Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

I lived with a very abusive man for 2 years and only had the guts to get out after my son was born.  That's been 21 years ago!  I was 20 at the time and had no means of income, no self esteem, no direction.  HE had taken all of that from me because I LET HIM!  However, I had enough "momma" in me to know that I wasn't about to raise a precious innocent child in that chaos. 

What I want to say to this woman is this:  You say that you love him...and I totally understand your thinking.  However, you don't truly love him...you just don't love yourself enough to demand more!  When people are comfortable with themselves...happy in their own skin...they demand a certain amount of respect from others automatically.  Allowing yourself to be treated this way...in front of your children no less...is a HUGE sign of low self esteem and self-hate.  Would you ever allow your husband to mistreat your children?  Of course not!  And why?  Because you love them.  The same holds true for ourselves. 

Take it from someone who has been there...being alone and struggling to make ends meet is a joy when you are with those that love, care, and respect you.  Someone else mentioned that your kids will end up resenting you later for staying with someone who treats you this way.  I agree.  Right now, they don't know any better...but someday they will and they will either go one of two ways....they will either allow themselves to be treated the same way...or they will refuse to let anyone even close enough to hurt them.  Either way, you are teaching them that being degraded and humilitated is ok and it's the norm.  It's not.  Get out while you can.  There are tons of government programs available to help single moms. 

This husband apparently has his own insecurities (just look at him) and men like him have to make others feel terrible about themselves because they see themselves by their own words. The wife needs to get a steel rod and stick it up her backbone and turn around all the harsh words right back at him. The wife is beautiful but has lost herself in her husbands words and until she believes she is beautiful and loves herself more than her husband she will stay and put up with his crap. To the wife ~ take 3 months, stash some monies and pack a bag then when its time, RUN, not walk out of this mans life. What your children are seeing is what they are learning and if you want your daughter to have a husband like yours she will get what you have taught her to accept. Daughters gravitate to the men that most act like their fathers.

It always amazes me as to how much women are willing to put up with just to have a man. 

No, I don't believe there is anything worth salvaging in this relationship.  The children are being shown a terrible example of how men treat women, and this will stay with them as they get older.  

This woman stays with him because she has low self-esteem and is incredibly needy and insecure. She needs to get a backbone and move on.  If he wants to motivate her to lose weight, this is not the way to do it.  Perhaps she should start pasting pictures of  athletic and buff men around the house.  A large beer belly is about as unsexy as it gets.

This  women should run as fast as she can ,she is young and can have a life with her daughter Love is not for him is not enough she must love her self first , I can tell  you first hand he is not going to change after  50 years I know  , Dr Phil all ways says the worst thing in staying is staying one more day

she will be sitting there in her old age saying she should have left when she was young and could have started a new life it is easy when you are in your thirties or forties but not as easy in your sixties                     

DONT STAT RUN IF NOT FOR YOU FOR YOUR DAUGHTER Bonlady

   Where do these nonunderstanding  and nonsupporting  jerks come from????  She has problems enough without this husband treating her as weight on his perceptions of love and life expections.

He needs more help than she does.