com/307161215

 

I AM FOR REAL FOLKS! LET'S END THIS NOW. I HAVE A TOMBSTONE ON MYSPACE. I AM KALI4INADAZED @    www.myspace.com/274516132 

 

MAYBE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND HOPEFULLY IF NOT I DON'T KNOW WE SHOULD LOCK YOU UP. THE MAN WHOM KILLED MY BROTHER HAD 5 PREVIOUS DUI'S AND KILLED MY 4EVER 18 YEAR OLD BROTHER. SMARTEN UP PEOPLE. DO SOMETHING. THIS I PRAY YOU SHOW ON YOUR SHOW OR GIVE THEM TO THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE SCENES. CHECK US OUT DR. PHIL,  I AM NOT ASHAMED BUT OF THESE PEOPLE I AM. GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF IF NOT FOR YOURSELF FOR OTHER'S WHO SUFFER DUE TO YOUR NEGLIGENCE AN STUPIDITY. GET SOME HELP WHICH I AM SURE WILL BE OFFERED. GOD BLESS YOU TO. HOPE YOU DON'T  HAVE TO KILL SOMEONE TO GET THE MESSAGE,. I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU TO NOT KILL ANOTHER INNOCENT PERSON PLEASE.

 
February 16, 2008, 12:50 pm CST

02/18 "Sober Up or Else!"

Quote From: debnhra

I too am a drunk...began at age 3 with my first sips of my Dad's beer...Loved it...started drinking at age 13 (stealing from my parents fridge)...been drinking ever since...my 3 boys have definately been effected by my drinking in various ways, neglect being number one...my husband tired of my drinking many years ago...anyway, I will be watching Monday to see if she can do it...Today is my 44th Birthday!...I wish Joey luck...maybe she can inspire me...Deb

Hey Deb.  You hang in there girlfriend! The first step is knowing that a problem exists.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!  ( I have 3 boys too!).

 

Donna

 
February 16, 2008, 12:57 pm CST

TO I AM A DRUNK TO GOD HELP YOU

Quote From: debnhra

I too am a drunk...began at age 3 with my first sips of my Dad's beer...Loved it...started drinking at age 13 (stealing from my parents fridge)...been drinking ever since...my 3 boys have definately been effected by my drinking in various ways, neglect being number one...my husband tired of my drinking many years ago...anyway, I will be watching Monday to see if she can do it...Today is my 44th Birthday!...I wish Joey luck...maybe she can inspire me...Deb
WELL YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE IT. LOOK WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOUR FAMILY, YOUR BOYS MIGHT BE THE ONE WHOM DRIVES AND KILLS SOMEONE BECAUSE OF YOU MOTHER. YES THEY ARE NEGLECTED, WHY YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T ADMIT YOU FOR HELP, I WONDER IF HE CARES AND IF SO DO SOMETHING FOR HER IF YOU LOVE HER. READ MY LAST POST I GAVE THREE MYSPACE SITES FOR PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU TO LOOK AT THEY ARE OPEN TO ANYONE. DON'T LOOK FOR INSPIRATION FROM ANOTHER DRUNK HONEY. INSPIRE YOURSELF TO DO MORE FOR YOURSELF FIRST, THEN YOUR KIDS. THEN HUSBAND. MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHECK IN SOMEWHERE GIRLFRIEND GET THE HELP YOU NEED. I KNOW DR, PHIL IS AWESOME BUT YOU NEED TO DO IT FOR YOURSELF DEAR. I WILL PRAY YOU DON'T KILL ANYONE, YOURSELF, YOUR CHILDREN. OR ANOTHER SO YOU CHILDREN WILL BE WITHOUT YOU AS YOU GO TO JAIL AND THE ONE'S YOU KILLED WILL EFFECT MANY. DR. PHIL  SHOW THEM THE PAGES ON MYSPACE WHICH ARE SO REAL. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. AN HELP YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEB 44 DRUNK SINCE 3 WHERE WERE YOUR PARENT'S. BUT YOU ARE TO BE RESPONSIBLE NOW DEB. HELP YOURSELF ONE DAY AT A TIME. PLEASE PEOPLE CARE. MY BROTHER WAS KILLED 38 YEARS AGO BY A DRUNK DRIVER ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD AN KILLED TOMMY BROKE HIS BRAIN STEM, BRAIN DEAD, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR MY PARENTS TO PULL THE SWITCH IT'S LIKE KILLING YOUR OWN CHILD. THEN THEY DIVORCED AND THE FAMILY SPLIT UP. 8 KIDS, ONE DEAD, NO MORE FAMILY CAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU CHOOSE TO DRINK AN DRIVE. I WANT TO INSPIRE YOU  MY FRIEND. PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU DRIVE AND IF THEY PUT UP THOSE MYSPACE PAGES FOR YOU ALL TO LOOK AT IT WOULD MAKE OUR DAY AND THE FAMILY'S WHOM HAVE LOST LOVED ONES IT'S ALL THERE. TAKE A LOOK LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU IN CHANGING YOUR LIFE TODAY! XOXO
 
