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Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

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Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:51:34 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!

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February 20, 2008, 3:30 pm PST

Backbone

Quote From: juliebgg

Just from reading the preview..this woman needs to get a backbone and fast!!!!! Quite frankly, based on the descrition of what this guy has done and the put-down comments he makes, I'd have taken the kids and run for the hills a long time ago if I were Karen.  No one deserves to be called names for being overweight, and pointing to other women (attractive and skinny I'm sure!) and asking the kids if they want her for their new Mommy is unconscienable.   And whether he realizes it or not, he is not motivating his wife with his insults. He is making her miserable and she is probably turning to food to fill the huge void. And what message does this send to the kids?  Hope she has some extended family support she can count on, and that she gets herself and the kids out as soon as possible.
Her backbone was broken by him. You have no idea how hard it is to leave a man that you love- even though he hurts you! But I do agree that she needs to get out. What I don't think your getting is that when your in a relationship with an mental abuser- and he says things like "your stupid, blah blah blah" you start believing it- and so Karen might think that she's so stupid she wouldn't be able to make it with out him. He's screwed her up if that is what she's thinking. Stop putting down Karen- she's been through something that some people can't understand- something that even I'm having a hard time understanding. Though for the children, I do agree, she needs to set a better example.
 
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February 20, 2008, 3:31 pm PST

Idiot

This guy is a moron. He thinks he's smart, but he's apparently the dumbest guy on the planet.  Get out, woman!!!

 
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February 20, 2008, 3:32 pm PST

Hey,Hey, Hey

What is wrong with this picture? First of all, he is also overweight, what gives him the right to call the kettle black. I have a relationship like that one too, nothing I do is good enough, but why should it be, if he doesn't contribute with anything except his mouth and paycheck...I was working but he makes it so difficult that I end up losing the job, at least I did in the past...now things are different. I didn't gain weight though, but I stayed the same thin person who he met, now he is worried that I may find someone else the same way I met him ;at work. Is he worried? yeah, he should be....who knows I may divorce him and find someone new who loves me for who I am. It gives him something to think about...will I cheat, no because that's below me, but I would leave him and find someone else. Now the power has changed, he doesn't like it, but then to that I say "tough!"

 

The best thing she can do is "forget him" and move on. Don't worry the kids will grow up as respectable people because they don't have to live in the mess that they're in. If she stays the chances of the kids having a bad outlook and disposition as their father is more than 80% so she should do the kids a favor, get out and enjoy life, the kids will follow and know that their father was always just a sperm donor and not anything near what the word "father" means in every sense of the word.....

 

Kick him to the curb, hey isn't garbage pick up day on Friday in your neck of the woods?

 
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February 20, 2008, 3:37 pm PST

Get out now Karen

Karen, pls do something good for yourself and your kids and get away from Rick. Narcissists seldom change, even with help. I have known narcissists and have a relative with this problem who has yet to turn himself around despite all of the hard knocks (and help) that he has received from those he has abused. Today he is in his early 60s, and has very few friends and family around him.

 

No one deserves the kind of treatment you have received. You deserve to be with someone who will love you for who you are, and be a supportive and a caring partner in all that you wish to do. I hope that the assistance that Dr. Phil has offered will help you to a new realisation. Best of luck to you.

 
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February 20, 2008, 3:37 pm PST

Oxygen can be better used by bacteria

The oxygen this man is using to breathe can be better used by bacteria and other microscopic organisms.  At least they will have some positive affect on the world.  Fungus may also fall into this category.  The world would be a much better place for us all if he would stop breathing!
 
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February 20, 2008, 3:39 pm PST

02/20 Bully Husband

A show has never made me so mad before. The fact that there is a guy like this out there scares me. What even makes it more scary is that there is a woman who is willing to take this abuse.
 
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February 20, 2008, 3:42 pm PST

Kick this guy to the curb, girrrlll.

