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Topic : 07/16 Bully Husband

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Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:51:34 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/20/08) Dr. Phil takes on a couple whose story will shock you. Karen says she’s tired of being degraded and controlled by Rick, her husband of six years. She says he calls her “fat pig” and “fat whore,” criticizes her makeup, makes fat jokes and puts photos of nearly naked women on their computer and exercise machine to motivate her. Karen says if she tries to get close to him, he pushes her away and says, “Don’t even touch me until you’re under 200 pounds.” Rick says when he married Karen, she was within his standards, but now she definitely isn’t. He says he’s just trying to motivate his wife, but says it’s a good thing when they fight physically because it’s good exercise “when the beast wails her arms.” Karen says she puts up with the mental abuse because they have two children, and as crazy as it sounds, she still loves him. Is there a chance to salvage this relationship? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

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ctielking

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July 13, 2008, 11:08 am PDT

07/16 Bully Husband

Quote From: juliebgg

Just from reading the preview..this woman needs to get a backbone and fast!!!!! Quite frankly, based on the descrition of what this guy has done and the put-down comments he makes, I'd have taken the kids and run for the hills a long time ago if I were Karen. No one deserves to be called names for being overweight, and pointing to other women (attractive and skinny I'm sure!) and asking the kids if they want her for their new Mommy is unconscienable. And whether he realizes it or not, he is not motivating his wife with his insults. He is making her miserable and she is probably turning to food to fill the huge void. And what message does this send to the kids? Hope she has some extended family support she can count on, and that she gets herself and the kids out as soon as possible.

It is easier said than done.!!

First she has to have a place to go - for safety reasons and have some money to take care of herself and the children. Not everyone has a family member that is willing to help out. I am in the process of leaving my husband of 13 years. Luckly for me I have been putting money away and a couple of my siblings are offering to help me out ( I have 5 brother & 6 sisters) - some people dont have any.

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ctielking

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frustrated

July 13, 2008, 11:22 am PDT

Easier said than done when leaving!!

Not everyone has someone to run to for help. when you make the decision to leave you have to

1. find a safe place where he cant get to you and the kids.

2. have some money to live on for a little will, until you can get the help you need.

3. keep you head and heart on the same level - dont let one over ride the other or you will start to make the wrong choices for you and your family - especially the heart for it will tell you to go back to where you have a roof over you & the kids and money every week.

I am in the process of leaving my husband. I dont have any children so it is easier for me to just leave. But first I need money. I started saving more money a couple months ago and now I have the money to leave. I just need the right time so he wont follow me. I know I will be proctected wherever I go.

I am lucky that I have 5 brothers and 6 sisters - even if one is mad at me, I can still go to someone else. A lot of people dont have this kind of help to get out of their situation.

You have to keep you head up high and dont look back!!

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grandmapiche

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Sad

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July 13, 2008, 12:14 pm PDT

don't worry about the weight

Before you even think of the weight you must loose the negitive things in your life that cause the stress that makes you eat and put the weight on. Rick is a negitive 100% and you got to think of your self and how this uglyness from him is also hurting your kids big time. I am not sure what sex your kids are but think about this for a minute. I wonder how many young girls starve themself sick because of something that they pick up from a parent, and do you really want a son to treat his wife like your being treated? For your kids health as much as yours loose the negitive selfish looser. You don't hurt and put people down that you love that is control. You look yourself in the mirror and say you are strong and a beautiful person everyday cause you deserve it. Lots of thoughts your way Liz

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fairytale

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Happy

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angry

July 13, 2008, 5:19 pm PDT

pshycology one

There are no victims only volunteers. Get out of this situation and stop using your children as a front.

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shar_shar

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Happy

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angry

July 13, 2008, 6:23 pm PDT

Totally agree

Quote From: gwarrior6

I think he LIKES her fat, that way, she wouldn't be attractive enough to leave him for someone else. That's why he's so emotionally abusive, I think that he knows at some level that being abusive is going to drive her to eat more, and keep her fat and at home. If she DID leave him, how many supermodels would he REALLY attract? This is just a mirror of his own self dissatisfaction and he's not man enough to deal with his self esteem problems. So he makes Karen deal with it, what a loser.

