Topic : 06/05 Family Court Battles

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in self-image, behavior, moods, and interpersonal relationships.  This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. 

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly females.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

Why Is It Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss AND Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR Stop Walking on Eggshells:  Taking Your Life Back...by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman

Divorce Poison:  Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex by Richard Warshak OR High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

Some of the story is typical:  feelings of insecurity contributing to destructive behaviors such as promiscuity, manipulations, self-abuse, rage attacks, revenge, addictions, and eating disorders.  The extreme behaviors of BPD constitute the high drama in the stories of those who endure its ravages.

Hope it helps!

After seeing the show today I had to write about our story of grandparent rights.  I think that the grandmother had every right to see her grandson because she had a relationship with him.  The daughter was overreacting, possibly even lying and she did not have the best interests of the child at heart. The biological father was siding with the mother so she wouldn't interfere with his rights.  Her current husband should have had NO input into the situation.  Our daughter and granddaughter lived with us for about 12 years. Our daughter got married, moved out, and had a baby.  After the baby was born her husband left her and filed for divorce.  We cared for both children when our daughter went back to work.  They reconciled and separated three times and our daughter decided that she just couldn't live alone so she welcomed him back with open arms despite his history of domestic violence, inability to work due to a traumatic head injury, noncompliance with his medication regime for paranoia and schizophrenia, and strong family history of sexual abuse.  I witnessed him physically assult her and then he attacked me when I called the police.  My daughter fled the scene with him and the children and later told the police that I was crazy and fabricated the entire incident.  She filed a restraining against us but it was not ordered by the court, but she refused to allow us to see the children.  I have a restraining order in place against the husband.  We had to file for grandparent rights for visitation with our granddaughter.  We had been her primary care givers since her birth since our daughter was always too busy with her job or school or her friends.  We were devestated that for 6 months we had no contact with our granddaughter who had spent the majority of her life with us.  We were granted every Wednesday 4:30 to 7:30 and two Saturdays a month from 9-2.  It took 3 or 4 visits before she was even comfortable being with us and allowed us to give her a hug and a kiss.  It was obvious that her mother had filled her head with lies about us.  We have no relationship with our daughter she even addressed us as Mr. & Mrs. to the court, instead of as her parents.  We cannot see the baby because her husband will not allow us to see him or even have a picture of him.  It is very upsetting to have a daughter who thinks that her children should not have a relationship with their grandparents.  Grandparents have so much to offer grandchildren and it is really unfortunate that some children do not understand the relationship between a grandchild and grandparents.  I don't know when or if we will ever reconcile with our daughter.