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Topic : 02/19 The Dr. Phil House: Rules of Engagement, Part 2

Number of Replies: 112
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Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:50:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his work with four engaged couples who wonder if they’re ready to take the plunge. With issues such as abuse, infidelity, chauvinism and unplanned pregnancy, the couples move into The Dr. Phil House to see if their relationship has a chance to survive. After completing the last leg of the teamwork challenge, tensions in the House run high as one team gives up and accuses the other of cheating. Scott is confronted about his questionable game tactics. Will he admit to cheating and apologize? Then, since the women complain that their fiancés don’t pay them enough attention, Dr. Phil invites some good-looking gentlemen to the house to pamper the women. While each woman has a one-on-one talk with an attractive stranger, the men secretly watch. Which women reveal the good, the bad and the ugly about their relationships, and which one says her man is perfect? During an intense meeting, Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells them which couples don’t stand a chance of a successful marriage. What is behind Kalin’s anger? Will Stephanie stop trying to control Steve? And, Dr. Phil makes an offer to Scott and Lisa that brings them to tears. Plus, a huge prize is at stake when a money expert quizzes the couples on how well they know their partner’s financial situation. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 19, 2008, 8:31 am CST

02/19 The Dr. Phil House: Rules of Engagement, Part 2

Quote From: pepsigirl5

my husband of 21 years.  verbally abuses me.  he calls me a whore, ugly, stupid and fat. no matter what i wear he hates it.  i am a very thin person.  he i could wear almost anything. but if i do he tells me it looks horrible, or i look like a whore.  he thinks i am cheating on him when i go to work.

he has my selfasteem so low that i do not even want to go out any were.  i lost my job because of him.

he does not work and it is so hard dealing with this, we do not communicate at.

 

i know what i need to do, but it is so hard after 21 years...........but i am trying to get my self together.

 

Carol

Lord, I am SO tired of women staying in abuse relationships when, these days, you have so many wonderful resources!

Please go to my website, WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/ , click on "January" and scroll down until you find the article titled "Even A Turtle.....". Maybe you can find some help there.

 

NO woman should live like you are, but you will continue to be abused because you are allowing it.

I cannot believe you've put up with it for 21 years.

 

Way past time for a change!

 
February 19, 2008, 8:32 am CST

Scott

Scott,

I know you, I am the step mother to your last wife's kids. You really need some help and I hope Dr. Phil will give it to you.

 
February 19, 2008, 9:07 am CST

The plot thickens...

 I love these "house" shows of Dr Phil's.
It should be apparent to everybody watching by this time that it's never all the fault of one or the other. We all come into a relationship with our own baggage and expectations of the other. Rarely do we conceive  that the other has their own baggage and expectations!
Only by taking responsibility for our own baggage, jettisoning what doesn't work and working to improve the rest, not projecting our baggage onto the other, can we make a first step in really coming together.
Then comes the second step: figuring out the baggage and expectations of the one you love and being patient and loving while they also find their way.
Sorry if this sounds patronizing, I don't mean it to be.
In my own marital quagmire some of the best advice I ever got was to be as kind as I knew how to my husband. I thought the counselor was nuts because my hubby was a total jerk at the time... What a surprise that I was no piece of cake either!
 
February 19, 2008, 9:53 am CST

What you say makes alot of sense!

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

 I said that's what I would do in MY situation.  I just don't think they seem to be ready, especially if they're on the Dr. Phil House.  And they want to bring a child into a situation where they constantly fight over money. 

 

The fact is at 19, you can't give a baby what you can 5 or 10 years later.  Just a fact.  Having more assets for your child may mean the difference between taking the baby to a free clinic or a specialist. 

 

I have EVERY right to tell them what I think and what I'd do in their situation. Just because YOU did it that way, doesn't make it the IDEAL situation in which to raise a child.  I think they should keep their options open, just because she got pregnant doesn't mean they have to get married and raise kids.  They CAN adopt out, they CAN go to college, they CAN better their situation if they want to.  They're not trapped because of a dumb choice.

 

They seem VERY naive and I don't think they fully realize yet the commitment and responsibility theyre about to take on.  Thinking before you leap is a good thing.

I tend to agree with alot of what you are saying.  While this young couple may seem more mature in comparison to the other three (and it can't be too hard to out do them in the maturity department), the fact is that 19 is very very young, and even if they love ech other and bring a child into the world with good intentions, this is not the ideal age to have children at.  First of all, they are very young themselves.  They haven't actually even reached adulthood at 19.  Like you stated in your post, at 19 they are not going to be able to give this child what they could in 5 or 10 years after they get their educations, earn money and get sttled into a house, condo or whatever living arrangement they wiill have. They are already fighting constantly over money.  This will get worse once they have a child and have even more expenses.  The child will have to come first and many many sacrifices will have to be made.  They probably won't have the chance to save much and life is going to be a financial struggle for years to come.

Another thing to consider are all the things they are going to miss out on, which will probably lead to resentment later on.  Enjoying life, college experience, going out with friends, travelling. At some point they are going to feel that they missed out, though they would probably deny that now. 

