Quote From: michiganderresNot impossible. What Karen needs is a husband who loves her no matter what. I know Karen personally and I won't reveal too much, but she is a wonderful wife to this IDIOT! She does not deserve his treatment. She's putting up with it just for the kid's sake, which I feel to be for the wrong reason. If they grow up to witness this treatment throughout their lives, they too will inherit the disease, which is not fair to them.
If there are any single,decent, honest, not necessarilty good looking menout there who needs a nurturing wife, she is the one! Her kids are so well mannered and adorable, it would be hard not to love them. Even if not your own. Believe me, there is some lonely man out there that would appreciate the kind of life that she can give. She needs a rescue!
Karen absolutely does NOT need another man - not now, and maybe never. What she needs is to heal and regain herself. Abuse of the kind this narcissistic jerk doles out is incidious - it probably happened so gradually that by the time Karen realized it - she had no self confidence, no internal fortitude and no real sense of self. Indeed, this kind of abuse is backbone breaking. She needs time away from his poison and skewed sense of omnipotence. She needs counseling and a good, positive support system to assure her the problem isn't hers - it's his.
NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is one of the most difficult personality disorders to treat - even by professionals. Why? Because these people are so flawed they actually believe it's everyone else who has the problem - it couldn't possibly them. They believe they're so much smarter than everyone else - including professionals - that they see no real reason to even entertain the idea they might have a problem, muchless acknowledge it or seek help for it.
In one sense, Rick is right - Karen needs much more help than he does. She needs help to get healthy and dump him. She needs to regain her strength and realize staying with him not only continues to damage her - but is going to destroy her children as well. She needs to understand this is not about her - no one would be good enough for him. They'll eventually divorce, he'll remarry quickly and continue the same kind of abuse with the next woman.
Narcissists don't give a damn about anyone else. They're great actors - but in the end, the motivation behind everything they do is to enhance themselves. They're master manipulators without consciences. And sadly - they leave in their wake a lot of very wounded people who blame themselves for the abuse they've suffered. And they leave all that emotional carnage without a second thought. It's not in them to feel remorse or guilt.
Sounds harsh, doesn't it? Well, talk to any number of people who've been involved in relationships with Rick's type and you'll soon realize what I've said here isn't really harsh enough. I personally know several people who've been nearly destroyed merely because they were duped into believing the person they fell in love with, loved them back. One has spent years in therapy and still doesn't trust himself (yes, HIMSELF) to get romantically involved with anyone.
Do an Internet search for narcissistic personality disorder and read up on it. You'll soon see Rick. And then check out the support groups for people who've been involved with narcissists. If you have any intelligence and compassion - you'll soon realize what masters of deception narcissists truly are - and how very loving, giving and intelligent people are taken in by these emotional assassins.
Karen does need help - she needs information and support to know she's not crazy and she's not alone. She needs to rediscover herself - and THAT, not another relationship with a man - will rescue her.
(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!