I totally agree. More than likely he is doing this to make her eat more because he doesnt want no one else looking at her. OR he is just afraid,if she does lose the weight, she may just get the courage to leave and may not stay at home. What a jerk!! Some of these men are just very stupid and insecure with themselves.

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penquin

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Happy

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July 13, 2008, 8:43 pm PDT

Karen's the mirror

Quote From: lvacffeshp

Ramair... I so rudely agree with you.... Rick needs to look at himself in the mirror before he tries to fix Karen. Karen... you need to divorce him... you can do better. Your 4 yr old daughter will be brainwashed by him if you don't.... at least you have a chance now. Rick will not change enough for you to recover if you stay with him.... Dr. Phil has said something to the effect of: YOU NEED 1,000 compliments or possitives to counteract every 1 negative...... and everyday you stay with him you add to the negative list..... YOU DON'T DESERVE IT... and you will NEVER LOSE WEIGHT listening to his continual put downs... You will probably lose weight after you leave him.... and be able to share a life with someone who treats you right and will be in your corner and supportive of you in every way..... and there are plenty of fish in the sea. Throw this one back for your sake and for the sake of your kids....

Sounds like he is talking to himself and his poor wife happens to be there. Pictures speak a thousands words, Karen take a few of him and say, " You know all this time I thought you where aggravated with my weight problem, until I looked at this picture of you, Rick. Don't worry big boy, I love you even though you are a tub of lard." Personally I don't think people with controlling personalities think about others enough .

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jacquee4

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Cranky

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frustrated

July 14, 2008, 5:40 am PDT

She doesn't want to do it.....

Quote From: michiganderres

She has support, but she is in need of professional help to give her the courage to leave the jerk! You can't just offer advice to leave, you have to want to do it! She's in it for the kid's sake and that is sad...

I'm tired of the excuse that she's in it for the kids....she's in it for HERSELF. Kids don't need this "Daddy", "Mommy" wants this "Daddy"! I say, leave her with him.

No wonder in this world that truly good, noble men are so hard to find. When you can treat a woman like garbage and she comes running back for more, where's the payoff in being a classy, decent guy?

I'm so fed up with women putting so much energy into these men and then whining and crying they "can't" leave. Oh, yes, she CAN leave. This is not a case where a woman is afraid for her life and the lives of her children.

Sorry, honey, think about the kids for ONCE. Yes, ONCE, because you are just thinking about yourself and that cowardly, loathsome loser you CHOSE for a mate.

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fabrat

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Good

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July 15, 2008, 5:31 pm PDT

Yep

Quote From: penquin

I'm glad you said that because I totally agree. He needs to look in the mirror. He's not just fat but he's ugly with a lousy personality... I can't picture any woman wanting him.

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sweetj42

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Happy

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July 15, 2008, 7:39 pm PDT

07/16 Bully Husband

I know how this lady feels this happens with my husband when we are around family memebers or friends he my husband acts so pleasant & polite.And when we are behind close doors he says I don't act right in front of friends or family when we are with them and tells me I stink and now says when my son turns 18teen.so making me choose who be with son or husband.I love my husband alot but we have issues, my love is more for him then it is for me.But I speak my mine to my husband but doesnt get any where because my husband feels he is the ruler of the house because pays for most of the stuff but I work fulltime too but only bring home 1580.00 a month and he brings home 4400.00 a month pays for most of the stuff.But this lady doesnt want to be alone or leave with her two kids because she probably thinks she can't make it but she can she just needs to have good friends to help her or find good room mates to split cost of stuff to live and she could make it.I would help her because I know how it feels to be treated like that if have good friends to be with lonelyness wont be there.Everyone needs good friends you can get men anywhere for your needs once a month...thanks sweetness

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ozarkcalamity

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Happy

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July 16, 2008, 6:46 am PDT

The Bully Husband

I wonder why she has not taken the kids and left him sitting in the dust? It is plain to see that with him berated her like he does, he is teaching the kids to do the same thing. Therefore she gets a triple whammy. Get out, and now. Take the kids and head off to Montana or somewhere, where he can't get his grubby hands on you again....like Australia. Have a life. Love him? Perhaps his paycheck, but you can't love someone who treats you like you crawled out from under a rock. Get out now.

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