Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

Bully Doctor Husband Phil. Doctor Phil donot become a Bully Husband at all. See you on Wednesday-----

July 16th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------------------------------

I think there was an update after this program and the husband has seen some of his errors and is treating his wife a little better.  He must have not like what he saw when he viewed the program. 

I have worked with and counseled  abused women for years and found that many of them stay because they have what I call a martyr syndrome. Even if they leave, they find a replacement abuser so that they can feel martyred and get all the sympathy for their self-sacrificing actions and see themselves as the helpless victim (many of them were helpless abused victims as kids so they are reliving that to try and work through it).

 Oftentimes they repeate behaviors that they know will piss off the abuser to keep the cycle going. They need serious long term counseling to deal with the reasons they are attracted to abusers, and stay in the situation, using lame excuses for doing so. "But I love him" when he doesn't love you, "it's for the kids" when it screws the kids up permanently. If a decent guy came around, they wouldn't be interested or would reject him because he doesn't fit their inner programing.

I am not making excuses for the abuser, just pointing out a sad reality to these situations.  Abusers seek out these women and these women seek out these abusers on a sub conscious level.

        you lose totoal self respect and after awhile start feeling  he's right.

I'ts a control thing. I had a husband who said the same things. And I was only 98 libs. and would get to 100 lbs.

   The clothes are ugly this that. It's not the back bone but you really do start thinking your not worth anything and don't realize it.

So get the hell out of dodge while you can and the hell with him

C

                      I've been there before so I can understand how she feels.

I was marriend to a man who tries to control you with saying your to fat , lose the wt. and I was only 100 lbs. If it;s  not the wt. it will be the hair the make up anything he can control you with.

It's all about him him him... He's a fricken wimp so he needs to cotrol you to feel better.

 I didn't find out and please get out and know your beauty comes within not without and if this man can not see you for who you are then he does not deserve to have you.

 It's the fact you are  to good for him and if he can't bully you this way he could and may start abusing you physically so beware whoever reads this.

I know one thing When I left the guy and now it's taught me how to live life and accept myself for who I am.

I hope that by now the husband has seen the error of his ways.  As for the wife being responsible, that is hogwash too.  There are many things that factor in to the weight gain scenario.  Six years ago my daughter was killed on her 31st birthday, March 24, 2002.  I became clinically depressed and in those six years I have gained a lot of weight.  My husband has been so kind about it and supportive to a fault.  He does although, as do I, realize that if I were to lose weight, it would be a great advantage to my all over health issues.  As a younger woman and until the loss of my daughter I was a slender and very active woman.  I am trying to regain my svelte figure and don't know if it is possible but have high hopes.  I am now 58, soon to be 59 and need to get in control of my lack of inactivity post haste.

Please don't think this woman does not want to lose the weight, I'm sure she does and with any help and support from those who love her and care about her, she will.  Good luck to all!

            I SAY KAREN,,,,,,,, RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIRLFRIEND!! THERE ARE MANY GOOD MEN OUT THERE TO LOVE YOU LIKE YOU ARE NO MATTER WHAT........YOUR HUSBAND IS VERBALLY, AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY ABUSIVE TO YOU, IF YOU DONT GET OUT NOW, THIS IS A CYCLE THAT WILL REPEAT ITSELF WITH YOUR CHILDREN, THEY WILL THINK THIS IS NORMAL BEHAVIOR..... GET OVER HIM FAST AND GET GOING ,,, OR BETTER YET, PACK HIS BACK AND TELL HIS WIDE BODY TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE...................... THEN FILE FOR DIVORCE ASAP. BEEN THERE , DONE THAT!

No body has any right to belittle anybody!!!!  And as for calling someone a pig and thinking that will motivate  the person being called the pig to lose weight or change or whatever, the idiot husband better think twice.  Belittling only makes the victim go in the opposite direction.

Frankly, if that CLOWN was my husband and he called me a pig (or worse), he would be out on his backside (or through a wall!!!) so fast HE WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT HIT HIM!!!!  

I had a friend whose husband (now ex-husband) called her names and said "I won't get you pregnant until you lose some weight" & "we don't need counseling, you just have to stop getting mad when I tell you you have to lose weight."  Well, I'll tell you my friend dropped this jerk like a bad habit.  Maybe that's what should happen this STUPID PIG OF A JERK.