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Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

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Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:51:34 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

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harleyfatboy

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February 20, 2008, 8:32 am PST

Fat boy / Not Bully

Dr. Phil:

As always, when ever possible (I am usually at work during your show time - today is a snow day, I work for an alternative educational environment for at risk teens) I find myself cheering you on from the comforts of my home as if you could actually hear me.

This ridiculous horrible excuse for a human being needs to not just to be put in his place (his lack of intelligence I am confident keeps him from receiving his just deserve) but needs to have the roles reversed.

I would love to see this overweight, physically repulsive, ignorant, fool put in front of a well established confident female and watch the table of justice take its turn.

Please do what you can to help his poor miss-guided wife find the resources she so desperately needs for herself and children, in order to rid themselves of this hideous individual FOR GOOD! Those children must not be permitted to have the miss fortune of growing up embraced by his complete lack of humanity and good moral sense.

To watch a grown man offer his revolting idea of life up to a nationally publicized television show, all the while thinking he is right in his nauseating analogy, is proof positive that he may just be one of the few individuals who can not be helped, and must live out his life alone away from any form of a decent existence.

I am so incredibly horrified by his appearance today on your show that if there was any way possible I could confront this fool in person; I would relish the opportunity.

Once again, please help his wife and children free themselves of this vile man.

Respectfully,

Jennifer, Ohio

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balters

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February 20, 2008, 8:42 am PST

She feels she deserves this type of treatment

I was in a relationship, marriage, with a bully. It was very short lived. Prior to this marriage I had been married for 30 years, a wonderful life, but lost my spouse to cancer. I was very naive and never experienced a "bully" husband until my second marriage.

It didn't take him long to convince me, through the mind games he played, that I was lucky to have found him and he married me. Mind games are very cruel and can be very convincing if you are as naive and in love as I thought I was.

Bottom line is that a bully husband is a very weak and insecure individual. A person to be pitied, but also a person to get away from.

Thank God my second husband and I did not have children involved, although to no comparison to children, we did have a dog. Sadly ----- I lost the dog in the divorce.

I have since moved on and am now married to a wonderful man. I am so thankful that I'm happy once again. B.A., Bloomington, IL.

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slyons9944

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February 20, 2008, 8:51 am PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: michiganderres

Not impossible. What Karen needs is a husband who loves her no matter what. I know Karen personally and I won't reveal too much, but she is a wonderful wife to this IDIOT! She does not deserve his treatment. She's putting up with it just for the kid's sake, which I feel to be for the wrong reason. If they grow up to witness this treatment throughout their lives, they too will inherit the disease, which is not fair to them.

If there are any single, decent, honest, not necessarilty good looking men out there who needs a nurturing wife, she is the one! Her kids are so well mannered and adorable, it would be hard not to love them. Even if not your own. Believe me, there is some lonely man out there that would appreciate the kind of life that she can give. She needs a rescue!

Friend of Karen, Clearly she is a wonderful woman. However, she does not need another man. She needs to regain her self esteem and confidence first. If she doesn't she will be bringing unresolved baggage in to ta new relationship or she will unconscoisuly end up with another abuser. I was in an verbally and emotionally abusive relationship and know others who were as well. When I finallyhad enough and decided to do heal things began to change. I am now married to the most wonderful man on earth who loves me and my son unconditionally. And the most important thing is he loves God first. I don't know where Karen is spiritually but if she is a believer in God please tell her to reconnect with God and he will give her the strength and direction that she needs for her and her children. She is doing the kids more harm by staying. It's hard to leave when you have kids. Stay supportive of her. She needs great friends. But help her learn to stand alone and love herself and her kids first so she can spot another loser a mile away. Don't push her in to a relationship too soon.

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cschin

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February 20, 2008, 8:53 am PST

Fat Boy Needs a Mirror

What a despicable human being he is. For the sake of your children, you need to get them and yourself out ASAP! Don't expose your children to this anymore than you have to. He isn't going to change. He is pretty proud of himself. For what, who knows? He is disgusting to look at. What a loser.

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slyons9944

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February 20, 2008, 8:55 am PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: jfabian

Rick,

Read between the lines!!!!

