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Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

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Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:51:34 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!

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johnsonlila
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February 20, 2008, 12:43 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: moshetova

Wow!  Unbelievable all of you saying she is to blame too.  Isn't it funny, rather sad actually how we are all so judgemental of the one suffering the most abuse in this relationship and we feel compelled to find something....just one shred to gang up on Karen about.  Ladies and Gentlemen, when you have had your self integrity shot down to the opitamy of  a PEA, one day you'll look back on your comment about thrusting blame towards Karen and you'll eat all of your words.  She went to Dr. Phil for help and sometimes in our lives we need to hear and listen to a completely objectional opinion, thus Karen's looking, asking and seeking his help....what part of that did you miss throughout the show.  This is her very first step to GETTING OUT.  Support would help her tremendously at this time, much more than your ridicule and judgement upon her.

 

Been there, seen it, done it.

Amen to that!!
 
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mare3053
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February 20, 2008, 12:46 pm PST

I hate to say it but I have been there and it is a shame

Quote From: moshetova

Wow!  Unbelievable all of you saying she is to blame too.  Isn't it funny, rather sad actually how we are all so judgemental of the one suffering the most abuse in this relationship and we feel compelled to find something....just one shred to gang up on Karen about.  Ladies and Gentlemen, when you have had your self integrity shot down to the opitamy of  a PEA, one day you'll look back on your comment about thrusting blame towards Karen and you'll eat all of your words.  She went to Dr. Phil for help and sometimes in our lives we need to hear and listen to a completely objectional opinion, thus Karen's looking, asking and seeking his help....what part of that did you miss throughout the show.  This is her very first step to GETTING OUT.  Support would help her tremendously at this time, much more than your ridicule and judgement upon her.

 

Been there, seen it, done it.

It is clear to see that Karens husband is a total idiot, HOWEVER, people will only do to you what you allow them to do and what you tolerate. I have been in Karens' shoes. Yes this is definately abuse, she will continue to stay in this vicious cycle until she is ready to get out.  I went through the same thing for years and it just keeps going until you finally get sick of it and for some strange reason you get a "wake up call"  After years of being called names and verbally abused, your self esteem is so far in the gutter that you subconsciously think that you can do no better. If she can't gain the strength to get out for her own good, I sure hope Dr. Phil will tell her she needs to think of the most important thing THE KIDS! Any children they have do not need to see this behavior.  this is teaching children that its ok to treat a woman this way. CHILDREN come first.  It is harmful for any child to see a parent abusing another be it physical or mental. This will teach the child that it is condonable behavior and the cycle will continue with them and their future mates She may feel that she needs to stay with him because the children need their father. Children do not need a father that will sit there and say to them. "Your mom is a B.... A W.... etc..." That is not a good father.Sure support would help tremendously, but she has to want the support. I remember going through it over and over again looking for support but then there was always some excuse. Sure be there to support her, but if she truly was ready to end this, she wouldnt be on the show, she wouldnt have let it gotten this far. She KNOWS in her mind this is wrong and she has done nothing yet. she wont until she is ready. I know i was in the same situation. I am sure that Karen is a good and decent loving mother and wife. Im sure that this is not the first time she has been abused. There is a reason that she has tolerated this for so long. I do think it is so sad to see people say that "she needs to get a backbone" bla bla bla. She needs to talk to someone to figure out why she has tolerated this for so long. Hopefully she will realize this and talk to someone professional. She is not to blame for his behavior, However she is to blame for tolerating it for so long and allowing it to go on
 
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unionbabe
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February 20, 2008, 12:50 pm PST

Way to go girl

Quote From: carole5324

Please tell Mr. Fat Obnoxious Controlling Cheating PIG that  the only women who would give him a Second Look all live in Antarctica.  He might do us all a favor by moving there with the penguins....He certainly looks like them but without the tux!

OOOOOOOOOOOO!  YOU GO GIRL!!!!  I like the way you think!
 
