Just from my past experience, and I put up with it for 7 years, of physical and emotional abuse, it was not a pretty picture, for my children to see.
I had three beautiful children, at the time, a 7 year old, 3 year old and a 2 year old. I had a part time job, only because I wanted one, even though my husband totally refused I got one anyways. He tried everything to get me fired from my job, but they knew what I was living with, and agreed to be passive, for a short time until I could make arrangements to get out of the situation.
I will not go into the abuse in great detail, but Karen what you are going through is no way to live, nor do you deserve to live in that situation, no one does, and especially your children, at least consider the children. The short of it is, I had come home from work, made dinner, we all sat at the table as per usual, and he demanded something else for dinner, he did not want roast beef that night for dinner he wanted something else, I said if he wanted something else he could make it himself. Well he decided to plant the plate in my face, I was choking and being smoothered with the food, the kids were screaming and were horrified. I settled the children down, cleanned up the mess, got the children ready for bed, and went into my room, and decided right then that was enough, no more. Next morning he went to work like nothing happened, as soon as he hit that door, I was upstairs packed as much stuff as I could and put the children in the car and fled, it was the longest drive of my life, it seemed like forever to get to my mothers home who only lives about 15 minutes away, it felt like hours. I knew that day as I drove away I would never ever go back, he could plead, beg stand on his head, I wasn't going back. In the past we had gone for counciling, he went to anger management you name it, at the end of the last counciling session my councilor knew that he could not get through to my husband, he was basically brain dead to any ideas, or change.
Karen when I left I had no money, no savings, I had a parttime job, I lived with my mother and father for about a month got an apartment, became full time in my job, got some assitance for daycare for the children. We did not have much, but we were all happy, the children were not sitting on pins and needles and neither was I. I finally got my life back, found out who I was, and what I was capable of to survive.
Today, I am a very successful Real Estate Agent, I own my own home, my one child is going to be going off to university in the fall, my oldest is a registered carpenter, and the youngest is still in high school. It's not easy, it's alot of hard work, but anything is better then living in that situation. Oh and by the way I have met the most genuine, loving man, who sticks beside me, and would never, ever consider being a brut, there is fabulous men out there, you just have to take the first step and get the hell out of there, and don't even flinch on going back, you will be better off, and then when everything has settled down you can consider losing the weight, since you already shedded 230 pounds, what a few more.
Take care
(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!