Matthew 7:1-6

Judging Others

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay NO ATTENTION to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will SEE CLEARLY TO REMOVE THE SPECK FROM YOUR Brother's eye.

Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.

Colossians 3:12-14

Rules for Holy Living

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Colossians 3:15-17

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body your were called to peace. And be thankful, Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:19

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discourage.

THANK YOU!!!! FOR POSTING THIS. These scriptures are for both Karen and Rick. Let's be prayerful that if they see them it will help. But as you probably know...God is in control and we will hav etostay prayerful for the relationship.

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slyons9944

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February 20, 2008, 9:00 am PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: lucy073

Thank You for this show.
I am trying very hard to get out!
I am going to copy these descriptions and put them on my refrig.
Because it does make a person think they are crazy and self doubt!
Lucy073

Just leave! You can make it without him.I know it is hard but at some point enough has to be enough. Please don't stay a minute longer because you will only be able to stand strong when your are out. Please read the viewers post with the Bible scriptures. You can do it. If you have kids, doit for them. You don't want them to end up discouraged. They learn from what they see. You can do bad by yourself. I did it and so can you! I will be praying for you.

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realmaria

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February 20, 2008, 9:09 am PST

Karen needs help now, not a new husband...

Quote From: michiganderres

If you truly know Karen personally, then be a friend and help her get herself together. She needs a backbone as many people on this board have suggested. Perhaps being on the Dr. Phil show will result in a "rescue" but not another relationship. She is not in any shape for a new relationship. I hope she gets the therapy she needs to find her inner strength. Dumping this swine she's been married to and reclaiming her own life would be a fantastic start. I think once she's away from him, her weight situation would also improve. As for jumping into a new relationship even with the nice guys you describe, I doubt seriously it would work as her current husband has truly poured tons of emotional baggage upon her.

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afraid

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February 20, 2008, 9:13 am PST

THE ONLY WEIGHT I SAW THIS WOMAN NEEDED TO LOUSE WAS THE 300 POUNDS SITTING NEXT TO HER ON STAGE!!!

WHAT KIND OF MAN CALLS A 4YR OLD GIRL UGLY NAMES HE SAT THERE AND ADMITTED TO CALLING HIS OWN DAUGHTER?????? and mom if you stay with a man like that your dumb as hell, and just as bad as he. no child should be taught to except a life style such as he is teaching, easpecily a daughter!!!!! its not a very good benefit for any child to live a life like that, I ASSURE YOU IF I HAD A DAUGHTER SHE WOULD NEVER IN HELL BE WITH A GUY LIKE THAT AND IF MY SPOUCE TALKED THIS WAY TO MY CHILD MY SPOUSE WOULD BE HOMELESS AND WITH OUT A FAMILY. DR PHIL I DONT KNOW WHATS THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS, DAMN DOES EVERY BODY THINK ABUSE MUST BE ENDURED TO LIVE??? HELL NO KICK HIS ASS TO THE DAMN CURB!!!! PUT THAT NOOB IN THE STREETS. I SURE AS HELL WOULD. THAT GUY MADE MY REAR WANT TO BITE A LEMMON AND IM A[ DAMN MAN!!! ] HATE TO THINK WHAT I WOULD HAVE WANTED TO DO HAD I BEEN A WOMAN. MYYYYYYY GOD.

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jabaja

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February 20, 2008, 9:15 am PST

Self Esteem

My mom used to ask me if I would be embarressed to be seen with her because she was overweight. My dad used to walk a few steps behind her, to not feel embarressed. There was near divorce, because of 'her size'. I have had challenges mentally and physically with weight, sometimes I was to small and in my current state - too large. WIth all this and more that could be said what really bothered me the most about this show is the message they are sending to their children. Yes they have some issues to work out but they need to see the impact that will be had years down the road. He said he loved his child but could then justify his words and actions. He acted like a 4 year old couldnt comprehend the depth of his words. He's probably right, she probably see's them worse than what he meant. It's hard for a child to see their parents as less than god so it's easy to say that some serious self esteem issues could prevail very soon. It bothers me that people want children and then feel as if they can do, say, and act any which way in front of them as if they are an owned object and not a developing person. He said it best when he said 'she was raised that way'. So was he and their children are not far behind.

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nixi333