Topic : 02/19 The Dr. Phil House: Rules of Engagement, Part 2

 I said that's what I would do in MY situation.  I just don't think they seem to be ready, especially if they're on the Dr. Phil House.  And they want to bring a child into a situation where they constantly fight over money. 

The fact is at 19, you can't give a baby what you can 5 or 10 years later.  Just a fact.  Having more assets for your child may mean the difference between taking the baby to a free clinic or a specialist. 

I have EVERY right to tell them what I think and what I'd do in their situation. Just because YOU did it that way, doesn't make it the IDEAL situation in which to raise a child.  I think they should keep their options open, just because she got pregnant doesn't mean they have to get married and raise kids.  They CAN adopt out, they CAN go to college, they CAN better their situation if they want to.  They're not trapped because of a dumb choice.

They seem VERY naive and I don't think they fully realize yet the commitment and responsibility theyre about to take on.  Thinking before you leap is a good thing.

Lord, I am SO tired of women staying in abuse relationships when, these days, you have so many wonderful resources!

Please go to my website, WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/ , click on "January" and scroll down until you find the article titled "Even A Turtle.....". Maybe you can find some help there.

NO woman should live like you are, but you will continue to be abused because you are allowing it.

I cannot believe you've put up with it for 21 years.

Way past time for a change!

Scott,

I know you, I am the step mother to your last wife's kids. You really need some help and I hope Dr. Phil will give it to you.

I am speaking directly to you:

You are right that a college degree doesn't ALWAYS mean more money....but it sure can better your chances! Education is never wasted.

The more education you have, the more intelligent you become, and the more you have to offer your children. Just because you aren't in school and have children too young, doesn't mean you have to stop learning. There are many ways in which you can educate yourself....books, educational TV programs, (PBS is a wonderful station, as is The Discovery Channel, The Learning channel, National Geographic channel, etc.) 

I have no doubt that you love your son, but it takes way more than material things to raise a child. You need to become better educated yourself so that you can help teach your child. Think of it as a gift you will give to your child!

There's nothing more demoralizing to a young man than to go out looking for a job someday and be turned down by a potential employer who perceives him as ignorant because he cannot spell or write worth a darn, and has such awful grammar that he sounds like he hasn't gone to school a day in his life. What he learns at home, he will take out into the world some day....which is why I say that your own education, however you are able to get it, is a gift to your children! 

Please visit my website: NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM, and go to "A Letter To Teen Moms".       

I tend to agree with alot of what you are saying.  While this young couple may seem more mature in comparison to the other three (and it can't be too hard to out do them in the maturity department), the fact is that 19 is very very young, and even if they love ech other and bring a child into the world with good intentions, this is not the ideal age to have children at.  First of all, they are very young themselves.  They haven't actually even reached adulthood at 19.  Like you stated in your post, at 19 they are not going to be able to give this child what they could in 5 or 10 years after they get their educations, earn money and get sttled into a house, condo or whatever living arrangement they wiill have. They are already fighting constantly over money.  This will get worse once they have a child and have even more expenses.  The child will have to come first and many many sacrifices will have to be made.  They probably won't have the chance to save much and life is going to be a financial struggle for years to come.

Another thing to consider are all the things they are going to miss out on, which will probably lead to resentment later on.  Enjoying life, college experience, going out with friends, travelling. At some point they are going to feel that they missed out, though they would probably deny that now. 

I met and started dating my (then future) husband at 19, just the age that they are now.  I knew I loved him very early on and knew I wanted to marry him. But we waited three years until we both finished our educations.  Then once married,  I worked a few more years and we got into a house before having children.  By that time we could give children a very comfortable lifestyle, and in addition, we had those few years to ourselves first to go places and do things as a couple. We didn't enter the parenting years feeling like we missed out on life.

I do wish that couple the best of luck.  It is not going to be an easy road; they are not entering parenthood under optimal circumstances so they will have to try that much harder to make things work out.

The fact of the matter is that the girl is already pregnant!!!  No seconds thoughts as to wether or not they should have put that condomn on or took that pill. We all have made wrong choices in our lives but the fact of the matter is, it is more rude and cruel to tell someone they should give up their child just because it is your opinion that they do so. You TOLD them that is what they should instead of telling them that was your opinion.

I lost my mother to cancer at the age of 10 and along with my father helped raise my younger siblings. I have always wanted nothing more than to be a mother and wife and that I did! I got married at 17 had my daughter over a year later and had my son 3 years after that. I have been married now for 13 years and love my life, husband and children.  I have not once thought I made the wrong choice with my life and just because some young mothers and fathers don't make it together and some struggle does not mean everyone who is young can not make it in this world! Sure education is important but who said that was the most important thing in life. Also, all material things are not always the requirement. I think some people can live without T.V., Cell Phones, Cable, etc. I believe they need the basics, home, food, clothing, a vehicle(or just a ride to wherever). They have to learn on their own! God has given them this gift!!!!! I am sure they will do all they can to make the best choices in the future, if not they would not be on this show trying to get help to make a GREAT start!!!!!!!!!

I wish GREAT luck to the couple, I know if they love each other enough and have faith in GOD they will get through anything and raise a wonderful child!!!!!