Topic : 08/18 "Sober Up or Else!"

Dearest Heather, I dreamed of you last night  or more to the point I saw you laugh. I went through every emotion with you and felt the ones you were holding back. I grew up with  that Mother, and to say the least as the eldest , redheaded child of a alcoholic female, I know there is nothing you wouldn't do to save her and have her whole and need you and acknowledge you and Honey i am here to tell you this. TURN AROUND and see all those people that have been supporting you and loving you and accepting you . THEY are the ones that matter right now.  It's like your the link to those that are on the cliff , holding you by the ankles, keeping you grounded because that Mother is off the side, falling fast and the only thing keeping them linked the her is you, and they are there ONLY for you.     LET that Mother go, save yourself.  Find your life, You have done a Great job in corralling  Mother  Let Her go for you need a life to call your own. Do you know how to show people how  okay you are??  Live it. Live a happy life, laugh.    Sweetie, 7 years ago My Mother called, drunk as usual and told me I was   " laughed to much and had way too many friends" She is right  and  I know I have done right by my life in the FAct that she finds  these bad things. Life sucks for her when outside the bottle.

  Blessed Be  Dear Heather and let No harm Come to thee..........A kindered spirit....Christine 

and thank God I'm done with it.  I don't have to argue this issue with anyone anymore.  By the way, I know a 10 year old boy with cancer, he doesn't have the choice an alcoholic has, neither does his family.  To call alcoholism a disease insults me.  I lived with it, I learned about it, I read about it, I spoke about it, so don't tell me to educate myself about it.  To call alcoholism a disease is just making another excuse for it.  My father was blessed enough to live to 82 years old without ever having to suffer a real disease.  Go visit a children's cancer hospital; those poor kids don't have the luxury of choice in their lives.  Let's pray to God for the children and the people in this world who are stricken with cancer, that they find the life luxury of "choice" and resources to help them get better.  Talk to a parent of a child with cancer or a child with a parent who has cancer, so don't tell me I have it twisted "dear."  It's called having my priorities straight.

on both side of this show. My adoptive mother was an alcoholic and as always the disease progressed over the years to the point where she did absolutely nothing but sit at home and drink until the time she drank herself to death. It was sad but it was the best thing that ever happened to her and me and my siblings. I always told myself that I would never be like her, I would never do what she had done to my kids. Well never say never. I too also became an alcoholic, and I still am, even though I am sober for 16+ years. I did hurt my kids emotionally, I went though two marriages, but today I have the love of my kids. I saw the light and realized that I had to do something or take the chance of losing the most important things in my life, my kids. I am so grateful that I had the support of many to help me get through the rough times early on in my sobriety, but thank goodness my kids were there to help. I just want to say to the two daughters on the show that if you have to walk way then walk. There is nothing you can do unless your mother is ready to help herself. Do not beat yourself up over and over again as it will not help her get sober, walk away, she has to hit bottom before she will be ready to climb back up, she has to show you her willingness to be a part of your lives, she has to earn your respect. It may sound harsh to tell you to walk away but I do not want to see you get hurt anymore. You both need to have your happy lives and not live in the same the same hell as your mother is. I have the respect of many today, but most important is my kids and I would not change that again again for anything.

Best of luck!!!

Thanks for your comment. I feel your pain with the prison thing. My younger brother finally gets out next month and it will start all over again.

You know I once believed life shouldn't be a struggle and then I came to conclusion that maybe it is supposed to be for some. Who am I to think I was entitled to a great life when there are so many out there suffering from nonaddictive circumstances. My life isn't a bad one...just a pain in the rear sometimes.

Oh and I stopped believing in God during my gambling addiction so that added to the things I have had to work to get back. Im getting there!

I'm so glad to see all the messages here that speak of those who have either successfully quit and others who have broken the cycle of chemically dependent family members. On the other hand, the overwhelming response to this topic makes it clear that addictions are alive and well around the world.

I, too, broke the cycle of chemical addictions in my family, and I'm happy to say that both of my siblings have also managed to keep themselves chemical-free. Unfortunately, our mother remains chemically dependent & I fully believe she will do so until she leaves this world. She has only briefly moved beyond the denial phase in the past and is a master at pretending that she has never believed she has a problem. My family members have watched her destroy her own life and felt the corresponding misery in our own lives for more than 50 years now. She's nearing her 74th birthday and none of us can figure out how she has managed to stay alive this long. One of the saddest things is seeing the life drain from my otherwise very healthy 78-year-old father as he sees his final years of life slip away while he takes care of a woman who has no apparent will to live but who keeps hanging on by a thread.

My heart bleeds for those of you who have gone through life with an alcoholic and/or addicted parent. It's heartbreaking, and chemical dependency in a family changes us all. I'm just glad to see that it fortifies so many of us with a solid will to break the pattern.