Quote From: moduza
I know it may be easy to sit back and say run lady run but a abuser never starts out this way...he or she wants to earn your trust so on and so forth....but the best thing anyone can do is if you see red flags like he/she telling you what to wear and if you don;t change he insults you ...listen to your gut...NOT THEM small things turn big before you know it ....situations are further complicated when children are involved however my personal opinion well....i was abused by my father from a year old until i was 13,,,then again in foster care...only the foster father got jail time...i thought i was ok until after high school and i broke down...i never did drugs or smoked i was determined to make something of myself. But i fooled myself into thinking i could do it alone....I started working for a company and after 2 years was very sucessfull and i had made friends with a co-worker,,,we began dating after 2 years ,,,,i was shy and moved slow but he was patient and kind and a good listener however i saw red flags and i thought i was just being paranoid..that my past was clouding my judgment....BIG MISTAKE...Long story short he was cruel and when i got depressed he would call me names say I'm lazy and just like my family i was never gonna make anything of myself,,,and when i stuck up for myself he called me crazy ..i started to believe him..,i was so down on myself after that it was hard to do anything,,,,i doubted myself and it almost killed me..he started following me ,,,my brother had come to visit me and he was jealous ...he vandalized my vehicle and said it was all the other people who must hate me...the courts did nothing....he lied to them and said i was crazy and at the time i was very emotional ,,,,i have no other family no one to stand up for me ,,,,so to them one side calm man,,,other ,,,upset woman..i can see why they believed him but it didn;t take long until i was driving and he hit me ,,,twice and then when i ran they questioned me as if i was a criminal..if i didn;t run i thought he was gonna kill me...It was very hard for me to get out of the relationship...I wanted more , i wanted a life i knew i deserved but just like this show i watched today ,,,daily verbal and physical abuse takes it toll ,.,,you may become numb..you may lash out ...you may not even notice...I have never been to this site before however when i saw the show today i felt for that woman because my boy friend said the same thing ,,,he was only insulting me to motivate me...amazing ..I was with him 3 years ,,,Remember even if you are aware of the signs it can happen to you ...reacting quickly and most importantly TALK TO OTHERS...it can be stopped... I had to get that off my chest ,,,,that was the short version HA WOW,.,,
Thanks for sharing your story and I hope it helps to heal you even more than you already are. I really feel for you because I was in a bad situation too from childhood on and can really relate to what you've been through--you are not alone! I hope you continue to grow and thrive and wish you every good thing in life. I hope that for all the pain you have endured you are blessed 100 times over with joy and happiness.
(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!