There is nothing funny about this guy.  When I was a teen ager, I experienced treatment from a person, much like this husband treats his wife.  I began to believe that I was all those "fat" names he called me.  He would dial 976 numbers for phone sex, and had me believing it was because I couldn't please a man.  IT WASN'T ME AND IT'S NOT YOU!.  Although, I was only 140lbs at 5'4 with a bust size of DD attributing to most of the weight over the "so called optimum" weight those charts go by.  Anyways... Hearing this guy speak on camera literally brought me right back to those days when I hated myself because of the person I chose to value more than myself.  He is a CHEAT, his has NO self esteem and therefore has to continually cut his wife down to feel superior.  These facts are obvious to the viewer.  Buy this guy a punching bag and don't let him in your house until he takes ALL of his aggression out on that.  The moment he starts in on you, put up your hand, take the kids and LEAVE.   I had to turn the show OFF because the anger drug up 20 year old feelings that I had healed from already.  Dude... You need help.  You are the bitch.  YOU are the Whore, and you are a scum sucking bottom feeder to have to tear down the ones whom you SUPPOSEDLY love the most.  It's people like you who never wake up one day, because your constant BULLYING drives any normal rational person into a phychotic state in order to simply stop the abuse.  If I were you, I would move out and get help before it's too late.  Life is short.  And if I were your wife, I would get a restraining order against you so that you would have to have monitored visitation with your children, (who by the way are a priviledge) not a right to be around.  If you called my child names like you do yours, CPS would be all over your butt, Buddy.  I think Dr. Phil's wife, Robin could have a hay day with you Pal.  THAT I WOULD LOVE TO SEE!  You disgust all women, and ANY woman who is attracted to your type is sick and also needs to get their own self esteem into check.

 

  To the wife.  Girl, you are so much better than this!  You would'nt believe the relief you would feel if you broke away from this constant abuse.  MAKE HIM EARN YOUR TRUST AND LOVE BACK.  He say's he wants his wife back.  Let him squeeze an 8 pound child out of his orofice and have all of the after effects that happens to a body after child birth, then he can speak with at least SOME education about it.  You would no longer feel as if you were in a hole with his boot on your face, shoving you back down, if you would only take charge of your life as well as your childrens.  It s UNHEALTHY for them for you to stay with this PIG!  if not for you DO IT FOR THEM.    And once you experience life without him, you WILL drop the weight FOR YOURSELF and for YOUR CHILDREN.  NOT FOR HIM!  He's the reason you eat!  Know this, beauty come from within, those aren't just words.  Ofcourse, he's going to say he was wrong on dr. phil's show, but don't let him off that easily.  Set boundaries.  If he oversteps them, HE IS OUTA THERE!  That's the only MOTIVATION he will need to change his ways.  If it's even worth it to him.  I think he's just paying lip service on this show.  You have all of the power.  Those children are YOUR FIRST responsibility.  Protect them so that they don't turn into fat kids who eat because their father's negative influences drive them to the reality you are living right now.  THAT should be your motivation, girl.  JUST DO IT!

 
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February 20, 2008, 3:42 pm PST

bully husband

One word for this woman:  RUN!

 

 
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February 20, 2008, 3:43 pm PST

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Karen I am glad Dr. Phil is getting you individual counseling. While you do need it your husband NEEDS it. He has a disorder that needs years of help and he probably won't stick with it that long. The fact that he truly believes that he is right and it is your problem shows that he won't stick with it. Why would he Karen when in his mind it isn't him that really needs to change?  Karen when you are making your decision on whether to stay with him just think of these other two people who also were narcissistic...... Ted Bundy and OJ Simpson.  Enough said.
 

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February 20, 2008, 3:44 pm PST

Karen I hope you read this

KAREN, I hope you read this message. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. What Dr. Phil said is so true. This (your husband's behaviour and abuse) has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own issues. It wouldn't matter if you looked like Barbie or not, he has problems and he would treat Barbie the same way. Please get all the help and resources that you can to overcome all the damage that he has done to you and your thinking patterns. It will take some time, but DON'T GIVE UP, keep persevering, don't let him trick you into being with him at this time even if he realizes he is wrong and is sorry. Even if he absolutely gets it at some point, it will take him a long time to change his patterns and it has to be all his choice. I hope you can focus on your health and the health of your children. Unfortunately he has damaged them too but they can get the help they need to become amazing, thriving children, as you will become as well. Please don't ever let him make you feel you are unworthy as a mother. Your children will see you make good choices, blossom and even thrive and they will too with you and your love by their side. Remember, be strong and never give up! All the best to you Karen and your children.

 
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