Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

If you really love someone their size doesn't matter and you don't treat someone that you love like dirt. If he really loves his wife then he wouldn't be knocking her down like he is he would be encouraging her to loose the weight in a positive way and if he wants her to exercise then he should be willing to do it with her. You should always be willing to help the pth some one doesn't mean that you have to be togetehreople that you love no matter what the issue is. But what I want to know is why does this woman feel like she has to put up with all of this from some man, just because you have children with some one doesn't mean that you have to put up with being abused what is that showing her children?  Children are better off with one parent that is happy then to have two parents together miserable. I am sure she is a strong woman and she needs to realize her strenght and that she doesn't need this man in her life and she can be better than ever if she would just realize her worth.

 

My step-grandfather used to do this to me.  I was a chubby kid, and he would make comments about my weight- a real jerk.  Anyway, the seeds were planted and I ended up an anorexic teenager, I never was convinced I was thin- even though my bones were showing.

 

I had to realize that my self worth wasn't tied into whether I was fat, thin, or purple.  I still struggle with dieting and exercise and can't stand to gain an ounce, but I do eat.  I have quite a way to go before I'm comfortable in my own skin and comfortable at a healthy weight.

 

My husband is the most wonderful man ever- so patient.  He treats me like I'm jewel-encrusted!  I'm so lucky to find that male acceptance and let someone in despite fears of rejection once he found my flaws.

 

Anyway, it really infuriates me when I see some sorry jerk verbally abusing a child and screwing them up astronomically.  Why not rip her heart out while youre at it?  Karen, if you won't leave for you, at least leave for them. They desserve better.

What is wrong with those men how dear they say what they have been saying 2 there wifes that is just so rude they have no rite 2 say dat 2 there wifes the men need help so bad they dont need 2 hit there wifes they should walk away insted of hitting there wifes and kids.

this is just crazy. I dont even know what to say about this. Their is NO way in heck a man would talk to me that way. Their is NO sense in putting up with it.  GET OUT!!!!!

Good morning.  I read your response to my posting.  First, I am glad to hear (from one of your other postings that you are a friend of Karen's.  She will need all the support she can get to get out of this sad situation.  I agree with you that she would probably need counselling to uncover the reasons why she puts up with this as well as to get the courage to get out.  While we  don't know much about Karen's particular situation (the show hasn't aired yet) I suspect a few things are fairly common in this type of situation.  The guy uses put-downs to erode away the woman's self-esteem.  Then he lets her know how "lucky" she is that she has him because no other guy is going to give her a second look because of the way she looks. Does he try to isolate her from other important people in her life?  He doesn't want the voices of sanity and common sense to reach her because she may pick up and leave.    I don't even know that he truly wants her to lose weight.  If she did, and became more physically attractive  and her self-esteem picked up, she might decide to leave him behind.  I suspect this whole thing is a huge control issue, and that he has his own self-esteem issues.

About your comment that she is in this for the kids.....she MAY think she is doing the right thing by keeping the family together, but the kids are watching and absorbing what they see, and will grow up thinking that this is the "normal" way that things are.  They should not grow up believing that it is normal for a woman to be belittled, particularly by the person who is supposed to love her above anyone else. 

 

The double standard always amazes me.  Some fat slob of a guy thinks it is his perogative to criticize and put down a woman who is overweight, but doesn't think that he himself needs to do anything about his own appearance, and heaven forbid if someone should dare mention his weight problem to him!!!!!

Yes!  I thought the same thing.  He destroys HER self-esteem so that she feels worthless and wouldn't even attempt to leave him.  He probably makes her feel like she is lucky that she has him and that he stays with her (even though she is heavy!!), because "no one else would want her the way she is".

She needs to get out quickly, not only for her sake but for the sake of her children.

I told a guy once that kept finding things wrong with me that I thought if he could find enough wrong with me that he wouldn't have to take the risk of loving me.  He thought about it and agreed. Didn't change him, because he was a womanizer.

 

This guy is beyond cruel, beyond pathethic, and if he thinks she's not up to his standards, he needs to find someone else who is and let her find someone who thinks she hung the moon, because believe me, he needs to get this message:  "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

 

His criticism of her tells me he is narcisstic and totally in love with himself.  In the end, he will get someone who is just like him and will find what goes around comes around, and he Will remember all the things he said and did to his wife. 

 

Dr. Phil, he needs to be stopped, because he is teaching his children to grow up and be God knows what. You watch enough on serial killers and they can find all kinds of reasons connected to their childhood to murder women for just such nonsense! Not to mention, you can kill with your words and this man has more than murdered his wife over and over.

 

My first husband told me that I was so ugly I was doing good to get him!  I'd seen pictures of his past fiancees' and I was the best looking.  However, having been raised by such a man, I went on an excersion to find out, and I found out he didn't know anything. His next wife must have believed him, because she stayed and let him cheat on her and molest their children, and said that's just the way the Blackman men are, when her daughter told her.

 

Someone needs to pop them in the mouth every time they open their mouth and say such stuff for the next 30 days, and I guarantee you, they will shut it up! Like the rubber band on your wrist.  Girls like us need dads and fathers to stand up for us and say to these men, "You will not disrespect my daughter or my sister ever again or this little piggy will go to the market:"  Don't remember the name of the series but I loved "Jesse" played by Tom Sellek, a police chief, when this woman's husband kept abusing her and the protective orders didn't work. He showed him he had a protective order that did and that he would be following up if he ever did it again.

 

 

 

 

WOW, Is correct I read your comment and I have to say this has GOT to be the Best comment I've read, Everyone else is saying ''GET OUT'' GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU CAN'' Well its NOT That easy when the Woman Loves him unconditionally. She will get out but Obviously NOW is not the time. She is my sister and I love her dearly and she has MORE FAMILY Supprt then he will EVER HAVE

 

Not only is Their daughter involved but they have a beautiful lil boy who is 2 yrs old also. Lets not forget We dont want Nicholas to Act like his daddy. I think DADDY needs some ACT RIGHT. Maybe they will get the help they need and he will REALIZE HE AINT ALL THAT.

 

She did fine without him and will do FINE when they Split