February 16, 2008, 12:59 pm CST

Living with a mother that is a acholic

    Hello Dr Phil.

        This is David from Washington state I have seen previews of the show that is coming up on Monday I am a male 55 year old my mother was a acholic all her life from the time I can remember she died at the age of  60 I remember living with aunt and uncles and grandmother and great grandmother the times I did live with my mother we where on welfare she would take the welfare check and go to the beer joint and spend the money on beer,wine and a the other bad stuff that is out there I remember calling my great grandmother that was at the age of 66 and all ready raised 13 kids of her own I would call her up she would call a taxi for me to come to her house you know and she had to put away 5 of her own kids before she died in Jan. 13 1983 my grandmother and great grandmother come up to see my new baby in Oct 3 1982 and my son was born ed 9/07/1982 Christopher Allen and my greadgrandmother died that  Jan of the next year . I cried for so many years wonting a good mother but it just did'nt happen so at about the age of 12 or 13 I  said  no more if my mother wants to kill her self so be it and from that point on I told my self when I have kids my kids are not ever going to see what i had to go threw all of my life . There was no father there all of my life to this day it was so hard to raised up without good parents but I made it and I am so thankful for the people that did care for me like my Aunt Mary Jane Farrar from redding Calif she was one of the aunts I lived with and she told me at the age of 9 that there is a better life out there and I helt on to that all of my life so at the age of 22 I got marriaged in 1974 had my first  son in 1975 David Earl and my second son in 1982 and I was there for my 2 boys all of there life never drink I was so sick of  alcohol from being around it all of my young life that they could of taken it off the face of the earth and it would make me happy.I was married for 20 years be for it come to a end my mother died in 1990 and my wife mother died in 1989 and it seem like after my wife mother died she went crazy and she was a stay at home mother for sixteen year and I work all the years from the day I got married I trained my self to be a Industrial sewing machine mechanic for 35 years always there for my kids and wife so after my wife mother died like I said she went crazy she left me and the 2 boys for a young man 2 years older then our oldest son and my oldest was 16 at the time the youngest  9 so I did what I had to do work and take care of the boys after about 6 mouths my wife wonted to come back so I let her then about 2 mouth late my youngest come to and said Daddy I am not going to lie to you any more to you mother has been seeing the next door neighbor so at this point in my life I tried so had to keep the marriage together for 4 years I refused to give up till my wife told our youngest not to tell dad that he would get up set ..That was the last straw that said that is it no more its time for a divorce I got a divorce in 1994 to this day I will never under stand a mother putting there children threw that ..Well I guess I talk enough all I am trying to say out of all of this is there hope things do change some times for the good and some times for the bad so any body going threw what seem to be the end of the world  hang on good will come from the thing we go threw in life ..Dr Phil I love you from the bottom of my heart and I watch your show all the time and Oprel to if there ever was a angel on earth you and Oparl are one

 

 
February 16, 2008, 1:32 pm CST

Sobered Up in time to Enjoy Life

I grew up with an alcoholic mother.  When I was old enough I walked out of her life for 5 years.  Then, she hit bottom, hospitalized with the DT's.  My husband insisted that she come home with us to live after being released from the hospital.  She signed up with AA and I took her to every meeting for 15 years.  We occasionally had days when we would fall off the wagon, but over time things got better.  My mother got the scare of her life when she was diagnosed with cancer and then had a stroke.  But, her last years were the best of my life.  Everyone had said there was no hope for her ever being sober, but sometimes things can change.  And, the last 13 years of her life were the best I could have ever hoped for.  My mother often said they were her best years.  For at least 13 years of our lives we were a real family, better than I could have hoped for.

