Message Boards

Home

Message Boards

Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

Number of Replies: 1024

New Messages This Week: 0

Last Reply On:

Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:51:34 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

( Subscribe to this Topic )

cndrlla

User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote

February 20, 2008, 12:06 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: juliebgg

I think it is more than just the child support issue that makes him stay with her. Deep down inside somewhere in his self-absorbed head he knows he isn't going to get anyone else!!! This is the reason he is putting her down-to bring her way way down to his level. By eroding her self esteem away with his "fat" comments and I am sure he tells her that she could never get anyone else, Karen loses all her self confidence and starts believing that all he is saying is true. I'm sure he tells her how "lucky" she is to have him.

I read your other post where you said that she needs to fix herself and become whole before she will be ready to enter into a relationship again. I totally agree with you on that. Hopefully she will start on this path and build up the confidence to lose this loser and enter into a much happier and healthier life for herself and her kids.

Hi Julie,

No doubt you're right that it's more than just a child support issue....but, those are the words that came out of his nasty mouth...and the look on Karen's face when she said that was heartbreaking.

Let's hope that she comes out of this mess a better, happier person who looks forward to some peace in her life.

Read Replies to this Message

cndrlla

User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote

February 20, 2008, 12:09 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: moshetova

Wow! Unbelievable all of you saying she is to blame too. Isn't it funny, rather sad actually how we are all so judgemental of the one suffering the most abuse in this relationship and we feel compelled to find something....just one shred to gang up on Karen about. Ladies and Gentlemen, when you have had your self integrity shot down to the opitamy of a PEA, one day you'll look back on your comment about thrusting blame towards Karen and you'll eat all of your words. She went to Dr. Phil for help and sometimes in our lives we need to hear and listen to a completely objectional opinion, thus Karen's looking, asking and seeking his help....what part of that did you miss throughout the show. This is her very first step to GETTING OUT. Support would help her tremendously at this time, much more than your ridicule and judgement upon her.

Been there, seen it, done it.

ABSOLUTELY!!

You know who's the hardest on women? OTHER women!

Reminds me of hens....have you ever watched them in the barnyard? They pick to death the weakest one.

Read Replies to this Message

dingoyada

Message Emote

February 20, 2008, 12:16 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

He has whittled her self-esteem down to a point where she feels she can't leave him. I also feel she is expecting criticism from her husband, so she probably figures "why bother in the first place?"

Read Replies to this Message

carole5324

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
angry

February 20, 2008, 12:25 pm PST

Bully Husband

Please tell Mr. Fat Obnoxious Controlling Cheating PIG that the only women who would give him a Second Look all live in Antarctica. He might do us all a favor by moving there with the penguins....He certainly looks like them but without the tux!

Read Replies to this Message

shea_dell

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
angry

February 20, 2008, 12:26 pm PST

No Prize

This man is no prize, I so wish she would just leave his "skinny self on corner". What a shame that she and her children have to live with a person like this.

Read Replies to this Message

jimgirl

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

February 20, 2008, 12:27 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

I can't believe this guy! What an *sshole! She needs to leave now before their kids are permanently damaged, if they are not already. I have never been so angry watching this show as I am now.

Read Replies to this Message

brittgamble27

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
sad

February 20, 2008, 12:27 pm PST

WOW

ok, let me first start off by saying that when he married her did he not take vowes for better or for worse?? And where as I feel bad for her at the same time on the show she said 'it was not this bad'. Which means his behavior did not just start, which brings me to my next point , men do not change..as women we need to stop thinking that we can change people. He needs to come back down to planet earth and realize that his way of motivation does not work, if he is so concerned about her weight why doesn't he work out with her and be nice to her, things like honey lets go to the gym, lets walk with the kids together, lets go to the park. There are so many other ways to be loving and concerned about weight. He needs to realize that his motivation is in no way a joke and HE KNOWS HE IS WRONG!!!!!.

-About the way he speaks to his children..from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE KIDS DO REMEMBER!!!!!! I remember my grandfather talking to me the same way. He called me n*****, b**** and all kinds of things..I was only 4 then..and WE DO REMEMBER and it does have an effect on us when we grow up.

Read Replies to this Message

betty1952

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
happy

February 20, 2008, 12:37 pm PST

Ditch him - he's a sick, sick man

Quote From: juliebgg

Just from reading the preview..this woman needs to get a backbone and fast!!!!! Quite frankly, based on the descrition of what this guy has done and the put-down comments he makes, I'd have taken the kids and run for the hills a long time ago if I were Karen. No one deserves to be called names for being overweight, and pointing to other women (attractive and skinny I'm sure!) and asking the kids if they want her for their new Mommy is unconscienable. And whether he realizes it or not, he is not motivating his wife with his insults. He is making her miserable and she is probably turning to food to fill the huge void. And what message does this send to the kids? Hope she has some extended family support she can count on, and that she gets herself and the kids out as soon as possible.

My husband & I have been married for 31 years. In college, I weighted 220#. Lost 80 #, met and fell in love w/my husband. I was 152 when we married; 225 after childbearing, and up and down for all our marriage - and not once has he ever made cruel comments about my weight.

My Dad was an abuser, and I saw what he did to my Mom's self-esteem.

Urge her to GET OUT OF THAT MARRIAGE

Read Replies to this Message

wandab

User Mood
Good

Message Emote

February 20, 2008, 12:38 pm PST

She is crazy

Karen needs to leave him now before he sends her into a downward spiral that she can't get out of. He is a bully that needs to be sent to man camp now. Karen needs to get her head out of Ricks butt and learn to live and be with her children. If my husband ever said anything about my weight, I'd tell him to not let the door hit him where the good lord split him.

Read Replies to this Message

johnsonlila

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

February 20, 2008, 12:41 pm PST

The bully - Rick & Karen

In today's world you would think by now with all the education and information available to Americans that marital abuse is a thing of the past and no longer a common household issue. Like Dr. Phil, I believe he is having to pull her down in order to build his self up. He has some deep underlying issues that he is taking out on her and the children. Unfortunately the children are now the colateral damage to his bullying. My heart and prayers go out to her, for she is too close to the issue and deep into the marriage to see the damage it has really caused. I am certain she is scared and freightened and of course his abuse is working, she is doubting her ability to move forward without him. Also, she has not had the opportunity to step back, take a breather to see and feel what she really knows. She's just to close to the pain. In my past experience and from what I have learned myself, she is probably waiting to wake up one day in hopes that she will feel nothing for this husband, no empathy, no pain, no love. (that would be a dream, and the "if only"). My prayers are with this family and Dr. Phil. Good Luck!

Read Replies to this Message

First | Prev | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | Next | Last

Recent Shows: Dr. Phil Family Returns: ... | Cut the Cord | "Will My Mother-in-Law De... | Shocking School Sex Abuse... | P.I. Moms: The Truth Behi...