Message Boards

Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

Number of Replies: 1024
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:51:34 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
February 20, 2008, 8:00 pm PST

Whatever

Quote From: ashamed1624

To all the responders who haven't even seen the show yet, it doesn't get any better than the trailer. For I was there to experience the pain of karen (my wife). I had no idea I was that bad, for people don't video tape their lives, and go over them at night and see their mistakes and correct them the next day. I would like to apoligize to Karen and let you know that every action has a reaction, and no one knows what we are really going through in our lives, but that is no excuse for the way I have treated her or other people in my life. We are currently "BOTH" getting help, thanks to Dr. Phil and his wonderful staff. And as time goes on hopefully we can fix our marriage, but it will take some time, and alot of apologies from me. Please give us a chance to heal instead of throwing salt on the wounds. For now  " I " know how she feels after reading your comments.

                                 Ashamed

OKAY IF YOU ARE THE GUY ON THE SHOW HERE IS MY OPINION.

1. I WOULD HAVE PUT YOUR CRAP OUT OF THE HOUSE ON THE CURB, CHANGED THE LOCKS, FILED FOR A PROTECTION ORDER AND FILED FOR A DIVORCE AGES AGO.

2. THE PICTURES OF HALF NAKED WOMEN WOULD HAVE GONE THRU THE PAPER SHREDDER

3. YOU WILL NOT TEACH MY CHILDREN THIS TOXIC BEHAVIOR OF INSULTING AND DISRESPECTING YOUR MOM, SPOUSE OR ANYONE

4. INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW SHE DOES THE LAUNDRY, FOLD THE DAMN CLOTHES YA LAZY JERK, IS A LITTLE HELP TO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

5. SHE DOES MORE WORK TAKING CARE OF YOUR HOUSE, THE KIDS AND YOUR SELFISH BUTT IN 1 DAY THAN YOU DO IN WEEKS.

6. TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR, YOU ARE NOT BRAD PITT AND REALLY NOT REMOTELY GOOD LOOKING

 

YOU AND YOUR BEHAVIOR HAVE TURNED THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN INTO A SHELL OF A PERSON WHO IS AFRAID OF YOU AND YOU TREAT HER LIKE A SUBSTANDARD SLAVE. ALL IN AN EFFORT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER BECAUSE YOU ARE AN INSECURE,  NARCISSISTIC, EXCUSE OF A MAN.

 

I HOPE SHE GAINS THE STRENGTH TO KICK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE AND OUT OF HER LIFE. YOU DONT DESERVE A GOOD WOMAN LIKE HER. IF MY SIGIFICANT OTHER WOULD EVER TALK TO ME AND TREAT ME THE WAY YOU TREAT HER HE WOULD BE GONE OUT OF MY LIFE IN SHORT ORDER. NO WOMAN CHILD OR ANY HUMAN DESERVES TO BE TREATED THE WAY YOU TREAT KAREN.

 

 
User Mood
Peaceful

Message Emote
blank
February 20, 2008, 8:07 pm PST

Been there done that and survived!

I watched the show and was horrified at this JERK OF A MAN!  No I will take that back,...he is a whimpering little snot of a coward!  There we go!  I can breathe now.  I was in that same relationship back 17 years ago.  Demeaning, arrogant, abusive verbally and physically to me and my daughter.  He had an affair right in front of me and flaunted it.  I was at the bottom of the barrel and found a way to leave. He told me I was so ugly and fat and lazy that no man would ever love me and I believed it.  Talk about the depths of depression.  Can't believe I fell for that one!   It took me time but guess what...I found the man to love me for who I was, no matter what size, he sees the real me and loves me for my heart and soul.  Our 10th anniversary is in June and I couldn't be happier.  LEAVE ME, RUN RUN RUN...TAKE YOUR CHILDREN AND LEAVE THE SCUM BAG.  YOU ARE TOO BEAUTIFUL OF A WOMAN TO PUT UP WITH THAT! 

 

Let the pompous ass fend for himself.  Believe me honey he will be sitting in his own pile of crap longer that you can ever imagine!

 
User Mood
Peaceful

Message Emote
blank
February 20, 2008, 8:11 pm PST

I agree....

