Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

I feel badly for Karen and I DO know the hard decisions she will have to make. If not after the airing of the show, but someday she will make that choice.  It's never easy leaving an abusive relationship. By the time you make the decision to go, you are then in survival mode.  Faced with an uncertain future... he's always bullied me... how can I escape?  And when she does, he then finally claims he loves you, wants you back, can't live without you... all the things you wanted him to say before he berated you.   How can you survive this, he's made you feel so unsure of yourself, you don't know whether you're coming or going.  He will be uncooperative when it comes to spliting assets, he will use his children to continue the abuse... although suttle comments from the mouths of babes should never hurt us, those babes are being brain washed. Just as she was....  with the promise of a wonderful future together, children, grandchildren.  Emotional abuse doesn't happen overnight, it takes  sometimes years for it to get to the point where Karen is - Emotionally shut down.  She keeps trying to fix it, but there is nothing wrong with her, this I have learned through personal experience.  She has turned it off, it is the only way she can survive the abuse.  An experience which was totally unecessary, after all we don't have a choice of how someone else treats us.. They can be kind or be cruel....  it's the choice of the abuser.  Karen turned it off to protect herself.

If your spouse is cruel to you it is their choice - THEY ARE ABUSERS! Not you... you do not deserve to be berated, beaten, sexually abused, economically, verbally abused.  This is not your choice.  It is the abusers choice.

You desesrve to be loved better - that's all I can say for now, as this makes me very sad

Signed,

Survivor

There are bully women as well, and they too are Narcissistic.  My son has been involved in a relationship over the past year.  Because of this woman, every relationship he has, has been damaged.  With his children, his ex-wife (a great relationship for which the children benefited though she is happily remarried),  his sister and best friend etc. He is no longer the man he was, but considers himself to be terribly flawed and messed up, but he thinks she is a caring, loving, warm wonderful woman who he met but who sucked him in.  We all liked her at first and were thrilled for him to find someone to love him, boy were we wrong.  It has taken over a year to see who she really is, and he still doesn't.  He has been close to suicide numerous times.  He is now seeing a counselor, but I don't think he has a clue about what this woman is doing to my son. In researching Malignant Narcisissts she fits every classic criteria, and the worst is, they have an uncanny ability to get inside people's heads, and analyze them to use for their purposes. 

I was so infuriated watching this episode! WHO does this "Jerk" think he is? Karen was right in contacting the Dr. Phil show - I'd love to hear how she is progressing & if she has made any decisions to leave this 'LOSER' or not?!  I was horrified to hear how he berates HER & talks down to HER! Rick is one of the most annoying slobs I have ever seen on TV & he has the nerve to state that his wife's obesity 'disgusts' him? I laughed when Dr. Phil asked Rick IF he had taken 'a look in the mirror or had a mirror at home?' I mean come on guy - 'YOU are not ALL that & a bag of chips believe me!' This verbal abuse is being passed onto the children & IF Karen 'thinks' that she is saving her relationship for the children one thing I would like to share with her that was the best advice that I ever received & gave ME the will to leave a 'dead-end relationship' myself was the term 'self-sacrifice!' I was NO longer willing to 'self-sacrifice' MY own happiness for that of MY child because really how happy was my child in a dysfunctional environment where both parents could NO longer even  function as a couple that affected both of OUR parenting skills to raise this child in a warm, loving, safe enviornment. That was the 'promise' I made to my Son when I brought him into this World! I have never been happier with that decision & I have never looked back either. I sincerely wish Karen ALL the best & send my prayers out to her & her children. Keep your chin up Girl & your eyes forward....YOU are better than HIM & that is what scares the crap out of him! He knows he is 'nothing' without YOU! Women are the 'givers' of Life & the behind every Man is a 'good Woman!' He needs to either realize what he has with YOU & 'respect' YOU as the 'mother of HIS Children' or it is time for YOU to kick this Loser to the Curb because YOU deserve so much more out of Life than this...believe me...I know from first hand experience! "Don't hang onto Mr. Wrong, how else are YOU going to find Mr. Right?!"