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Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

Number of Replies: 1023
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:51:34 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!

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February 16, 2008, 11:50 am CST

She needs out!

With out seeing the show as of yet .. I do see she needs to empower herself! Dr Phil needs to bring out what would empower her to make the decisions that she needs to make! To be strong and leave that man in the dust and tell him good bye! With him involving the children that is abuse and that is or should be a deal breaker! If he does not love her chubby he does not deserve  her. The light has to go on in her to see this is so unhealthy for her kids. This is him molding them into the adults they will become! If she doesn't want to do it for herself she needs to think of her babies! What he does to her that is NOT LOVE ... She needs to know what love is because that is what it is not. It is life changing in the worst way mind tricks and cruel games. Words hurt ... It is like lemons in your month bitter sour and more it leaves scars on the heart! So let him suck on the lemons!
 
February 16, 2008, 11:50 am CST

I have kind of the same problem

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

I think he LIKES her fat, that way, she wouldn't be attractive enough to leave him for someone else.  That's why he's so emotionally abusive, I think that he knows at some level that being abusive is going to drive her to eat more, and keep her fat and at home.  If she DID leave him, how many supermodels would he REALLY attract?  This is just a mirror of his own self dissatisfaction and he's not man enough to deal with his self esteem problems.  So he makes Karen deal with it, what a loser.

hello there..I am really and truthly understand feeling of this woman.  because my husband did same things with me..after having baby I oput on weight...and I was around 230 pound but I am 5'10'' . I was big   but not the most ugly. Now I am weighting 177 and I am still not good enoght for him.

I am modeling sometimes. And for him it not enoght to acceped me as a good looking woman . I am not perfect. But I dont think I should to have a bonus from him. We never was closer seance I get pregnant. So...I dont think something really wrong with me or with this woman on Dr.Phill show.he has big problem. So dear..Be smart. And movied on. Make yourself happy. Make yourself healthy. Dont think somebody else can do it for you. Just you. and this is your life. Sorry for my English!

I am from Ukraine. But now I am in Canada! Good luck!

 
February 16, 2008, 12:09 pm CST

Dump him now....

 

 

You think you love your husband??? Don't kid yourself any longer.  I was married to an emotional abuser and used excuses to stay together.  Stayed for 18 miserable years and finally, with counselling, got a divorce.  Don't wait that long.  And don't use your children as an excuse.  They are only seeing a very negative way to behave.  Dump him now.  That reality might help him change but don't count on it.  Does he drink?  Use drugs?  Watch for those signs.  And if you see them, RUN......

 
February 16, 2008, 12:11 pm CST

He needs to learn

I am embarrassed for this man to think that it is okay for him to treat his wife that way.  I am only 19 and I am more of a man and have more respect for woman than he could ever have.  If a woman loves you enough to marry you than she is your princess not a piece of meat that you control. You treat her with the most respect an never degrade her.  He needs to learn how to be a man!!
 
February 16, 2008, 12:20 pm CST

BLOW HARD LOSER

If she had any self esteem, she would dump him on HIS fat ass.  If she doesn't have self esteem, she needs to WORK ON HERSELF and GET SOME.  I would have walked away from this blow hard and ignore him for ever, not answering any phone calls from him. 
 
February 16, 2008, 12:27 pm CST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: ramair

You're right. Many a husband will  "gripe" about his wife's excess weight. But, when she tries to lose weight, he will do everything within his power to sabotage her efforts. He's in his "comfort zone" with a fat wife. But, not with a wife who loses weight and becomes attractive to others. Then, he'll have to change. Maybe even lose his own excess weight. Or, risk losing her to someone else.
You have hit the nail on the head.  This guy certainly has his own problems.  Instead of dealing with them he abuses his wife to make himself feel better.  What a loser.  Take the first step and reach out to your support system.  There is so much available for battered women but you know you have to take the iniative.  I imagine it will be very hard but for your children's sake take it.
 
February 16, 2008, 12:30 pm CST

Bully Husband

Is she freakin' nuts???  Get out, and get out now.  Don't even think about it.  Her kids deserve better than that, and more importantly, so does she.

 

I hope Dr Phi "suggests" to her that she run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
February 16, 2008, 12:48 pm CST

Rick the bully

From the previews I seen of this upcoming show, Rick is no free trip to Hollywood himself.  I have heard other men on previous shows degrade they're wives for being over weight when they are way over weight themselves.   That is not love she feels for him, it is just that she is so insecure about herself that she is afraid if she leaves him that no one else will have her.  He has probably drilled that into her head day after day.  I hope she gets up the courage to tell him to take a long hike and never return.  He could use the hike to drop some of that weight he is carrying.
 
February 16, 2008, 12:57 pm CST

anybody can change

To all the responders who haven't even seen the show yet, it doesn't get any better than the trailer. For I was there to experience the pain of karen (my wife). I had no idea I was that bad, for people don't video tape their lives, and go over them at night and see their mistakes and correct them the next day. I would like to apoligize to Karen and let you know that every action has a reaction, and no one knows what we are really going through in our lives, but that is no excuse for the way I have treated her or other people in my life. We are currently "BOTH" getting help, thanks to Dr. Phil and his wonderful staff. And as time goes on hopefully we can fix our marriage, but it will take some time, and alot of apologies from me. Please give us a chance to heal instead of throwing salt on the wounds. For now  " I " know how she feels after reading your comments.

                                 Ashamed

 
February 16, 2008, 12:57 pm CST

My heart goes out to...

Karen and her children. Obviously Rick has shredded Karen's self esteem to the point that she feels that she is not good enough to be loved. She is saying she has to stay for the children but she is really afraid to leave.  He has made her believe she is all those terrible things he says to her. I also think he is sabotaging her when she tries to lose weight too. The only reason she should lose weight is for health reasons but as long as Rick belittles her she will probably not be able to. I think Karen is a beautiful lady and she truly does need to get help in rebuilding her self esteem.

 

She needs to leave him for her and the children's sakes. It is not healthy and is actually child abuse to her children as well as abusive to her. The children will start to bully others as this is what they are learning is "normal". Get them out before it damages them any more than it already has!!!!

 

Rick has major self esteem issues. If he didn't he wouldn't bully and abuse his wife. A healthy well adjusted man would treasure his wife and treat her with love and respect. He would want to do whatever it took to protect his family and make them feel safe and secure. He is very insecure and he makes himself feel more secure by belittling others. I doubt if he acts that way with people who have lots of confidence. Rick is not capable of love since he probably doesn't love himself so can't love anyone else. He needs professional help and I hope he gets it for everyone's sake.

 
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