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gbuall
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February 20, 2008, 12:50 pm PST

RICK IS A JERK

KAREN GET RID OF HIM.  HAS HE EVER LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AT HIMSELF.  HE NEEDS TO GO TO WEIGHT WATCHERS AND LOOSE SOME FAT.  IF HE IS NOT PERFECT THEN DO NOT MAKE FUN OF HIS WIFE.  WHO DIED AND MADE HIM THE BOSS.  KAREN IS A NICE LOOKING LADY, SHE SHOULD FIND HERSELF ANOTHER MAN WHO WOULD LOVE HER THE WAY SHE IS AND DIVORCE THAT JERK. THEY BOTH NEED COUNSELING FROM A MINISTER.   HE IS A BIG PIECE OF DOG DIRT.
 
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chilldill
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February 20, 2008, 12:51 pm PST

Bully Husband

I was married for 26 years to a man like this.  He thought that by calling me all those horrible names it woudl motivate me to lose weight.  We raised 4 daughters, of which one of them overheard him call me a f*****g C**t.  She told me I need to divorce him. The only reason I stayed with him was because we had soooooo much fun as a family.  Unfortunately, I have become an advocate for early divorce, because the "tradition" that was created as of a result of 2 6 years was more then I anticipated my children overcoming.  This guy (bully husband) reminds me so much of my "ex".  It is not worth it.  Raise your children in a better envronment.  You can still have fun with your family.  This woman needs to get some self respect.  I went through bypass surgery and as a result after losing weight and gaining self confidence, I felt like "screw him".  His comfort in our marriage as a result of my being overweight came back at him.  He was so dependent on me and my support that when I got my own confidence,I told him to go f himself.  Abuse is not a motivator.  I hope she becomes strong and realizes her worth in life. 
 
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simswalds
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February 20, 2008, 12:52 pm PST

He's a jerk!

I can't believe Dr. Phil actually spent an hour of his time with this idiot!  She really needed to come on the Dr. Phil show, she couldn't figure it out on her own that he is a a-hole, that he is abusvie!  He's talking about how fat she is.......has he looked in the mirror lately?  He won't leave because she would "nail him for child support".  Buddy!  Don't let the door hit you.........
 
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bettysellm
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February 20, 2008, 12:56 pm PST

Concern for children

It seems this man is setting up his daughter(s) to have an eating disorder.  If these girl(s) feel like a man can only love them if they are thin (as daddy has taught them, and daddy is always right) they are ripe for an eating disorder.  I wonder how daddy would handle that?
 
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simone718
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February 20, 2008, 12:56 pm PST

what a joke

Quote From: brittgamble27

 ok, let me first start off by saying that when he married her did he not take vowes for better or for worse?? And where as I feel bad for her at the same time on the show she said 'it was not this bad'. Which means his behavior did not just start, which brings me to my next point , men do not change..as women we need to stop thinking that we can change people.  He needs to come back down to planet earth and realize that his way of motivation does not work, if he is so concerned about her weight why doesn't he work out with her and be nice to her, things like honey lets go to the gym, lets walk with the kids together, lets go to the park. There are so many other ways to be loving and concerned about weight. He needs to realize that his motivation is in no way a joke and HE KNOWS HE IS WRONG!!!!!.

-About the way he speaks to his children..from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE KIDS DO REMEMBER!!!!!! I remember my grandfather talking to me the same way. He called me n*****, b**** and all kinds of things..I was only 4 then..and WE DO REMEMBER and it does have an effect on us when we grow up.
this man is a joke, she really needs to leave him. he wants what he whats when he wants it and it .how can a dad call them a bitch.when i look at rick he reminds me of my father and its a shame that a dad can do or say thing like that 
 