 

I learned a couple of things along the way.  When one family member is an alcoholic the whole family is sick.  When she got the disease under control, I got well, too.  Also, you can't tell someone they are an alcoholic and expect results.  They have to admit it, not because you want them to, but because they know it.  Then, you can make the real changes.

 

It's not an easy road to recovery.  But, don't give up.  There is always hope.  Just don't get suckered into the guilt that goes with being a family member of an alcoholic. 

 
February 16, 2008, 2:09 pm CST

Adult Child

There are so many walking wounded from this dreadful disease.
I refer to it as 'genetic napalm'
I consciously snubbed alcohol, as my Father chose to end his life with it.
And Watched it nearly take my brother, and I lost my Best friend to it, in October.
I don't think that anyone sets out to become a drunk.
No one wakes up one day and decides to adopt a lifestyle that is this destructive.
But it is, wildly destructive. And so painful for the survivors of it.
I will never understand it.
And I am so grateful to have had the sense to never drink.
 
February 16, 2008, 2:58 pm CST

02/18 "Sober Up or Else!"

Quote From: cate45

This will be a sad show. My biggest personality problem is that I had a Mom with a drinking  problem, no she was a drunk, but when she was straight she was a  great dresser, a red hat wearer, a real looker but she had that awful disease. I have listened to you enough to know that both you and Robin had alcoholic parents, and it  is sad. The thing is you can not walk away from them. You have to learn to live your own life and detach from their lives. That way you can still see them but realize that they have their life and you have yours. My Mom lived to be 80 years old. She was diagnosed with dementia and she forgot that she drank and  smoked when she was 78. But hey, she could watch "It's a Wonderful Life" 52 times in a row and love it like it was the first!

 

Good luck to the daughters! 

 

    Having been a co-dependent myself, married to two alcoholics, I can understand how those girls feel.  It is terribly painful watching someone that you love drink themselves to death.  Logically, we know they should stop drinking.  Because you are the only sober person, you feel that you should take over, and make decisions for them.  So, we wheel out or ultimatums!

      "Sober up or Else!"

      It doesn't work.  The drunk misses booze, the great love of their life.  The drunk blames you, and drifts off on a pity-party with a keg of beer tucked under each arm.  

 
February 16, 2008, 3:29 pm CST

I understand

I am an adult child of alcoholic parents. I know theproblemsand missery thissituation can cause. It was not until after I was grown and married that my parents stopped drinking. They never admitted they were alcoholics, even after they stopped drinking. I was an overweight teen (high of 200lbs) with a very low self-esteem, which caused me to basically hide in my room with my best freind food. I went from binge  and compulsive eating to becoming bulemic to becoming anorexic (low of 98 lbs). Even while I was hospitalized for this eating disorder and attending group, private and family therapy my parents denied their problem and mine. I, by the grace of God, was able to finally get a grip on my eating disorder and straighten myself out. I am now a healthy hapiily married mother of 3 young boys. I am a certfied personal trainer, and a certifed "Spinning" instrctor now. I still struggle with body image and food issues and always will. My husband and I both drink, responsibly, and enjoy it. My Father died in 1996 of lung cancer, never openly admitting he was an alcoholic. My Mother died last April. The word "Alcoholic" never passed her lips she did finally admit to causing so much pain and greif  to meand my sister. I have the peace of having forgiven her many years ago, she is my Mom, and I do love her. The same is true for my Dad. I am at peace with this and know in my heart they loved me and my sister regardless of there actions. My sister is unable to reach this point and I see her still suffering. It breaks my heart. I can only say to those kids that it is hard and so unfair. There is hope and there is and life can be good. Keep your chin up. Good Luck!!
 
February 16, 2008, 4:55 pm CST

Hard Rock Bottom

Until she is ready for help everyone is wasting time and money. I know because of my Brother. He had to get to his lowest and wanted help. I think Dr. Phil makes it to easy for some people. Just like the twins the one agreed just to shut everyone up. If her daughter gives or ELSE she better be prepare. The withdrawls are awful. She does not want to give up her best friend, her lover, and the bottle does not talk back
 
February 16, 2008, 5:13 pm CST

02/18 "Sober Up or Else!"

Quote From: hpmx59

Doctor Else Or Phil Sober Up. I hate to see anyone drink and drive and get someone else hurt. See you----

on Monday Feburary 18th, 2008. (Day Happy Presidents.) Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------

Russell Vlaanderen, do you know there is a guy with the same name as you, who is involved with the Education Commission? What do you say about that?
 
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