Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

Life is short, until you lose someone you never understand what life is about and changing your ways. No one deserves being treated any other way but wonderful. Don't waste your time with anyone who doesn't treat you the way you treat others. There are plenty of wonderful men and women out there, instead of wasting your time with this jerk Dr. Phil, you should be teaching this woman how to take control of herself and get away from him and when she least expects it, she will meet a man who loves her for herself and will do everything to make her happy. Why are you wasting a program on this marriage, he is a disgusting individual and deserves a woman that treats him the way he treats others. I can't even watch this anymore, it is ridiculous. This marriage should end before something serious happens, he will never change because he doesn't want to, he just says what he wants people to hear.

The woman being abused on today's show claimed she did not want to get divorced because she didn't want to emotionally harm the her children.  From my personal experience this may do more harm to them than divorcing, which is a topic I don't think Dr. Phil (whether he agrees with me or not) touched on enough during the show. 

My parents divorced when I was sixteen, after years of major relationship problems.  My mother reacted with anger (often exhibiting it towards me) while my father reacted with indifference.  The tension in my home was so thick you could slice it with a knife, and when I got the opportunity to get out of the middle of it, it was like a vacation. 

I think the situation had a couple major effects on me.  The verbal abuse from my mother affected me in ways that Dr. Phil covered in the show.  Another major effect was that I never learned from my father how to interact with women to form an intimate relationship.  That still causes me strife to this day.  After my mom was divorced she eventually got a boyfriend, and they were affectionate towards each other;  this shouldn't be awkward to anyone, yet it was because it wasn't how I was taught to act in a relationship. 

Anyways, my point is divorce isn't always the worse thing for the kids; it some cases, like mine, it is the best.  Everything a parent does in front of their child sends a message, and I think the majority of a child's learning comes from non-verbal lessons.  Sometimes parents' relationship help define a child's environment, and I believe environment is very important when it comes to mental health. 

If you have a comment on what I have written, please leave a reply, I would love to hear what you have to say.  Give a young gun some wisdom :).

I have been married for 31 yrs. and it has taken me that long to get up thea courage to leave him.  He fits this bully husband to a "T".  He is just much more subtle than this arrogant SOB.  He just didn't get IT. He promised and promised,he cheated and cheated, he ran down my self-esteem,he made fun of my weight.  In my depressed state I allowed him to abuse me verbally and mentally, but not any more.  I look into the "bully's eyes" and he won't change because he doesn't think there is anything wrong with him,it's all her.  SHe needs to get help and build up her esteem and strength, just as my therapist has helped me.  Good luck, realize you don't need him to be whole and your children don't need to be subjected to it either.  it WILL change them and not for the better.