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cuddles05
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February 20, 2008, 12:57 pm PST

bully husband wow

WOW WHAT A GUY.MY GOD WHO IN THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS.HE SEEMS VERY CONTROLLING AND DEMANDING.MY DAD USED TO TREAT MY MUM LIKE THIS AND MY MUM USED TO GO INTO HER BEDROOM AND SIT AND CRY FOR HOURS.I SAID MUM LEAVE MY DAD HER ANSWER WAS IM NOT FIGHTING AFTER 50 YEARS OF MARRAGE/ I  TOLD MUM YOU DON'T HAVE A MARRAGE THIS ISN'T A MARRAGE MUM.SHE SAID I KNOW THAT.MY DAD USED TO MAKE FAT JOKES AND I WATCHED THE PAIN MY MUM WAS IN EVERYDAY.AND I MEAN EVERYDAY.I HATED MY DAD FOR A VERY LONG TIME.I FIGURED IF IT COULD HAPPEN TO MY MUM AND DAD IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME.SO GUESS WHAT I WENT WITH A GUY WHO DID THE SAME THING TO ME.AND MY EXCUSE WAS I LOVED HIM I CAN';T LEAVE HIM.BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DECIDED TO LEAVE HIM AND I WAS SO SCARED.MAN WAS I SCARED.KAREN LISTEN TO DR.PHIL AND P,LEASE LEAVE THIS JERK OR GET HELP.I FEEL REALLY SORRY FOR THOSE KIDS.YOU KNOW YOU MIGHT THINK THEY ARE TO SMALL TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON BUT YOUR SOOOOO WRONG.THEY KNOW.I DID AND MY DAD DID IT TO MY MUM SINCE I WAS JUST A LITTLE GIRL,MY MUM WAS VERY OVER WEIGHT.DAD USE TO SAY YOU CAN TURN THE TIDE BECAUSE SHES SIX FEET WIDE,AND OTHERS.I CRYED WITH MY MUM FOR DAYS.I WAS TOO YOUNG TO DO ANYTHING NOW MUM IS GONE THANK GOD.NOW SO IS MY DAD.AND HE WILL PAY FOR WHAT HE DID TO MY MUM.AND I HOPE HE PAYS GOOD.I HATE THIS GUY.IT HURTS STOP HURTING YOUR WIFE.YOU CAN'T LOVE HER.NOT DOING THIS TO HER.YOUR HURTING HER BIG TIME.KAREN PLEASE LEAVE OR GET HELP BUT I WOULD LEAVE THIS JERK AND NOT LOOK BACK.YOU CAN DO A ,LOT BETTER THEN HIM.HE NEEDS TO LOOK AT HIMSELF.GOD I WOULD'NT EVEN LOOK AT HIM HES A PIG.AND THE BIGGEST A***HOLE I KNOW/AND IT MAKES ME MAD TO KNOW THAT GUYS DO THIS AND THEN THEY TURN AROUND AND SAY I LOVE YOU HONEY,YEAH RIGHT (NOT)

 

                      CUDDLES05
 
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abigler
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February 20, 2008, 1:00 pm PST

Bully Husband

Quote From: moshetova

Wow!  Unbelievable all of you saying she is to blame too.  Isn't it funny, rather sad actually how we are all so judgemental of the one suffering the most abuse in this relationship and we feel compelled to find something....just one shred to gang up on Karen about.  Ladies and Gentlemen, when you have had your self integrity shot down to the opitamy of  a PEA, one day you'll look back on your comment about thrusting blame towards Karen and you'll eat all of your words.  She went to Dr. Phil for help and sometimes in our lives we need to hear and listen to a completely objectional opinion, thus Karen's looking, asking and seeking his help....what part of that did you miss throughout the show.  This is her very first step to GETTING OUT.  Support would help her tremendously at this time, much more than your ridicule and judgement upon her.

 

Been there, seen it, done it.

Someone accused Karen of not having a backbone.  I think she had a HUGH backbone.  She has allowed that slug to live.  I left an abusive marriage with one child (before I killed my ex).  I had supportative parents which made it easier but I knew that had I stayed much longer, one of us would be dead and the other in jail. 
 
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