Quote From: ardis

 It's hard to understand Karen's state of mind unless you've truely been there.  I have.  When this show came on I kept thinking it's my life, they're talking about me!!  Dr. Phil showed a screen that listed the side effects of living with a mental/emotional abuser like that creep.  I'm still dealing with what I experienced.  When you're emotionally beat down, over and over and over, getting up gets harder and harder and harder. I stayed for 22 years.  I kept thinking this would all change, he would go back to the guy who chased me with flowers--it didn't change-it escalated.  When I finally fought back he bacame more beligerant and started seeing other women.  I would be curious to know what Karen was like before she met the bully.  For myself, I married my "mother".  She too had been an emotional abuser so I just moved into a situation that I thought was normal.  Yes, it was sick, but until you truely understand where someone started and why they're where they are now--well--Karen, sadly, probably has a bit more to go before she leaves.  But she will, especially now that the real truth has been made public.  Even with all the good information that's available to women on how to stand tall, it takes time.
You are SO right!  It takes some time before you even know who you are anymore!  It would not be right to jump into another relationship now for her....as others have suggested.........best to concentrate on herself and her kids....and heal first!
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
frustrated
February 20, 2008, 8:12 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: ardis

 It's hard to understand Karen's state of mind unless you've truely been there.  I have.  When this show came on I kept thinking it's my life, they're talking about me!!  Dr. Phil showed a screen that listed the side effects of living with a mental/emotional abuser like that creep.  I'm still dealing with what I experienced.  When you're emotionally beat down, over and over and over, getting up gets harder and harder and harder. I stayed for 22 years.  I kept thinking this would all change, he would go back to the guy who chased me with flowers--it didn't change-it escalated.  When I finally fought back he bacame more beligerant and started seeing other women.  I would be curious to know what Karen was like before she met the bully.  For myself, I married my "mother".  She too had been an emotional abuser so I just moved into a situation that I thought was normal.  Yes, it was sick, but until you truely understand where someone started and why they're where they are now--well--Karen, sadly, probably has a bit more to go before she leaves.  But she will, especially now that the real truth has been made public.  Even with all the good information that's available to women on how to stand tall, it takes time.

  Always remember  these adages Karen.  A leopard does not change its spots for anyone at any time.  They are set permantly in their personal make up.   You can't change them. Don't bother trying.  The only change you can do is to yourself.  GETTING RID  OF HIM is a good change.

 

Chances are his next girlfriend or wife will get the same treatment as you did.  So this is no big loss for you, but a gain for you.  Get rid of bad baggage.  What day is your garbage pick up?  Make sure he is on top of the garbage can outside your door.  Put a sign on it.  Please take this away

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
February 20, 2008, 8:18 pm PST

Get out Now

I have been married nearly 42 years My husband doesn';t like the fact that i am overweight either but he has never berated me like this jerk. He has been supportive and he is not the same size as he was when we married. We work together on our issues so that we can get to the best parts of life. He is not worthy of your time or love, You are so wounded right now that you don';t know what you need, Dr Phil has you and your kid';s best interests at heart, take the help and grow in faith and get as strong as you can, In time you will leave him and rightly so, there is someone out there for everyone, He is not it, I doubt he could make sex with anyone, I think he just can't perform because he hates himself and everyone around him, Take your kids and get out, i will be praying for you , God Bless You, Diana
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
February 20, 2008, 8:20 pm PST

Abused & Abuser

As far as I am concerned Karen has now become an abuser herself - as

soon as she didnt pick up her kids and head for a Divorce attorney after

he looked at his 4 yr old daughter and called her a  f** bitch.  It is getting very tiring watching

these women whose backbone never developed.  Forget about your own problems -

your number one job is to protect your child.

 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
angry
February 20, 2008, 8:23 pm PST

*-Rick

  You are the reason they invented birth control!!!  Do you have ANY idea how many woman are into drugs and alcohol, abusive relationships, eating disorders, ETC......  Because they had a father like you??????  I have a father just like you and darn near destroyed 4 lives, because he thought the same IGNORANT way you do. Until I got into recovery my kids lives would have been the same because i married an IDIOT just like you!!!  But GOD loved me enough to open my eyes that I was better alone then with ANYBODY like you.  Stupid, YOU ARE HURTING YOUR CHILDREN!!!!  ARE YOU REALLY THAT INGORANT?????
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
February 20, 2008, 8:25 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: blgspc

So, SPOT ON!

Hope Karen begins recognizing SOON that she married outside of her Species! 

She just went TOO far down the food chain!!!

 

Remember, there is no shame in accidentially picking up parasitic vermin. The shame is in KEEPING them!!!

AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
hopeful
February 20, 2008, 8:30 pm PST

I can't come up with enough adjectives for this guy...

I just have to say, after my husband cheating on me for 9 years, this a***ole (sorry, it's what he is) makes my husband look like a frickin' saint. Thank you for putting him in his place....within the first few minutes of the show when you asked him if he had looked in the mirror...I was on my feet and shouting at the screen 'Yeah, Dr. Phil! You go!'

 

Thank you for helping this woman, I know why she's still with him, finances...unfortunately, it's still the way of the future...we women will NEVER be treated as an equal. Kick his butt Dr. Phil!

 

 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
embarrassed
February 20, 2008, 8:31 pm PST

Completely Unreal

Who does he think he is kidding? He needs psychiatric help. I feel embarrassed for her, she needs help as well to build her self esteem back up and own self-worth. It may be hard to leave, but your kids will be better off without that negative behavior and abuse. You all are in my prayers.God Bless You!
 
First | Prev | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | Next | Last