I met and started dating my (then future) husband at 19, just the age that they are now.  I knew I loved him very early on and knew I wanted to marry him. But we waited three years until we both finished our educations.  Then once married,  I worked a few more years and we got into a house before having children.  By that time we could give children a very comfortable lifestyle, and in addition, we had those few years to ourselves first to go places and do things as a couple. We didn't enter the parenting years feeling like we missed out on life.

I do wish that couple the best of luck.  It is not going to be an easy road; they are not entering parenthood under optimal circumstances so they will have to try that much harder to make things work out.

 
February 19, 2008, 10:54 am CST

The Fact of the matter....

The fact of the matter is that the girl is already pregnant!!!  No seconds thoughts as to wether or not they should have put that condomn on or took that pill. We all have made wrong choices in our lives but the fact of the matter is, it is more rude and cruel to tell someone they should give up their child just because it is your opinion that they do so. You TOLD them that is what they should instead of telling them that was your opinion.

I lost my mother to cancer at the age of 10 and along with my father helped raise my younger siblings. I have always wanted nothing more than to be a mother and wife and that I did! I got married at 17 had my daughter over a year later and had my son 3 years after that. I have been married now for 13 years and love my life, husband and children.  I have not once thought I made the wrong choice with my life and just because some young mothers and fathers don't make it together and some struggle does not mean everyone who is young can not make it in this world! Sure education is important but who said that was the most important thing in life. Also, all material things are not always the requirement. I think some people can live without T.V., Cell Phones, Cable, etc. I believe they need the basics, home, food, clothing, a vehicle(or just a ride to wherever). They have to learn on their own! God has given them this gift!!!!! I am sure they will do all they can to make the best choices in the future, if not they would not be on this show trying to get help to make a GREAT start!!!!!!!!!

 

I wish GREAT luck to the couple, I know if they love each other enough and have faith in GOD they will get through anything and raise a wonderful child!!!!!

 
February 19, 2008, 11:02 am CST

LOVE THE HOUSE SHOWS

CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH THE SHOW OUT HERE ON THE WEST COAST. I JUST LOVE THESE SHOWS. MY HUSBAND DIDN'T' WANT TO GO BE ON THE SHOW WHEN CALLED BY A STAFF MEMBER FOR THE MARRIED COUPLES,  CAUSE HE DIDN'T NEED A NEW A HOLE. WHICH HE DID. SO I GAVE HIM A HOLE PAPER FULL OF IT CALLED DIVORCE. SO WE ARE DIVORCED I WAS NOT TAKING IT ANYMORE AFTER 28 YEARS , I AM FREE. FREE FROM THE ABUSE, MENTAL, PHYSICAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL TO. I LOVE MY LIFE NOW. NOBODY GIVING ME GHB TO RAPE ME AT NIGHT, HE COULD NOT HEAR THE WORD NO AND TOOK IT INTO HIS OWN HANDS NEEDING TO SATISFY HIMSELF. HE COULD HAVE KILLED ME. ALWAYS TELLING ME I AM GOOD FOR NOTHING. WELL HERE I AM PEOPLE, ALIVE AN WELL LIKE DR. PHIL SAYS IT'S BETTER TO HEALTHY ALONE THEN SICK WITH SOMEONE ELSE. LOVING MY LIFE NOW.

 
February 19, 2008, 12:20 pm CST

Yikes - Lacey is really something!!!

There's no doubt that Stephanie is a princess and unless she grows up BEFORE the wedding Steve should move on.  In a marriage there are no "princesses" or "princes" - unless they're that new little baby.

 

She is a nicer woman than Lacey though - Lacey tears people down - she doesn't just nag - she naaaggsss.  Kalin is no bargain either -- neither of them not very nice people - and they found each other.

 
February 19, 2008, 12:53 pm CST

02/19 The Dr. Phil House: Rules of Engagement, Part 2

I think that the young couple does not have any business getting married, they might be having a child young, but to add a marriage to that at this point would not be wise.  Why do they feel the need to push that?  I mean, they can both be there for the child without getting married as well.  I think it is ridiculous that Dr. Phil is even backing that possibility.  

And to the couple wherein the guy was physically abusive to his girlfriend, are you nuts!  That is not a guy  that she needs to be marrying.  I mean , if , and only IF, they were meant to be together, it is not at this time.  These people need to get out into the world, find themselves, and then consider getting with someone. 

 

 
February 19, 2008, 1:10 pm CST

Dedication at End of Show

Does anyone know anything about the decication at the end of the show.

 

It was, "In Loving Memory of Roger King".

 
February 19, 2008, 1:17 pm CST

Communication

Marriage is constant communication. I am very lucky and my husband is absolutely wonderful. We communicate about everything both positive and negative. At the end of each day we ask each other "what was your high and low for today." We respect each other and when one of us is upset the other is there for comfort. Many people comment on the age of the 19 year olds but they seem more mature than the older couples. There is a book my husband and I bought before we were married called "The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions To Ask Before You Say I Do." This is a great book to answer questions you may not think about when you are "In love."
 
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